Tag: Q n A

Praise be to Allah.Firstly: it is not permissible for a man or woman to undergo any surgical or other procedure that will permanently prevent them from having children.
One of these means that is forbidden is vasectomy, which is a surgical procedure in which the vas deferens (the two channels through which sperm travels to the bladder and then to the penis) is cut.
It says in a statement of the Islamic Fiqh Council: It is haram to permanently remove the ability to produce offspring for a man or a woman, which is what is known as sterilization, so long as there is no necessary reason, according to Islamic standards, for doing that.
This has been explained previously in the answers to questions no. 111969 and 47196 .
Secondly: With regard to reversing the vasectomy, this is a matter concerning which one must refer to medical specialists. If the doctors determine that there is no harm that would result from that, then you must undergo this procedure and restore the vas deferens to its natural state.
But if that is not possible, or it will result in harm, then you do not have to do anything, because harm cannot be removed by further harm.
As you did that as a result of ignorance of the ruling, then Allah, may He be exalted, will pardon you and there is no sin on you. Allah, may He be exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning): {And there is no blame upon you for that in which you have erred but [only for] what your hearts intended} [al-Ahzaab 33:5].
And you did not deliberately intend to commit sin.

Praise be to Allah.In a number of questions we have stated that it is obligatory to officially register marriages, because that will protect people’s rights so that they will not be lost.
Please see the answer to question no. 129851 .
But a man may be forced to forego registering a marriage because he lives in a western country where plural marriage is not allowed and the one who does that will be penalised. In that case, we may say:
If the husband married a second wife in accordance with Islamic teachings, then it is easy for the second wife and her children to prove that, because when she got married there must have been her guardian and two men – at least – who acted as witnesses or he must have announced the marriage to some of his friends or relatives.
The husband may have left behind something in his handwriting confirming this second marriage, or he may have registered his children from his second wife in his name, and so on.
So the second wife should take some of these witnesses and whatever proof or other circumstantial evidence she has to prove the validity of her claim, and present it to those in charge of the Islamic centre in her city, and they can present it to the family of the deceased and prove to them that there are other parties who have rights in this regard, and they are entitled to their share of the estate.
The first wife of the deceased and her children must accept that, and beware of cutting off ties of kinship and refuse to give what rightfully belongs to their brothers, because Allah has ordained that all wives and all children have rights to the estate, so there should be no differentiation between one wife and another, or between one son and another. They are all children of the deceased and are all entitled to their share of the inheritance. The prohibition [on denying them their rights] is further emphasized if any of the heirs are minors (orphans), because devouring the wealth of orphans is a major sin for which the one who does that deserves punishment in hell.
Allah, may He be exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning):
{Indeed, those who devour the property of orphans unjustly are only consuming into their bellies fire. And they will be burned in a Blaze} [an-Nisa’ 4:10].
And Allah knows best.

Praise be to Allah.It is not permissible to use contraceptives for fear of low income, because Allah, may He be glorified and exalted, is the Provider. This is akin to the actions of the people of Jahiliyyah who killed their children for fear of poverty. Rather you should think positively of Allah and put your trust in Him, may He be glorified and exalted.
Allah is the Provider, the Almighty, may He be glorified and exalted, and it is He, may He be glorified and exalted, Who says (interpretation of the meaning):
{There is no creature that lives on the earth but its sustenance is guaranteed by Allah} [Hud 11:6].
So what is required is for both husband and wife to think positively of Allah and not use contraceptives.
But if the contraceptive is used for a different reason, such as if the mother is sick or if there is  the risk of harm to her health or her uterus, or there is fear of harm to both of them; or because they already have a lot of children, and without contraception there will be one pregnancy after another, without a break, so she wants to use contraception for a short period, such as a year or two, so that it will not be too difficult to raise the children and so that she will not become unable to do that – then there is nothing wrong with that, as it is in the best interests of the children, and it is not due to thinking negatively of Allah, may He be glorified and exalted. The same applies if having another pregnancy could harm her and she is unable to cope. But if the matter has to do with provision (rizq), then the Provider is Allah; regardless of whether you are sick or healthy, it is Allah, may He be glorified and exalted, Who provides for you and in His hand is the control of all things. So you must think positively of Allah and put your trust in Allah, for Allah, may He be glorified and exalted, is the Provider, Lord of Might, the Powerful. End quote.

