Category: Muamalah

Praise be to Allah.In several previous answers
we have discussed the ruling on mixing at work and in places of study.
Please see the answer to question no.
1200 and 103044. 
With regard to your
problem, if you cannot leave school because of your social situation, then
you must look for another branch or faculty of the university where the
opportunities to deal with males and mix with them will be less, because the
basic principle of sharee’ah is that if evil cannot be warded off entirely,
then it must be reduced as much as possible. 
If you cannot manage to
make this change that we have suggested, then you have to observe complete
hijab, lower your gaze and be chaste of speech in all circumstances, and
reduce the opportunities of mixing with males. If you need something, then
ask females for it, and try to work out something with your professor so
that your projects will be done with female classmates. 
If that is not possible,
then it will be your responsibility to careful and mix less with men; beware
of being alone with one of them, even if it is for the purpose of study, and
keep your dealings with males to a minimum. If you are able to refuse to mix
with them sometimes or for some work, then do that. Let your dealings be
serious and do not let them get to know you or let the conversation go
beyond the topic of study. 
If you feel that you are
becoming fond of someone or he is becoming fond of you, then leave this
group and join another, even if your grades fall or your level of academic
achievement is affected, within bearable limits. 
Ask Allaah to protect you
and help you to avoid temptations both obvious and hidden, and seek help
with patience, prayer, fasting and remembrance of Allaah (dhikr). 
See also the answer to
question no. 72448.

Praise be to Allah.It was narrated that Abu Shurayh al-‘Adawi
said: I heard with my own two ears and I saw with my own two eyes when the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) spoke and
said: “Whoever believes in Allaah and the Last Day, let him honour his neighbour; whoever believes in Allaah and the Last Day, let him honour his
guest as he is entitled.” It was said, ‘What is his entitlement, O Messenger of Allaah?” He said, “[The best treatment] for one day and one night;
and hospitality is for three days, and anything after that is charity bestowed upon him. And whoever believes in Allaah and the Last Day, let him,
speak good words or else remain silent.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 5560; Muslim, 69. This version was narrated by al-Bukhaari. 
The guest has rights, as the Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said. There should be no doubt about this matter. If guests come without being invited, they should be
honoured, as the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said. 
Yes, if they are bad friends or are those who
have nothing better to do and impose themselves on others all the time, then they should be treated in a manner that befits them, because they
annoy the people with their actions.  
But if it is your husband who is inviting a
lot of people to your house, then in this case you should speak to him in a gentle manner, and come to an agreement about how to invite people, so
that he will not invite anyone without speaking to you first, and you can agree to reduce the number of invitations in a suitable manner. 
You – may Allaah bless you – should not
express displeasure to your husband when the guests are there, because this is something that will make matters worse and will not solve the
problem. You have to be patient, because patience is the key to finding a way out. 
Strive to create a calm atmosphere in your
house, with good words and kind treatment. Some husband may resort to inviting a lot of friends over in an effort to relax, because their wives
may not be good at creating an atmosphere that suits their husbands, so that makes them look for this atmosphere with their friends. So try to
understand your husband’s nature so that you can create a suitable atmosphere that will make him happy and relaxed, which is what is he is looking
for with his friends. 
We ask Allaah to set things straight between
you, and to help you to do that which He loves and which pleases Him.

Praise be to Allah.
Firstly: 

We ask Allaah to relieve your distress and make things easy
for you, and to help you to obey Him and worship Him properly. Remember that
the alienation that you are feeling is a good sign for you, The Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Islam began as something
strange and will revert to being something strange, so glad tidings to the
strangers.” Narrated by Muslim (145). 

The word tooba (translated here as “glad tidings”) has many
meanings, such as goodness and honour, a great tree in Paradise, joy and
happiness, and many other meanings, all of which may apply here. 

Al-Sindi (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: 

“Strange” means because its followers are small in numbers.
The basic meaning of ghareeb (stranger) is one who is far from his home. 

“And will revert to being something strange” means that few
will adhere to it and help others to do so, even if the Muslims are many.  

“to the strangers” means those who follow its commands. 

“Tooba” is derived from the word tayyib (good), and it is
interpreted as referring to Paradise or to a great tree that grows there. 

This indicates that supporting Islam and obeying its commands
may require the one who does that to leave his homeland and be patient in
bearing the hardships of being away from his homeland, as was the case when
it first began. 

Sharh Sunan Ibn Majaah (hadeeth
no 3986. 

Secondly: 

You have the best example in the Messenger of Allaah
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). He brought light to his people,
but they insisted on remaining in the darkness of kufr and ignorance. They
accused him of being a sorcerer, soothsayer or madman, but he was patient in
calling them, and he did not get fed up of repeating his call, using
different methods of calling individuals and groups, calling in secret and
in the open, until he attained great success. Similarly, daa’iyahs who came
after him called the kuffaar to Islam, and called sinners to obedience, and
called innovators to the Sunnah. Many of them experienced hardship, distress
and difficulties, but that did not stop them from persisting in da’wah. Were
it not for that, Islam would not have reached your country, the Maldives! 

