Category: Muamalah

Praise be to Allah.Firstly: 
We ask Allah, may He be exalted, to relieve your distress and worry and to protect you from falling into the way that leads to doom and destruction and slipping into sin, for He is able to do whatever He wills. 
Listen to this divine call (interpretation of the meaning): 
“Say: O ‘Ibaadi (My slaves) who have transgressed against themselves (by committing evil deeds and sins)! Despair not of the Mercy of Allah, verily, Allah forgives all sins. Truly, He is Oft‑Forgiving, Most Merciful” [al-Zumar 39:53] 
Listen to the call of Allah to His believing slaves (interpretation of the meaning): 
“O you who believe! Turn to Allah with sincere repentance! It may be that your Lord will expiate from you your sins, and admit you into Gardens under which rivers flow (Paradise)” [al-Tahreem 66:8] 
Allah accepts the repentance of His slaves, as He says (interpretation of the meaning): 
“And He it is Who accepts repentance from His slaves, and forgives sins, and He knows what you do” [al-Shoora 42:25] 
What is it that made you leave your family and travel to a kaafir land and live there? No one can trust himself even in a Muslim country because there are so many doubts and whims and desires! 
So how about in a land where anything goes, and where the doors to sin are open wide? 
Because of that, and because of his keenness to protect his ummah from falling into the like of that which you have fallen into – we ask Allah to keep you safe – the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) forbade living among the kuffaar and settling in their lands. He said: “I disavow myself of any Muslim who settles among the mushrikeen.” Narrated by Abu Dawood (2645) and al-Tirmidhi (1604); classed as saheeh by al-Albani in Irwa’ al-Ghaleel (1207).  
Settling in a kaafir country is unhealthy and hard, a life of anxiety and stress. Their life – I mean the people of that land – is an unbearable hell, by their own admission, because they have lost spiritual discipline and the connection with God; their life has become purely materialistic. Mental illness has become widespread among them, and they have resorted, in many cases, to exiting from this life by means of suicide. 
Secondly: 
Our advice to you is to look for the reasons why your family took this attitude towards you and refused everyone who came to propose marriage to you. Try to find out what it is and try to do something about it, so that you will be able to resolve the matter and come up with an appropriate solution so that you will be able to reconcile with your family.  
If that is not possible and things remain as they are, and you find out that the reasons that have come between you and your family are not legitimate, then in that case your guardian is the ruler or the shar’i qaadi (judge). Since you are living in a country where there is no Islamic legal system and it is not a Muslim country, there is nothing wrong with the director of one of the Islamic centres or the imam of one of the mosques acting as your wali. See the answer to question no. 7989.  
Thirdly: 
If you feel that you have sinned because of what you have done in the past, and have turned back to Allah and repented sincerely, meaning that you regret what you did and resolve not to go back to it, and give up the sin, and ask for forgiveness, and do a lot of good deeds, that will make up for what you did and will purify you. Allah says (interpretation of the meaning): 
“But whosoever repents after his crime and does righteous good deeds (by obeying Allah), then verily, Allah will pardon him (accept his repentance). Verily, Allah is Oft‑Forgiving, Most Merciful” [al-Maa’idah 5:39] 
“And verily, I am indeed forgiving to him who repents, believes (in My Oneness, and associates none in worship with Me) and does righteous good deeds, and then remains constant in doing them (till his death)” [Ta-Ha 20:82] 
“And whosoever repents and does righteous good deeds; then verily, he repents towards Allah with true repentance” [al-Furqaan 25:71] 
Whoever turns away from sin and turns to his Lord and submits to Him, Allah will accept his repentance and make the consequences good, and He will make him one of those who inherit Paradise. Allah says (interpretation of the meaning): 
“Then, there has succeeded them a posterity who have given up As‑Salât (the prayers) [i.e. made their Salât (prayers) to be lost, either by not offering them or by not offering them perfectly or by not offering them in their proper fixed times] and have followed lusts. So they will be thrown in Hell.
60. Except those who repent and believe (in the Oneness of Allah and His Messenger Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him), and work righteousness. Such will enter Paradise and they will not be wronged in aught”
[Maryam 19:59-60] 
Repentance opens a new door from which he may start a new life, filled with faith, ihsaan and hope. 
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “The one who repents is like one who did not sin.” Narrated by Ibn Maajah (4250); classed as hasan by al-Albani. 
I advise you not to tell him about that, because after repenting it is as if it never happened. Start a new life with him, filled with hope, love and happiness, and surrounded with worship, piety and righteousness, following true guidance. Our advice to you is to hasten to marry this young man, because his getting in touch with you and forming a relationship before marriage is haram, and may open the door to temptation. We ask Allah to protect us from slipping. 
And Allah knows best.

Praise be to Allah.It should be noted, first
of all, that Allaah has enjoined you to respect your parents and to treat
them kindly in word and in deed, and He has forbidden you to treat them
badly or say to them “Uff” (a word of disrespect). 
Allaah says (interpretation
of the meaning): 
“And your Lord has
decreed that you worship none but Him. And that you be dutiful to your
parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age in your life, say not
to them a word of disrespect, nor shout at them but address them in terms of
honour”
[al-Isra’ 17:23]
It was narrated that Abu
Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: A man came to the Messenger
of Allaah (S) and said: Which of the people is most deserving of my good
companionship? He said: “Your mother.” He said: Then who? He said: “Then
your mother.” He said: Then who? He said: “Then your mother.” He said: Then
who? He said: “Then your father.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari (5626) and Muslim
(2548). 
Hence you must stop your
mistreatment and saying that she is insane, because that is not appropriate,
and you should treat her in a kind and loving manner, and do not disobey her
commands so long as there is no sin involved. It is not permissible for you
to shun her and stop talking to her. If she does that then try hard to
reconcile with her by speaking kindly and doing kind deeds to her. 
It should be noted,
secondly, that it is not permissible for you to accuse a specific person of
having bewitched you, so how about if the person you accuse is your mother?
By doing that, you are accusing her of committing a major sin that may reach
the level of kufr. It is not permissible for you to do this even if the one
whom you accuse is a stranger to you, so how about if you are attributing
that reprehensible action to your mother with no proof or evidence? The
punishment for wronging others is severe, so how about one who wrongs his
own mother? 
Allaah says (interpretation
of the meaning): 
“And those who annoy
believing men and women undeservedly, they bear (on themselves) the crime of
slander and plain sin”
[al-Ahzaab 33:58]
Ibn Katheer (may Allaah
have mercy on him) said:  
The words “And those who
annoy believing men and women undeservedly” mean: by attributing to them
things of which they are innocent, that they have not done. 
“they bear (on
themselves) the crime of slander and plain sin” means, this is an
obvious lie, to say or narrate of the believing men and women things that
they did not do, by way of criticizing them. 
Tafseer Ibn Katheer,
6/480. 
It was narrated from Jaabir
ibn ‘Abd-Allaah that the Messenger of Allaah (S) said:  “Beware of
injustice, for injustice will be darkness on the Day of Resurrection.”
Narrated by Muslim (2578). 
Al-Nawawi (may Allaah have
mercy on him) said: 
Al-Qaadi said: It was said
that this means what it appears to mean, and it will be darkness for a
person who will not be able to find a way on the Day of Resurrection when
the light of the believers appears before them and on their right. And it
may be that darkness here refers to hardship, which is how they interpreted
the verse in which Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “Say (O
Muhammad صلى الله عليه وسلم): Who
rescues you from the darkness of the land and the sea” [al-An’aam 6:63],
i.e. hardships.  And it may be that it refers to punishment. 
Sharh Muslim
(16/134). 
It should be noted,
thirdly, that you may not have been bewitched, and it may all be illusions
and imagination. This happens to a lot of people, who believe that they have
been bewitched when that is not the case. So strive to obey your Lord by
performing obligatory and supererogatory duties, and strive to honour your
mother. Always read Qur’aan and try to recite the adhkaar for morning and
evening. These things, in sha Allaah, will protect you from evil and help
you to recover from your mental and psychological illnesses. 
And Allaah is the source of
strength.

