Category: Muamalah

Praise be to Allah.There are many reasons for hating this world. There are some people who dislike this transient world and long for that which is with Allah of reward, and who love to meet Allah. Hence some of the salaf said: “The gift of the believer is death.” For he detests this world and his heart is attached to the Hereafter. Yet despite his dislike for this world, he carries out his duties towards Allah and His slaves, and he strives to do good as much as he can, in accordance with the words of Allah (interpretation of the meaning): 
 
“And worship your Lord until there comes unto you the certainty (i.e. death)”
[al-Hijr 15:99] 
And there are some people who detest this world, not because of the Hereafter, but because they think that their share of it is very little, and that others are better off then them. Undoubtedly this is a kind of discontent with the will and decree of Allah, for Allah is the One Who bestows blessings and distributes provisions, as He says (interpretation of the meaning): 
“And if Allah were to enlarge the provision for His slaves, they would surely rebel in the earth, but He sends down by measure as He wills. Verily, He is, in respect of His slaves, the Well‑Aware, the All‑Seer (of things that benefit them)”
[al-Shoora 42:27]
Some people hate this world because they have been faced with a great deal of trial, stress and exhaustion in it. Undoubtedly these people do not understand the true nature of this world. This world is the realm of striving and trial, the realm of stress and exhaustion, especially for the righteous believer, who encounters all kinds of trials by means of which Allah expiates his sins and raises him in status. Allah says (interpretation of the meaning): 
“Verily, We have created man in toil”
[al-Balad 90:4] 
“Do people think that they will be left alone because they say: ‘We believe,’ and will not be tested.
3. And We indeed tested those who were before them. And Allah will certainly make (it) known (the truth of) those who are true, and will certainly make (it) known (the falsehood of) those who are liars, (although Allah knows all that before putting them to test)”
[al-‘Ankaboot 29:2-3] 
 
“Allah will not leave the believers in the state in which you are now, until He distinguishes the wicked from the good. Nor will Allah disclose to you the secrets of the Ghayb (Unseen), but Allah chooses of His Messengers whom He wills. So believe in Allah and His Messengers. And if you believe and fear Allah, then for you there is a great reward”
[Aal ‘Imraan 3:179] 
“And certainly, We shall test you with something of fear, hunger, loss of wealth, lives and fruits, but give glad tidings to As‑ Saabiroon (the patient).
156. Who, when afflicted with calamity, say: “Truly, to Allah we belong and truly, to Him we shall return.”
157. They are those on whom are the Salawaat (i.e. who are blessed and will be forgiven) from their Lord, and (they are those who) receive His Mercy, and it is they who are the guided ones”
[al-Baqarah 2:155-157]
My dear brother… into which of these categories do you fall? 
Remember how the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) was tested. His people showed enmity towards him, and the closest of people to him resisted him. Some people slandered him, others persecuted him. He was thrown out of his home and was subjected to a harsh boycott. The kuffaar gathered together to kill him, and his wife Khadeejah (may Allah be pleased with her) died at the most difficult time. He would go for a month or two at a time without eating anything but dates and water. All of this happened even though he was the Prophet of Allah, and His Messenger, the one to whom Allah entrusted His Revelation. All of this happened even though he is the owner of the position of praise and glory (al-maqaam al-mahmoud) and the Cistern (al-hawd) to which his ummah will come (on the Day of Resurrection). All of this happened even though his sins, past and future, had been forgiven. 
So what about us, with all our sins and shortcomings? 
I advise you to do the following: 
Firstly: make a lot of du’aa’, calling upon Allah, and seek to draw close to Him by different kinds of worship, such as praying, giving zakaah, fasting and so on. Beseech Allah to take away what is in your heart (of sorrow etc) and to grant you relief. Allah says (interpretation of the meaning): 
“Those who believed (in the Oneness of Allah — Islamic Monotheism), and whose hearts find rest in the remembrance of Allah verily, in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find rest”
[al-Ra’d 13:28] 
“Verily, those who are Al-Muttaqoon (the pious), when an evil thought comes to them from Shaytaan (Satan), they remember (Allah), and (indeed) they then see (aright)”
[al-A’raaf 7:201]
Secondly: Understand that whatever Allah decrees for His believing slave is all good. No matter how difficult your life may become, to Allah belong all things in the heavens and the earth. So set things straight between yourself and Allah, and Allah will suffice you against having any need of people. 
Thirdly: Your depression and tiredness may be because of something that you have missed out on and not acquired or achieved. In that case you should know how often a person has pursued something, not realizing that in it lay his doom; and how often has a person grieved for missing out on something he wanted, but he does not know that had he attained it, it would have spelled loss in both his spiritual and worldly affairs. So accept the will and decree of Allah, and seek the help of Allah, and do not feel helpless. 
Fourthly: Check your heart and mind, and examine your relationship with Allah thoroughly, because a person may be denied provision because of sins that he commits. 
Fifthly: You may have some personal or family problems; the way to solve these problems is by prioritizing them. Seek the help of Allah (first and foremost), then the help of experienced people to solve these problems, and resolve these issues. 
Sixthly: remember that the most sorely tried of all people were the Prophets, then the next best and the next best. It is proven in al-Musnad from the hadeeth of Mus’ab ibn Sa’d that his father said: I said: O Messenger of Allah, which of the people are most sorely tested? He said: “The Prophets, then the righteous, then the next best, then the next best of people. A man will be tested according to his level of religious commitment. If there is some solidness in his religious commitment, he will be more sorely tested, and if there is some weakness in his religious commitment the test will be lightened for him. A man will continue to be tested until he walks upon the face of the earth with no sin on him.” Musnad al-Imam Ahmad, no. 1481. Shaykh Shu’ayb al-Arna’oot said: its isnaad is hasan. And it was classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’, no. 992. 
Seventhly: Persist in praying for forgiveness and in worshipping. That is better for you than all the worldly steps you can take, no matter how great and how many they are. This will also relieve your worries. It was narrated in some reports that whoever persists in praying for forgiveness, Allah will grant him a way out from every worry and hardship and will grant him provision from sources he never thought of. 
So persist in worshipping Allah, and act in accordance with the words of Allah (interpretation of the meaning):  
 
