Category: Muamalah

Praise be to Allah.
Firstly: 

It is not permissible for anyone to claim that someone else
has committed zina unless that is proven in the way dictated by sharee’ah,
such as a confession of the zaani, or the testimony of four men of good
character who witnessed the act of zina. The one who claims that someone
committed zina with no proof has committed slander, which is a major sin for
which a person deserves eighty lashes; this is the hadd punishment for
slander. 

Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“And those who accuse chaste women,
and produce not four witnesses, flog them with eighty stripes, and reject
their testimony forever. They indeed are the Faasiqoon (liars, rebellious,
disobedient to Allaah).

5. Except those who repent thereafter and do righteous
deeds; (for such) verily, Allaah is Oft‑Forgiving, Most Merciful”

[al-Noor 24:4-5]

Secondly: 

If the questioner has proof of what is mentioned in the
question, that the husband committed the sin of zina with his wife’s mother,
then it should be noted that they both deserve the punishment and wrath of
Allaah, and they deserve to be punished in this world. As the woman is
married, she deserves to be stoned to death. If he was married then he
deserves the same, and if he committed zina before he was married, then the
punishment is one hundred lashes. 

Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“The fornicatress and the fornicator, flog each of them
with a hundred stripes. Let not pity withhold you in their case, in a
punishment prescribed by Allaah, if you believe in Allaah and the Last Day.
And let a party of the believers witness their punishment.”

[al-Noor 24:2]

It was narrated that Abu Hurayrah said: A Muslim man came to
the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)
when he was in the mosque and called out to him, saying: O Messenger of
Allaah, I have committed zina. He turned away from him, so he came around to
face him and said to him: O Messenger of Allaah, I have committed zina. He
turned away from him, until he had repeated that four times. When he had
testified against himself four times, the Messenger of Allaah (peace
and blessings of Allaah be upon him) called him and said: “Are you insane?”
He said: No. He said: “Are you married?” He said: Yes. The Messenger of
Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Take him and
stone him.”

Narrated by al-Bukhaari (6439) and Muslim (1691). 

“Married” refers to one who has previously been married and
consummated the marriage, even if divorce took place after that or the
husband or wife died. 

Imam Ahmad said – according to one report narrated from him –
concerning the one who does that: He is to be executed whatever the case,
i.e., the one who commits zina with one of his mahrams is to be executed,
whether he was married or not, and whether the mahram was a mahram through
blood ties, marriage or breastfeeding. 

Ibn Qudaamah said: This is also the view of Jaabir ibn Zayd,
Ishaaq, Abu Ayyoob and Ibn Abi Khaythamah. End quote. Al-Mughni
(12/341). 

Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: If the
evil deed was done with a mahram, this is the worst of evil deeds, and the
one who did that is to be executed in all cases, according to Imam Ahmad and
others. 

Rawdat al-Muhibbeen p. 374. 

Does the fact that he committed zina with her mother mean
that it is haraam for him to marry her daughter, or that the marriage should
be annulled? There is a difference of opinion among the scholars concerning
that. The most correct view is that it does not make the marriage haraam and
the marriage should not be annulled. 

The ruling on this matter has been stated and explained in
detail in the answer to question no.
78597. 

Thirdly: 

What the wife must do now is: 

1.Not act or make any decision
about this matter unless she has definitive proof.

2.Advise her mother – if the
accusation of zina is proven – that it is essential to repent sincerely.

3.Advise her husband to repent
sincerely if he committed zina with her mother after she got married. It is
essential to keep him away from her mother in living arrangements and
meetings so that this deed will not be repeated. If he does not repent from
this action then she should hasten to get divorced, and it is not
permissible for her to stay with him, because Allaah has forbidden marriage
of a zaani to a chaste believing woman.

We understand what a severe calamity has befallen this
sister. How great is a woman’s grief, and difficult it is for her to bear it
if her husband commits zina, and it is a thousand and one times more
difficult to bear it when her mother commits zina, so how about if it is her
husband who is committing zina with her mother? This is indeed a calamity! 

We ask Allaah to relieve her distress and take away her
sorrow, and to bless her with patience and wisdom. 

But before making any major decision, we advise her to think
long and hard about the consequences. 

If she decides to leave her husband, then in that case can
she live in the same house as her mother, who is the one who did that and
wrecked her marriage? 

We think, if she has no suitable place to go and no mahram
who can take care of her, that staying with her husband and advising him to
repent and mend his ways is easier for her than getting divorced and living
in her mother’s house. 

This sister should weigh up the consequences of her decision.
Some evils are easier to bear than others. 

And Allaah knows best.

Praise be to Allah.If the wife insults and reviles her husband, then he must advise her and warn her, and explain to her that her bad talk incurs sin, especially since the husband is the most deserving of people of her respect and good treatment, as the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “If I were to command anyone to prostrate to anyone, I would have told women to prostrate to their husbands, because of the rights that Allah has given them over them.” Narrated by Abu Dawood (2140) and al-Tirmidhi (1159); classed as saheeh by al-Albani in Saheeh Abi Dawood. 
You should follow with her the method that Allah has mentioned in His Book, of admonishing, forsaking in bed and hitting in a way that does not cause injury. If none of that is successful, then you should seek help in advising her from a righteous person in her family, so as to preserve the family and take care of the rights of the children, if there are any. 
Allah says (interpretation of the meaning): 
“Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has made one of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means. Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient (to Allah and to their husbands), and guard in the husband’s absence what Allah orders them to guard (e.g. their chastity and their husband’s property). As to those women on whose part you see ill‑conduct, admonish them (first), (next) refuse to share their beds, (and last) beat them (lightly, if it is useful and in a manner that does not cause any physical pain or leave marks); but if they return to obedience, seek not against them means (of annoyance). Surely, Allah is Ever Most High, Most Great”
[al-Nisa 4:34] 
Among the admonishment that you may use with her is telling her of the sin that she is committing by disobeying her husband, and the great reward that she will attain if she obeys him. 
You should also explain to her the harm that will be suffered by her, her husband and her daughter in the event of a divorce or if she continues to behave in this manner. 
If the wife responds and is affected by this admonition, and she gives up this bad behaviour, then this is what is wanted. If she persists in her evil ways and foolishness, then there is no blame on the husband if he divorces her. 
The scholars have stated that divorce may be permissible if it is needed because of the wife’s bad attitude and bad conduct, and if he is harmed by that and the purpose of marriage is not being achieved.  
Al-Mughni (10/324). 
What you have mentioned about being afraid for your daughter if you separate is something that should be taken into account. If you are afraid that you will not be able to bring her up, or that the girl will be harmed because of this divorce, then you should weigh up the two evils, that of staying with a woman whose attitude is bad and who is mistreating you, and that of what might happen to your daughter after a divorce. One of the basic principles of sharee’ah is doing the lesser of two evils in order to ward off the greater. 
You should pray istikharah, asking Allah for guidance, before making your decision, and you should strive for reconciliation if possible. If that is not possible then strive to protect your daughter and get custody of her, and do not leave her for this woman to raise her with her attitude. 
We advise you to pray to Allah and always fear Him, for Allah has promised provision and a way out to the pious who always fear Him. Allah says (interpretation of the meaning): 
“And whosoever fears Allah and keeps his duty to Him, He will make a way for him to get out (from every difficulty).
3. And He will provide him from (sources) he never could imagine. And whosoever puts his trust in Allah, then He will suffice him. Verily, Allah will accomplish his purpose. Indeed Allah has set a measure for all things”
[al-Talaq 65:2-3] 
We also advise you to repent to Allah from all sins, for the wife’s bad attitude may be a punishment for sins that one has committed, as it was narrated that al-Fudayl ibn ‘Iyad (may Allah have mercy on him) said: I disobey Allah then I see that in the attitude of my mount or my wife.  
We ask Allah to set our affairs and the affairs of the Muslims straight. 
And Allah knows best.

