Category: Muamalah

Praise be to Allah.We have previously explained several times on our site that some kinds of cosmetic surgery are permissible, namely that which is done to treat a fault, remove a deformity and so on, and some kinds are haraam and are not allowed, namely that which is done solely for the purpose of beautification. 
Please see the answer to questions no. 47694 and 108860. 
So long as the surgery that you are going to do is to remove a fault that resulted from losing weight, there is nothing wrong with that if it will not result in harm that is greater than the harm occurring right now. 
The scholars of the Standing Committee for Issuing Fatwas were asked:
One of my friends got married by the help of Allah. He came to me and said: e came to me and said that his wife wants to have cosmetic surgery on her face and breasts, because her nose is large and wide, and she wants to reduce it by means of the easy methods that modern science has developed. Is there any doubt about this surgery or is there any sin involved? Please note that not doing it may lead to psychological distress because this fault appears so prominently on her face. 
They replied: If the situation is as described, and there is the hope that the surgery will be successful and will not lead to a greater or equal harm, then it is permissible to do it in order to achieve the desired purpose, otherwise it is not permissible. 
Fataawa al-Lajnah al-Daa’imah, 25/59-60 
Shaykh Ibn Baaz (may Allah have mercy on him) was asked: 
What is the Islamic ruling on having surgery to remove physical defects that may occur in people whether as a result of sickness or an accident, or that had been present since birth, such as removing extra digits and repairing the hand to make it look natural, or removing extra teeth and straightening the rest of the teeth so that the mouth will go back to normal, or correcting a harelip and making it look normal, or removing scars caused by burning, straightening a crooked nose or reducing its size in order to facilitate breathing, or completing a defective ear, or tightening drooping eyelids because they block one’s vision, or tightening sagging skin on the face so that the face will look more natural, or breast reduction for women in cases where large breasts are causing spinal problems because of their weight, or tummy tucks in the case of a sagging belly and weak abdominal muscles which lead to hernias, straightening the urethra in males in cases where urine is contaminating the clothing, removing deformed spots from the face, and removal of fat in obese individuals which may cause many diseases such as diabetes, high blood pressure and high cholesterol levels. Please note that these operations will not cause any deformity, in sha Allah. 
He replied: 
There is nothing wrong with treating the problems mentioned with remedies that are prescribed in sharee‘ah or with permissible remedies from specialist doctors who think it most likely that the treatment will be successful, because of the general meaning of the shar‘i evidence which says that it is permissible to treat diseases and illnesses with acceptable or permissible remedies. End quote. 
Majmoo‘ Fataawa Ibn Baaz, 9/419-420 
Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allah have mercy on him) was asked: 
What is the ruling on cosmetic surgery that is done by women? 
He replied:
If it is done to remove a fault, there is nothing wrong with it so long as it does not cause any harm, because ‘Arfajah (may Allah be pleased with him) wore a nose made of gold when his nose was cut off. One example is tightening or lifting drooping breasts. End quote. 
Thamaraat al-Tadween, p. 133 
And Allah knows best.

Praise be to Allah.
Firstly: 

Undoubtedly these kinds of family problems and annoyances are
things that affect one’s life and occupy one’s thoughts, but with a little
wisdom, proper conduct, more rational thinking, adhering to the path of
fairness and patience for the sake of pleasing the one who has the greatest
rights over you – namely your mother – and pleasing the one whom you love,
the source of your comfort and the mother of your children – namely your
wife – we can resolve the problem and handle the matter in the best manner
possible. 

Secondly: 

We must – may Allah guide us and you aright – inform each
party of the rights of the other. The mother must understand that her son’s
wife has rights that have been ordained by Allah and taught by the Messenger
of Allah; the wife must understand that the mother has rights ordained by
Allah and affirmed by the Messenger of Allah. 

Moreover, each of them must understand that when Allah
ordained rights for people, He forbade mistreatment and enmity, and He
forbade transgressing the limits that He has set for His slaves. So what we
must do is adhere to those limits and no one who has been given rights
should transgress the limits in order to transgress against the rights of
anyone else. 

Thirdly: 

We should explain the standard of fairness that has been
outlined in Islam, which is that a person’s faith is not truly complete
until he loves for his brother what he loves for himself, and until he hates
for his brother what he hates for himself. 

So we ask the mother: would you accept for anyone – no matter
who he is – to direct hurtful words towards you, or to mistreat you by
behaving in an inappropriate manner, or to say bad things about your family,
and so on? 

We ask the wife: would you be happy for my mother to be angry
with me and not be pleased, and to pray against me instead of praying for
me? Would you like that for yourself, no matter what the reasons? 

By presenting the case in such a manner, discussing it with
two people you care for and who you do not want to make angry with you, you
can persuade them, without putting the one who is in the wrong – especially
your mother – on the spot and accusing her of transgression and hostility,
or speaking ill of her and her actions, which may make matters more
complicated and difficult to resolve. Rather you can achieve that with
wisdom and choosing your words carefully. 