Praise be to Allah.It is not permissible for anyone to do a marriage contract with a woman except with the permission of her guardian. There is a great deal of evidence to this effect, such as the words of the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him): “There can be no marriage contract except with a guardian.” Narrated by at-Tirmidhi (1101), Abu Dawood (2085) and Ibn Maajah (1881) from Abu Moosa al-Ash‘ari (may Allah be pleased with him). Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh at-Tirmidhi.
The majority of scholars are of the view – and it is the correct view – that a marriage contract done without a guardian is invalid, because the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “Any woman who gets married without the permission of her guardian, her marriage is invalid, her marriage is invalid, her marriage is invalid.” Narrated by at-Tirmidhi (1102), Abu Dawood (2038) and Ibn Maajah (1879) from the hadith of ‘Aa’ishah (may Allah be pleased with her). Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Irwa’ al-Ghaleel (1840).
The Hanafis are of the view that it is valid for a woman to get married without a guardian.
Ibn Qudaamah (may Allah have mercy on him) said: It is not valid to do a marriage contract except with a guardian. A woman does not have the authority to give herself or any other woman in marriage, or to appoint anyone except her guardian to act on her behalf regarding her marriage, so if she does that, the marriage is not valid.
This was narrated from ‘Umar, ‘Ali, Ibn Mas‘ood, Ibn ‘Abbaas, Abu Hurayrah and ‘Aa’ishah (may Allah be pleased with them).
It is also the view of Sa‘eed ibn al-Musayyib, al-Hasan, ‘Umar ibn ‘Abd al-‘Azeez, Jaabir ibn Zayd, ath-Thawri, Ibn Abi Layla, Ibn Shubrumah, Ibn al-Mubaarak, ‘Ubaydullah al-‘Anbari, ash-Shaafa‘i, Ishaaq and Abu ‘Ubayd… Abu Haneefah said: She has the right to give herself and others in marriage, and to appoint someone to act on her behalf regarding her marriage.
Then Ibn Qudaamah stated that the view of the majority is more likely to be correct, and he quoted as evidence the hadiths quoted above.” (Al-Mughni  9/345).
Given that there is a difference of opinion among the leading scholars regarding this matter, and that it is an issue that is subject to ijtihad, if a Muslim lives in a country which follows the Hanafi madhhab and regards a marriage contract done without a guardian as valid, and the marriage contract was done on that basis, then it may be deemed to be valid in that case, and the ruling of the court is not to be annulled.
Ibn Qudaamah (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
If a judge rules that this marriage contract is valid, or the one who did the marriage contract is a judge, it is not permissible to annul it. The same applies to all marriages that are done in an inappropriate way.
Al-Qaadi was of the view that it could be annulled.
This is also the view of al-Istakhri among the companions of ash-Shaafa‘i, because the marriage was done in a manner that is contrary to a religious text.
But the first view is more likely to be correct [that is, that it is not to be annulled], because it is a matter concerning which there is a difference of scholarly opinion and it is subject to ijtihad. So it is not permissible to annul the ruling. Moreover, this text is open to interpretation, and there are some reservations about its soundness, and there may be other evidence that contradicts it.” (Al-Mughni 9/347).
Based on that, what we think is that the marriage should be deemed to be valid, even though what you did was a mistake. Therefore you must repent from that, and strive to seek the approval of your wife’s father, if he is still not happy with this marriage, because you mistreated him badly.
If you renew the marriage contract with her, with her father acting as her guardian in the marriage contract, in the presence of two witnesses of good character, that would be better and more prudent.
And Allah knows best.