Praise be to Allah.It is essential first of all to define the cause of the problem, then you can go ahead and deal with it. If you ask us to help you define it, we would say that the problem is in yourself and not in anything else. The help that others offer you will never be of benefit unless you take steps towards salvation.  
The feelings that you express in your question indicate that the elements of righteousness are present in your case, for the believer is the one who takes stock of himself and rebukes himself, and it seems that you are doing that. 
The believer is afraid of his shortcomings and sins, and sees them as a mountain that is about to fall on him. It seems that you feel this way too. 
The believer holds his Islam and faith in high esteem, and is proud to belong to this great religion, and he loves his Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) – and your letter shows this clearly. 
So how can all these qualities be present in one who falls short in the greatest religious duty, which is prayer? 
We do not have any explanation for that except poor self-management and a lack of self control. Otherwise, performing the prayer does not take up a great deal of effort or time. It is only a few minutes in which a person is alone with his Lord, asking Him to fulfil his needs and complaining to Him the heavy burden of his worldly concerns, and expressing to Him his longing for Him and His mercy. 
If we cannot put up with making the commitment of these few minutes, then we do not think that we could ever succeed in our lives. Self-discipline requires commitment and resolve, and our Lord has not burdened us Muslims with more than we can bear, rather He has not even burdened us with anything that is too difficult for us; He loves to accept our repentance and make things easier for us. 
Allah says (interpretation of the meaning): 
“Allah intends for you ease, and He does not want to make things difficult for you”
[al-Baqarah 2:185] 
“Allah wishes to make clear (what is lawful and what is unlawful) to you, and to show you the ways of those before you, and accept your repentance, and Allah is All‑Knower, All‑Wise.
Allah wishes to accept your repentance, but those who follow their lusts, wish that you (believers) should deviate tremendously away (from the Right Path).
Allah wishes to lighten (the burden) for you; and man was created weak”
[al-Nisa’ 4:26-28]
Prayer is a mercy that Allah has enjoined upon us by His bounty and kindness. The one who adheres to it and prays regularly and properly will see the bounty of Allah to us which He has decreed for us and will understand that the one who is truly deprived is the one who deprives himself of the joy of contact with Allah, may He be exalted. 
It was narrated from Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: 
“Prayer is the best of prescribed things, so the one who is able to do a lot of it, let him do a lot of it.” 
Narrated by al-Tabaraani (1/84); classed as saheeh (authentic) by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Targheeb (390). 
See what Allah says after the verses in which He enjoined purification for prayer (interpretation of the meaning): 
“Allah does not want to place you in difficulty, but He wants to purify you, and to complete His Favour to you that you may be thankful”
[al-Maa’idah 5:6]
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him), whom you love and whose Seerah (life) you love, says: “My delight has been made in prayer.” Narrated by al-Nasaa’i (3940); classed as hasan (sound) by al-Haafiz ibn Hajar in al-Talkhees al-Habeer (3/116) and classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Nasaa’i. 
How can the believer agree to miss out on this goodness and these blessings? 
Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allah have mercy on him) said: 
Alas! How can a person spend his time and live his life deprived of smelling this fragrance, and leave this world as he entered it without having tasted the best that it has to offer, and having lived in it like a dumb animal, departing from it like one who is bankrupt. He lived a life of helplessness, he died a death of sadness and his resurrection will be loss and regret. O Allah, to You be praise, to You we complain, You are the One Whose help we seek, You we ask for aid, in You we put our trust, and there is no power and no strength except with You.  
Tareeq al-Hijratayn (p. 327). 
I am not saying this to you in order to increase the despair that you are feeling, but so that you will strive to rid yourself of it. It has only befallen you because of your failure to perform the easiest of duties, so you should know that you are more incapable of doing others. 
You should not leave any room in your life for despair with regard to  Allah. You must understand that He hates those who despair (interpretation of the meaning): “And who despairs of the Mercy of his Lord except those who are astray?” [al-Hijr 15:56] and He loves those of His slaves who are optimistic of His mercy and grace. By His vast kindness He forgives bad deeds and pardons mistakes, indeed He says (interpretation of the meaning):
“Except those who repent and believe (in Islamic Monotheism), and do righteous deeds; for those, Allah will change their sins into good deeds, and Allah is Oft‑Forgiving, Most Merciful
And whosoever repents and does righteous good deeds; then verily, he repents towards Allah with true repentance”
[al-Furqaan 25:68-70]”
A wise man said: “Nothing brings hope but good deeds.” You will never escape the trap of despair into which the shaytaan has caused you to fall unless you start to strive and try to commit yourself to righteousness, even if you fall short at the beginning. 
Allah says (interpretation of the meaning): 
“and never give up hope of Allah’s Mercy. Certainly no one despairs of Allah’s Mercy, except the people who disbelieve”
[Yoosuf 12:87]
Hope means that a person must work and strive hard for whatever he hopes for, but despair means that he will be sluggish and slow. The best that people can hope for is the bounty, kindness, mercy and grace of Allah.
 “Certainly no one despairs of Allah’s Mercy, except the people who disbelieve” – because of their kufr (disbelief), they think that the mercy of Allah is unlikely, and His mercy is far from them. So do not be like the kaafirs (non-Muslims). This indicates that the more faith a person has, the more hope he will have of the mercy and grace of Allah. Tafseer Ibn Sa’di. 
The first thing you must do is to become eager to offer prayers regularly and on time, as you would feel eager for other worldly matters such as food, drink, study, marriage and so on. Every action is preceded by concern and thought. One of the early generation strove hard to do many naafil (voluntary) prayers, until Thaabit al-Banaani (may Allah have mercy on him) said: I strove hard to do qiyaam al-layl (supererogatory prayers offered at night) for twenty years, and I enjoyed it for the next twenty years. 
This thinking and concern will not be sufficient unless you focus on means that will help you to pray regularly and think about ways to make yourself adhere to that which Allah has enjoined. Man possesses a great ability to choose the means that will help him to do what he wants. 
Strive to get up straightaway, as soon as you hear the voice of the muezzin saying takbeer, and remember that Allah is greater than all of this world by which you are distracted. Then go to your prayer-place and pray what Allah has enjoined on you. Do not forget to say that du’aa’ that our Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) taught us: ‘Allahumma a’inni ‘ala dhikrika wa shukrika wa husni ‘ibaadatika (O Allah, help me to remember You, give thanks to You and worship You properly).” 
You say that your family is eager to fast six days of Shawwaal, and this is a sign of goodness and righteousness that will help you to offer prayers on time, when you see your mother and siblings getting up at this time. Praise Allah for this; how many complaints come from children whose families smack them to stop them praying and hijab, but Allah has honoured you with a family who can help you to fear Allah. 
Keep company with girls who pray and are righteous, and ask them to help you with prayer and to remind you of it and encourage you to do it. That may be the best help for you. 
Finally, beware of sins, for they are the basis of all problems. One sin leads to another, and so on, until they accumulate and destroy a man, making it too hard for him to pray and depriving him of its light and blessing. We ask Allah to keep us safe and sound. 
Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allah have mercy on him) said:  
Sins generate more sins, and one leads to another, until they overpower a man and he finds it difficult to repent from that. As one of the earlier generation said: One of the punishments of bad deeds is more bad deeds, and one of the rewards of good deeds is more good deeds. 
Al-Jawaab al-Kaafi (p. 36). 
Secondly: 
As for your question about fasting Ramadan and that you are uncertain about not fasting on some days, with no excuse, we say to you: Do not pay any attention to these doubts, if it seems most likely to you that you did this act of worship at the right time with your family. Thinking something most likely is sufficient to have discharged one’s duty, and doubts count for nothing after that. 
In Fataawa al-Lajnah al-Daa’imah (7/143) it says:  
Doubts after having finished tawaaf circling the k’abah), saa’i (walking between Safa and Marwah) and prayer should be ignored, because what seems to be the case is that the act of worship is valid. 
End quote. 
Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allah have mercy on him) said: 
If the doubt comes after finishing the act of worship, then no attention should be paid to it, so long as there is no certainty about the matter. 
Majmoo’ Fataawa al-Shaykh al-‘Uthaymeen (14/question no. 746). 
Moreover, if a fast is not observed with no excuse, it does not have to be made up and no expiation is to be offered, rather one has to repent and seek forgiveness, as has previously been explained in he answer to question no. 50067. 
I ask Allah to decree your reward for you and to make you steadfast in adhering to truth and Islam, and to protect you from the accursed shaytaan. 
And Allah knows best.