Then you should speak to your wife, encouraging her to pardon
and overlook. 

Allah, may He be exalted, says (interpretation of the
meaning):

“The good deed
and the evil deed cannot be equal. Repel (the evil) with one which is better
(i.e. Allah ordered the faithful believers to be patient at the time of
anger, and to excuse those who treat them badly), then verily! he, between
whom and you there was enmity, (will become) as though he was a close friend”

[Fussilat 41:34]. 

The Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon
him) said: “No one forgives, but
Allah increases him in honour.” Narrated by
Muslim, 2588. 

According to another hadeeth: “No one is wronged and bears it
with patience but Allah will increase him in honour.” Narrated by
at-Tirmidhi, 2325; classed as saheeh by al-Albani. 

Explain to her that forgiving is more beloved and more
pleasing to Allah, and tell her: “You will only be forgiving the most
beloved of people to me, namely my mother, and that will only increase you
in dearness to me.” 

Fourthly: 

It is not permissible for your wife to cut off her
relationship with your mother by shunning her and boycotting her, because it
is not permissible for a Muslim to shun his brother for more than three
days, as is well known. It is narrated in a saheeh report that the Prophet
(blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said:
“Whoever forsakes his brother for a year, it is as if he shed
his blood.” Narrated by Abu Dawood,
4915;classed as saheeh by al-Albani. 

He also said: “It is not permissible for a Muslim to shun
another Muslim for more than three days, because they will be drifting away
from the path of truth so long as they are shunning one another. Whichever
of them is first to reach out to his brother, his doing so will be an
expiation for him. If he greets him and he (the other one) does not respond,
the angels will return his greeting and the shaytan will respond to the
other one. If they both die in that state, neither of them will ever enter
Paradise.”

Narrated by Ahmad, 15824; classed as saheeh by al-Albani in
as-Saheehah, 1246 

But if mixing with one another will always lead to annoyance
for the wife, and insults to her family, then this is something that it is
not permissible for the mother to do, and it is not permissible for you to
keep quiet about it, because people’s rights should be respected and if
anyone harms a Muslim with no justification, the score will be settled on
the Day of Resurrection. 

There is a well-known report about the bankrupt person who
will come on the Day of Resurrection with prayer, fasting and zakah to his
credit, but he will come having insulted this one, reviled that one,
devoured the wealth of this one, shed the blood of that one and beaten
another one. So each of them will be given some of his hasanat, and if his
hasanat run out before what he owes has been paid off, some of their bad
deeds will be taken and added to his burden, then he will be thrown into the
Fire. 

So it is essential to alert your mother to this great danger
and to advise her concerning that, in a gentle manner, and remind her to
fear Allah. 

Based on that, if your mother persists in treating your wife
in this manner, then the right thing to do is not to enable her to do that,
by preventing your wife from going to see her, and there will be no blame on
your wife in that case if she does not mix with her, visit her or go to see
her. This is not obligatory upon her in the first place; rather what is
obligatory is not to shun a person without any shar‘i justification that
would make doing so permissible. 

If we assume that your wife overlooks and forgives her, and
gives up her own rights, then what about the rights of her family? What have
they done wrong to deserve this criticism and mistreatment without any error
or sin on their part? 

But if it so happens that your wife and your mother meet in
some place, then your wife has to greet her with salam if she meets her;
the better of the two will be the one who is first to greet the other. If
your mother speaks to her or greets her with salam, then she must return
her greeting. 

In that case it will not matter if your mother threatens to
pray against you and to be displeased with you, because Allah has forbidden
injustice to Himself and has made it haram among people, and He has stated
that He does not love those who are unjust or wrong others, as He, may He be
exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning):

“O you who believe! Stand out firmly for Allah and be just
witnesses and let not the enmity and hatred of others make you avoid
justice. Be just: that is nearer to piety”

[al-Maidah 5:8]. 

What is meant is: stand out firmly for Allah and be just in
word and deed, and be like that towards both relatives and strangers,
friends and enemies. 

Do not let the hatred of some people cause you to treat them
unfairly; rather, just as you would testify in favour of your friend, you
should also testify against him (if need be), and just as you would testify
against your enemy, you should also testify in his favour; even if he is a
disbeliever or innovator, it is obligatory to treat him fairly. 

See: Tafseer as-Sa‘di, p. 224 

Moreover, just as it is not permissible to let hatred of some
people make you fail to be fair, it is not permissible to let love of others
make you fail to be fair; rather you should be fair in all cases.

 There is no blame on you for any of this, if you have tried
to bring about reconciliation as much as you can, but were unable to achieve
that. If your mother threatens to pray against you and so on, Allah, may He
be exalted, will not answer the supplication of one who prays wrongfully or
on the basis of severing ties of kinship. 