Think about these examples, and do what they did, and be
patient as they were patient, so that you may attain the pleasure of Allaah.
What you hear of mockery and being called “Wahhabis” was said by those who
came before them, and the fools still repeat it with regard to those who
promote the Sunnah, but that does not harm them or make them stop conveying
the religion of Allaah. 

Thirdly: 

In addition to being patient in calling people, we advise you
to select wise people among other women and your relatives to convey the
religion of Allaah to them and remind them of the truths of Islam, for if
people are happy to belong to Islam, that does not prevent them from
following the Sunnah, but there may be other obstacles that are preventing
them from coming to the path of truth, such as misguided scholars and
proponents of bid’ah, or specious arguments and whims and desires, and so
on. It may also be due to the fact that we are failing to convey the truth
of Islam to them, or we do not have wise ways of conveying it. 

You have to be gentle and patient, and select the wisest
people, and address them politely. Use different means such as audio tapes,
video lectures and books, and you may see some good results. 

Fourthly:  

Strive to make your house the focal point of this da’wah.
Start with your husband and children, so that this will become a house of
blessing for all people. Remember that our mother Khadeejah bint Khuwaylid
was the first one of this ummah to become Muslim, and she was the first one
to support the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) in
conveying the message and calling her daughters to Islam. Her house was the
first house to become Muslim, and from it the call of goodness spread to all
corners of the earth, so be like her and follow her example. 

In the answer to question no.
9380 you will find more advice and
suggestions, which we hope you will read. There is no need to repeat them
here. 

And Allaah is the Source of strength.

Praise be to Allah.We praise Allaah for having blessed you and
guided you to obey Him and please Him, and that your husband has been guided to change the way he treats you. We hope that this will give you hope
that your husband will improve and mend his ways, in sha Allah. 
You should note that a righteous woman can
change many of her husband’s attitude and habits, if she goes about doing so in a wise and kindly manner, without being hasty. 
Some husbands are put off by repeated advice
from their wives, especially if that is in the presence of their children, because they may see that as an affront to their dignity or a
belittling of their character. 
Hence you should pay proper attention to
that, and choose the right moment to advise him from time to time. You should also be kind and loving towards him when offering advice, in the
hope that he will respond. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 
“Invite (mankind, O Muhammad) to the way of your Lord (i.e. Islam) with wisdom (i.e. with the
Divine Revelation and the Qur’aan) and fair preaching, and argue with them in a way that is better”
[al-Nahl 16:125]
And the Prophet (peace and blessings of
Allaah be upon him) said: “Kindness is not present in a thing but it makes it beautiful, and it is not missing from a thing but it makes it ugly.”
(Narrated by Muslim, 2594, from the hadeeth of ‘Aa’ishah, may Allaah be pleased with her). 
The husband is the most deserving of people
to be treated kindly, because of his status and position. 
We advise you to use various means to
accomplish your mission, such as giving him some tapes and books, or bringing them home and leaving them near him, turning to Allaah and asking
Him to put things right between you and to open your husband’s heart so that he will know the truth and act in accordance with it. 
And Allaah knows best.

Praise be to Allah.
Firstly: 

Marriage is not permissible and is not valid except with a
wali, according to the majority of scholars, because of the words of the
Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him): “There is no
marriage without a wali.” Narrated by Abu Dawood (2085), al-Tirmidhi (1101)
and Ibn Majaah (1881) from the hadeeth of Abu Moosa al-Ash’ari; classed as
saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi. 

And he (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:
“There is no marriage except with a wali and two witnesses of good
character.” Narrated by al-Bayhaqi from the hadeeth of ‘Imraan and
‘Aa’ishah; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’ 7557. 

And he (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:
“Any woman who gets married without the permission of her guardian, her
marriage is invalid, her marriage is invalid, her marriage is invalid. But
if the marriage is consummated then the mahr is hers because she has allowed
him to be intimate with her. If they dispute, then the ruler is the guardian
of the one who has no guardian.”  Narrated by Ahmad (24417), Abu Dawood
(2083) and al-Tirmidhi (1102); classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh
al-Jaami’ no. 2709. 

The woman’s guardian is her father; then her paternal
grandfathers, no matter how far the line of ascent reaches; then her son and
his sons, no matter how far the line of descent reaches (this applies if she
has a son); then her (full) brother through her father and mother; then her
(half) brother through her father only; then their sons, no matter how far
the line of descent reaches; then her paternal uncles; then their children,
no matter how far the line of descent reaches; then the father’s paternal
uncles; then the ruler. (al-Mughni 9/355). 

But if the wali repeatedly refuses the proposal of a
compatible suitor, he is to be regarded as preventing the marriage of the
female relative under his care, and his guardianship is thus rendered null
and void, and that right is transferred to the next closest relative on the
father’s side. 

Secondly: 

The compatibility that counts here is compatibility in
religious commitment. There is no difference between an Arab and a non-Arab,
or between black and white, except in terms of taqwa (piety). Some of the
fuqaha’ listed other conditions of compatibility, such as lineage and so on.
The fact that the suitor is a teacher and you are a (university) tutor does
not mean that he is not compatible with you, so long as he is of good
character and religiously committed, and he is comfortably off in material
terms, as you mentioned. 