Praise be to Allah.We understand your feelings about this matter, which has caused you hardship and pain, but it may be that it is very good for you, and you will come to understand that later on, in sha Allah. 
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “How wonderful is the situation of the believer, for all his affairs are good. If something good happens to him, he gives thanks for it and that is good for him; if something bad happens to him, he bears it with patience, and that is good for him.” Narrated by Muslim (2999). 
The believing woman accepts the decree of Allah and knows that Allah is more merciful towards her than she is herself, and that calamities increase the believer in reward and status, if he is patient and seeks reward. 
Secondly: 
If the young man who proposed to you was working in a riba-based bank, then praise Allah for having diverted him from you, and that you did not become his wife, eating from his haraam wealth. This is the result of istikhaarah, praise be to Allah, because the result of istikhaarah may not be immediately apparent, and both parties may go ahead, then Allah diverts one or both of them from completing the matter. You may be completely certain that Allah has chosen the better of the two for you, and that what happened of making the marriage contract then divorce, is a test from Allah, and it is good and beneficial, even though it may cause you some sorrow and pain. 
Undoubtedly you made a mistake when you accepted this young man, as the first thing you should look for is religious commitment and good character. The one who works with riba, either recording it or witnessing it or anything else, is lacking in good character and is exposing himself to the curse and being banished from the mercy of Allah, so how could a believing woman accept him as a husband and father of her children? 
Praise Allah and give thanks to Him for this blessing, and learn a lesson from this experience, for if a person is saved one time, he may not be saved again. 
It is very strange for a person whom Allah diverts away from evil as a sign of mercy and kindness, to still be upset about his loss. 
Ibn Mas’ood (may Allah have mercy on him) said: A person may think of some trade or position of leadership until it is made available to him, then Allah looks at him and says to the angels: Divert it away from him, for if it is made easy for him he will enter Hell. So Allah diverts it away from him, but he keeps saying, So and so beat me to it, So and so humiliated me, when it is nothing more than a bounty from Allah, may He be glorified and exalted.” 
Thirdly: 
With regard to the frustration that has befallen you and your determination not to go through this again, it is better for you not to have this attitude. If a person fails once it does not mean that he will fail every time, rather you can learn from what has happened so that it will motivate you to make a good choice next time, on the basis of religious commitment and good character. 
We ask Allah to increase you in faith and piety, and to bless you with a righteous husband and righteous offspring. 
And Allah knows best.

Praise be to Allah.Be thankful to Allah
You should appreciate the blessing that Allah has bestowed upon you by enabling you to repent and adhere to your Religion, before death comes suddenly. So you should thank Him greatly for this blessing , which should make you strive harder to obey Him.  
Al-Bukhari (4836) and Muslim (2819) narrated that al-Mughirah ibn Shu’bah said: The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) stood (in prayer) until his feet became swollen. It was said to him: Allah has forgiven your past and future sins. He said: “Should I not be a thankful slave?” 
Seek refuge with Allah from a bad situation after a good situation
So how can you accept to respond to goodness with something bad, and to go back to square one after you had gone so far in the way of righteousness? Rather we hope that you will go back to the way you were when you started to follow the straight path, for you have deviated and gone astray from the path after Allah blessed you with righteousness. 
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) used to seek refuge with Allah from such a thing. In Sahih Muslim (1343) it is narrated that ‘Abd-Allah ibn Sarjis said: When the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) travelled, he would seek refuge with Allah from the hardships of travel, from bad consequences, from a bad situation after a good situation, from the prayer of one who has been wronged, and from an ill-fated outcome with regard to family and wealth. 
In His Noble Book, Allah strikes a similitude for the one who goes back to bad ways and destroys what he has built up, and turns away from the path of guidance, which explains the bad situation he is in and what he has chosen for himself, and He warns His slaves against doing this foolish deed: 
“And fulfil the Covenant of Allah (Bai‘ah: pledge for Islam) when you have covenanted, and break not the oaths after you have confirmed them — and indeed you have appointed Allah your surety. Verily, Allah knows what you do. And be not like her who undoes the thread which she has spun, after it has become strong, by taking your oaths as a means of deception among yourselves, lest a nation should be more numerous than another nation. Allah only tests you by this (i.e. who obeys Allah and fulfils Allah’s Covenant and who disobeys Allah and breaks Allah’s Covenant). And on the Day of Resurrection, He will certainly make clear to you that wherein you used to differ (i.e. a believer confesses and believes in the Oneness of Allah and in the Prophethood of Prophet Muhammad which the disbeliever denies and that is their difference amongst them in the life of this world).” [al-Nahl 16:91-92]
Shaykh Ibn al-Sa’di (may Allah have mercy on him) said: 
“This includes everything that a person has covenanted to Allah, such as acts of worship, vows and faith, because fulfilling that is righteousness. It also includes that which he and others have covenanted, such as covenants between people.  
“And be not” in breaking the covenants in the worst and most foolish manner, “like her” who spins a strong thread, then when she has nearly finished it, she breaks it and it comes undone, so she exhausted herself spinning the thread and then undoing it, and she did not gain anything but frustration, exhaustion and foolishness. The same applies to the one who breaks the covenant; he is a wrongdoer, ignorant, foolish, lacking in religious commitment and manliness.” (p. 447) 
Giving up prayer is a grave sin 
So hasten to repent from this, for giving up prayer is one of the gravest of sins by which Allah is disobeyed. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) described not praying as kufr, and he said: “The covenant that stands between us and them is prayer; whoever gives it up is a kafir.” Narrated by al-Tirmidhi (2545) and by Ahmad and others; classed as sahih by al-Albani. 
It is strange how the brother can say: I have tried not to fall into sin,” then he says that he missed a lot of prayer. What is his concept of sin in that case?! 
Giving up prayer is the greatest and most serious sin. You have tried to prevent yourself from doing every sin except associating others with Allah (shirk). 
So hasten to repent and regret what you have done, before there comes a moment when man regrets at the time when regret is to no avail. 
Do not help your enemy (Satan) against yourself
As for you saying that you have a “complex about prayer” and you feel that you will never recover from this complex, this is a trick of the shaytan who makes this idea seem attractive. You are the one who has helped your enemy against yourself, and you let him fill your mind with the idea of this complex which stems from illusions and laziness, and lack of resolve to do good. So hasten to solve this problem by obeying Allah, may He be exalted, and keeping your wudu, and hastening to pray when the time for prayer begins. 
It was narrated from Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) that the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “The Shaytan ties three knots at the back of the head of any one of you when he goes to sleep, striking each knot and saying: “You have a long night ahead, so sleep.” If he wakes up and remembers Allah, one knot is undone. If he does wudu, two knots are undone. If he prays, all the knots are undone, and he starts the day energetic and in a good mood. Otherwise, he starts his day in a bad mood and feeling lazy.” (Narrated by al-Bukhari (3269) and Muslim (776) 
Ibn ‘Abd al-Barr (may Allah have mercy on him) said: 
“This hadith indicates that the shaytan causes a person to sleep and makes him feel heavy and lazy through his efforts and waswas, and his ability to tempt, mislead and make falsehood seem attractive, except the sincere slaves of Allah. 
This hadith indicates that the shaytan may be expelled by means of remembrance of Allah (dhikr), as well as wudu and prayer.” (Al-Tamhid (19/45)
Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allah have mercy on him) said: 
“Undoubtedly prayer itself offers good health to the body, and helps the body to rid itself of impurities and keep that which is the most beneficial thing for it, as well as offering protection to one’s faith and happiness in this world and the Hereafter. 
Similarly, qiyam al-layl is one of the most beneficial means of protecting one’s well-being and preventing many chronic diseases, and it is one of the most energizing things for the body, soul and heart, as it says in al-Sahihayn… and he quoted the hadith.” (Zad al-Ma’ad, 4/225)
Seek the help of Allah and do not feel helpless
Do not feel weak before your enemy, and do not let him gain any power over you. Seek the help of Allah and do not feel helpless – as your Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) has enjoined you. Remember that “ever feeble indeed is the plot of Shaytan (Satan)” [al-Nisa 4:76]. Remember that the obligatory prayers are easy and the Muslim will not find it burdensome to perform them regularly. 
Keep good company
With regard to what you mention about losing interest, the reason for that may be the kind of people with whom you are keeping company. Try as much as you can to attend gatherings of dhikr and knowledge, and to sit with good companions, for acts of worship are easy when a person sees others whom he can take as examples and who can help him with it. 
A person will inevitably be exposed to situations which make him feel stronger and more keen to do good, and other situations where that keenness will be less. But it is not permissible to let that lead you to giving up obligatory duties or committing haram actions. 
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “Every deed has a period of enthusiasm, and every period of enthusiasm is followed by a slackening off. If a person’s enthusiasm is for my Sunnah, then he has succeeded, but whoever chooses something else when he slackens off is doomed.” (Narrated by Ahmad (6725) and classed as sahih by al-Albani in Sahih al-Jami’ (no. 2151) 
Set a regular program for yourself
Hence our advice to you is to set a regular program for yourself which you should not neglect, including the obligatory and confirmed nafl prayers. If you do more than that occasionally that will be good upon good, and if you fall short then do not fall short in doing the obligatory prayers. 
How to make up missed prayers
With regard to the prayers that you have missed in the past , whatever you missed because of sleep, there is no sin on you for that but you have to make them up . As for those that you missed with no excuse, i.e., you were too lazy to do them before the time for them ended, then you have to repent, and in that case making them up will not avail you anything. What you have to do is offer a lot of nawafil prayers and pray for forgiveness, so that Allah may forgive you. 
And Allah knows best.