Praise be to Allah.
Firstly: 

Raising the children is a responsibility that is shared
between both parent. If there is a conflict or shortcoming in their
upbringing, that has a bad effect on the children, who will develop a bad
attitude and will be lost. Hence it is obligatory for the parents to raise
their children well and not to have any conflicts or shortcomings,
especially in front of the children. They should agree on the Islamic
educational means they will use to deal with their children’s mistakes. If
one parents thinks that there should be consequences for wrongdoing, but the
other disagrees and thinks that they should be easy-going, they should
discuss it and come to some agreement, so that the child will realize that
they have agreed to be easy-going because of the intercession of one parent,
so that he will have another chance to set himself straight. But if one of
them objects to the other in front of the child and speaks harshly and with
bad manners, this is wrong and will have a bad effect on the children.  

The fact that the responsibility in raising children is
shared between the father and mother is indicated by the following: 

1 –Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“O you who believe! Ward off yourselves and your families
against a Fire (Hell) whose fuel is men and stones, over which are
(appointed) angels stern (and) severe, who disobey not, (from executing) the
Commands they receive from Allaah, but do that which they are commanded”

[al-Tahreem 66:6]

2 – It was narrated that ‘Abd-Allaah ibn ‘Umar (may Allaah be
pleased with him) said: I heard the Messenger of Allaah (peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him) say: “Each of you is a shepherd and each of
you is responsible for his flock. The ruler of the people is a shepherd and
is responsible for his flock. A man is the shepherd of his household and is
responsible for his flock. A woman is the shepherd of her husband’s house
and children and is responsible for her flock. The slave is the shepherd of
his master’s wealth and is responsible for it. Each of you is a shepherd and
each of you is responsible for his flock.”  

Narrated by al-Bukhaari (853) and Muslim (1829). 

See also the answer to question no.
10016 for more
information. 

Secondly: 

The father’s responsibility for raising his child should be
his first priority. The man has wisdom, experience and strength and he can
speak with others to find the best means to raise his child. The salaf
(early generations of Islam) were very keen to be directly involved in
raising and disciplining their children. It is narrated that the ‘Abbaasi
caliph al-Mansoor sent word to those of Banu Umayyah who were in prison to
ask them: What is the hardest thing for you in this prison? They said: What
we have missed out on of raising our children. 

Some fathers think that raising their children and fulfilling
this trust is achieved by giving them food, drink, clothing and shelter, but
this is a false notion that is far removed from the laws of Allaah. 

Shaykh Ibn Baaz (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:  

Treating daughters and the like kindly means giving them an
Islamic education, teaching them and raising them to follow the truth,
striving to keep them chaste and keeping them away from that which Allaah
has forbidden of wanton display and the like,  as also applies to raising
sisters and male children, and other kinds of kind treatment, so that
everyone will be raised to be obedient to Allaah and His Messenger and to
keep away from that which Allaah has forbidden, and to do their duty towards
Allaah, may He be glorified and exalted. Hence it is known that what is
meant by kind treatment is not just providing food, drink and clothing,
rather the meaning is more general than that and includes treating them
kindly in both religious and worldly terms. 

Majmoo’ Fataawa wa Maqaalaat al-Shaykh Ibn Baaz
(4/377) 

Thirdly: 

The most important thing on which you should focus is
teaching your children sound Islamic belief (‘aqeedah), the rulings of
sharee’ah and good morals. This is more important than anything else, but it
does not mean that they should not study other worldly sciences, so long
as the study environment is acceptable and there is no mixing with girls or
studying in Christian missionary schools or studying kaafir (non-Muslim)or corrupt
material. 

In Fatwa no. 4172, issued on 4/12/1401 AH by the Standing
Committee for Academic Research and Issuing Fatwas in the Kingdom of Saudi
Arabia, it says: 

Fourthly: All Muslims must pay attention to teaching
children, both male and female, true Islam with its beliefs, rulings, morals
and etiquette. It is not permissible for educational programs to be devoid of that or to mix  Islamic teachings with any other false beliefs, views or
opinions. 

Fifthly: Every Muslim should realize that Allaah has
appointed him as a shepherd and that Allaah will ask him about this trust
that He has given to him. If he has fulfilled it in the best possible way
and has been sincere, then praise be to Allaah, but if it is otherwise then
he has no one to blame but himself. Allaah says (interpretation of the
meaning):  “O you who believe! Ward off yourselves and your families
against a Fire (Hell) whose fuel is men and stones” [al-Tahreem 966:6].
And the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Each
of you is a shepherd and each of you is responsible for his flock.” And he
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) also said: “There is no one
whom Allaah appoints in charge of a flock and he dies being insincere
towards his flock, but Allaah will forbid paradise to him.” End quote. 

This responsibility should be shared with regard to teaching
and guiding, each according to his abilities, and Allaah does not burden any
soul beyond its scope. It is not permissible for the father to throw the
burden of teaching the child on the mother’s shoulders and then become a
mere spectator or become heedless about his child’s upbringing nor is it
permissible for the mother to do the same thing. It is a shared
responsibility to discipline and teach the child. If the father is working
hard and the mother has no other job, then her share of the burden will be
heavier, and vice versa. They should consult one another and discuss matters
so that the mission will be fulfilled in the best possible way, but the
basic principle with regard to discipline is that the one who is in charge
and bears most responsibility is the father, not the mother.