“And worship your Lord until there comes unto you the certainty (i.e. death)”
[al-Hijr 15:99] 
“And strain not your eyes in longing for the things We have given for enjoyment to various groups of them (polytheists and disbelievers in the Oneness of Allah), the splendour of the life of this world, that We may test them thereby. But the provision (good reward in the Hereafter) of your Lord is better and more lasting”
[Ta-Ha 20:131] 
May Allah help us and you to do and say that which is right. And Allah knows best. 
See: Dealing with Worries and Stress in the Books section of this website.

Praise be to Allah.If her brother was her
guardian, then the marriage is valid and they have no right to take your
wife away from you. This is wrongdoing on their part. They had no right to
harass you in order to take money from you. The wealth of a Muslim is not
permissible to anyone unless he gives it willingly. 
You have to go to the
sharee’ah courts and turn to the scholars and prominent figures in order to
resolve this problem. 
With regard to killing
him and killing any member of his family, all of that, as you mention in
your question, is a major sin that is worse than blowing up the Ka’bah. 
Whoever does that, the
curse of Allaah, the angels and all the people will be upon him, and his
recompense will be Hell, to abide therein for eternity. 
We ask Allaah to keep us
safe and sound, and to set the affairs of the Muslims straight.

Praise be to Allah.Types of cosmetic surgery 
Cosmetic surgery may be divided into two categories: 
1 – Essential surgery 
These are operations that are done to remove faults, such as those that result from sickness, traffic accidents, burns, etc. or to remove congenital defects with which a person was born, such as to remove an extra digit or separate fused digits, etc. 
This kind of operation is permissible. There is evidence in the Sunnah to indicate that they are permissible and that the one who does them does not intend to change the creation of Allah. 
(i) ‘Arfajah ibn As’ad narrated that he lost his nose in the battle of al-Kulab during the Jahiliyyah, so he wore a nose made of silver but it became putrid, so the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) told him to wear a nose made of gold. Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 1770; Abu Dawud, 4232; al-Nasai, 5161. This hadith was classed as hasan by Shaykh al-Albani in Irwa al-Ghalil, 824.
(ii) ‘Abd-Allah ibn Mas’ud said: I heard the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) cursing those women who pluck their eyebrows and file their teeth for the purpose of beautification and change the creation of Allah. Narrated by al-Bukhari and Muslim.
Al-Nawawi (may Allah have mercy on him) said: 
With regard to the phrase “those who file their teeth”, this refers to those who did that for the purpose of beautification and looking younger. This indicates that what is haram is that which is done for the purpose of beautification; but if it is needed for medical treatment or to correct a fault in the teeth and so on, there is nothing wrong with it. And Allah knows best. 
Cosmetic surgery for the purpose of beautification
2 – The second type of cosmetic surgery is that which is done for the purpose of beautification. 
These are operations that are done to improve the appearance in the eye of the beholder, such as making the nose look more beautiful by making it smaller, or making the breasts look more beautiful by making them smaller or larger, or facelifts, and so on. 
This kind of surgery is not for any necessary reason, rather the purpose is to change the creation of Allah and tinker with it according to people’s whims and desires. So this is haram and it is not permissible to do it, because it is changing the creation of Allah. Allah says (interpretation of the meaning): 
