Category: Muamalah

Praise be to Allah.The phenomenon of
widespread spinsterhood (women remaining without husbands) is caused by a
number of things, including the following: 

1 – Demanding too high a mahr, and the inability of young men
to bear the expenses of marriage. 

2 – Girls refusing to marry early on the grounds that they
want to complete their education. 

3 – Girls refusing to get married to a man who already has a
wife. 

4 – Difficult conditions imposed by the wife’s family or the
husband’s. 

The ways to solve this problem are as follows: 

1 – The girl’s family should look for a suitable man who can
make their daughter happy, and not seek to make excessive demands with
regard to the mahr. Rather they should look for a man who is religiously
committed and has a good character, who will be able to protect their
daughter’s religious commitment and chastity, and make her happy. 

2 – Girls should not refuse to get married on the excuse that
they want to continue their education, so that they grow old and reach an
age where they can find no one to marry them. It is possible to come to an
agreement with their husbands that they will continue their education after
they get married. That is easy to do, praise be to Allaah. 
3 –  A girl should not regard a man who
proposes marriage to her when he already has a wife as unsuitable for her or
unable to make her happy. Many girls refuse to accept a man who is already
married, then time passes and they get too old and cannot find anyone to
marry them. But Islam and the Sunnah of the Prophet permit a Muslim man to
marry up to four women, on the condition that the man treat all his wives
fairly.

Praise be to Allah.
It is haraam for the wife to ask for a divorce for no
reason, and it is haraam for her to go out of the house for no reason
without her husband’s permission. But if she is being harmed as a result
of staying in her husband’s house or staying married to him, then she has
the right to ask him for a divorce. She has the right to leave the house
and go to her family so that she can escape from her husband’s abuse and
beatings. The husband has to fear Allaah with regard to what Allaah has
put him in charge of. The Prophet urged good treatment of women, and
Allaah commanded His Messenger SAWS (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon
him) to treat people on a reasonable basis. Whatever the case, if the
husband’s abuse is ongoing then she has the right to ask for the marriage
to be annulled, and he has to respond to that request, or he has to repent
to Allaah, and stop harming her.

Praise be to Allah.
This girl has to tell her mother and her brothers so that they can put
a stop to this crime before it happens. The girl must not sit with him
in the place where he is sitting, rather she must keep away from him
even if he is her mahram. The mahram – even if he is a father or brother
– if there is no guarantee that he can be trusted (Allaah forbid), then
it is not permissible to be near him, rather the guardian should prevent
that from happening. If that can only be achieved by punishing or imprisoning
him, then so be it. Whatever the case, this girl has to take every precaution
to prevent this evil from happening.

Praise be to Allah.A young child may steal for a number of reasons:

He steals because he does not know the difference between borrowing and stealing, and the concept of personal ownership is not clear in his mind.

Some children steal because they are deprived of things that others have.

Some steal to take revenge on the parents or to attract their attention.

What do we advise?

Keep calm. Instead of rebuking him and putting him to shame, keep calm. This situation is an opportunity to teach your child.

Advise and exhort the child. Explain to him the Islamic rulings concerning stealing, and tell him that Allaah says in His Book (interpretation of the meaning):

“Cut off (from the wrist joint) the (right) hand of the thief, male or female…” [al-Maa’idah 5:38]
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) accepted the pledge of women, when they made bay’ah (oath of allegiance) to him, that they would not steal, as Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“… that they will not steal…” [al-Mumtahinah 60:12].
Remind your child that Allaah is always watching. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“He is with you (by His Knowledge) wheresoever you may be” [al-Hadeed 57:4]
And Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“… Allaah is Witness to what you do.” [Aal ‘Imraan 3:98]
Tell him: Allaah can see you even if you steal something in secret, far away from the view of people, because He says (interpretation of the meaning):
“He knows the secret and that which is yet more hidden.” [Ta-Ha 20:7]
Confront the child: you have to confront the child with the reason and motive for stealing. For example, you could say to him, “I know that you took candy from the store, and that you took it because you felt that you needed it, but stealing it was not the answer. Next time, if you want something, talk to me first. I know that you want to be honest.” Try to make the child see how others feel – “If you were in the place of the person whose property was stolen, how would you feel?”
Making the punishment severe, such as making the child return the stolen property and apologizing, or making him pay the value of the item if it has been damaged or used up, whilst also depriving him of some privileges at home.
Supervising the child and not leaving him alone for a long time.
And Allaah is the Guide to the Straight Path.
See: Tanweer al-‘Ibaad bi Turuq al-Ta’aamul ma’a al-Awlaad by Dr. Haamid Nahaar al-Mutayri, p. 37.