Shaykh Muhammad ibn Saalih al-‘Uthaymeen (may Allaah have
mercy on him) said: 

Sons and daughters have a shepherd to take care of them, when
they are small, and the one who takes care of them and directs their affairs
is their father or older brother. “The man is the shepherd of his household
and is responsible for his flock.” Guardians and shepherds of households
must direct their families to worship Allaah and to be keen to seek
knowledge. They should encourage their children and say, “Come, my son, what have you memorized (of Qur’aan) today? Recite to me what you have
memorized,” so that he will be encouraged and he will know that there is
someone following up on him. The same may be said of daughters: encourage
them and teach them to seek knowledge and act upon it. Be approachable, do
not be like some fathers who are like planks of wood in their houses, they
do not do anything. Each man is responsible for his family and flock. 

Al-Liqa’ al-Shahri (67). 

Fourthly: 

We advise our sister not to go out of her house except with
the permission and approval of her husband, not even to learn or teach
Qur’aan, because obedience to one’s husband is obligatory and going out of
the house without one’s husband’s permission is haram (impermissible). Putting pressure on
him to make him let her go out is also not permissible. Do not open a door
to evil by going out in this way. You can divide your time between teaching
your son and learning yourself. Then convince your husband of this division
of time. We think that he will appreciate this move on your part and it will
be a means of working out both issues. 

You should note that your husband is not sinning by preventing you from going out to halaqahs (circles of learning)for memorizing Qur’aan. It is a sin only if he prevents you from going out to pray in the mosque or to learn essential knowledge that you cannot learn at home. Allaah has made it easy for people to learn, a woman can read books or listen to tapes on all kinds of knowledge. There is nothing to prevent her from benefiting from modern means of learning. She will never get more by going out than she will get in
her house, if she wants that. You could also hold a halaqah for sisters to
memorize Qur’aan and seek knowledge in your own house, with no need to go
out. 

Whatever the case, do whatever you can to help take care of
your son and teach him, treat your husband kindly and do what Allaah has
enjoined upon you towards him, and you will see that bear fruits for
yourself, your husband and your children, in sha Allaah. 

Fifthly: 

Our advice to the husband is also to treat his wife kindly.
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The best
of you is the best of you to his wife.” Narrated by al-Tirmidhi (3895);
classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Silsilat al-Ahaadeeth al-Saheehah
(385). 

If he thinks that her going out to the daar al-tahfeez is
beneficial for her, and this benefit extends to her children and to the
household as a whole, then why would he deprive her of that goodness? It is
also affecting the relationship between him and her because she thinks that
he is denying her something that would be beneficial for her. The life
between them should be based on mutual understanding and shared
responsibility, and keenness on the part of both for that which benefits the
other. 

You (the husband) should understand that your trying to make
your wife happy and helping her in something that does not constitute
disobedience towards Allaah will bring benefits to you and your children
too. We ask Allaah to join you together in goodness and to help you both to
do that which will benefit you in this world and in the Hereafter. 

Sixthly: 

There follow some comments by experts in the field explaining
the shared role of the father and mother in raising and teaching children: a
mother said, objecting: why does the husband accuse his wife of falling
short and neglect if the son does not achieve high grades, when he himself
is forgetting his duties that are essential with regard to this matter? 

Dr. Muhammad Abu Daff, a professor of education in the
Islamic University of Gaza said:  

Both the father and the mother have to cooperate with regard
to this matter. The father should make up for the shortcomings that the
mother cannot because she is too busy or because she does not have
sufficient knowledge of that particular subject. 

Dr. Abu Daff emphasized the importance of fathers playing an
effective role in following up on their children’s studies so that they will
feel that it is important. 

He attributed the reason why fathers try to evade
responsibility to some negative ideas in their mind which says that the
educational role is part of the mother’s job like any other job within the
home, and he continued: This is a grievous error, because this educational
responsibility needs the cooperation of both spouses. The father has to
understand that his role is not only outside the house in order to provide
food and the necessities of life, rather he has an important role to play in
the house as well, which includes teaching the children. It is not to be
taken lightly. 

And he urged fathers to understand this point and to realize their responsibilities in this area so as to avoid conflicts that may have a bad effect on the family and the children. 

Professor Usaamah al-Muzayni, a lecturer in the College of
Education in the Islamic University, said: The father has to follow up on
his children’s studies and make it an important priority. 

He also said: Your wife is your life partner, and by taking
the responsibility of teaching the children and following up on their schoolwork, you will have fulfilled your role in their shared
responsibility. Otherwise ask yourself: What is my role? Remember that there is something more important that just providing material comforts to children, and that is to take an interest in their academic future.  

And Allaah knows best.

Praise be to Allah.Firstly: 
When reading this letter,
although we feel sad about what is mentioned in it, we feel happy when we
read of this sister’s common sense, intelligence and good following of the
Sunnah, and that she is upset at the presence of bid’ah and she is afraid of
falling into sin by disobeying her father who is telling her to go to the
place where these innovations are practised. She is also thinking of leaving
home but she is worried about her brother and sister and is afraid that she
will be going against sharee’ah if she does not have a mahram with her. All
of this, and she is a new Muslim. We ask Allaah by His names and attributes
to make her and her siblings steadfast in adhering to the truth, and guide
her family to follow the Sunnah. 
Secondly: 
We say to the sister who is
asking this question: 

1.Undoubtedly attending these
gatherings with their innovations and sins is regarded as something that is
contrary to sharee’ah. Those innovators are not content with merely
mentioning the names of Allaah in song and dance, rather they had added
other sins, namely failing to offer the prayers on time. This indicates that
their claim that they are worshipping Allaah and drawing close to Him is
false. If they were sincere in their desire to draw close to Him, they would
worship in the ways that He has prescribed, and they would not miss the
prayer, which is the greatest practical pillar of Islam. The texts of the
Qur’aan and Sunnah issue stern warnings to those who do not offer the prayer
on time and those who neglect the prayer.

2.It is well known in sharee’ah
that attending such gatherings incurs a great deal of sin and leads to many
negative consequences, but there may be some interest to be served by
delaying one’s refusal to go, because that delay may bring benefits and ward
off harms.