But it is essential that you take care to treat her properly
and be patient in putting up with any unpleasantness on her part in all
situations. 

And Allah is the Guide to the straight path. 

Please see also question no.
82453

Note: 

With regard to the words of the questioner: “I still offer
supplication for her when I pray and I give in charity on her behalf”,
offering supplication for her is a good deed and comes under the heading of
honouring her and treating her kindly. But giving charity on her behalf when
she is still alive is something that is not known from the early
generations; rather what is known is giving charity on behalf of one who has
passed away. Al-Bukhari (2760) and Muslim (1004) narrated from ‘Aishah
(may Allah be pleased with her) that a man said to the Prophet (blessings
and peace of Allah be upon him): My mother died suddenly and did not leave a
will. I think that if she had been able to speak, she would have given
charity. Can I give charity on her behalf? He said: “Yes, give charity on
her behalf.” 

An-Nawawi said: 

This hadeeth indicates that giving charity on behalf of the
deceased will benefit the deceased and the reward for it will reach him.
There is scholarly consensus on this point. End quote. 

So what is prescribed is to focus on serving her, and praying
for her in her absence, upholding ties with her by giving money and food,
and so on, without giving charity on her behalf, because there is no
evidence that doing so is prescribed (when she is still alive), as far as we
know. 

And Allah knows best.

Praise be to Allah.Firstly we congratulate you on your good attitude of being pleased with what your husband does, which is the work of the Prophets themselves (peace be upon them), namely enjoining what is good and forbidding what is evil, and calling people to Allah. 
We advise you to stand by your husband’s side and encourage him in this work, and not to have any doubts about him or to feel fed up with what he does.  
With regard to what he tells you about women, it seems that he is telling you because he trusts you, and is not telling you in order to upset you, or to express his admiration for them. Rather he is telling you that in order to inform you of some of the evil actions that people do, so that you can beware of them, or so as to get it off his chest. When some people see evil actions, it affects them deeply, and they need someone to talk to about it so as to get it off their chests. So you should be aware of that and not let the Shaytaan get to you with regard to this matter. 
There is no reason why you should not advise him with regard to the things in which he is falling short towards you, so long as that is done in the way that is better and without casting aspersions on his decency and morals. 
Our advice to the husband is to give his family their rights, and to treat them in a reasonable manner. He should respect their feelings and not describe women to his wife; just as a man would not like his wife to describe men to him, so too a woman does not like her husband to describe women to her. 
He should avoid speaking too much to women, and restrict it only to what is needed in order to change the evil or to draw attention to it, etc, because being too careless and lax about that may lead to bad consequences. And he should strive to lower his gaze, because looking is one of the arrows of Iblees. 
May Allah help you both to do that which He loves and which pleases Him. 
And Allah knows best.

Praise be to Allah.
Firstly: 

Compulsive waswaas refers to thoughts and bad ideas that come
one after another to a person’s mind even though he does not want them, in
such a way that he cannot rid himself of them, even though he knows and is
certain that they are foolish and unacceptable thoughts. They keep coming to
his mind compulsively, which causes him a great deal of anguish and
distress. 

The remedy for compulsive waswaas and other types of waswaas
is to remember Allah a great deal, obey Him, and turn to Him, beseeching
Him, and seeking refuge with Him; to overlook and ignore the waswaas, and
not let oneself get carried away with it. In some cases there is a need to
consult a doctor. 

See the answers to questions no.
39684 and
90819.

Allah will not punish a person or call him to account for
this waswaas, because it is beyond his control and overwhelms him; it does
not happen by his choice. Allah, may He be exalted, says (interpretation of
the meaning):

“Allah burdens not a person beyond his scope”

[al-Baqarah 2:286]

“Allah puts no burden on any person beyond what He has
given him. Allah will grant after hardship, ease.”

[al-Talaaq 65:7]

 “So keep your duty to Allah and fear Him as much as you
can”

[al-Taghaabun 64:16]. 

It was narrated that Abu Hurayrah said: The Messenger of
Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said:
“Allah, may He be glorified and exalted, will forgive my ummah for whatever
crosses their minds so long as they do not act upon it or speak of it.”

Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 6664; Muslim,
127. 

Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allah have
mercy on him) said:

Allah will not punish the one who suffers from compulsive
waswaas, because He, may He be exalted, says (interpretation of the
meaning): “our
Lord! Put not on us a burden greater than we have strength to bear”
[al-Baqarah 2:286]
and “Allah burdens not a person beyond his
scope” [al-Baqarah 2:286]. But the one who is
suffering from waswaas has to frequently seek refuge with Allah from the
accursed Shaytaan and ignore it; if he does that, then it will depart from
him by Allah’s leave. End quote. 