Praise be to Allah.The issue of marriage is a personal matter which concerns you alone. You are not responsible for whatever happens between him and his first wife. 
If you have several options, then choose that which is the best. But if you only have the choice between marrying him and remaining single, then I think that marrying him is better.

Praise be to Allah.If you are not causing
his anger then there is no blame on you. But at the same time you are
obliged to treat him kindly and honour him. Allaah has enjoined honouring
one’s parents even if they believe in shirk (associating others in worship
with Allaah), so how about those whose sin is less than that?
With regard to your
moving out, if he agrees to that and it will be better for him, then
there is nothing wrong with it. Otherwise, strive to be patient in putting
up with what he does to you, for that will not be lost, and you will
meet it before Allaah (i.e., it will count in your favour on the Day
of Resurrection).
If a man who is employed
can put up with bad treatment from a boss, and bears his anger and insults
with patience for the sake of earning a living and keeping his job,
then you should certainly be able to put up with your father’s bad treatment
and insults for the sake of pleasing Allaah and earning His reward.
If he dies after you have been patient with him, you will not regret
it, but if he dies when you are opposing him and shunning him, you might
blame yourself and say, “If only I had been patient, if only I had put
up with him…” I hope that you will convey my salaams to your father
and tell him that whoever strives against his own nafs (self) and does
not get angry will attain Paradise, as the Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) told us. Tell him that destroying
furniture is a waste of money and is something which is haraam. According
to a saheeh hadeeth, the Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) forbade us to waste money.
And tell him that the Prophet (peace
and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to restrain his tongue, so
let him follow his example, as Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“Indeed
in the Messenger of Allaah (Muhammad) you have a good example to follow”

[al-Ahzaab
33:21]
If your father gets
angry, do not try to advise him when he is in the heat of his anger,
for he might persist and get carried away. Offer him advice when his
anger has ceased and he has calmed down, for then he will be more likely
to respond. Make the person with whom your father isangry go away quietly
so as not to make matters worse. There is nothing wrong with you defending
your mother, in fact this is required of you, but not by means of you
physically fighting with your father. Rather you should take your mother
quietly away from the scene after reminding your father of Allaah and
advising him to seek refuge with Allaah from the Shaytaan. May Allaah
help you and may He help us and you to do all that is good.

Praise be to Allah.Allaah says (interpretation
of the meanings)
“And
no moving (living) creature is there on earth but its provision is due
from Allaah” [Hood
11:6]
 “And
so many a moving (living) creature carries not its own provision! Allaah
provides for it and for you. And He is the All‑Hearer, the All‑Knower”
[al-‘Ankaboot
29:60]
 “Verily,
Allaah is the All‑Provider, Owner of Power, the Most Strong” [al-Dhaariyaat
51:58]
 “so
seek your provision from Allaah (Alone), and worship Him (Alone), and
be grateful to Him”
[al-‘Ankaboot
29:17]
 Allaah condemned the people of the Jaahiliyyah
who killed their children for fear of poverty, and He forbade doing
what they did. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And
kill not your children for fear of poverty. We shall provide for them
as well as for you. Surely, the killing of them is a great sin” [al-Israa’
17:31]
 Allaah has commanded His slaves to put
their trust in Him in all their affairs, and He is Sufficient for those
who put their trust in Him. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

 “and
put your trust in Allaah if you are believers indeed” [al-Maa’idah 5:23]

 “And
whosoever puts his trust in Allaah, then He will suffice him” [al-Talaaq
65:3].
 So you have to put your trust in your
Lord and believe that He will provide for you and your children. Do
not let the fear of poverty prevent you from seeking to have children,
for Allaah has guaranteed provision for all. By not wanting children
for fear of poverty, you are imitating the people of the Jaahiliyyah.
 You should also note that taking out
loans with interest is ribaa (usury), for which Allaah issues the warning
of a painful torment. It is one of the seven sins which condemn a person
to Hell. The Prophet (peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Avoid the seven sins  which
condemn a person to Hell…[which include] consuming ribaa.” And he
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Allaah has cursed
the one who consumes ribaa, the one who pays it…” Consumption of ribaa
is one of the greatest causes of poverty and loss of blessings, as Allaah
says (interpretation of the meaning):
 “Allaah
will destroy Ribaa and will give increase for Sadaqaat (deeds of charity,
alms)” [al-Baqarah 2:276]
 I think that you do
not know the ruling on interest-based loans. So seeks Allaah’s forgiveness
for what is in the past, and do not do it again. Wait for your Lord
to grant you a way out and seek provision from Him. Put your trust in
Him for Allaah loves those who put their trust in Him.