3.One of the interests served by
your continuing to go now is taking care of your brother and sister and
making sure that there is someone with them who can guide them and explain
to them what is wrong with these actions. Another interest that will be
served is making sure that your non-attendance will not lead to your father
throwing you out of the house, which is something that would lead to many
evils and bad consequences, the extent of which no one knows but Allaah,
especially in the country where you live and even in other countries.

4.We think that you could
continue to go, but go as little as you can, and make up some excuses that
will be acceptable to your father for not going, as well as trying hard to
bring in wise people of Ahl al-Sunnah who can explain the truth to your
father.

5.A person such as you will not
be deceived, in sha Allaah, by what these ignorant innovators are doing.
Neverthless we advise you to protect your faith by doing acts of worship and
increasing your knowledge by reading and studying the books of Ahl
al-Sunnah. This will be beneficial for you. And ask trustworthy people of
Ahl al-Sunnah about everything that is not clear to you, and remember that
you have to keep advising and teaching and guiding your siblings. You should
also try to influence some of the other girls who attend these gatherings
and call them to the truth and the right path.

6.If you go there, we advise you
to avoid these gatherings as much as you can, by sitting with the women in a
separate room far away from these innovations and deviations. Be the last to
enter and the first to leave, as much as you can.

7.We advise you to sit with your
father and discuss with him what he is telling you to do, and to try to
convince him about these innovators. You are at an age where you can do that
with him. And you have enough knowledge to convince him in sha Allaah.

8.Always pray for your father and
advise him, and treat him well all the time, for “there is no kindness in a
thing but it adorns it, and it is not taken away from a thing but it makes
it defective” as the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon
him) said.
We ask Allaah to help you
to do that which He loves and which pleases Him, and to make you steadfast
in adhering to the truth, and to guide your father to the truth. 
And Allaah is the Source of
strength.

Praise be to Allah.
A common mistake is for each spouse to tell the other
everything about their previous lives before marriage, on the grounds that
they should not leave anything of their past lives untold to their new loves
and should be completely frank and open, so their relationship will have a
strong foundation with nothing to affect it. 

Real life has shown this idea to be a failure, because in
most cases the spouses cannot stand this. If they put up with it at the
beginning when the intensity of new love prevents an immediate reaction,
then when love cools down things that were hidden begin to appear and affect
their lives and make things difficult for them. Then problems begin to
appear and the flames of jealousy begin to burn and the relationship begins
to break down.  

Whatever happened before you got married is over and belongs
in the past, and no one among people should know of it no matter what his
status or how close he is to you. If it was a sin and you have repented with
all the conditions of repentance, it is between you and Allaah, may He be
glorified and exalted, because repentance is what erases whatever sins come
before it, not telling the husband. 

One of the conditions of repentance is regretting what has
happened, giving up the sin and resolving not to go back to it. And you
should also do a lot of good deeds and pray for forgiveness, to make up for
what you have missed. 

And the believer is enjoined to conceal himself. 

The Messenger (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon
him) said: “Avoid these reprehensible things which Allaah has forbidden, but
whoever has done any of them, let him conceal himself with the concealment
of Allaah.” Narrated by al-Haakim and classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in
Saheeh al-Jaami’ (149). 

Al-Bukhaari (6069) narrated from Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be
pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be
upon him) said: “All of my ummah will be fine except those who commit sin
openly. It is part of committing sin openly for a man to do something at
night then in the morning, when Allaah has concealed him, he says: ‘O So and
so, I did such and such last night,’ when all night his Lord had concealed
him, but the next day he discloses what Allaah had concealed for him.” 

What you have mentioned about your love for your husband,
which is the basis for married life, is a good start and a solid foundation
for solving the differences that exist between you, in sha Allaah. 

Show your husband this love in real terms, by showing you
care about him. Change your attitude towards him, change yourself, your
appearance, your house, make a real change. 

Perhaps he is bored of routine and the rhythm of daily life
in which there is no change.  

Try to attract his attention to you, your house and your
daughter in all the ways that you can, but beware of complaining or showing
that you are unhappy about some of his private affairs because that would be
an obstacle to reaching an understanding between you. 

Adopt the etiquette of Islam and beware of being
hot-tempered, because the Messenger (peace and blessings of Allaah be
upon him) advised against getting angry. 

Al-Bukhaari (6116) narrated from Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be
pleased with him) that a man said to the Prophet (peace and blessings
of Allaah be upon him): Advise me. He said: “Do not get angry.” He repeated
it several times, saying: “Do not get angry.” 

We are also enjoined to guard our tongues. The Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said when he was advising
Mu’aadh (may Allaah be pleased with him): “Restrain this,” i.e., your
tongue. I said: O Messenger of Allaah, will we be called to account for what
we say? He said: “May your mother be bereft of you, O Mu’aadh! Will people
be thrown in Hell on their faces or their noses for anything other than the
harvest of their tongues?” Narrated by al-Tirmidhi; classed as saheeh by
al-Albaani in Silsilat al-Ahaadeeth al-Saheehah (772). 

What you have mentioned about your being hot-tempered and
sharp-tongued are things that lead to destruction and destroy the basis of
family life. 

Perhaps these are the reason why your husband has turned away
from you. Perhaps he finds with this family and other people the respect and
good manners that he does not find with you, and that has made him resort to
what he is doing. 

So try to change the way you behave and control yourself.
Turn to Allaah and pray that you and he be guided and develop a good
attitude and proper etiquette, for Allaah is Ever-Near, Most Responsive. 

I ask Allaah, may He be glorified and exalted, to bring you
together and may He help us and you to do that which He loves and which
pleases Him. 
And Allaah knows
best.

Praise be to Allah.
Firstly: 

We ask Allaah to guide your children and to reward you with
the best of rewards for your concern and care and for advising them and
teaching and guiding those for whom Allaah has made you responsible. 

It should be noted that raising children is difficult and
that it requires knowledge and wisdom, patience and forbearance. Children –
both male and female – go through different stages as they grow, and each
stage has its own problems. You have to understand this and pay attention to
it before starting to solve your son’s problem and his stopping memorizing
Qur’aan. 

Secondly: 

Parents should not give up their responsibility of guiding
their children just because of some incident that happens with one of them.
They should not stop guiding them and caring for them. The man is a shepherd
of his family and he will be responsible for them on the Day of
Resurrection. His flock – his wife and children – are a trust which Allaah
warns against neglecting and failing to take care of properly. 

Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):  

“O you who believe! Ward off yourselves and your families
against a Fire”

[al-Tahreem 66:6]

“Truly, We did offer Al‑Amaanah (the trust or moral
responsibility or honesty and all the duties which Allaah has ordained) to
the heavens and the earth, and the mountains, but they declined to bear it
and were afraid of it (i.e. afraid of Allaah’s Torment). But man bore it.
Verily, he was unjust (to himself) and ignorant (of its results)”

[al-Ahzaab 33:72]
It was narrated that
‘Abd-Allaah ibn ‘Umar said: I heard the Messenger of Allaah (peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him) say: “Each of you is a shepherd and each of
you is responsible for his flock. The ruler of the people is a shepherd and
is responsible for his flock. A man is the shepherd of his household and is
responsible for his flock. A woman is the shepherd of her husband’s house
and children and is responsible for her flock. The slave is the shepherd of
his master’s wealth and is responsible for it. Each of you is a shepherd and
each of you is responsible for his flock.” 

Narrated by al-Bukhaari (853) and Muslim (1829). 

Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:  

The one who neglects to teach his son that which will benefit
him and leaves him to his own devices has wronged him severely. Most
children only become corrupt because of their parents and their neglect of
them, and their failure to teach them the obligatory duties and sunnahs of
Islam. They neglect them when they are young then they are not able to
benefit themselves or their parents when they grow up. 

Tuhfat al-Mawdood (p. 229). 

Thirdly: 

What your son has done by ceasing to memorize Qur’aan and
lead the prayer may be understood in two ways:  

1 – That he is sincere in what he is saying, which is what
seems to us to be the case. In that case you must advise him and guide him
in the way that is best, and make him understand that there is no
contradiction between what you are telling him to do and having a sincere
intention. He can correct his intention if it was not right, and correcting
it is better for him in this world and in the Hereafter than giving up the
action altogether. You should also make him understand that the methods that
the shaytaan uses to stop the Muslim doing acts of worship and continuing in
them include whispering to him that his intention is not sound, and that he
is not doing it for the sake of Allaah, so that this Muslim will give up his
act of worship if he has started it, or he will refrain from starting it and
doing it if he had not started it, and thus the shaytaan will have attained
what he wanted. 

You can ask your son this: What will he do with his children
when Allaah blesses him with children and he is responsible for them on the
Day of Resurrection? Undoubtedly – in sha Allaah – he will answer by saying
that he will tell them to do that which is to their benefit, and encourage
them to obey and worship Allaah, which includes memorizing Qur’aan and
prayer. If he is honest with you and gives you this answer, then he will
have committed himself, and given evidence against himself, and this is what
you yourself have done with him. 

We advise you not to criticize him too much, and to discuss
with him. You can go to a scholar or seeker of knowledge whom he trusts to
discuss the matter with him, and hear something from someone other than you
who has knowledge that will put his mind at rest. You do not have to be the
one who advises him, changes his mind and convinces him, rather you should
delegate that to someone else, so that he will do that on the basis of being
pleased with what he has heard. 

We also advise you to stop your shunning of him straight
away, and stop refusing to treat him kindly. Right now he is in the greatest
need of you and your compassion. He is suffering
from something that the imams and scholars also suffered from, which is the
issue of intention (niyyah). Imam Sufyaan al-Thawri (may Allaah have mercy
on him) said: I have never dealt with anything more difficult than my
intention. So beware of forsaking him, and beware of being too harsh with
him, lest you lose him forever. We ask Allaah not to let that happen. 

2 – The second possibility is that he is lying, in which case
you have to find out whether your son has been affected by the sickness of
loss of interest and ambition. There are many causes for these sicknesses,
including the following:  

(i)Influence of bad friends

(ii)Too many duties in school and
at home, so that he feels overwhelmed and gives up on some of them.

(iii)Finding the Qur’aan
memorization program too heavy, which has led to him becoming tired and
bored.

(iv)Not having the chance to relax
in permissible ways, such as going on trips, playing games, and watching
beneficial shows. Some fathers are too keen for their children not to pay
any attention to these things that allow for relaxation and bring more
energy for worship and obedience.

(v)Reaching the stage of puberty
and adolescence, which is a dangerous stage in a young man’s life. Parents
must pay attention to their sons when they reach this age, and treat their
sons as men, not children, and lightening up on the things they tell them to
do. The stage of persuasion and understanding should begin, which is totally
different from when they were small.

What we have mentioned are some of the possible causes. You
know what is really going on, whether he is telling the truth or lying.
Hence we said that raising children is difficult, and needs knowledge and
wisdom, patience and forbearance. It is not a simple matter, especially with
all the corrupt influences, distractions and the war against virtue,
chastity and righteousness that is being waged inside and outside.  

Look for the reason why he has stopped memorizing Qur’aan and
given up his commitment. If he is telling the truth, then we have mentioned
above is the way to deal with it. If he is lying, then check on the
possibilities that we have mentioned, and seek the help of Allaah, asking
Him to guide you and help you. And do not forget to pray for your son, for
he is more in need of that than you. 

This is the experience of a famous Qur’aan reader – Shaykh
Muhammad Siddeeq al-Manshaawi (d. 1388 AH). Read what his son Muhammad
al-Shaafa’i wrote about him and the way he took care of his children and
taught them to memorize Qur’aan. 

Professor Muhammad Husayn Ibraaheem al-Rantaawi said: 

Al-Shaafa’i Muhammad Siddeeq – the name of the shaykh’s son –
spoke of the methods of guiding and directing the children that his father
followed and said: My father was very keen that we should do the obligatory
duties, and he would often take us with him to the mosques where he read
Qur’aan. That was an opportunity for me to visit and get to know most of the
mosques of Egypt. He would also keep an eye on us when we chose our friends,
and he would insist that they come from religiously-committed families of
good character, and join his children in studying, and he would help them to
do their homework and attend parents’ meetings in the schools that his
children went to. During the summer holidays, he had us take part in sports
such as swimming and archery during the day, and at night he would read to
us the religious books that were suited to our age. Then when one of us had
acquired the habit of reading, he would supply him with books and encourage
him to read more. Before all of that came memorization of Qur’aan, so that
even the one who had been left out because he was too small was encouraged
by his father Shaykh Siddeeq to memorize Qur’aan, and he did that. End
quote.  

Article entitled Muqri’ al-Sahwah al-Islamiyyah
al-Mu’aasirah al-Qaari’ al-Shaykh Muhammad Siddeeq al-Manshaawi
(1920-1969 CE).

Al-Firqaan magazine, published
by Jama’iyyah al-Muhaafizah ‘ala al-‘Qur’aan, Jordan, issue no. 41, Jumaada
al-Oola 1426 AH, 2005 CE. 