Fataawa Noor ‘ala ad-Darb, 24/2 

If this man speaks words of kufr (disbelief) and words that
put him beyond the pale of Islam because of this compulsive waswaas, without
being aware of what he is saying or understanding what it means, or he
understands what it means but he did not intend to say it and did not say it
voluntarily – rather he said it under the pressure of this waswaas which
forced him to say it – then he will not be punished for it, because it is
beyond his control. He comes under the same ruling as one who speaks words
of kufr because he is forced to do so. Allah, may He be exalted, says
(interpretation of the meaning):

“Whoever
disbelieved in Allah after his belief, except him who is forced thereto and
whose heart is at rest with Faith but such as open their hearts to
disbelief, on them is wrath from Allah, and theirs will be a great torment”

[an-Nahl 16:106]. 

Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allah have mercy on him) said:

If he is forced to disbelieve and he disbelieves, but his
heart is at rest with Faith, then he is not deemed to be a disbeliever,
because there is an impediment to doing so, which is that he was forced. End
quote. 

Majmoo‘ Fataawa wa Rasaa’il al-‘Uthaymeen,
3/54 

It says in al-Mawsoo‘ah al-Fiqhiyyah, 13/229: 

It is not permissible to describe as a disbeliever one who
was forced to utter words of disbelief when his heart was at rest with
Faith. Allah, may He be exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning):
“…except him who is forced
thereto and whose heart is at rest with Faith …” [an-Nahl 16:106].
End quote. 

See also the answer to question no.
62839

Based on that, this man is not to be deemed an apostate,
unless he says or does something to indicate disbelief at the time when he
is aware of what he is doing, and he says or does it voluntarily. In that
case he would be deemed an apostate and would bear full responsibility for
his words or deeds. 

Secondly: 

The family’s role towards this poor father may be summed up
as follows: 

1.All the members of the family
have to show patience towards him with regard to unpleasant things that
happen with him, because that is happening without him intending it to.

2.They should strive to find
treatment for him and spend as much as they can on that, and use tricks to
treat him. Many cases of waswaas are in fact cases of sickness that can be
treated by psychologists and the like.

3.They should offer a lot of
supplication and beseech Allah to remove this harm and heal him.

4.Ruqya as prescribed in Islam.
His son, wife or any other family member or other person may perform ruqya
for him as prescribed in Islam. Allah may heal types of chronic sickness by
His grace, by means of Islamically prescribed ruqya from the Qur’an and
Sunnah.

See also the answer to question no.
3476

Thirdly: 

If this suitor is of good character and religiously
committed, then there is nothing wrong with marrying him, whether his father
is healthy or otherwise, and whether he is a Muslim or an apostate. None of
those factors are an impediment to marrying his son, so long as the son is
religiously committed and of good character. 

However we do not think that you should rush to accept such a
person; rather proceeding with caution in the case of such proposals that
may lead to complicated social problems is better, more sensible and wiser. 

You have to let your guardians know about the matter and they
should find out the facts for themselves, so that they can make the right
decision for their daughter. 

If you feel that this will have an impact on your life and
your social relationships, then you are still young, so if you wait for a
more suitable opportunity that is less likely to cause you problems, then
perhaps that is better and more appropriate. 

If you insist on accepting this suitor, and your guardians
agree to it, then you and your husband should have separate accommodation;
that is more likely to avoid problems and keep you away from troubles. 

Moreover, he will be the grandfather of your children and
also your father-in-law, the father of your husband, so you should strive
hard to treat him kindly as much as you can. 

See also the answer to question no.
130935.

For more information, please see the answer to question no.
146463

And Allah knows best.

Praise be to Allah.Allaah has
enjoined upholding of family ties and kind treatment of one’s wife. We will
never tell you to sever your ties with your sisters or with your wife.
Rather we tell you: bring them together and do not make the division worse. 
Love comes
from Allaah. He has created causes of love and causes of hate. So you have
to look at your relationships and seek out the causes of hate and enmity so
that you can remove them. And you should try to bring in the causes of love
so as to encourage it. These causes include: greeting with salaam, giving
gifts, visiting people when they are sick, helping at times of need, and
many other things which Islam tells us strengthen bonds and generate love
among people. 
In order to
calm both sides down, you also have to remind each of them of Allaah and His
warning against gossiping, insulting, slandering and interfering in people’s
private affairs. 
Adhering to
the limits set by Allaah and giving each party their rights, and respecting
the rights of the other party and not belittling them or annoying them, will
also guarantee happiness and peace in the house and in your relationships. 
You have to
advise your wife and your siblings to treat one another well, and try to
remove the problems and disputes that exist between them. If your wife and
siblings are living in the same house, there is nothing wrong with you
giving your wife her own accommodation, if you cannot reconcile between
them. Indeed, this may be a means of removing the disputes between them. 
Our advice
to your wife is that she should be friendly towards her husband’s family and
treat them kindly as much as she can, without doing anything that is
forbidden according to sharee’ah. Respecting her husband’s family will make
the relationship between her and her husband remain as good as it can be. 
May Allaah help you all to do that which He loves and which pleases Him. May He guide you to the best of words and deeds and attitudes. 
And Allaah knows best.