Praise be to Allah.Note
that is is impossible for things to stay the same forever. Glory be
to the One Who changes His slaves’ circumstances and directs them as
He wills. Our advice to you concerning this problem is first to think
of marrying the relative whom your father has suggested that you marry,
regardless of the   previous knowledge to which you refer. 
If she more or less has the qualities that you want in a righteous wife
and she does not have any bad quality that you think you could not put
up with, then marry her. Perhaps Allaah will decree much good for you
in that, and your honouring your father will be the cause of happiness
in your marriage.
 
But if there is an obvious fault that means that you could  not
marry her, then explain that to your father and try to convince him
that forcing a man to choose a wife whom he does not like could cause
the marriage to fail and could also cause harm to that girl. Advise
your brothers to try to honour your father and keep in touch with him
so as to strengthen the family ties and put right what has changed.
And Allaah is the Source of strength.

Praise be to Allah.We put this question to Shaykh Muhammad ibn Saalih al-‘Uthaymeen, may
Allaah preserve him, who replied:

So long as this is the intention, then it is not permissible to do this,
because it reflects a lack of trust in Allaah with regard to the hadeeth
of the Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) who said
“Marry the one who is loving and fertile…”

But if the birth control has to do with the condition of the woman –
because she cannot cope with repeated pregnancies – this may be
permissible, but it is better not to do it.

Question: Do you mean that it is more important to pay attention to the
woman’s condition than to the corrupt nature of society?

Answer: Of course, because there is no certainty that
one’s children will be corrupt; they may be righteous people who will
bring benefits to society. And Allaah knows best.

Praise be to Allah.If you are asking about the names of books on the field of Islamic psychology, the answer is that unfortunately there are still very few modern books in this field. There is a need for people who have studied the Qur’aan and Sunnah, and who have an insight into and practical experience of human psychology, as well as knowledge of the experience and writings of non-Muslims in this field, to write about this subject properly and produce useful work in this field. In any case, there are a few modern books in this field, which include the following:
‘Ilm al-Nafs al-Da’wi (The Psychology of Da’wah) by ‘Abd al-‘Azeez Muhammad al-Naghmeeshi
Madkhil ila al-Tarbiyah al-Islamiyah (Introduction to Islamic Education) by ‘Abd al-Rahmaan al-Yaami
Usas al-Sihhah al-Nafsiyyah li’l-Tifl al-Muslim (Principles of Psychological Health of the Muslim Child) by Maalik Badri
Al-Tafakkur min al-Mushaahadah ila’l-Shuhood: Diraasat Nafsiyah Islamiyah (From Seeing to Bearing Witness: A Study in Islamic Psychology) by Maalik Badri
‘Ilm al-Nafs al-Ta’leemi (Educational Psychology) by Muhammad Khaleefah Barakaat
Araa’ Ibn al-Qayyim al-Tarbawiyah (The Educational Thought of Ibn al-Qayyim) by Hasan ‘Ali Hasan al-Hijaaji
Diraasaat fi’l-Nafs al-Insaaniyah (Studies in Human Psychology) by Muhammad Qutb
Manhaj al-Tarbiyah al-Islamiyah (Methodology of Islamic Education) (2 vols.) by Muhammad Qutb
‘Ilm al-Nafs fi Hayaatinaa al-Yawmiyah (Everyday Psychology) by Muhammad ‘Uthmaan Najaati
‘Ilm al-Nafs al-Takweeni (Formative Psychology) by ‘Abd al-Hameed Muhammad al-Haashimi
Al-Muraahiqoon (Teenagers) by ‘Abd al-‘Azeez Muhammad al-Naghmeeshi
Usool ‘Ilm al-Nafs al-‘Aam (Principles of General Psychology) by ‘Abd al-Hameed Muhammad al-Haashimi
The first reference given will give you more details about these references, in sha Allaah.
We ask Allaah to give you help and strength.