Fourthly: 

To this son of yours, whom we ask Allaah to help and guide to
that which He loves and which pleases Him, we say: 

You should understand first of all that this devilish trick
to block people from following the way of Allaah has been known since
ancient times. The accursed one wants to prevent people from doing good
whenever he finds a way to do that, and he comes to each person in the way
that is appropriate. 

Hence al-Fudayl ibn ‘Iyaad (may Allaah be pleased with him)
said: 

Refraining from doing an action because of the people is
showing off, and doing it because of the people is shirk. Sincerity is when
Allaah protects you against both. 

Al-Adhkaar by al-Nawawi (18). 

It was narrated that al-Haarith ibn Qays al-Ja’fi said: If
you are doing something that has to do with the Hereafter then continue and
if you are doing something that has to do with this world then be careful.
If you intend to something good then do not delay it, and if the shaytaan
comes to you when you are praying and says ‘You are showing off,’ then make
it longer. Narrated by Imam Ahmad in al-Zuhd (430), with a saheeh
isnaad. 

Undoubtedly you know the status of Shaykh Muhammad ibn Saalih
al-‘Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on him), and we think that you know
that he is one of the trustworthy scholars. We believe that you respect and
admire him, and we would never misquote the Shaykh. We will let you read
what he said about a problem similar to yours and we hope that you will pay
attention to his answer and act upon it, because that will bring you
happiness and goodness in this world and in the Hereafter. 

Shaykh Muhammad ibn Saalih al-‘Uthaymeen (may Allaah have
mercy on him) was asked: 

What is your advice to a seeker of knowledge who has worked
hard to correct his intention and to be sincere, but he could not manage to
do that? He is afraid that the ahaadeeth which carry a stern warning
addressed to the one whose intention is not sincerely for the sake of Allaah
alone will apply to him, and he will soon stop seeking knowledge. Please
advise us, may you be rewarded. 

He replied: 

This is an importance question for the seeker of knowledge,
for knowledge is one of the best and greatest acts of worship, which Allaah
has made equivalent to jihad for His sake, as He says, may He be blessed and
exalted (interpretation of the meaning): 

“And it is not (proper) for the believers to go out to
fight (Jihad) all together. Of every troop of them, a party only should go
forth, that they (who are left behind) may get instructions in (Islamic)
religion, and that they may warn their people when they return to them, so
that they may beware (of evil)”

[al-Tawbah 9:122]

Allaah tells us that the believers cannot all go out to fight
in jihad for the sake of Allaah; rather a few from every group should learn
the principles of the religion of Allaah, so that they may warn their people
when they return in order that they may beware (of evil), and the others
should fight for the sake of Allaah.  

And the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon
him) said: “When Allaah wills good for a person, He causes him to understand
the religion.” If a person thinks that Allaah has caused him to understand
his religion, then he should accept the glad tidings that Allaah has willed
good for him, and he must be sincere in his intention towards Allaah when
seeking knowledge, by having the following intentions in his pursuit
thereof: 

Firstly: Obeying the command of Allaah, may He be blessed and
exalted, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “So know (O
Muhammad صلى الله عليه وسلم) that Laa
ilaaha illAllaah (none has the right to be worshipped but Allaah” [Muhammad
47:19]. Al-Bukhaari (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: He started with
knowledge, before words or deeds. 

Secondly:  He should intend by his learning to preserve the
laws of Allaah, for sharee’ah is preserved in people’s hearts and in books. 

Thirdly: he should intend by his learning to protect the
sharee’ah of Allaah against its enemies, because its enemies have been
trying to undermine it since the Messenger (peace and blessings of
Allaah be upon him) was sent and they will carry on trying to do so until
the Hour begins. So by seeking knowledge let him intend to protect the great
sharee’ah. 

Fourthly: He should intend thereby to defend sharee’ah if
anyone attacks it, and in that case he must learn the weapons with which he
will defend his knowledge. Rather we say that he should focus on the issues
concerning which the enemies of Allaah try to cause confusion, and tackle
each issue in the manner that befits it. People vary with regard to this
matter. Some people may try to cause confusion about ‘aqeedah, so one needs
to learn ‘aqeedah by means of which he can ward off false beliefs. Some
people may attack Islam by means of bad manners, so he has to learn good
manners and learn the consequences of bad manners, and so on.  

Fifthly: The seeker of knowledge must also intend by his
pursuit of knowledge to worship Allaah in the manner that Allaah approves
of, because without learning a man cannot know how to worship Allaah whether
that is in his wudoo’, his prayer, his charity, his fasting or his hajj. He
should also call others to Allaah with his knowledge, explaining sharee’ah
to people and calling them to adhere to it. 

In fact knowledge is one of the best acts of worship and one
of the greatest and most beneficial. Hence you will find the that Shaytaan
is keep to keep people from acquiring knowledge; he will come to a person
and tell him that he is seeking knowledge to show off, so that the people
will see him and think that he is a scholar, so he will lose interest and
will say: I should keep away from showing off? Or he will come to him and
tell him: Have the intention when seeking shar’i knowledge of making some
worldly gain, so that the warning “The one who seeks knowledge that should
be sought  for the sake of Allaah, but he does it only for some worldly
gain, will not smell the fragrance of Paradise” will apply to you. And he
comes to him with many things that will prevent him from seeking knowledge.
But one must seek refuge with Allaah from the accursed shaytaan, and go
ahead with his plans, and not pay any attention to these whispers that enter
his heart. Every time he feels that something is distracting him from
seeking knowledge – by whatever means – he should say, “A’oodhu Billaahi
min al-shaytaan il-rajeem (I seek refuge with Allaah from the accursed
satan)” and “ Allaahumma a’inni (O Allaah, help me) and so on. 

And I say to this student:

Go ahead and seek knowledge, and do not let the shaytaan
keep you from remembering Allaah or seeking knowledge. Carry on even though
you will encounter difficulty and hardship in making your intention correct,
but correcting one’s intention is something easy. Go ahead, O young man, and
seek the help of Allaah, may He be glorified and exalted, and seek refuge
with Allaah from the accursed shaytaan. 

Fataawa Noor ‘Ala al-Darb (al’Ilm),
quoting from the website of Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on
him). 

We think that there is a great deal of good in you, in sha
Allaah, and that the words of the imams of knowledge and faith, and the
advice of Shaykh al-‘Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on him) will all have
an effect on your heart, mind and life. 

You should remember that your father does not want anything
but good for you, and that every act of worship and obedience that you do is
for you and your father.  

And remember that attaining victory by the blessing of the
Qur’aan in the Hereafter will be shared between you and your parents, and
the loss caused by neglecting it will also be shared between you and them. 