Praise be to Allah.
Firstly: 

Undoubtedly obedience to parents, so long as it does not
involve disobedience towards Allah, is one of the greatest of righteous
deeds and acts of worship. This is a well-known basic principle in Islam. 

The father has the right to take whatever he wants from his
son’s wealth, but that is subject to conditions, one of which is that taking
it should not cause harm to his son and that he should not take from him in
order to give to someone else. 

Moreover, he should not take from his son’s wealth in order
to waste it on extravagances or buy things that he does not need. This is
more obviously forbidden; in fact it is not allowed even if it is one’s own
wealth and earnings, so how about if it is his son’s earnings? See the
answer to question no. 9594. 

Secondly: 

Spending on the father’s maintenance is only obligatory if
the father is in difficulty and unable to earn a living from a suitable job.
If he is not in difficulty or he is in difficulty but he is able to earn a
living from a suitable job, then his son is not obliged to spend on him,
according to the more correct of the two scholarly opinions. 

It says in Minah al-Jaleel, 4/416: Spending on the
maintenance of parents who are in financial difficulty is obligatory, even
if they have a servant and a house that they need but are no more than is
necessary. It seems that this is the case even if the father is able to earn
a living. This is the view of al-Baaji and those who agreed with him.
However al-Lakhmi says that rather he should be compelled to work in his
profession, and this is the correct view and is the view of the author of
al-Jawaahir. This is what appears to be the correct view by analogy with
the son, because in order for it to be obligatory for the father to spend on
his son, it is stipulated that the son should be unable to earn a living
doing work that is not demeaning to him.

End quote. See: Haashiyat ad-Dasooqi, 2/523 

It says in Kashshaaf al-Qinaa‘, 5/481-482: 

We may sum up the conditions of it being obligatory to spend
on a relative in the following points: Firstly, that those on whom he is
spending should be poor, with no wealth or income to make them independent
of means so that they do not need someone else to spend on them. If those on
whom he is spending are well off and have sufficient wealth or income, there
is no obligation to spend on them, because the condition is not applicable
in this case. But if their wealth or income is not sufficient for them, then
he is obliged to top it up. Secondly, the one who is supposed to spend on
them should have sufficient wealth to do so that is surplus to what he needs
to spend on his own maintenance and that of his wife and family. Thirdly,
the one who spends should be an heir of the one on whom he spends, either
according to the shares allocated by sharee‘ah or because of blood ties
through the father.

End quote.  

Thirdly: 

The husband does not have the right to take from his wife’s
wealth in order to give it to his father, mother or siblings without her
consent. It is not permissible for the husband to take anything of his
wife’s wealth except what she gives willingly. 

See the answer to question no.
163541. 

What we think is that the son should give his father
something by way of upholding ties of kinship, in such a way that will not
adversely affect your needs and will not be unfair to you, and he and his
siblings should encourage their father to work. 

You could make your salary separate from your husband’s
salary, and save all of your salary, and your husband can spend on you and
the children and shoulder the responsibility of living costs. This is his
basic duty in the first place. Then if there is anything left over, he can
use that to uphold ties with his father in a way that will not adversely
affect you or be unfair to his children. Then he can add whatever is left
over to what you have of wealth, and you can put that towards buying a house
or you can save it for your needs. 

But you have to be very careful not to let that choice lead
to trouble in your relationship with your husband. However, you are in a
position to evaluate the situation as you are living with him. 

If you are afraid that that may lead to some trouble, then
carry on as you have been doing, and try to advise him to think of what is
best for you and your children whilst avoiding cutting off ties with his
father or failing to uphold ties with him and treat him kindly, in ways that
will benefit him and not harm you. 

See also the answer to question no.
130599.

Praise be to Allah.
We praise Allah for having blessed you with Islam, and we
ask Him to make us and you steadfast in adhering to His true religion. 

If a woman becomes Muslim and her husband refuses to become
Muslim, she is not permissible for him because Allah says (interpretation of
the meaning):

“then if you ascertain that they are true believers send
them not back to the disbelievers. They are not lawful (wives) for the
disbelievers nor are the disbelievers lawful (husbands) for them”

[al-Mumtahanah 60:10]. 

Al-Shawkaani (may Allah have mercy on him) said: 

The words of Allah, “They are not lawful (wives) for the
disbelievers nor are the disbelievers lawful (husbands) for them”
explain the reason why it is forbidden to send them back. This indicates
that a believing woman is not permissible for a kaafir and that if the woman
becomes Muslim she must leave her husband. End quote. 