Thirdly: 

What we think is that you should try to advise your father
again, and seek help in doing so from someone who will be acceptable to him
such as a relative or friend. If he agrees to give you in marriage to this
suitor, this is what you want; otherwise you should refer to the matter to
the guardian (wali) who comes after him, according to the order mentioned
above. If he refuses to arrange your marriage, or there is a conflict among
the guardians, then refer the matter to the qaadi and appoint him to arrange
your marriage. 

Fourthly: 

What this guardian and others like him do is very strange,
when they turn their daughters into trade goods to be offered to the highest
bidder, or to the one who is better off than others. Even stranger than that
is when they claim that the daughter has no need to get married! What does
this poor man understand about need? Doesn’t he know that people need
comfort, love and compassion, and that they have natural needs that Allaah
has created in them, by His wisdom, may He be glorified? The woman’s wali
has to fear Allaah and understand that preventing his daughter or sister
from getting married to a compatible suitor who is pleased with her is
regarded as wrongdoing and transgression and implies that he is an evildoer
(faasiq) whose good character is sullied and whose testimony is to be
rejected. 

Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:  

If the wali refused to let a woman marry a man whose
religious commitment and character are good, then guardianship passes to the
next closest male relative on the father’s side, then the next closest and
so on. If they refuse to arrange her marriage, as usually happens, then
guardianship passes to the qaadi, and the qaadi should arrange the woman’s
marriage. If the matter is referred to him and he knows that her guardians
have refused to arrange her marriage, then he should do that, because he is
the wali in cases where there is no specific wali.   

The fuqaha’ (may Allaah have mercy on them) stated that if
the wali repeatedly refuses marriage proposals from suitable men, then he is
a faasiq (evildoer) and is no longer regarded as being of good character or
as being a wali, rather according to the best known view of the madhhab of
Imam Ahmad, he also forfeits the right to lead prayers and it is not valid
to offer any congregational prayer behind him. This is a serious matter.  

Some people, as we have referred to above, refuse offers of
marriage from compatible men, but the girl may feel too shy to come to the
qaadi to ask for her marriage to be arranged. This is something that does
happen. But she should weigh the pros and cons, and decide which has the
more damaging consequences, staying without a husband and letting her wali
control her life according to his mood or his whims and desires, and when
she grows old and no longer wants to get married, then he will arrange her
marriage, or going to the qaadi and asking him to arrange her marriage
because that is her right according to sharee’ah. 

 Undoubtedly the second alternative is preferable, which is
that she should go to the qaadi and ask him to arrange her marriage, because
she has the right to that, and because her going to the qaadi and his
arranging her marriage serves the interests of others too, because others
will come just as she has, and her coming to the qaadi will serve as a
deterrent to those who wrong those whom Allaah has put under their care and
prevent them from marrying compatible men. In other words, this serves three
purposes:  

1.     The woman’s own interests, so that she will not stay
without a husband.

2.     The interests of others, because it will open the door
for women who are waiting for someone to set a precedent they can follow.

3.     Preventing those oppressive walis who make decisions
for their daughters or other women under their guardianship according to
their own moods or what they themselves want.  

This also serves the purpose of establishing the command of
the Messenger (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), who said: “If
there comes to you (to propose marriage to your daughter) one with whose
religious commitment and character you are pleased, then marry (your
daughter) to him, for if you do not do that, there will be fitnah
(tribulation) on earth and widespread corruption.”    

It also serves a specific interest, which is arranging
marriages for those who are suitable in terms of religious commitment and
character, thus protecting them from going astray and falling into haraam.  

Quoted from Fataawa Islamiyyah, 3/148 

We ask Allaah to help you to do that which in which is
goodness and success. 

And Allaah knows best.