“They (all those who worship others other than Allah) invoke nothing but female deities besides Him (Allah), and they invoke nothing but Shaytan (Satan), a persistent rebel! Allah cursed him. And he [Shaytan (Satan)] said: ‘I will take an appointed portion of your slaves. ‘Verily, I will mislead them, and surely, I will arouse in them false desires; and certainly, I will order them to slit the ears of cattle, and indeed I will order them to change the nature created by Allah’” [al-Nisa’ 4:117-119]
The Shaytan is the one who tells people to change the creation of Allah. 
Please see: Ahkam al-Jarahah al-Tibbiyyah by Shaykh Muhammad al-Mukhtar al-Shanqiti. 
Shaykh Muhammad ibn Salih al-‘Uthaymin (may Allah have mercy on him) was asked: 
What is the ruling on cosmetic surgery? What is the ruling on learning the science of beautification? 
He replied: 
Cosmetic procedures are of two types: 
1 – Those which are done to remove a fault resulting from an accident etc. There is nothing wrong with that because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) gave permission to a man whose nose had been cut off in battle to wear a nose made of gold. 
2 – Those which are unnecessary and are not done to remove a fault but rather to increase beauty. This is haram and is not permissible, because the Messenger of Allah cursed women who pluck eyebrows, those who have their eyebrows plucked, those who fix hair extensions, those who have hair extensions done, those who do tattoos and those  who have tattoos done, because that is done as an enhancement and is not done to remove faults. 
With regard to the medical student who learns about cosmetic surgery during the course of his studies, there is nothing wrong with him learning that, but he should not do that in haram cases, rather he should advise those who ask for that to avoid it because it is haram. Perhaps if this advice comes from the lips of a doctor it will have more effect on a person. (Fatawa Islamiyyah, 4/412)
See also the answer to question no. 1006 . 
In conclusion, if there is some defect in the nose and the purpose of the cosmetic surgery is to remove that defect, then there is nothing wrong with that. 
But if the purpose is simply to make it more beautiful, then it is not permissible to do this surgery. 
And Allah knows best.

Praise be to Allah.
Working in mixed environments is not free of the risk of some
haraam things happening, such as looking, being alone with a person of the
opposite sex, or feeling attracted. Hence the scholars have issued fatwas
stating that it is haraam, based on what usually happens. It says in
Fataawa al-Lajnah al-Daa’imah (12/156): 
Mixing of men and women
in schools and elsewhere is a great evil and has serious implications for
people’s religious and worldly interests. It is not permissible for a woman
to study or work in a place where men and women mix, and it is not
permissible for her guardian to allow her to do that. 

Based on that, the father has no right to force his daughter
to work in a mixed workplace. If he forces her to do that then she does not
have to obey him, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be
upon him) said: “There is no obedience in sinful matters, rather obedience
is only (required) in that which is good and proper.” Narrated by
al-Bukhaari, 7257; Muslim, 1840. 

This daughter must explain to her father the dangers of
working in a mixed environment, and that it is haraam. She should remind him
of his duty to protect his family and save them from the Fire, and she
should do so in a wise manner and with beautiful preaching.  

And Allaah knows best.

Praise be to Allah.
Firstly: 

The Muslim is obliged to adhere to the conditions that he set
and to fulfil his promises. Among the conditions that are most deserving of
fulfillment are those by means of which it becomes permissible for a man to
enjoy intimacy with his wife, namely the conditions of marriage. 
Al-Bukhaari (2821) and
Muslim (1418) narrated that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The conditions that most deserve to
be fulfilled are those by means of which it becomes permissible for you to
enjoy intimacy.” 