Praise be to Allah.
In the answer to question no.
82400 we have stated the ruing on
conditional divorce and discussed the scholarly points of view on the matter
in detail. There is also a warning against hastening to divorce or using
divorce as an oath.  

Your aunt should understand that it is not essential that she
know about her divorce being conditional upon her doing something, and it is
not essential that she hear her husband utter the divorce, but her husband
should have told her what he had done. Not telling her what he said about
her divorce being conditional upon her entering her sister’s house shows
that he did not intend to stop her, rather he intended that the divorce
should take place. If he had wanted to stop her, he would have made sure she
heard what he said or he would have told her afterwards. 

Whatever the case, it seems that he intended that the divorce
should take place, and she became divorced when she entered her sister’s
house, even if she did not know what he had said. 

See also the answer to question no.
43481. 

And Allaah knows best.

Praise be to Allah.
From your words and your description of the problem that you
are facing, some important points are clear to us, to which we should pay
special attention. These include the following: 

Firstly: 

You have some good things that are priceless, chief among
which is Islam. This is a great blessing that Allaah has bestowed upon every
Muslim; no matter what calamities, worries, stress and depression befall
him, he must remember that he is a Muslim and that Allaah loves for His
slaves to be Muslim even though He has no need of them and it does not harm
Him if they disbelieve. Even if a person does some bad deeds, his staying
within the circle of Islam is one of the greatest blessings that Allaah
bestows upon him. 

Imagine that you had the best that this world has to offer:
wealth, status, a husband, children, a peaceful and stable home, education,
a life filled with happiness, and everything that you could wish for, but at
the same time you followed Judaism or Christianity or Buddhism, or you
regarded a cow as holy, as millions of people do, or you worshipped a mouse,
or the sun, or some other created thing, or that you were confused? Would
that be better, or having the problems and worries that you have, but you
are still Muslim? 

Secondly:  

You follow the Sunnah. Imagine if you claimed to be a Muslim
but you were following a wrong path. Imagine if you were a Raafidi Shi’ah,
believing that the Qur’aan is distorted and lacking something, and
venerating ‘Ali and reviling the Sahaabah (may Allaah be pleased with them
all), regarding most of them as kaafirs and worshipping Allaah by cursing
Abu Bakr and ‘Umar (may Allaah be pleased with them), and accusing the
Mother of the Believers ‘Aa’ishah of zina – as millions of those who claim
to follow Islam do, but Islam has nothing to do with them. 

Or imagine that you were one of those who claim to follow
Islam but they believe that the awliya’ (“saints”) in their graves can being
benefit and cause harm, so they call upon them and seek their help, and
offer sacrifices to them and make offerings to them. Undoubtedly this is
blatant kufr. 

This is a reference to just two of the seventy-two sects that
claim to belong to Islam, but they will all be in Hell except for one, as
was stated by the one who did not speak on the basis of whims and desires –
the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). 

Which is dearer to you – having this world and all its
delights beneath your feet whilst being so misguided and deviant, or being a
Sunni Muslim, in accordance with sound human nature and affirming the
Oneness of Allaah (Tawheed), even though you have many worries and
problems? 

Thirdly: 

Praise Allaah for having been guided to pray and enabled to
do good deeds, for many people regard themselves as Sunni Muslims, but they
do not pray. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)
said: “The covenant that distinguishes between us and them is prayer;
whoever does not pray is a kaafir.” Narrated by al-Tirmidhi (2621),
al-Nasaa’i (463) and Ibn Majaah (1079); classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in
Saheeh al-Tirmidhi. 

Part of being enabled to do good deeds is loving Allaah and
His Messenger (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and the
Sahaabah, as you mention in your letter. It is proven that our Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “There are three
characteristics, whoever attains them has found the sweetness of faith: when
Allaah and His Messenger are dearer to him than all else, when he loves a
man and does not love him except for the sake of Allaah, and when he would
hate to return to kufr after Allaah has saved him from it as he would hate
to be thrown into the fire.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari (16) and Muslim (43). 

By the same token, love of the Prophet (peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him) and his companions is one of the greatest
means of drawing closer to Allaah, of which most of mankind is deprived. It
is narrated in a saheeh report that he (peace and blessings of Allaah
be upon him) said: “A man will be with those whom he loves.” Narrated by
al-Bukhaari (6169) and Muslim (2640) from ‘Abd-Allaah ibn Mas’ood; also
narrated by Muslim (2639) from Anas ibn Maalik (may Allaah be pleased with
him). 

These are great blessings, just one of which cannot be traded
for this world and its pleasures and delights, but in fact you are not aware
of their true value, because you have not experienced being without them,
even for a single day, and you did not see their fruits in the world except
on a very small scale. 

We do not underestimate the severity of the problem from
which you are suffering, but exaggerating about things may make a single
problem into several problems. In fact you have several problems, so how
about if you were to exaggerate about each one of them until they became
like many problems? 

Looking at a problem from only one angle generates worry,
distress and depression, and if it is minor it will increase in one’s eyes
until one thinks that all the problems of the world are on one’s shoulders,
and there is no problem that a Muslim could have that is one hundred percent
pure evil? In most cases the good that exists in the calamity is many times
greater than the bad. 