Praise be to Allah.Firstly: 
You have done a number of
things that are clearly and obviously contrary to sharee’ah, hence we are
surprised at the end of your letter where you say “I do not want to anger
Allaah or commit sins”! Whatever the case, this is the bad consequences and
effect of sin, which is loss of reason and dimming of its light that would
lead to the straight path. 
Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allaah
have mercy on him) said, describing the effects of sin: 
… Sin corrupts reason, for
reason is light, and sin inevitably extinguishes the light of reason. If its
light is extinguished it becomes weak and imperfect. One of the salaf said:
No one disobeys Allaah but his reason is lost. This is obvious, because if
his reason was present, it would have prevented him from committing sin when
he is under the full control of Allaah, may He be exalted, or how could he
commit sin openly when He is watching him, and he is enjoying His blessings
and His angels are bearing witness over him and watching him, and the
teachings of the Qur’aan forbid that and the implication of faith and the
remembrance of death and the Fire should restrain him. The good of this
world and the Hereafter that he misses out on because of sin is many times
greater than the pleasure he may get from it. Can anyone who takes lightly
all that we have mentioned above still have sound reason?  
… If sins accumulate, then
a seal is placed on the sinner’s heart and he becomes one of the heedless,
as one of the salaf said concerning the words of Allaah (interpretation of
the meaning): “Nay! But on their hearts is the Raan (covering of sins and
evil deeds) which they used to earn” [al-Mutaffifeen 83:14] – he said:
This is sin after sin. Al-Hasan said: It is sin upon sin, until the heart
becomes blind. And someone else said: When their sins and acts of
disobedience become many, they encircle their hearts. 
The basic principle
concerning that is that the heart is corroded (lit. rusts) by sin, so if sin
increases, the corrosion prevails until it becomes raan, then it prevails
until it becomes a seal, and the heart becomes covered and enveloped. If
that happens after he has been guided and had insight, then he will be
reversed and turned upside down. At that point his enemy takes over and
leads him wherever he wants. 
Al-Jawaab al-Kaafi li
man sa’ala ‘an al-Dawa al-Shaafi (p. 39). 
We are sorry to tell you
that each of the sins that you have committed led to another; they affected
your reason and your heart, and extinguished their light. 
Secondly: 
The things that you did
which go against sharee’ah are: 
1.
The haraam relationship
which you formed with your first husband, before you married him. This is
clear from your saying that it was a love marriage, and from your going
against your family who refused to give you in marriage to him, and now you
are doing the same thing with another man when you are still married to the
first husband! 
We have explained the
ruling on correspondence between the sexes in the answer to question no.
34841,
26890 and
23349. 
With regard to haraam
relationships, please see the answer to questions no.
1114,
9465,
21933 and
10532. 
2.
It seems that your job
involves mixing with strange men. If what we think is correct, then it is a
sin. If it is not mixed, or it is not in a haraam field such as banking or
insurance – then there is no sin on you. 
Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allaah
have mercy on him) said: 
There is no doubt that
enabling women to mix with men is the basis of all calamities and evils, and
it is one of the greatest causes of calamity that affects everybody, as well
as being one of the causes of corruption in public and private affairs.
Mixing of men with women is the cause of a great deal of immoral actions and
zina, and it is one of the causes of widespread death and ongoing plagues.  
Al-Turuq al-Hukmiyyah
(p. 407). 
See also the answer to
question no. 1200. 
For information on women
working and the conditions of it being permissible, please see the answer to
question no. 22397.  
In the answer to question
no. 6666 there is important advice
to do with women working in a mixed environment. 
3.
You left the marital home
without your husband’s permission, and this was based on something that you
heard from his mother and his complaints to her. This does not make it
permissible for you to leave the marital home without your husband’s
permission. You have the right to a separate home with your husband, but it
seems that you waived this right when you first married him and agreed to
stay with him in his mother’s house. It would have been better for you to
work out the agreement with him when you agreed to help him to bear his
living expenses and pay off his debt, and to oblige him to do so via the
shar’i court or good and knowledgeable people whom you appointed as
arbitrators between you. As for your actions and your leaving without his
permission, this is not permissible. Allaah forbade women who are revocably
divorced (first or second talaaq) to leave their houses after the divorce,
so how about married women? Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 
“O Prophet (صلى
الله عليه وسلم)! When you divorce women, divorce them at their ‘Iddah
(prescribed periods) and count (accurately) their ‘Iddah (periods). And fear
Allaah your Lord (O Muslims). And turn them not out of their (husband’s)
homes nor shall they (themselves) leave, except in case they are guilty of
some open illegal sexual intercourse. And those are the set limits of
Allaah. And whosoever transgresses the set limits of Allaah, then indeed he
has wronged himself. You (the one who divorces his wife) know not it may be
that Allaah will afterward bring some new thing to pass (i.e. to return her
back to you if that was the first or second divorce)”
[al-Talaaq 65:1]
4.
The worst and most
reprehensible of these actions that go against sharee’ah is your sinful
relationship with that evildoer who pretended that he was saving you from
worldly problems and presented himself in the guise of a wise advisor, but
in fact he was a wolf in sheep’s clothing. 
How could this evildoer
agree to meet you and talk with you, and sit with you and discuss with you,
and worst of all, he audaciously asked you to marry him when you were still
married to another man?! What is very strange is that you yourself say that
your husband himself was presenting himself falsely as a good man, and that
you were blind when you accepted him as a husband. Do you think that now you
are able to see? By Allaah, you are not able to see, and your blindness with
regard to your first husband was less serious than your blindness now. You
were not married when you formed a relationship with him, but now you are
married and you have formed a haraam relationship with that evildoer, who is
not content only to come between you and your husband, turn your heart
against him and make you hate the idea of going back to him, rather he has
added to that his request for you to marry him when you are still married to
another man. 
What you have done is
haraam, beyond any shadow of a doubt. It is revolting and reprehensible even
to non-Muslims. No husband would want his wife to be in the situation you
are in. No wise person – let alone a Muslim who knows the rulings of
sharee’ah – would approve of your marrying this evildoer who has shown his
true colours and evil attitude before marriage. That will save you from
going though another bitter experience with him. Do you think that he will
forget how you betrayed your husband with him? Do you think that he will
trust you not to repeat what you did with him? Do not hesitate to cut off
all ties with him, for it is a haraam relationship on the one hand, and on
the other hand he is not fit to be a trusted husband when he has done such
haraam, abhorrent actions. 
For information on the
qualities of a righteous husband, please see the answers to questions no.
5202 and
6942. 
Thirdly: 
We hope that your regret
and taking stock of yourself are a good sign that you have come back to the
truth and that your conscience which criticizes you for abhorrent actions
and for falling short in acts of obedience to Allaah has come back to life.
 