Ibn Qudaamah said in al-Mughni (7/448): 

The conditions of marriage fall into three categories: 

1 – Those which must be fulfilled, which are those which
benefit the wife, such as the condition that he will not make her leave her
house or city, or make her travel with him (i.e., take her to another
country). 

These must be fulfilled. If the husband does not do that then
the wife has the right to annul the marriage, because the Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The conditions that most
deserve to be fulfilled are those by means of which it becomes permissible
for you to enjoy intimacy.” End quote. 

It is essential to differentiate between that which the
husband stated as a condition in the marriage, and a promise that he made
after the marriage contract was done. If it was a condition of marriage
(i.e., the marriage contract was done on the basis of this condition), then
the wife has the choice of waiving that condition or of annulling the
marriage, if her husband does not fulfil this condition. In this case she
should be given her rights in full. 

If it was a promise that he made after marriage, then he has
to fulfil his promise if he does not have an excuse. But the wife does not
have the right to annul the marriage if he does not fulfil it. This is the
ruling on this situation. 

We advise the husband to fulfil the condition and to keep his
promise, or to ask for his wife’s consent to waive the condition or to delay
fulfillment of the promise until a later, stated time. He has to fear Allaah
with regard to his wife and not bring haraam things and haraam entertainment
into the house. 

The sister who asked this question should be more patient and
put up with it. She should also try to get wise people from her family and
from his to intervene, in order to resolve the differences between them. 

Secondly:  

The husband has made a serious mistake by bringing the
satellite dish into the home and enabling his wife to see all the sinful
content that the dish brings. The one whom Allaah has put in charge of
others should be sincere towards them and not be negligent or heedless in
his duties towards them. 

Thirdly: 

The sister made a mistake, because she is not forced to look
at the evil scenes brought by the dish, and her being alone is no excuse.
She can occupy herself by worshipping Allaah, keeping company with righteous
women, doing permissible things, and reading and listening to things that
will benefit her in both her religious and worldly affairs.

Praise be to Allah.
Firstly: 

With regard to one who does not pray, we have explained the
ruling on that, and stated that some of the scholars – who expressed the
correct view – have ruled that such a person is a kaafir and it is not
permissible to marry such a person or to remain married to him, and that
meat slaughtered by him is haraam, and so on. We have discussed these
rulings in detail. Please see questions no.
34795 and
20059. 

Secondly: 

With regard to your brother’s wife making fun of those who
are religiously-committed and insulting them and mocking them, she should
understand that by doing these things she is in serious danger, and that
these actions may put her beyond the pale of Islam. 

Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on him) was
asked about the ruling on making fun of those who adhere to the commandments
of Allaah and His Messenger (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon
him)? 

He replied: Making fun of those who adhere to the
commandments of Allaah and His Messenger (peace and blessings of Allaah
be upon him) because of their commitment is haraam and is very dangerous and
serious, because there is the fear that his hatred for them may be based on
hatred of what they are adhering to, namely the religion of Allaah. In that
case mocking them is mocking the path that they are following. They are like
those of whom Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 
“If you ask them (about
this), they declare: ‘We were only talking idly and joking.’ Say: ‘Was it at
Allaah, and His Ayaat (proofs, evidences, verses, lessons, signs,
revelations, etc.) and His Messenger that you were mocking?”

Make no excuse; you disbelieved after you had believed’”

[al-Tawbah 9:65-66]

These words were revealed concerning some of the hypocrites
who said: “We have never seen anything like these reciters – meaning the
Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and his
companions – they are the most greedy, the most false of speech and the most
cowardly in battle.” Then Allaah revealed this verse concerning them.  

Those who make fun of the followers of truth because they are
religiously-committed should beware, for Allaah says (interpretation of the
meaning): 

“Verily, (during the worldly life) those who committed
crimes used to laugh at those who believed.

30. And, whenever they passed by them, used to wink one to
another (in mockery).

31. And when they returned to their own people, they would
return jesting;

32. And when they saw them, they said: ‘Verily, these have
indeed gone astray!’

33. But they (disbelievers, sinners) had not been sent as
watchers over them (the believers).

34. But this Day (the Day of Resurrection) those who
believe will laugh at the disbelievers

35. On (high) thrones, looking (at all things).

36. Are not the disbelievers paid (fully) for what they
used to do?”

[al-Mutaffifeen 83:29-36]

Majmoo’ Fataawa al-Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen,
2/question no. 236. 
Insulting a Muslim is a
major sin, especially if one insults him for being religiously committed and
righteous. There is the fear that the one who does this may fall into
apostasy as stated above with regard to mocking them. 