Firstly: Do you know that Allaah tests the believing woman
because He loves her and wants what is good for her? In al-Saheeh it
is narrated that our Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon
him) said: “When Allaah wills good for a person, He tests him.” Narrated by
al-Bukhaari (5321). 

What great grace it is that Allaah cleanses His slave whom He
loves of sin straight away, with trials and calamities, so that he will meet
Him on the (Day of Resurrection) with no sin on him, and his joy on that Day
will be great, and he will realize then that the calamities that befell him
were among the greatest blessings that Allaah bestowed on him. 

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)
said: “On the Day of Resurrection, when people who had suffered affliction
are given their reward, those who were healthy will wish their skins had
been cut to pieces with scissors when they were in the world.” Narrated by
al-Tirmidhi, 2402. Classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi. 

Look again at the life that you are living, and at the
calamities that you are suffering, and think positively of your Lord, for He
is the wisest of the wise, may He be glorified. 

Try as much as you can to look at the positive side of every
problem that you are suffering, whether it is psychological or material. For
example: 

Delay in marriage: 

How many girls find that marriage for them is delayed, then
it turns out to be good for them. 

There was a woman who reached the age of forty; her sisters
and brothers all got married, and her parents died, and she stayed in the
house alone. She was religiously committed and righteous. A woman said to
her: May Allaah help you to cope with this loneliness; you have stayed alone
after all your family has gone. And she started to encourage her to be
patient. But she gave an amazing response that not even great and prominent
people could come up with, and those who heard this answer were stunned by
it. She said: Who told you that I am living alone? Not at all. I have not
lived a single day without the one I love. He is with me night and day, and
He does not leave me for a moment, and I talk to Him at moments when He is
closest to me. He is my Lord.  

Another example is the problem of not having children. 

One of our sisters got married but did not have children for
many years, then she found out from medical tests that she was the one who
could not have children. She gave her husband the choice of divorcing her or
taking a second wife to live with her like two sisters in one house. He
loved her for her religious commitment and righteousness, so he chose to
take another wife and to keep her with him as a co-wife with all the rights
of marriage. That was done, and she now had some free time. She joined a
group of women to memorize Qur’aan, until she had memorized it all, and she
earned a certificate in learning and memorizing Qur’aan. Then she began to
study and she took a course in fiqh and another in ‘aqeedah. Now she is a
teacher of women in a women’s centre, and she has had the honour of
introducing the Sunnah to many areas that were dominated by innovations and
myths. She has played a major role in eradicating ignorance for many women
who used to worship Allaah in ignorance. She bore her inability to have
children with patience, and her Lord honoured her, and her use of her free
time had a great impact on her and others with regard to knowledge and
education. 

A third example: 

This has to do with one of the greatest problems from which
you are suffering, which is sihr (magic or witchcraft), and the influence of
the jinn and practitioners of witchcraft among mankind. This example will
give answers to most of the questions that have to do with this topic. 

There was a girl from a good and religiously committed
family. The family was faced the problem that the wife of one of their sons
practised witchcraft. She had an argument with her husband’s sister and put
a spell on her so that suitors would be put off and to make her appear ugly
when first seen, so that the suitor would not return. That happened many
times despite the fact that she was notably beautiful, and that went on for
a long time. Then she was treated with shar’i ruqyah to combat witchcraft
and the effects of witchcraft became apparent on her.  She was treated for a
while, to no avail. Every time she thought that the problem had been solved,
she would suddenly find that she was suffering from the same spell, and she
suffered the same as you are suffering now, worry, stress and depression. 

She started to wonder, could people hate another for no
reason to such an extent that they would cause harm to one another, and the
witchcraft and the jinn started causing her to panic by night and day. 

Then she referred her problem to a specialist who told her:
There are ten things that you must adhere to, and by Allaah’s leave this
problem will not last for long if you are patient and put up with it for a
little while. You do not need to go to a man to treat you with ruqyah,
rather you can treat yourself by yourself. She said: I will be patient and I
will do my best, if Allaah wills. So he wrote down the ten points for her
and she adhered to them and stuck firmly to them. Here are the ten points;
we will write them for you and we ask Allaah to enable you to adhere to them
as part of the remedy for several problems that you have, of which sihr is
one. These are the ten points: 

1.Read whatever you can of
Qur’aan every day.

Make du’aa’ during the last third of the night, beseeching
Allaah to grant you relief.

Seek out the times when du’aa’s are answered, and say
du’aa’ at those times, such as when prostrating, between the adhaan and
iqaamah, and before saying the tasleem at the end of the prayer.

Always recite the adhkaar for morning and evening, even
during your menses.

Pay attention to specific du’aa’s, such as dhikr when
entering the house, when entering the toilet, when exiting, when going to
sleep, when waking up, and on various occasions. These are explained in a
small book that is of great benefit, namely Husn al-Muslim by
Shaykh Sa’eed ibn Wahb al-Qahtaani. (Available in English as Fortress
of the Muslim).

Keep away from sin, avoid negligence and shun the
situations which may cause you to forget remembrance of Allaah, because
they are places where the devils gather and take advantage of the heedless
and overwhelm them with desires.

Try to help those who are in distress and relieve their
distress, in the hope that Allaah may relieve your distress thereby. If a
person helps his brother, Allaah will help him, and if he relieves his
brother’s distress, Allaah will relieve his distress.

Pray for those who are in distress, asking Allaah to
relieve them, because that will lead to the angels praying for you as you
prayed for others.

Ask a great deal for forgiveness.

Recite the du’aa’ of distress at various times: “La
ilaaha ill-Allaah al-‘Azeem ul-Haleem, Laa ilaaha ill-Allaah Rabb il-‘arsh
il-‘azeem, Laa ilaaha ill-Allaah Rabb is-samawaati wa Rabb il-ard wa Rabb
il-‘arsh il-kareem (there is no god except Allaah, the All-Mighty, the
Forbearing; there is no god except Allaah, the Lord of the Mighty Throne;
there is no god except Allaah, Lord of the heavens, Lord of the earth and
Lord of the noble Throne).”

 After nearly a month of adhering to these things, Allaah
took away her distress and decreed that she should be healed and made well.
It was only a few days later that a suitor came to her and she got married.
And now she has three sons and lives a calm and stable life filled with
spiritual and worldly delights. 

The last example, which I pray Allaah will cause to be a
lesson and example for you: 

There was a girl from a family that was not religiously
committed. She married an uneducated young man who was somewhat religiously
committed but was a little careless with regard to some matters of
sharee’ah. She got pregnant a few months after marriage and the pregnancy
lasted for a while, then she had a miscarriage. She and her husband grieved
deeply, but a few months later she got pregnant again. The pregnancy lasted
for a few months, but ended in miscarriage like the first one. The grief the
second time was greater. They started going to doctors to find out the
causes, and the problem was diagnosed. In the third pregnancy she took the
medicines that were needed to make the pregnancy stable, but one month later
she had a miscarriage despite taking all the necessary precautions. The
grief this time was far greater than the first two times. They lost trust in
that doctor and looked for another who was more skilled, but it happened
again and she had another miscarriage. Each of them started looking for a
remedy and asking, and they were sent to a Shaykh who treated people by
means of ruqyah. He told her: You are under a powerful spell, and this is
what is causing the miscarriages, and needs several sessions. That was done
but to no avail. Then she went to a second Shaykh, and a third and a fourth.
Every time she was partially cured, then the effects of the spell came back
again.   

The couple began to despair and they almost gave up. There
was no joy in their lives, and they asked many of the same questions that
you mention in your letter. Why did Allaah create the jinn? Why are they
able to harm us without us being able to do anything? Why? Why? She became
depressed and that almost destroyed their marriage. 