It was narrated that ‘Abd-Allaah ibn ‘Umar (may Allaah be
pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of
Allaah be upon him) said: “It will be said to the companion of the Qur’aan:
Recite and rise in status, and recite as you used to recite in the world,
and your status will be at the last verse you recite.” 

Narrated by Abu Dawood (1464) and classed as saheeh by
al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi Dawood. 

It was narrated that Buraydah (may Allaah be pleased with
him) said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be
upon him) said: “Whoever reads the Qur’aan and learns it and acts upon it
will be given a crown of light to wear on the Day of Resurrection, the light
of which is like the light of the sun, and his parents will be clothed with
two suits the equivalent of which is not to be found in this world, and they
will say: Why have we been clothed with this? And it will be said: Because
your son learned the Qur’aan.” 

Narrated by al-Haakim (1/756); he said it is saheeh according
to the conditions of Muslim. Al-Albaani said It is hasan because of
corroborating evidence, as it says in Saheeh al-Targheeb. 

Goodness and happiness lie in obeying Allaah in this world,
and obeying your parents is obligatory for you. The acts of worship that you
do are not for any human being, rather they are for Allaah your Lord. We ask
Allaah to guide you and help you to do that which He loves and which pleases
Him.

And Allaah is the Source of strength.

Praise be to Allah.
The problems of Muslims in kaafir countries are innumerable
and heartbreaking. These societies and environments are not suitable for
Muslims, because their values are incompatible with Islam and its noble
principles, high moral standards and decent etiquette.

The Messenger (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon
him) warned us sternly against living in such environments and societies,
because he knew the bad effect that this would have on Muslims, with regard
to their religious commitment, morals and behaviour. He said: “I disavow
myself of any Muslim who settles among the mushrikeen.” Narrated by Abu
Dawood (2654) and al-Tirmidhi ( 1604); classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in
Irwa’ al-Ghaleel (1207). 

Your uncle’s situation – and that of many others – is the
result of settling among the kuffaar which our religion has forbidden. 

It is a great loss in this world and in the Hereafter, if
Allaah does not bestow His mercy upon him. 

You have no choice but to be patient with your uncle, for it
seems from your advice to him and his response to you that the seed of faith
is still alive in his heart, which needs your care and concern on an ongoing
basis. Always keep in mind the words of the Prophet (peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him) to ‘Ali (may Allaah be pleased with him):
“If Allaah were to guide one man at your hands, that would be better for you
than red camels (i.e., the best kind).” Narrated by al-Bukhaari (2942). 

If he stays with you in the house – and you keep advising him
and taking care of him – that is better for him than wandering the streets
and living as a vagabond, which could lead him to a bad end because of his
being far away from you. Doing the lesser of two evils and warding off one
by means of the other is what is required here. 

Treating him kindly is also part of honouring your mother and
pleasing her, so strive to call him to what is good and try to distract him
from what he is doing now. Take him to the mosque with you sometimes. We ask
Allaah, may He be glorified and exalted, to guide the Muslims who have gone
astray and to show them the right way, for He is Able to do that. 

And Allaah knows best.

Praise be to Allah.Firstly: 
We congratulate you both for repenting from the sins that you committed, which is by the grace of Allaah to you both. Allaah calls all His believing slaves to repent, as He says (interpretation of the meaning): 
“And all of you beg Allaah to forgive you all, O believers, that you may be successful”
[al-Noor 24:31]. 
You should realize that Allaah rejoices at the repentance of His slave. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Allaah rejoices more over the repentance of His slave when he repents to Him than one of you who was on his mount in the wilderness, then he lost it, and his food and drink are on it, and he despairs of finding it. He goes to a tree and lies down in its shade, having lost hope of finding his mount, and whilst he is like that, there it is standing in front of him, so he takes hold of its reins and says, because of his intense joy, ‘O Allaah, You are my slave and I am Your lord,’ making this mistake because of his intense joy.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari (5950) and Muslim (2747).  
You should realize that Allaah has promised to turn bad deeds into good deeds. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):  
“Except those who repent and believe (in Islamic Monotheism), and do righteous deeds; for those, Allaah will change their sins into good deeds, and Allaah is Oft‑Forgiving, Most Merciful”
[al-Furqaan 25:68-70]
But this depends on the repentance being sincere. The conditions thereof are:
 1.Giving up the sin
2.Regretting what one has done
3.Resolving not to go back to it.
Secondly: 
Undoubtedly what your wife did is a bad thing, but now she has repented from it, so we hope that because of her repentance she will go back to the way she was before, or become even better.
We cannot be certain that it is better for you to stay with her, but we say to you: 
If you think that her repentance is sincere, and that she deeply regrets what she did, and that she has changed for the better, and her sin will not had any negative effect such as making you doubt her and hate her, then what we think is that you should keep her, so as to maintain her repentance and protect your children from being lost. 
We hope that her case is like this, and that you will keep her in kindness, and that what she has done will not affect you, especially since you say that you also committed sins and immoral actions before Allaah enabled you to repent.  
Undoubtedly your falling short with regard to her rights played a major role in your wife’s turning against you and falling into sin, even though it does not justify what she did. You have to watch yourself and fulfil the rights that Allaah has enjoined you to give to your wife and children. 
One of her rights over you is that you should help her to repent sincerely and guide her towards good and warn her against evil. It is not permissible for you to allow her to visit those who play a role in corrupting her and leading her astray, even if they are the closest of people to you. You are a shepherd and the head of your household, and Allaah will ask you about your flock and whether you neglected them or did the duties that Allaah enjoined upon you. 
What we think is that you should conceal her sin and appreciate her repentance and stay with her. It is not diyaathah (cuckoldry) to keep her after she has repented, rather diyaathah is keeping her when she has not repented and is persisting in having haraam relationships, which is what we hope she has repented from sincerely. 
And Allaah knows best.