Beware of following the
footsteps of the shaytaan, for they lead to doom. Allaah says
(interpretation of the meaning): 
“O you who believe!
Follow not the footsteps of Shaytaan (Satan). And whosoever follows the
footsteps of Shaytaan (Satan), then, verily, he commands Al‑Fahsha’ [i.e. to
commit indecency (illegal sexual intercourse)], and Al‑Munkar [disbelief and
polytheism (i.e. to do evil and wicked deeds; and to speak or to do what is
forbidden in Islam)]. And had it not been for the Grace of Allaah and His
Mercy on you, not one of you would ever have been pure from sins”
[al-Noor 24:21].
Do not ignore the
opportunity to regret and repent before there comes a Day when neither
dirhams nor dinars, neither close friends nor intercessors will benefit a
man, and he will bite at his hands in anguish, as Allaah says
(interpretation of the meaning): 
“And (remember) the Day
when the Zaalim (wrongdoer, oppressor, polytheist) will bite at his hands,
he will say: ‘Oh! Would that I had taken a path with the Messenger (Muhammad
صلى الله عليه وسلم).
28. ‘Ah! Woe to me!
Would that I had never taken so‑and‑so as a Khalîl (an intimate friend)!
29. ‘He indeed led me
astray from the Reminder (this Qur’aan) after it had come to me. And
Shaytaan (Satan) is to man ever a deserter in the hour of need’”
[al-Furqaan 25:27-29].
In order to cleanse
yourself of sin and protect your religious commitment, faith and chastity,
strive to do the following: 
1.
Pray regularly on time with
proper focus and humility before Allaah: 
It was narrated from Abu
Hurayrah that he heard the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of
Allaah be upon him) say: “What do you think, if there was a river by the
door of one of you and he bathed in it five times a day, would any speck of
dirt be left on him?” They said: Not a speck of dirt would be left on him.
He said: “That is the likeness of the five prayers, by means of which Allaah
erases sins.”
Narrated by al-Bukhaari
(505) and Muslim (667). 
2.
Keeping company with
righteous women who adhere to obedience to Allaah. 
It was narrated that Abu
Moosa al-Ash’ari (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of
Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The likeness
of a good companion and a bad companion is that of one who carries musk and
one who works the bellows. With the carrier of musk, either he will give you
some or you will buy some from him, or you will notice a good smell from
him; as for the one who works the bellows, either he will burn your clothes
or you will notice a bad smell from him.”
Narrated by al-Bukhaari
(1995) and Muslim (2628). 
Imam al-Nawawi (may Allaah
have mercy on him) said: It points to the virtue of sitting with righteous,
good and honourable people, people of good attitude, awareness, knowledge
and manners, and indicates that it is not allowed to sit with evil people
and followers of innovation, those who backbite about people or who are
foul-mouthed and have nothing better to do, and other blameworthy things.
End quote. 
Sharh Muslim,
16/178  
3.
Not listening to songs,
music and haraam entertainment. 
Allaah says (interpretation
of the meaning):
“And of mankind is he
who purchases idle talks (i.e. music, singing) to mislead (men) from the
path of Allaah without knowledge, and takes it (the path of Allaah, or the
Verses of the Qur’aan) by way of mockery. For such there will be a
humiliating torment (in the Hell‑fire).
7. And when Our Verses
(of the Qur’aan) are recited to such a one, he turns away in pride, as if he
heard them not — as if there were deafness in his ear. So announce to him a
painful torment”
[Luqmaan 31:6-7]
Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allaah
have mercy on him) said:  
Singers and those who
listen to them have a share of blame commensurate with the degree to which
they are distracted by songs from the Qur’aan. … This is made clear by the
fact that you will not find anyone who has an interest in songs and
listening to music but he will be somewhat misguided from the path of
guidance in terms of knowledge or action, and he is less eager to listen to
Qur’aan rather than songs, such that if he has the opportunity to listen
either to songs or to the Qur’aan, he will turn away from the latter to the
former, and listening to Qur’aan will be burdensome for him, and he may go
so far as to tell the reciter to be quiet and tell the singer to carry on,
and never have his fill of listening to songs.  
Ighaathat al-Lahfaan
(1/240, 241). 
Finally: 
Shaykh Saalih al-Fawzaan
(may Allaah preserve him) said: 
The Muslim must repent from
sin and hasten to do so, in obedience to the command of Allaah, so as to
save himself from the punishment and wrath of Allaah. It is not permissible
for him to continue in sin or to delay repentance in order to obey his nafs
(self) or the shaytaan, or to wait until people criticize him. Rather he
must fear Allaah and not fear people. Even if they are committing sin it is
not permissible for him to follow their example, and he must also oblige his
family to repent, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):  
“O you who believe! Ward
off yourselves and your families against a Fire (Hell) whose fuel is men and
stones”
[al-Tahreem 66:6].
He should not be kind to
them with regard to matters that anger Allaah. 
Al-Muntaqa min Fataawa
al-Fawzaan (2/p. 293). 
And Allaah knows best.