It was narrated from ‘Abd-Allaah ibn Mas’ood (may Allaah be
pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be
upon him) said: “Insulting a Muslim is immorality and killing him is kufr.” 

Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 48; Muslim, 64. 

Al-Nawawi said: 

In Arabic the word sabb (translated here as insulting)
means slandering a person and speaking of his honour in a disparaging
fashion. And fisq (translated here as immorality) means going out; in
sharee’ah terminology it means going out of obedience (i.e., transgressing
the bounds of obedience). 

With regard to the meaning of the hadeeth: Insulting a Muslim
for no reason is haraam according to the consensus of the ummah, so the one
who does that is a faasiq as the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah
be upon him) said. 

Sharh Muslim, 2/53, 54. 
We advise you to
continue advising her, and if that is via your brother, that will be better.
Tell him of the Islamic rulings on what she is doing, and encourage him to
guide her by whatever means he can. 

We do not advise you to sit with her unless she repents and
turns back to her Lord. We fear that you may react towards her, and we fear
that she may increase in sin every time she sees you or sits with you. 

Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“And when you (Muhammad) see those who engage in a false
conversation about Our Verses (of the Qur’aan) by mocking at them, stay away
from them till they turn to another topic. And if Shaytaan (Satan) causes
you to forget, then after the remembrance sit not you in the company of
those people who are the Zaalimoon (polytheists and wrongdoers)”

[al-An’aam 6:68]
But if you speak to her
and do not shun her, that may be more beneficial for her because it may
soften her heart. You can limit it to greeting and welcoming her, and asking
how she is, without indulging in any arguments with her that may lead her to
do something haraam. 

Do not forget – as well as doing what you can to advise her –
to pray that she may be guided aright. 

And Allaah knows best.

Praise be to Allah.
Firstly: 

With regard to your father, you have to keep on advising him
and reminding him of what Allaah has enjoined upon him with regard to
himself and to his family. 

You have to try different methods of advising him. It may be
hard for him to hear it from you, but do not despair of reminders and
exhortations reaching him by way of your relatives or his friends. You could
also let him listen to some useful tapes. 

Secondly: 

You have to fear Allaah with regard to your husband. You
should not bring the worries of your family into your husband’s house and
place them on his shoulders, especially since he treats you well and you do
not see anything from him that upsets you. What you have to do is to
appreciate him and treat him kindly. This is what Allaah commands you to
do. 

Thirdly: 

No one is free of diseases – except those on whom Allaah has
mercy. The fact that your father likes to show off and to appear to be
better than others means that you have to be compassionate towards him, not
resent him. The fact that he has treated you badly and is still doing so
means that you should show mercy towards him, for if he dies and meets his
Lord in that state, then he will meet Him with many sins. 

Hence you and your siblings and family have to look again at
your relationship with your father and your attitude towards him, for Allaah
has commanded us to treat parents well and honour them, even if they call us
to shirk and kufr. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“But if they (both) strive with you to make you join in
worship with Me others that of which you have no knowledge, then obey them
not; but behave with them in the world kindly, and follow the path of him
who turns to Me in repentance and in obedience. Then to Me will be your
return, and I shall tell you what you used to do”

[Luqmaan 31:15]
Ibraaheem (peace be upon
him) debated with his mushrik father politely, as Allaah tells us
(interpretation of the meaning): 

“And mention in the Book (the Qur’aan) Ibraaheem
(Abraham). Verily, he was a man of truth, a Prophet.

42. When he said to his father: ‘O my father! Why do you
worship that which hears not, sees not and cannot avail you in anything?

43. ‘O my father! Verily, there has come to me of the
knowledge that which came not unto you. So follow me, I will guide you to
the Straight Path.

44. ‘O my father! Worship not Shaytaan (Satan). Verily,
Shaytaan (Satan) has been a rebel against the Most Gracious (Allaah).

45. ‘O my father! Verily, I fear lest a torment from the
Most Gracious (Allaah) should overtake you, so that you become a companion
of Shaytaan (Satan) (in the Hell-fire).’