Fath al-Qadeer, 5/301 

So it is not permissible for a Muslim woman to remain married
to a kaafir under any circumstances whatsoever. Rather they should be
separated as soon as she becomes Muslim, then she should wait until her
‘iddah ends. If he becomes Muslim during the ‘iddah, that they remain
married, but if the ‘iddah ends and he has not become Muslim, she becomes
irrevocably divorced from him and she may marry someone else if she wishes,
or she may wait until he becomes Muslim. 

Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allah have mercy on him) said: What is
indicated by the ruling of the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon
him) is that the marriage is suspended. If he becomes Muslim before the end
of her ‘iddah, then she is still his wife, but if her ‘iddah ends, then she
may marry whomever she wants, or if she likes she may wait for him, then if
he becomes Muslim, she is still his wife without any need for a new marriage
contract. End quote. 

Zaad al-Ma‘aad, 5/137 

As you say that you became Muslim six years ago, you became
irrevocably divorced from him a long time ago. So you have to leave him
immediately and it is not permissible for you to stay with him under any
circumstances. And you have to seek forgiveness and repent to Allah, may He
be exalted. 

It is not permissible for you to serve him and take care of
him when Islam has separated you, especially since he — in addition to
being a disbeliever — hates religion and despises hijab and tells you to
take it off. How can you feel that you and your religious commitment are
safe when you are with him? 

The Standing Committee for Issuing Fatwas was asked about a
Christian woman who was elderly, as was her husband. She became Muslim but
he did not, and there was no sexual relationship between them. Is it
permissible for her to stay with him or should the marriage be annulled? 

They replied: 

If a Christian woman becomes Muslim and she is the wife of a
Christian man, the marriage contract is annulled.  Based on that, it is not
permissible for her to stay with him even if they are old and have no sexual
relationship. End quote. 

Fataawa al-Lajnah al-Daa’imah,
19/16-17 

The fact that you are poor and have no work does not make it
permissible to you to stay in the same house as a non-Muslim man. Think
positively of Allah, may He be exalted, for He is the One Who says
(interpretation of the meaning):

“Allaah will grant after hardship, ease”

[al-Talaaq 65:7]. 

Al-Sa‘di (may Allah have mercy on him) said: 

This is glad tidings to those who are in difficulty, that
Allah will grant them relief from their hardship and take away their
difficulties. End quote. 

Tafseer al-Sa‘di, p. 871 

And Allah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“And whosoever fears Allaah and keeps his duty to Him, He
will make a way for him to get out (from every difficulty).

3. And He will provide him from (sources) he never could
imagine. And whosoever puts his trust in Allaah, then He will suffice him.
Verily, Allaah will accomplish his purpose. Indeed Allaah has set a measure
for all things”

[al-Talaaq 65:2-3].

Imam Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allah have mercy on him) debated with
a Christian scholar until the truth became clear to him, but he refrained
from entering Islam on the grounds that the Christians venerated him and he
said: I do not know any trade and I have not memorized any Qur’aan or
grammar or fiqh. If I become Muslim I will go around the marketplaces
begging from people. Who could agree to that? Ibn al-Qayyim said: That will
not happen! How can you think of Allah that if you give precedence to
pleasing Him over your whims and desires He would humiliate you and make you
in need of others? Even if we assume that that will befall you, what you
have attained of truth and salvation from the Fire and from the wrath and
anger of Allah will be the most complete compensation for what you have
lost. End quote. 

Hidaayat al-Hayaara, p. 119 

Your son should treat his father kindly and serve him and
help him as much as he can. That is his father’s right over him, even if he
(the father) continues to follow his present religion. Strive to call him to
Islam, for that will be better for both of you, so that the family will not
be divided. Tell him that Islam forbids you to stay with him, and that there
is no solution to this problem except his becoming Muslim. 

We ask Allah to guide and help you all. 

And Allah knows best.

Praise be to Allah.
Allah has enjoined
upon the husband to treat his wife decently and with kindness, as He says
(interpretation of the meaning):

“And live with
them honourably”

[an-Nisa’ 4:19].

This is one of the
rights that are common to both spouses; each must treat the other decently
and with kindness. 

Each spouse has
rights over the other. We have discussed in detail the rights of the spouses
over one another in the answer to question no.
10680

One of the rights
that the wife has over her husband is that he should keep her chaste by
means of intercourse with her. This is obligatory for the one who is able to
do it. This is the view of the majority of scholars. 

It says in
al-Mawsoo‘ah al-Fiqhiyyah (30/127): 

One of the rights
of the wife over her husband is that he should keep her chaste by having
intercourse with her. The majority of fuqaha’ – Hanafis, Maalikis and
Hanbalis – are of the view that it is obligatory for the husband to have
intercourse with his wife. End quote. 