Praise be to Allah.If you spoke about your friend out of fear for her and hoping to save her, then there is no sin on you, but you should have waited and should not have been so hasty. You do not have to offer kafaarah or do anything else, unless you got carried away in speaking about her and said something about her that she dislikes, in which case you should tell her and seek her forgiveness for backbiting about her. If she has heard what you said about her, then you have to apologize to her and ask her to forgive you. If she did not hear of what you said about her, then do not tell her, rather make a lot of du’aa’ for her, pray for forgiveness, and speak well of her and mention her good points to those to whom you spoke about her. We ask Allah to forgive us and you. 
See also the answer to question no. 6308. 
With regard to the problem of your brother’s doubts about your behaviour, this may be solved by asking Allah to guide him and to make him stop that. Then you should adhere to Allah’s command of hijab, lowering the gaze, and avoiding non-mahram men. Do a lot of naafil prayers and fasts, and give in charity. Try to speak to him frankly and warn him against being suspicious of you. 
Undoubtedly if your brother sees that you are righteous he will no longer doubt you, and that suspicion will disappear from his heart, in sha Allah. 
And Allah knows best.

Praise be to Allah.
It is unfortunate that there are many such cases among
siblings, and what makes the matter even more regrettable is that the reason
for this dispute is money. In fact I appreciate our sister’s good nature and
wisdom, since she has preferred peace to entering into a dispute with her
brother, and she has tried to contain the problem and solve it within the
family. This in itself should be considered the beginning of a proper
solution. As for the answer to this question, it may be answered in the
following points: 

Firstly: 

The money which your father had saved for you and gone to
great lengths for your benefit, is the due of everyone whom Allaah has
decreed has a share of inheritance. Each of you has a share allotted by
sharee’ah after the death of your father; none of you have the right to keep
this money for himself and deny it to the rest of the heirs, because by
doing so he is transgressing upon the rights of others. Allaah says
(interpretation of the meaning): 

“but transgress not the limits. Truly, Allaah likes not
the transgressors”[al-Baqarah 2:190]

It was narrated by Abu Harrah al-Raqaashi that his paternal
uncle said: “I was holding on to the reins of the she-camel of Messenger of
Allaah SAWS (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), and the Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “A man’s wealth is
not permissible except with his consent.” (Narrated by Ahmad, 20172; classed
as saheeh al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Irwaa’, 1761). 

On this basis, what your brother did by taking this money is
considered to be a haraam action, especially since he took the money when
your father was still alive and he is not entitled to any of the money until
after his father died. Indeed, after his father’s death he is not entitled
to anything more than the share which Allaah has allocated to him in the
laws of inheritance. So what your brother must do is to repent to Allaah and
restore the rights of people. 

Secondly: 

The will which your father wrote was not acceptable according
to sharee’ah, and it is not permissible for you to demand that it be
executed, because a person who is designated as an heir according to
sharee’ah cannot be given something in the will (wasiyyah). The
Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Allaah has
given each person his rights and no will can be made in favour of an heir.”
(Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 2120; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh
al-Tirmidhi, 1722), So it is not permissible for you to demand it, even
if your brother has taken your money. But you may demand what Allaah has
granted you in the laws of inheritance. 

Thirdly: 

You should continue to advise and guide them and try to bring
them together as much as you can. Remember that you will be rewarded by
Allaah for that. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“There is no good in most of their
secret talks save (in) him who orders Sadaqah (charity in Allaah’s Cause),
or Ma‘roof (Islamic Monotheism and all the
good and righteous deeds which Allaah
has ordained), or conciliation between mankind; and he who does this,
seeking the good Pleasure of Allaah, We shall give him a great reward”
[al-Nisa’ 4:114]

Keep telling your sisters not to demand more than they are
entitled to, and that demanding one-third is something that is not
permitted. Try also to convince your brother, in a good way, to give your
sisters that which is rightfully theirs, and to show mercy to his sisters
after his father’s death instead of being a torment to them. You will
undoubtedly face problems in doing that, but be patient. We ask Allaah to
make you steadfast.

 Fourthly:

 If you are doing the right thing, it will not matter if
people blame you or accuse you of being biased. Be steadfast in adhering to
the truth. Finally, we call on all of you to fear Allaah and to ward off
this scandalous dispute which does not make anyone happy apart from the
Shaytaan, those in whose hearts is a disease and everyone who enjoys the
troubles of others or is filled with malicious envy.

 I ask Allaah to put things right between you. May Allaah
bless our Prophet Muhammad.