Then Allaah caused her husband to meet a seeker of knowledge
and he said: Shall I not tell you that which is best for your religious and
worldly interests? The husband said: That is what I have been looking for.
He wrote down for him something similar to the ten points that we have
mentioned, and he and his wife followed that, and Allaah made things easier
for them, and relieved their distress, and blessed them with a beautiful
baby girl. 

This woman went through a great test, and her children died
because of the effects of witchcraft and she spent a lot of money on medical
treatment. In the end the calamity turned into a blessing, or many
blessings. She used to delay prayer until the time for it was over, but then
she started to pray regularly on time. She used to listen to music and watch
soap operas and movies, and attend mixed wedding parties with the evils
involved in them, but now she and her husband refuse to do that until now.
She used not to pray qiyaam or read Qur’aan or memorize it, or see knowledge
or observe naafil fasts, but now she does all of those things. Although the
problem that she was suffering ended a year ago, she began to taste the
sweetness of obedience, worship and conversing with her Lord, so she decided
to follow that for the rest of her life. Yes, she suffered a problem and a
calamity, but her problem became the cause of her rising in worldly and
religious terms. We ask Allaah to make us, her and you steadfast in adhering
to Islam. 

And Allaah is the Source of strength.

Praise be to Allah.Firstly: 
Zina is a grave sin,
especially on the part of one whom Allaah has blessed with marriage and who
has responded to the blessing with ingratitude, betrayed her husband,
transgressed against his honour and contaminated his bed. Hence the
punishment for this married woman is to be stoned to death, as a punishment
from Allaah, and Allaah is Almighty and All-Wise. 
But by His mercy, He is
kind to His slave and gives him respite and allows him to repent, and He
accepts that from him and gives reward for that. How merciful, great and
kind He is, may He be glorified and exalted. 
Allaah says (interpretation
of the meaning): 

“And those who invoke not any other ilaah (god) along with
Allaah, nor kill such person as Allaah has forbidden, except for just cause,
nor commit illegal sexual intercourse __and whoever does this shall receive the punishment.

69. The torment will be doubled to him on the Day of
Resurrection, and he will abide therein in disgrace;

70. Except those who repent and believe (in Islamic
Monotheism), and do righteous deeds; for those, Allaah will change their
sins into good deeds, and Allaah is Oft‑Forgiving, Most Merciful”

[al-Furqaan 25:68-70]
So continue to repent and
beseech Allaah to accept it from you, and beware of your self that is
inclined towards evil, lest you take for granted Allaah’s kindness towards
you and His covering of your sins, for He gives respite but does not forget,
and when He becomes angry He punishes. 
Secondly: 
You have to block all the
ways that lead to haraam, such as tabarruj (wanton display of adornment),
free mixing, correspondence and phone calls. This is part of your repentance
and mending your ways. You must beware of the traps of the shaytaan, for the
shaytaan has traps and tricks whereby he tempts his friends, as Allaah says
(interpretation of the meaning): 
“O you who believe!
Follow not the footsteps of Shaytaan (Satan). And whosoever follows the
footsteps of Shaytaan (Satan), then, verily, he commands Al‑Fahsha’ [i.e. to
commit indecency (illegal sexual intercourse)], and Al‑Munkar [disbelief and
polytheism (i.e. to do evil and wicked deeds; and to speak or to do what is
forbidden in Islam)]. And had it not been for the Grace of Allaah and His
Mercy on you, not one of you would ever have been pure from sins. But Allaah
purifies (guides to Islam) whom He wills, and Allaah is All‑Hearer,
All‑Knower”
[al-Noor 24:21]
Thirdly: 
If you do not want to stay
with him and you cannot stand him, and you fear that if you do that you will
fall into zina, then there is nothing wrong with you asking for a divorce,
but you should think about the consequences of doing that and what your
situation will be after that. Pray to Allaah for guidance (istikhaarah)
before doing that. See question no.
11981 for information about
the istikhaarah prayer.  
The evidence that it is
permissible to seek a divorce if a woman hates her husband and cannot bear
to stay with him is the report narrated by al-Bukhaari in his Saheeh
(4867), that the wife of Thaabit ibn Qays came to the Prophet (peace
and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and said: “O Messenger of Allaah, I do
not blame Thaabit ibn Qays for any defect in his character or his religious
commitment, but I would hate to commit an act of kufr when I am a Muslim.” 
[Ibn Majaah (2056 added): and I cannot stand him ] The Messenger of Allaah
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, “Will you give him back
his garden [which he had given as mahr]?” She said, “Yes.” The Messenger of
Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said (to Thaabit),
“Accept the garden, and divorce her once.”  
What is meant by “I would
hate to commit an act of kufr when I am Muslim” is: I would hate to do a
deed that is contrary to Islam such as hating my husband or disobeying him
or not fulfilling his rights, and so on. 
See: Fath al-Baari
(9/400). 
But we advise you, before
you ask for a divorce, to try to set things straight first, for divorce is
something that Allaah hates and does not love. So try to appoint a wise man
from your family to speak to your husband and find out the reasons for the
problem, and try to reconcile between you. What you say about his being weak
can be worked out with your husband frankly, for Allaah is not too shy to
tell the truth. If it is the matter of sickness, there is nothing wrong with
him going to the doctor. 
But if it too difficult for
you and your attempts at reconciliation do not succeed, then in sha Allaah
there is nothing wrong with you asking for a divorce in that case. 
We ask Allaah to set our
affairs and those of all the Muslims straight. 
And Allaah knows best.

Praise be to Allah.
Firstly: 

Remember that this is one of the most serious of problems,
and that it may lead a person to doom. It may affect his mind and make him
go insane, or it may affect his physical health and make him ill, or it may
affect his religious commitment and cause him to be doomed, and lead him to
a bad end. So beware of continuing with this and strive hard, seeking the
help of your Lord, to rid yourself of this evil inclination, and look at
those who have been affected by this so that you may learn a lesson from
them. 

Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: 

It is narrated that a man fell in love with someone and
became totally infatuated with him, and that love became deeply rooted in
his heart until he fell ill, and took to his bed because of it, and that
person tried to keep away from him and felt great resentment towards him.
Intermediaries kept going between them until he promised to visit him. The
sick man was told of that and he rejoiced greatly and his anxiety was
dispelled, and he began to look forward to the appointment that had been
set. Whilst he was like that, the intermediary came and said: He came part
way with me then he went back, but I encouraged him and spoke to him, and he
said: He remembered me, and rejoiced about me, but I will not enter because
I will not expose myself to accusations. I tried to change his mind but he
insisted, and left. When the sick man heard that, he was filled with despair
and became worse than he had been before, and appeared to be in the throes
of death, and he started saying: 

Your pleasure is dearer to my heart than the mercy of the
Almighty, the Creator 

I said: O So and so, fear Allaah. He said: This is how I
feel.  

I got up and left, and I had barely passed through the door
when I heard the cry of death. 

Allaah forbid that we should meet with a bad end. 

End quote. 

Al-Jawaab al-Kaafi (p.
117) 

What do you think? Would a wise Muslim want to die as that
sick lover died, who gave precedence to the pleasure of his beloved over the
pleasure of His Creator Who created him and formed him and granted him
provision and guided him to Islam, and bestowed upon him blessings both
apparent and invisible? If you say that you would not want that – which is
what we think you would say – then you should know that you are travelling
the same path as him and that there may befall you what befell him, if you
do not check yourself. 

Remember that this is the path that was first travelled by
the people of Loot, namely the love of beardless youths, then Allaah
punished them in a way that no nation has been punished before or since.
Allaah turned their houses upside down and caused the earth to swallow them
up, and He pelted them with stones and took away their sight. 

Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allaah have mercy on him) said, explaining
different types of love: 

A kind of love that is incurs the wrath of Allaah and leads
to one being remote from His mercy and is the most harmful to a person’s
spiritual and worldly interests, is love of beardless youths. No one is
afflicted with this but one who become worthless in the sight of Allaah and
has been expelled from His door and whose heart is far away from Him. It is
one of the worst obstacles that keep a person away from Allaah, as one of
the salaf said: If a person becomes worthless in the sight of Allaah, He
afflicts him with the love of beardless youths. This is the love that
brought the punishment upon the people of Loot, and the only reason for this
punishment was this type of love. Allaah says (interpretation of the
meaning): “Verily, by your life (O Muhammad
صلىالله عليه وسلم), in their wild intoxication, they were wandering
blindly” [al-Hijr 15:72]. End quote. 

Al-Jawaab al-Kaafi (p. 173,
174) 

Secondly: 

Remember that there are causes for this calamity, and these
causes are things that the afflicted person has brought upon himself. The
one who wants to be saved from his predicament must look at these causes and
rid himself of them, otherwise he will be content with his situation and
unwilling to change it for something that is better. These causes may
include the following: 

1 – Weakness of faith and lack of love for Allaah in one’s
heart, and a lack of fear of His punishment. 

2 – Looking freely at beardless youths, and enjoying their
beauty and appearance. 

This is the first route that the affected person takes to
sin. His Lord has commanded him to lower his gaze and avoid looking at
haraam things, and his Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon
him) has enjoined him likewise. If he ignores the command and does that
which is forbidden, then Iblees has shot his poisoned arrow into his heart,
and finished him off. 

Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: 

Looking is the origin of most of
the problems that befall man, because looking generates thoughts, then
thoughts generate ideas, and ideas generate desires, and desires generate
will, which then becomes stronger and becomes firm resolve, in which case
the deed will inevitably be done unless there is something to prevent it.
Hence it was said that patience in lowering the gaze is easier than patience
in bearing the pain that comes afterwards. 

Al-Jawaab al-Kaafi,
p. 106 

Hence the scholars forbade looking at beardless youths, and
some of them regarded it as more haraam than looking at women. 

Al-Nawawi (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: 

Similarly the scholars forbade a man to look at the face of a
beardless youth if he is handsome, whether with or without desire, and
whether it is free of fitnah (temptation) or there is the fear thereof. This
is the correct view which was favoured by the scholars. This was stated by
al-Shaafa’i and the prominent scholars of his madhhab (may Allaah have mercy
on them). The evidence for this is that a beardless youth is, in some ways,
like a woman; he may be desired as a woman is desired, and his form may be
beautiful like that of a woman, and many of them may be more beautiful than
many women. The prohibition applies more to them for another reason, which
is that in their case there may result from attachment to them types of evil
that do not occur in the case of women. End quote.  

Sharh Muslim (4/31). 

Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (may Allaah have mercy on him)
said:

Looking at the face of a beardless youth with desire is like
looking as the face of a mahram or a non-mahram woman with desire, whether
the desire is desire for intercourse or the desire to derive pleasure from
looking. If he looks at his mother, sister or daughter with pleasure derived
from looking like the pleasure derived from looking at a non-mahram woman,
then it is known to everyone that this is haraam. The same applies to
looking at the face of a beardless youth, according to scholarly consensus.
End quote. 

Majmoo’ al-Fataawa (15/413) and
(21/245). 

And he (may Allaah have mercy on him) also said: 

The one who looks repeatedly at a beardless youth and the
like, or persists in that, and says “I am not looking with desire” is lying,
because if he has no need to look, then he is only looking because of the
pleasure that he feels in his heart as a result. As for an accidental
glance, it is forgiven, if he averts his gaze. 

Majmoo’ al-Fataawa (15/419) and
(21/251). 

The kind of looking with which these sick people are
afflicted includes what they watch on satellite channels and what they see
in newspapers and magazines, and on websites, of pictures of children and
beardless young men, and this is what provokes them to commit immoral
actions. 

3 – Falling short with regard to obligatory and naafil acts
of worship 

If the person who is afflicted with this problem prays on
time, fulfilling the conditions and obligatory parts of prayer, that will be
a deterrent that keeps him from falling into evil and immoral ways. Allaah
says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“Verily, As‑Salaah (the prayer) prevents from Al‑Fahsha’
(i.e. great sins of every kind, unlawful sexual intercourse) and Al‑Munkar
(i.e. disbelief, polytheism, and every kind of evil wicked deed)”

[al-‘Ankaboot 29:45]

So how about if he regularly performs sunnah and naafil
prayers? 

4 – Forsaking the Qur’aan and failing to read books about the
lives of righteous men and the imams 

The Book of Allaah contains guidance, light and healing; it
is the best protection for the Muslim against falling into sin and it is the
best remedy for the one who does fall into sin. 

If he reads books about the imams and biographies of the
scholars, he can take them as an example and become familiar with their
stories and rise above immorality and evil.  

5 – Falling short in seeking knowledge 

Knowledge is light, through which one may know what is halaal
and do it, and what is haraam and avoid it. Through it he may come to know
his Lord, may He be exalted, and His names, attributes and deeds. That will
generate in his heart a sense of shyness before his Lord and shyness before
His angels, so that he will not want to commit evil and immoral actions.
Through knowledge he will come to know the state of sinners and the
punishment that Allaah has prepared for them. 

6 – A lot of spare time in the lives of those who have this
problem 

If they kept themselves busy with acts of worship, sport,
permissible actions and seeking knowledge, they would not have time to spend
in thinking of haraam things, let alone doing them. 

7 – Making friends and keeping company with bad people 

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)
likened the bad friend to one who works the bellows: he will either burn his
companion’s clothes or he will notice a bad smell coming from him. 

8 – Not getting married 

Allaah has created natural desires in man, and He has made
the outlet for that in women. The permissible way to do that is marriage.
The one who goes against his natural state (fitrah) and diverts that desire
towards other males like him, is even lower than the animals, for the
animals that Allaah has created are in front of us, and do we ever see any
male mounting another male?  

Thirdly: 

The one who wants to deal with his problem and rid himself of
it should look for the reasons why he has fallen into the haraam actions of
looking, mixing and keeping company with beardless youths, and rid himself
of them by giving them up. Trying to treat the problem without addressing
the causes of sickness is a remedy that is doomed to failure and will never
succeed. There follow some treatment methods for the one who wants to rid
himself of this problem and try to free himself from the trap of the
shaytaan, and seek the pleasure of Allaah. These include: 

1 – Strengthening one’s faith by means of acts of worship,
including fasting, filling one’s heart with love of Allaah, and fearing His
punishment. 

2 – Preventing oneself from looking at beardless youths with
or without desire, and not keeping company with them or sitting with them at
all, and not being alone with them, even for teaching Qur’aan. 

Al-Nawawi (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: 

The favoured view is that being alone with a handsome,
non-mahram beardless youth is like being alone with a woman, and it is
haraam to be alone with him just as it is haraam to be alone with a woman,
unless one is with a group of men ofgood character. End quote. 

Sharh al-Nawawi (9/109). 

Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (may Allaah have mercy on him)
said: 

As for keeping company with beardless youths, especially with
one of them, as they do, which may lead to being alone with a handsome
beardless youth or letting him stay overnight with a man, and so on, these
are among the worst of evils, according to the Muslims, and according to the
Jews and Christians, and others. End quote. 

Majmoo’ al-Fataawa (11/542). 

Shaykh Muhammad ibn Saalih al-‘Uthaymeen (may Allaah have
mercy on him) said: 

Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (may Allaah have mercy on him)
said: It is not permissible to be alone with a beardless youth even if that
is with the intention of teaching him, because the shaytaan flows through
the son of Adam like blood. How many people have becomes infatuated with
these beardless youths and fell into the trap of the shaytaan and whims and
desires. This is a matter which must be warned against. End quote. 