46. He (the father) said: ‘Do you reject my gods, O
Ibraaheem (Abraham)? If you stop not (this), I will indeed stone you. So get
away from me safely (before I punish you).’

47. Ibraaheem (Abraham) said: ‘Peace be on you! I will ask
forgiveness of my Lord for you. Verily, He is unto me Ever Most Gracious’”

[Maryam 19:41-47]

Look at the etiquette of this Prophet (peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him) and how he addressed his mushrik father who
was threatening his Muslim son. In this there is a great lesson for those
who suffer a similar problem with their fathers. 

Fourthly: 

With regard to the grief that you feel, it should not make
you stop doing things or prevent you from doing acts of worship, or make you
fall short in doing that which Allaah has enjoined upon you, such as the
duties that Allaah has enjoined upon you towards your husband, or the duty
to call your father to Allaah. 

We advise you to recite a du’aa’ for protection, and another
for healing. 

The du’aa’ for protection is as follows: 

It was narrated from Anas (may Allaah be pleased with him)
that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to
say: “Allaahumma inni a’oodhu bika min al-hammi wa’l-hazani wa’l’ajzi
wa’l-kasali wa’l-jubni wa’l-bukhli wa dala’ il-dayn wa ghalbat al-rijaal
(O Allaah, I seek refuge with You from worry, grief, incapacity, laziness,
cowardice, miserliness, from being heavily indebt
and from being overcome by men).” Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 6008.  

The du’aa’ for healing is as follows: 

It was narrated that ‘Abd-Allaah ibn Mas’ood said: The
Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:
“If a person who is afflicted by anxiety or sorrow says: ‘Allaahumma inni
‘abduka wa ibnu ‘abdika wa ibn ammatika naasiyati bi yadika maadin fiyya
hukmuka ‘adlun fiyya qadaa’uka as’aluka bi kulli ismin huwa laka sammayta
bihi nafsaka aw ‘allamtahu ahadan min khalqika aw anzaltahu fi kitaabika aw
asta’tharta bihi fi ‘ilm il-ghaybi ‘indaka an taj’al al-Qur’aana rabee’a
qalbi wa nooar sadri wa jalaa’a huzni wa dhahaaba hammi (O Allaah, I am
Your slave, son of Your slave, son of Your female slave, my forelock is in
Your hand, Your command over me is forever executed and Your decree over me
is just. I ask You by every name belonging to You with which You have named
Yourself, or, or You have taught to any of Your creation, or You have
revealed in Your Book, or You have preserved in the knowledge of the Unseen
with You, that You make the Qur’aan the life of my heat and the light of my
breast, and a departure for my sorrow and a release for my anxiety)’, then
Allaah will take away his anxiety and sorrow, and will replace it with
joy.” 

It was said: “O Messenger of Allaah, should we not learn it?”
He said: “Yes, whoever hears it should learn it.” 

Narrated by Ahmad, 3704; classed as saheeh by Shaykh
al-Albaani in al-Silsilah al-Saheehah, 199. 

And Allaah knows best.

Praise be to Allah.
The way your husband’s mother has behaved is strange. How can
her son control her and make her act in this manner? But despite all that
your husband has to honour his mother as much as he can, and Allaah does not
burden any soul beyond its scope. If he can visit her when this son is not
present, that is good. If he can keep in touch with her by phone, then let
him do so, and explain to her what he feels, this is good as well. If he can
get some people to intervene, women and others, who can influence his
mother, then let him do so. And he should seek the help of Allaah and make a
lot of du’aa’. 

The fact that your husband defended himself in court and in
front of the police is also good. 

If he takes his brother who wronged him to court to stop him
from doing more harm, that is permissible, but if he bears it with patience
that is better for him. 

Trying to get your husband’s mother away from this oppressive
brother (as described in the question) is a good idea, so as to remove the
means that your brother is using to try to control the whole family. 

There is nothing wrong with you stopping visiting her for
now, until things settle down, so that you will not be harmed again as
happened before, especially since your husband’s mother is not one of your
relatives with whom you are enjoined to uphold ties and honour them. If you
do not visit her this is not regarded as disobedience or severing of family
ties. 
Yes, you will be
rewarded for visiting her and treating her kindly, if you do that sincerely
for the sake of Allaah, and this is part of treating your husband kindly,
but it is not obligatory for you to do that, especially since she is badly
behaved and has a bad attitude. And Allaah knows best.