The scholars
differed with regard to the limits within which the husband must have
intercourse with his wife. The most correct opinion is that it should be in
accordance with her need and his ability. 

Shaykh al-Islam
Ibn Taymiyah (may Allah have mercy on him) was asked about a man who does
not have intercourse with his wife for one or two months; is there any sin
on him or not? Is the husband required to do that? 

He replied: 

The man should
have intercourse with his wife according to what is reasonable. It is the
most important right that she has over him and is more important than
providing her with food. It was said that obligatory intercourse is once
every four months, or whatever is in accordance with her need and his
ability, just as he should feed her according to her need and what he can
afford. This is the more correct of the two scholarly opinions. 

Majmoo‘
al-Fataawa,
32/271 

Your husband may
be suffering from some mental or physical illness and this may be what is
causing him to refrain from intercourse or showing affection. You cannot be
certain that this is not happening in his case, especially since you say
that the shaykhs who have examined your situation think that he has been
affected by the evil eye. It is not far-fetched to say that that the evil
eye may be what has caused the change in his behaviour. 

Dr. ‘Abdullah
as-Sadhaan – who is a specialist in matters of ruqyah and whose doctoral
thesis was entitled Diraasah Muqaarinah ‘an ar-Ruqyah ash-Shar‘iyyah
(A Comparative Study of Ruqyah as prescribed in Islam) was asked: 

Can the evil eye
cause physical sickness or financial or social problems? 

He replied: 

Yes, the evil eye
can cause a lack of healing from many physical problems and may even make
them worse. It may also cause financial and marital problems, breakdown in
relationships and a lot of calamities. How can it be otherwise, when the
Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “Death among my
ummah is mostly caused, after the will and decree of Allah, by the evil
eye.” So whatever occurs of calamities that are less serious than death are
more likely to be caused by the evil eye. 

Majallat
ad-Da‘wah,
issue no. 2018, 15 Shawwaal 1426 AH/17 November 2005 CE 

One of the duties
of the righteous wife is to stand by her husband in such situations, because
he is in the greatest need of someone to support him and help him in
treating his disease until Allah decrees that he should be healed. If what
has befallen him is caused by his material circumstances and social
interactions, then you can win his heart by beautifying yourself for him,
and treating him in a loving and kind manner, for you are his source of
tranquillity. Allah has created between the spouses love and compassion that
will make it easy for you to reach his heart and reduce the pressure that he
is suffering because of his circumstances. 

You should
understand that the man is not like the woman; the woman  can respond to her
husband’s sexual needs in all circumstances unless she is sick, menstruating
or bleeding following childbirth. But a man cannot do that unless he has
energy and the desire for intercourse. Hence Islam does not oblige him to
treat his wives (in the case of plural marriage) equally in terms of
intercourse, because that depends on energy, desire and strength. For the
same reason also there is a warning against refusing to share the marital
bed on the part of the wife but not the husband. 

With regard to
your saying that you are afraid of falling into immoral actions, you should
be patient and forbearing, and help your husband until Allah heals him. If
you are not able to be patient then you have the right to ask for a
divorce. 

Your husband
should hasten to seek treatment for himself; he should not hesitate to do so
or be heedless or lazy about it. According to what you say, he is neglecting
the rights of his wife and the wife has the right to be kept chaste. If he
is able to do it then he should do so, otherwise he should divorce her and
let her go in a good manner, if she cannot be patient during her husband’s
illness. 

In the answer to
question no. 11359 we have
described how to protect oneself against the evil eye and to remedy the
matter. 

We think that it
is best to refer your case to an Islamic judge (qaadi), because he will be
able to establish the facts of your husband’s case and seek medical reports,
after which he will be able to issue a verdict on matters of divorce and
rights. 

We advise you to
be patient in putting up with the situation in which you find yourself and
to support your husband during his illness and do your part to seek a remedy
for it, whether that is with doctors or psychologists, or with trustworthy
shaykhs, so that you can find out the cause of his problem, as he may indeed
have been affected by the evil eye. 

We ask Allah to
set your affairs straight. 

And Allah knows best.