Al-Sharh al-Mumti’ (1/294,
295). 

3 – Praying regularly and on time, and being keen to do
regular Sunnah and naafil prayers. 

4 – Reciting a portion of Qur’aan regularly, and reciting the
adhkaars for morning and evening, and reading about the lives and
biographies of the imams. 

5 – Seeking knowledge by reading, listening and watching.
This is something that is required of every Muslim. 

6 – Filling one’s time with acts of worship and obedience,
and that which will be of benefit in one’s spiritual and worldly affairs. 

7 – Shunning bad company and looking for righteous friends to
stay close to and benefit from their knowledge and good attitude. 

8 – Seeking to get married straight away, to satisfy one’s
desires in a permissible manner. 

9 – Seeking the help of Allaah by calling upon Him and asking
Him to save him from this sickness and calamity. 

10 – Thinking about those who have fallen into this haraam
kind of love and what it has led to, such as insanity, sickness and apostasy
– Allaah forbid. 

Ibn al-Qayyim said: 

The remedy for this awful sickness is to seek the help of the
One Who has control of the hearts and to turn sincerely to Him, keeping busy
with remembrance of Him (dhikr) and trying to fill his heart with love for
Him and closeness to Him, and thinking of the pain that may result from this
love and pleasure, which leads to the loss of that which is most loved and
the infliction of that which is most disliked. But if in spite of all that
he still feels that he prefers to persist in his misguidance, then he should
realize that there is no hope for him. 

Al-Jawaab al-Kaafi (p. 174). 

For more information please see the answer to question no.
27176. 

And Allaah knows best.

Praise be to Allah.
Firstly: 

Allaah has enjoined the Muslims to be sincere to one another,
and He has enjoined the one who has been advised sincerely to respond to the
command of Allaah, may He be exalted, and to refrain from the evil actions
that he is committing. Hence you must advise: 

1 – Your brother’s wife, and tell her to stop doing things
that Allaah has forbidden such as uncovering any part of her body in front
of her husband’s brothers, speaking softly to them and mistreating you. 

2 – Your brother himself, and tell him to stop his wife from
mixing with non-mahram men and to stop her from mistreating his sisters. And
he should pay attention to the evils that she is causing in the family, such
as creating division between his brothers and their wives. 

3 –Your parents should take a stance concerning the actions
of their son’s wife. 

4 – The husband’s brothers should not sit with their
brother’s wife or listen to what she says; they should beware lest she
become a cause of division among the family, and division between them and
their wives. 

Secondly: 

She has to know and respect the sacred limits set by Allaah,
and her husband – likewise – must realize that his wife is part of his flock
that Islam enjoins him to take care of. He should realize that he will be
responsible on the Day of Resurrection for her and her actions. 

Among the things that Islam has enjoined upon her are the
following: 

1 – She should preserve her modesty and chastity, and lower
her gaze and avoid looking at that which Allaah has forbidden. 

Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“And tell the believing women to lower their gaze (from
looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts (from illegal
sexual acts) and not to show off their adornment except only that which is
apparent (like both eyes for necessity to see the way, or outer palms of
hands or one eye or dress like veil, gloves, headcover, apron), and to draw
their veils all over Juyoobihinna (i.e. their bodies, faces, necks and
bosoms) and not to reveal their adornment except to their husbands, or their
fathers, or their husband’s fathers, or their sons, or their husband’s sons,
or their brothers or their brother’s sons, or their sister’s sons, or their
(Muslim) women (i.e. their sisters in Islam), or the (female) slaves whom
their right hands possess, or old male servants who lack vigour, or small
children who have no sense of feminine sex. And let them not stamp their
feet so as to reveal what they hide of their adornment. And all of you beg
Allaah to forgive you all, O believers, that you may be successful”

[al-Noor 24:31]

Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (may Allaah have mercy on him)
said: 

Many scholars are of the view that it is not permissible for
a woman to look at non-mahram men with desire. 

Majmoo’ al-Fataawa (15/396). 

2 – She should observe complete hijab before non-mahram men,
and she should realize that her husband’s brothers are also non-mahrams.
Indeed, she should be more careful about her clothing, adornment and speech
before them than before others. The verse from Soorat al-Noor quoted above
makes it clear that it is not permissible for her to show her adornments in
front of them. 

It was narrated from ‘Uqbah ibn ‘Aamir (may Allaah be pleased
with him) that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah
be upon him) said: “Beware of entering upon women.” An Ansaari man said: O
Messenger of Allaah, what about the in-law? He said: “The in-law is death.”

Narrated by al-Bukhaari (4934) and Muslim (2172). 

See Imam al-Nawawi’s comment on this hadeeth in the answer to
question no. 12837. 

3 – She should adhere to the Islamic rulings on speaking to
non-mahram men and on walking, so there should be no softness or allure in
her speech or actions. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“then be not soft in speech, lest he in whose heart is a
disease (of hypocrisy, or evil desire for adultery) should be moved with
desire, but speak in an honourable manner”

[al-Ahzaab 33:32]. 

4 – Avoiding wearing perfume that can be smelled by
non-mahrams. 

It was narrated that Abu Moosa al-Ash’ari (may Allaah be
pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of
Allaah be upon him) said: “Any woman who puts on perfume and passes by
people so that they may smell her fragrance is a zaaniyah (adulteress).” 

Narrated by al-Tirmidhi (2786), Abu Dawood (4173) and
al-Nasaa’i (5126; classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi Dawood.
 

5 – Refraining from being alone with her husband’s brothers
and mixing with them.  

It was narrated that Ibn ‘Abbaas (may Allaah be pleased with
him) said: I heard the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon
him) say: “No man should be alone with a woman unless she has a mahram with
her.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari (1763) and Muslim 91341). 

Shaykh ‘Abd al-‘Azeez ibn Baaz (may Allaah have mercy on him)
said: 

Is it permissible for a woman to sit with her husband’s
relatives if she is wearing Sunnah hijab? 

He replied: 

It is permissible for a woman to sit with her husband’s
brothers or her cousins and so on if she is wearing proper shar’i hijab,
which means covering the face and the rest of her body, because she is
‘awrah and a fitnah, if the sitting mentioned does not involve anything
dubious. As for gatherings in which there is anything dubious, that is not
permissible. The same applies to sitting with them and listening to music or
entertainment and the like. 

It is not permissible for her to be alone with any one of
them or with anyone else who is not a mahram for her, because the Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “No man should be
alone with a woman unless she has a mahram with her.” Saheeh – agreed upon.
And he (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “No man is
alone with a woman but the shaytaan is the third one present.” Narrated by
Imam Ahmad with a saheeh isnaad from the hadeeth of ‘Umar ibn al-Khattaab
(may Allaah be pleased with him). End quote. 

Fataawa al-Mar’ah al-Muslimah
(1/422, 423). 

The husband should heed these commands and prohibitions, and
he should realize that he is responsible for his wife, so he must advise her
and direct her to that which is good. Guiding her is preferable, in our
view, to letting her go or divorcing her. 

The parents should also take a firm stance regarding this
issue. The mother should stand up for what is right, and not let her
emotions take precedence over sharee’ah and common sense. She should
understand that if her son’s wife carries on in this manner, this will
destroy her son’s family and the negative effects of that are obvious as
mentioned in the question.  

The wife’s brothers should also fear Allaah with regard to
themselves and be content with the halaal things that Allaah has blessed
them with. They should advise their brother and guide him and his wife lest
their relationships with their own wives be spoiled. They should also lower
their gaze and avoid mixed gatherings. 

We ask Allaah to set the affairs of all the Muslims
straight. 

And Allaah knows best.