Praise be to Allah.Undoubtedly your wife is persisting in making a serious mistake, and we ask Allah to guide her. The most serious thing that you mention about her is the matter of her careless attitude towards prayer, because not praying leads – Allah forbid – to one becoming beyond the pale of Islam, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “What stands between a man and shirk or kufr is his giving up prayer.” (Narrated by Muslim, 82). This applies to one who does not pray at all. But some of the scholars (may Allah have mercy on them) thought that a person who fails to pray one prayer on time also becomes a kaafir. See al-Mughni, 3/354). This points to the seriousness of the matter. 
You have done your duty towards your wife by guiding and advising her, and this has borne fruit. Even though it may be incomplete, it is still a positive step which indicates that there is goodness in your wife and that she is prepared to change the rest. Yes, that may be slow but it is possible. You see that in the beginning she was not convinced of hijaab and did not wear it at all, but after the noble efforts on your part she has started to wear it partially. Even though it is not full hijaab as it should be worn, it still gives us hope and points to hidden goodness in her. You can bring it to the surface so that she will wear proper hijaab on the basis of conviction and her own desire to do it, as time goes by and as you continue your efforts. This means that you must continue to advise her and not give up, and you will be rewarded for that. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “If one man were to be guided at your hands, that will be better for you than red camels [i.e., the best kind].” (Narrated by al-Bukhari, no. 6). 
Always remind her of Allah and make her fear Him; tell her of the importance of prayer in Islam and that she has to learn the things that have to do with prayer, such as the rulings on menstruation and post-partum bleeding, because it is obligatory on every woman, when her bleeding stops, to hasten to do ghusl when the time for prayer comes. Try to bring her useful books on that topic, such as the essay by Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allah have mercy on him) on “The Natural Blood of Women” or some useful tapes. You can help her by sitting and reading with her, or listening to the tapes with her, because this is a kind of cooperating in righteousness and piety. 
[Translator’s note: Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen’s essay is available in English with additional notes by Bilaal Philips, under the title Islamic Rules on Menstruation and Post-Natal Bleeding, published by Dar al-Fatah, Sharjah, UAE].
With regard to what you mention about her mistakes in reading Quran, if the mistakes are in her recitation of al-Faatihah and are such that they distort or change the meanings of the words – such as reading an’amta [“You [masculine] have bestowed Your grace”] as an’amti [i.e., feminine form of the verb], or any other mistake which would make a listener understand something other than the correct meaning – this means that she has to learn how to read properly, because such mistakes make the prayer invalid, as reciting al-Faatihah is a pillar or essential part of the prayer, without which the prayer is not valid. But if the mistakes do not change the meaning , such as reading “ar-Rahmaan ir-Raheem” as “ar-Rahmaan ur-Raheem”, this does not invalidate the prayer. 
The Muslim must learn to read Quran so that he can recite it correctly, and so that he will not distort the Quran without realizing. 
You have to help her with that, either by teaching her yourself, or by showing her things that will help her, such as tapes of the Quran by readers who are known to recite well. You must also explain to her the virtues of reading Quran and the reward for that. 
So in conclusion you have to continue teaching and advising her, and be patient in doing so. Do not say that she has only responded a little after so much time and effort, for even this little is blessed by Allah. We have a good example in the Prophets, for Nooh called his people for nine hundred and fifty years. Allah says (interpretation of the meaning): 
“And indeed We sent Nooh (Noah) to his people, and he stayed among them a thousand years less fifty years [inviting them to believe in the Oneness of Allah (Monotheism), and discard the false gods and other deities]” [al-‘Ankaboot 29:14]
Yet despite that only a few of his people believed in him. 
Make her enjoy learning about her religion by making it easy for her. Encourage her if you see that she is responding to you, even if it is something small. Know that you are an example for her, so watch what you do and say. Beware of telling her to do something then being the first one to go against that, or of telling her not to do something then being the first one to do it, for this will stop her from accepting your advice, or will delay her. 
You have to be gentle in the way you advise her, for the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “Allah is Kind and loves kindness, and He confers upon kindness that which He does not confer upon severity and does not confer upon anything else besides it (kindness).” (Narrated by Muslim, 2593). 
You must also make a lot of du’aa’ and beseech Allah to open her heart to obedience towards Him and make His religion and laws beloved to her. I ask Allah to help you to do good.

Praise be to Allah.
Firstly: 
You should
advise your sister and explain to her the rulings on hijab and that it is
haraam to make a wanton display of one’s beauty (tabarruj). May Allaah guide
her and open her heart to the truth. 
It is important
to be wise and patient, and to show love, mercy and compassion towards your
sister when you speak to her. You should choose the most suitable ways and
times for that. You could also use some books and tapes that will encourage
her to wear hijab and will dispel her doubts.
 As for going
out in the street with her when she is adorned, that is not permissible
except in cases of necessity, because her going out like that is an evil and
it is not permissible to help her in that, because Allaah says
(interpretation of the meaning): 
“Help you
one another in Al‑Birr and At‑Taqwa (virtue, righteousness and piety); but
do not help one another in sin and transgression. And fear Allaah. Verily,
Allaah is Severe in punishment”
[al-Maa’idah
5:2]
You should
advise your parents and explain to them that it is haraam for a girl to go
out in the street wearing adornment openly, and that they are responsible
for that, as Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 
“O you who
believe! Ward off yourselves and your families against a Fire (Hell) whose
fuel is men and stones, over which are (appointed) angels stern (and)
severe, who disobey not, (from executing) the Commands they receive from
Allaah, but do that which they are commanded”
[al-Tahreem
66:6]
And the Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:
“Each of you is a shepherd
and each of you is responsible for his flock. The ruler of the people is a
shepherd and is responsible for his flock. A man is the shepherd of his
household and is responsible for his flock. A woman is the shepherd of her
husband’s house and children and is responsible for her flock. The servant
is the shepherd of his master’s wealth and is responsible for it. And I
think he said: The man is the shepherd of his father’s wealth and is
responsible for his flock. Each of you is a shepherd and each of you is
responsible for his flock.” 
Narrated by al-Bukhaari
(893) and Muslim (1829). 
It is not honouring one’s
parents to obey them with regard to tabarruj or going out with a woman who
is showing her adornments openly, because there is no obedience to any
created being if it involves disobedience towards the Creator. 
Secondly: 
There is no suggested
annual schedule for reading, rather each person should work it out according
to his work and free time, and the level of his comprehension, and other
factors. What matters is that you should organize your time and have the
desire to acquire and increase knowledge, as well as seeking the help of
some Shaykhs to determine your priorities in reading, to solve problems and
to explain difficult matters.  
If you cannot contact any
of the shaykhs who are qualified to teach, then you can make use of tapes
which explain the books of different disciplines, as well as seeking the
help of one of your righteous brothers with whom you can study and organize
regular appointments for getting together and studying which is one of the
greatest means of attaining blessing.  
Thirdly: 
Reading books requires
awareness, insight and the ability to make good choices, as well as methods
that will help one to continue and succeed. With regard to this, we advise
you to read a book called Kayfa Taqra’ Kitaaban (How to Read a Book),
which you will find via this link (in Arabic):

http://audio.islamweb.net/audio/index.php?page=audioinfo&audioid=102290
We ask Allaah to help and
guide us and you. 
And Allaah knows best.