Praise be to Allah.Firstly: 
Suicide is a major sin. The Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) stated that the one who commits suicide will be punished with something like that with which he killed himself. 
See the answer to question no. 70363 
Secondly: 
There are known signs of puberty for both males and females. The male reaches puberty when one of three things happens: emission of maniy (semen), growth of pubic hair or reaching the age of fifteen years according to the Hijri calendar, which is a few months before reaching the age of fifteen according to the Gregorian calendar. 
In females, puberty is reached when these three signs occur; in addition to that there is a fourth sign, namely menstruation. 
It is not stipulated that all of these signs should appear; rather when one of them appears that is sufficient to rule that the individual has reached puberty. 
See also the answer to question no. 70425 and 78591  
Thirdly: 
Accountability is waived for the child who has not yet reached puberty, until he reaches that stage, because of the report narrated by Abu Dawood (4403) and at-Tirmidhi (1423) from ‘Ali (may Allah be pleased with him), that the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “The Pen has been lifted from three: from the sleeper until he awakens, from the child until he reaches puberty and from the insane person until he comes to his senses.”
Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Irwa’ al-Ghaleel, 2/4, no. 297 
In al-Mawsoo‘ah al-Fiqhiyyah (8/196) it says: 
A person becomes accountable for fulfilling obligatory duties and refraining from haraam actions when he or she reaches puberty; one who has not reached puberty is not accountable … and (one who has not reached puberty) is not subject to qisaas (retaliatory punishments) and hadd punishments, such as those for stealing and slander. However, it is permissible for him to be disciplined. End quote. 
See also 14/36 
A person from whom the Pen has been lifted because he is insane or is a minor is not subject to qisaas (retaliatory punishment) if he injures or kills someone, whether the minor had reached the age of discernment or not, because the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “The Pen has been lifted from three: from the child until he reaches puberty, from the insane person until he comes to his senses and from the sleeper until he awakens.” 
End quote from al-Haawi al-Kabeer, 12/181 
Ibn Qudaamah (may Allah have mercy on him) said: A minor is not to be executed (in the case of apostasy), regardless of whether we say that his apostasy is valid or not, because the child is not subject to punishment, on the basis that the rulings on adultery and theft and other crimes that are subject to hadd punishments are not applicable to him to him and he cannot be executed in a retaliatory punishment (qisaas).
End quote from al-Mughni, 10/62 
Based on that, there is no punishment in the Hereafter for a child if he does something before the age of puberty, which is attained when one of the signs mentioned above appears. 
For more information please see the answer to question no. 3277.

Praise be to Allah.If the
husband travels and wants to take his wife with him, she has to accompany
him and move with him, so long as she will be able to live a suitable life
and will not be harmed by this travelling. 
Imam Maalik
(may Allah have mercy on him) said: 
The husband
has the right to travel with his wife from one country to another, even if
she is reluctant, and he should spend on her.
End quote
from Tahdheeb al-Mudawwanah, 1/421 
Ibn Qudaamah
said in al-Mughni (8/181): 
The woman is
entitled to maintenance from her husband, provided that she make herself
completely available to her husband. If she refuses to make herself
available or her guardians prevent her from doing so, then she is not
entitled to maintenance, even if they stay together for a while. The Prophet
(blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) married ‘Aa’ishah and consummated
the marriage with her after two years, and he did not spend on her
maintenance until after he had consummated the marriage, and was not obliged
to spend on her for the time that had passed, because maintenance becomes
obligatory in return for the wife making herself available as is his right
according to the marriage contract; if this condition is met she is entitled
to it and if it is not met then she is not entitled to anything. 
If she has
made herself available in an incomplete manner, by saying: I submit myself
to you in my house and nowhere else, or in such and such a place and nowhere
else, then she is not entitled to anything, unless she stipulated that in
the marriage contract, because she has not made herself fully available as
required by the marriage contract, so she is not entitled to maintenance.
End quote. 
This right
is confirmed in your case, because you told them about that and they
agreed. 
What the
wife is required to do is to obey her husband and travel with him, and
settle with him in the country where his livelihood is, so long as she can
live a decent life there. 
She has to
try hard to be patient and adjust to the new environment in which she is
living; she can make friends with Muslim sisters and join them in doing acts
of worship and other good deeds, such as memorising Qur’an, visiting one
another, and so on. 
She should
always remember the great rights that her husband has over her and that she
is obliged to obey him and do what he tells her to do, and she should love
to accompany him and be content to live with him whatever the circumstances.
In this manner, Muslim households will be established on a foundation of
love and harmony, and the kind treatment that is expected in Islam, which
will achieve the purposes of marriage. 
It should be
noted that these negative feelings are temporary and will disappear, if
Allah wills, if she is patient, puts up with it and seeks the help of Allah,
may He be exalted, as has happened to many other women. 
The husband
has to understand that this complaint is not something felt by his wife
only; rather many women make the same complaint because of feeling isolated
and lonely. The husband has to deal with the matter in a wise and careful
manner, and do all that he can to help her to overcome this problem. He
should give her as much of his time as he can and not come back home late
after finishing work, or go out after finishing work, except for urgent
reasons. If he can take his wife with him he should do so, and he should
help her to find female friends who will help her cope with the pain of
loneliness and feeling isolated. He should asked for help from wise people
among her family who can advise and guide her, and encourage her to live in
Saudi so that she can do Hajj and ‘Umrah and pray in the Haram and so on. 
We ask Allah
to bring you together in a good way. 
And Allah knows best.