Praise be to Allah.
Firstly: 

The
mufassireen differed concerning the meaning of the verse (interpretation of
the meaning):  

“Bad
statements are for bad people (or bad women for bad men) and bad people for
bad statements (or bad men for bad women)”

[al-Noor
24:26]

Some of them
said that it refers to bad and good words, so the meaning of the verse is:
Evil words are for evil men, and evil people are for evil words, and good
words are for good people, and good people are for good words. 

Others said
that it refers to evil and good actions. So the meaning of the verse is:
Evil actions are for evil men, and evil people are for evil actions, and
good actions are for good people, and good people are for good actions. 

The third
opinion concerning this verse is that evil and good refer to people with
regard to marriage. So the meaning of the verse is: evil women are for evil
men, and evil men are for evil women, and good women are for good men, and
good men are for good women. 

There is no
reason why the verse cannot be understood in all these senses, although the
most obvious meaning is the first one mentioned, and this is the opinion of
the majority of mufassireen. The second view comes next. 

Shaykh ‘Abd
al-Rahmaan al-Sa’di (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:  

“Bad
statements are for bad people (or bad women for bad men) and bad people for
bad statements (or bad men for bad women)”
means all evil men, women, words and actions that are fit for evil and in
accordance with it or accompanied by it and in harmony with it, and all good
men, women, words and actions that are fit for good and in accordance with
it or accompanied by it and in harmony with it. This explanation is general
in meaning and nothing is excluded from that. One of the greatest
application of this is that with regard to the Prophets – especially the
Messengers of strong will, and especially their leader, Muhammad (peace
and blessings of Allaah be upon him), who is the best among all the good of
creation – only the best of women are suitable for them. So the one who
slanders ‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) in this manner is
slandering the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him),
which was the aim of the slander (al-ifk) fabricated by the
hypocrites. The mere fact that she was the wife of the Messenger (peace
and blessings of Allaah be upon him) confirms that she was nothing but good
and pure and innocent of these reprehensible matters. 

So how about
when she is the siddeeqah of women, the best, most knowledgeable and purest
of them, the beloved of the Messenger of the Lord of the Worlds? Revelation
did not come down to him when he was under the same cover as any of his
wives except her. Then the verse states clearly, so that there will be no
opportunity for any propagator of falsehood to say anything and no room for
any doubt whatsoever:  

“such (good
people) are innocent of (every) bad
statement which they say”

[al-Noor
24:26]

The reference
is primarily to ‘Aa’ishah, and then to the believing chaste women. 

“for
them is forgiveness” [al-Noor 24:26]

meaning,
forgiveness for all of their sins. 

“and
Rizqun Kareem (generous provision, i.e. Paradise)”
i.e., in Paradise, coming from the Generous Lord. 

Tafseer
al-Sa’di
(p. 563). 

Secondly: 

What you have
quoted about the killing of a man who slandered ‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be
pleased with her) is true. This is what the Muslim rulers should do, which
is to execute everyone who slanders ‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with
her), because impugning the honour of ‘Aa’ishah is disbelief in the Qur’aan,
and impugning the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him).
Either of these actions implies kufr which puts a person beyond the pale of
Islam, and the one who does it deserves to be executed for apostasy. 

In
al-Mawsoo’ah al-Fiqhiyyah (22/185) it says: 

The fuqaha’
are unanimously agreed that the one who slanders ‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be
pleased with her) has disbelieved the clear, unambiguous statement of the
Qur’aan that was revealed concerning her, and hence he is a kaafir. Allaah
says – in the hadeeth of the slander (al-ifk), after Allaah declared that
she was innocent – “Allaah forbids you from it and warns you not to
repeat the like of it forever, if you are believers” [al-Noor 24:18]. So
the one who goes back to that is not a believer. 

Are all the
other wives of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)
regarded as being like her? 

The Hanafis
and the Hanbalis, according to the correct opinion, which was favoured by
Ibn Taymiyah, say that they are all like her. They quoted as evidence the
verse in which Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“Bad
statements are for bad people (or bad women for bad men) and bad people for
bad statements (or bad men for bad women). Good statements are for good
people (or good women for good men) and good people for good statements (or
good men for good women): such (good people) are innocent of (every) bad
statement which they say; for them is forgiveness, and Rizqun Kareem
(generous provision, i.e. Paradise)”

[ al-Noor
24:26]

Slandering
them implies slander of the Messenger (peace and blessings of Allaah be
upon him) and impugning his honour, which is forbidden. 

The other
view, which is that of the Shaafa’is and the other view of the Hanbalis, is
that they – apart from ‘Aa’ishah – are like the rest of the Sahaabah; the
one who reviles them is to be flogged, because he is a slanderer. End
quote. 

Shaykh
Muhammad ibn Saalih al-‘Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: 

Slandering
‘Aa’ishah with regard to that of which Allaah has declared her innocent is
kufr, because it is disbelieving the Qur’aan. With regard to slandering
other wives of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)
there are two scholarly opinions, the sounder of which is that it is kufr,
because it is a slander against the Prophet (peace and blessings of
Allaah be upon him), because “Bad statements are for bad people (or bad
women for bad men).”  

Majmoo’
Fataawa al-Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen
(5/p.86) 

See also the
answer to question no. 954. 