Praise be to Allah.
The basic principle concerning divorce is that it is makrooh
(disliked), as is indicated by the verse in which Allaah says
(interpretation of the meaning): 

“Those who take an oath not to have sexual relation with
their wives must wait for four months, then if they return (change their
idea in this period), verily, Allaah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.

227. And if they decide upon divorce, then Allaah is
All-Hearer, All-Knower”

[al-Baqarah 2:226] 

In relation to changing their minds He said “Oft-Forgiving,
Most Merciful” and in relation to divorce He said “All-Hearer,
All-Knower”. This indicates a kind of warning, which in turn indicates
that divorce is disliked by Allaah (makrooh).  

But there may be some cases in which divorce is inevitable,
and even essential. In the case which you mention, divorce may be the
appropriate solution, because it is unthinkable that a wife would treat her
husband in such a bad way as you describe in your question. A woman could
say or do something to offend her husband, but to be constantly ungrateful
is very strange.  

But before divorce, you have to try to reconcile first, and
put up with the woman. If she has some bad characteristics, you will also
find some good qualities, so you can put up with the bad characteristics
because of the good ones. 

See questions no. 20044
and 2076. 

If you can get some relatives involved to solve the problem,
then do so, as an act of mercy to this poor girl who will suffer – no matter
what the situation – from the bitterness of separation and the break-up of
the family. 

If divorce is the final solution, and you have exhausted all
possible solutions, then pray istikhaarah (asking for guidance) and consult
others, and put your trust in Allaah. 

With regard to the matters that she has referred to the
court, this may be a request to the qaadi (judge) to compel the husband to
divorce her by talaaq or it may be khula’, depending on the situation. If
she is going to give the husband some money or return the mahr to him in
return for getting a divorce, then this is khula’; if she is not going to
pay anything then this is talaaq, if it takes place. 

With regard to custody, the basic principle is that the
mother has more right to custody, so long as there is no impediment to that.
If there is any impediment, such as the mother marrying someone who is a
stranger (non-mahram) to the child, or the mother’s character or attitude is
bad, then custody passes to the mother’s mother according to the majority.
If the mother’s mother is the same (i.e., of bad character etc) then custody
passes to the father. Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah was of the view that in
the case of a dispute between the mother’s mother and the father, custody
should be given to the father, because he is closer to the child. This view
was also favoured by Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen in his commentary on the chapter
on custody in Zaad al-Mustaqni’. We have already discussed this in
detail in question no. 5234,
9463,
8189, and
21516. And Allaah knows best.

Praise be to Allah.
Firstly: 

You should note that the shaytaan is extremely keen to cause
division between a man and his wife. It is narrated in a saheeh report that
the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Iblees
places his throne on the water, then he sends out his troops, and those who
are the closest in status to him are those who cause the most tribulation
(fitnah). One of them comes and says, ‘I did such and such,’ and he says,
‘You have not done anything.’ Then one of them comes and says, ‘I did not
leave him alone until I caused division between him and his wife.’ Then he
brings him close to him and says, ‘How good you are.’” Narrated by Muslim,
5023. 

In order for the shaytaan to reach this objective of his,
there are many methods he uses to reach a man, one of which is creating
doubt about his wife’s chastity. 

Secondly: 

You should also note that the fact that a woman does not
bleed the first time she has intercourse does not necessarily mean that the
woman has been unchaste, because the hymen may be elastic and there is no
bleeding when intercourse takes place, as has been stated by doctors.  

It may also be broken for many reasons other than
intercourse, such as sports, jumping and so on. 

Moreover, the blood that is usually expected may be only one
or two drops, and this blood may come out mixed with other secretions, so
the man does not see it because it is not visible. 

For all of these reasons and others, it is not permissible
for a man to doubt his wife’s chastity because she does not bleed when he
first has intercourse with her. The fact that there is no bleeding does not
mean that she is not chaste, just as the presence of bleeding does not mean
that she is chaste, because some women have surgery to repair the hymen. 

If your wife is a chaste woman and is religiously committed
and of good character, then you should not let the shaytaan have any way of
getting to you and spoiling your life. Seek refuge with Allaah from the
accursed shaytaan, and do not doubt your wife without any clear proof. 

May Allaah bless you both, and join you together in goodness,
and divert the plot of the shaytaan away from you. 

See also the answer to question no.
40278 for more
information. 

And Allaah knows best.