Thirdly:

It was
narrated from Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Women may be married
for four things: their wealth, their lineage, their beauty and their
religious commitment. Choose the one who is religiously-committed, may your
hands be rubbed with dust (i.e., may you prosper).” Narrated by al-Bukhaari,
5090; Muslim, 1466. 

It is not
impossible for a man to find a righteous wife who will help him to obey
Allaah, serve him, raise his children, and look after his wealth and house.
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) advised men to
marry the woman who is religiously committed. If it were not possible or
within a man’s capability to find that religiously committed woman, the
Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) would not have
advised him to marry her. He is the one who said in the same hadeeth that
some men marry women for their beauty, and some marry them for their lineage
or their wealth. Men choose women according to their own desires and
traditions and customs, but his advice to all men is to look for the woman
who is religiously committed and marry them, because in marrying such a
woman there is a great deal of good which the man will see in himself, his
house and his children. 

You should not
give up hope of finding a woman who is religiously committed and of good
character. The Muslim ummah is still doing well and there are still Muslim
families which are raising women who are of good character and committed to
Islam, and are brought up in this manner. 

The failure of
one experience of marriage does not mean that the same will happen to all
subsequent marriages. What happened to you may have been a punishment to you
because of your shortcomings in asking and finding out about the woman whom
you married. 

People know
one another and mix with one another, so the state of a family and its
members will not be hidden from their relatives and neighbours. The members
of the family mix with people in the mosque and school and when visiting
people, so a righteous woman will be known and distinguished from the
opposite, and the religiously committed man will be known and distinguished
from his opposite, by their adhering to regular prayer, and adherence to
outward shar’i laws, and their attitude in dealing with others. What one of
them hides inwardly is something that no one can know, and the one who is
deceived by outward righteousness when a person is inwardly corrupt is not
to be blamed, because our Lord does not require us to look at what is hidden
inside people. 

Moreover, what
is applicable to the women among whom you are looking for a life partner is
also applicable to you. How do people know who you really are, or what you
are like inwardly? Guardians have been advised to give their female
relatives in marriage to men who are religiously committed and of good
character, based on what they can see, as well as asking and finding out
from the relatives of the suitor. Whatever wrong impressions and deceit may
happen on the part of the woman may also happen – and more so – on the part
of the man. So you should not be anxious or worry because of your first
marriage. All you have to do now is look carefully, and ask good people
about good families who raise their daughters to obey Allaah and with good
morals and attitudes. Then you can focus your questions about the one whom
you want to marry from those families, by asking her friends and classmates
about her commitment and righteousness, and about her attitude and
interactions with others. Thus you will have followed the advice of the
Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), and we hope that
you will not be disappointed by her and that they will not be disappointed
by you. 

We ask Allaah
to help you to make a good choice and to bless you with a righteous wife who
will keep you chaste and you will keep her chaste, and you will treat her
well and she will treat you well, and to bless you with good and righteous 
children. 

For more
information on the qualities to be sought in the wife, please see the
answers to questions no. 26744 and
10376. 

And Allaah is
the Source of strength.

Praise be to Allah.We are amazed that you can be happy, despite what you mention about having a lot of arguments and even hitting sometimes. Whatever the case, we ask Allaah to increase your happiness. 
There can be no doubt that a woman’s hitting her husband is a sign of a serious problem in this household and that it is not fit to raise children. How can the father raise his children when they see him being hit by their mother?! 
Whatever the case, if you want to set things straight in your household and your want your wife to be set straight, then you must find out the reason why your wife has resorted to violence, and you must deal with it. 
Specialists have mentioned several reasons why a wife might become violent. These include: 
1.Her violence is a reaction to her husband’s violence. This is not the case – according to what you mention in your question – in your situation, because you say that you do not hit her.
2.Your wife’s violence may be because of having had a bad childhood, and what she may have been exposed to of violence from her parents or one of them, or from one of her siblings.
3.The wife’s violence may be due to her husband’s weak character. Her husband may not be working, and she may be the one who is working and taking responsibility for the household, and her dominant personality may lead her to aggression against his weak character.
4.The woman’s violence may be due to the effect of what she reads, watches or ingests. She may be influenced by dominant women or read stories about them, or the devils among women may be whispering to her that this is the right way to check the husband, or she may be under the influence of drugs and intoxicants.
If you know the reason ,then you must deal with it wisely and gently, and remind her of the greatness of the rights that you have over her, and her duties towards you. Remind her of the punishment for transgressing against you in word and deed, and alert her to the fact that her actions will play a part in your failure to raise your children properly, and that her character may be reflected in some of her daughters. 
What the couple must do is treat one another kindly, and not wrong one another or deny one another’s rights. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “And they (women) have rights (over their husbands as regards living expenses) similar (to those of their husbands) over them (as regards obedience and respect) to what is reasonable” [al-Baqarah 2:228]. 
If some differences arise between them, then these differences should be dealt with in an atmosphere of love, understanding, respect and tolerance, so that their married life will be as Allaah wants it to be: “and He has put between you affection and mercy” [al-Room 30:21]. 
We ask Allaah to reconcile between you. 
And Allaah knows best.