Praise be to Allah.What your wife did of inserting the sperm of a stranger is a grave sin and a betrayal of her husband, and is introducing a child who is not his. What she must do is repent to Allah, may He be exalted.
What you must do is deny that this child is yours and not attribute him to yourself, because if you do not deny that he is yours, he may inherit from you and inherit from your relatives, and look at your mother and your sister, and your womenfolk will not observe hijab in front of him, and he may be alone with them, and all of that is prohibited.
There is no way to deny that he is yours except by means of li‘aan.
Ibn Qudaamah (may Allah have mercy on him) said: Accusing the woman of zina is of three types: obligatory, which is when he sees his wife committing zina during a period of purity in which he has not had intercourse with her – in that case, he must keep away from her until her ‘iddah ends, then if she produces a child six months from the time of committing zina and he can deny that it is his child, he must accuse her of zina and deny that her child is his, because in that case it is almost certain that the child is from the adulterer. If he does not deny that the child is his, the child will be attributed to him, and may inherit from him and his relatives, and they may inherit from him, and the child will look at his daughters and sisters, when that is not permissible. So he must deny that the child is his so as to avoid all of that.
If his wife admits committing zina and he believes her, it is as if he saw her do that.” (Al-Mughni  8/71).
Ar-Ramli said in Nihaayat al-Muhtaaj (7/111): … He must deny that the child is his, otherwise if he keeps quiet the child will be attributed to him when he is not his child, which is not allowed, just as it is prohibited to deny a child who is his, for reasons that we will mention below, because there is a stern warning to the one who does that.  Because of the evil consequences that result in both cases, these are regarded as very abhorrent major sins, and in fact they are referred to as kufr (disbelief) in the sound reports, even though some of the scholars said that it is only kufr if the doer believes that it is permissible; or the reports may be interpreted as meaning that these actions are a cause that will lead to kufr; or the word kufr may be understood in the sense of being ungrateful for Allah’s blessings.
If he came to know of her zina in the sense of being certain or thinking that it is most likely, he should accuse her of it and should engage in the process of li‘aan in order to deny  that the child is his. Doing so is obligatory in both cases.
Otherwise, he may limit it to denying that the child is his through the process of li‘aan, because it is possible that the child is the result of a dubious marriage or a previous marriage. End quote.
For a description of li‘aan and how it is done, please see the answer to question no. 33615  .
In the process of li‘aan, you may limit it to denying that the child is yours and swearing by Allah four times that this child is not your child, and you should say on the fifth time: May the curse of Allah be upon you if you are lying.
The wife should not swear an oath at that point, if she admits her sin.
In that case, the child cannot be attributed to you and you are not obliged to spend on him. He should be given a random name, and his mother must take care of him; she may inherit from him and he may inherit from her.
And Allah knows best.

Praise be to Allah.Everything from when Allaah created the Pen until the Day of Resurrection is written in al-Lawh al-Mahfooz, because when Allaah first created the Pen, He said to it: “Write.” It said: “My Lord, what should I write?” He said: “Write what is to be. So at that moment it began to write what would be until the Day of Resurrection. And it is proven from the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) that when the foetus in its mother’s womb is four months old, Allaah sends an angel to breathe the soul into it and write down its provision, its lifespan and its deeds, and whether it is doomed or blessed.  
Provision is also written down and connected to its means, and it does not increase or decrease. Among those means are that man should work to seek provision, as Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“He it is Who has made the earth subservient to you (i.e. easy for you to walk, to live and to do agriculture on it); so walk in the path thereof and eat of His provision. And to Him will be the Resurrection” [al-Mulk 67:15]
Other means are:  
upholding ties of kinship, such as honouring one’s parents and upholding ties with relatives. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Whoever would like his provision to be abundant and his lifespan to be extended, let him uphold his ties of kinship.” 
Fearing Allaah (taqwa), as Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And whosoever fears Allaah and keeps his duty to Him, He will make a way for him to get out (from every difficulty).
3. And He will provide him from (sources) he never could imagine. And whosoever puts his trust in Allaah, then He will suffice him. Verily, Allaah will accomplish his purpose. Indeed Allaah has set a measure for all things” [al-Talaaq 65:2-3]
Do not say “Provision is foreordained and limited and I will not do any of the things that lead to it,” because this is helplessness; smartness and resolve mean striving to seek provision and that which will benefit you in religious and worldly terms. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The smart man is the one who takes stock of himself and strives to do that which will benefit him after death, and the helpless one is the one who follows his own whims and desires and engages in wishful thinking, (assuming that Allaah will forgive him regardless of what he does and that he does not need to strive to good deeds).” 
Just as provision is written and connected to its means, so too marriage is also written and preordained. For both spouses it is written that he or she will be the spouse of this particular person. Nothing is hidden from Allaah on earth or in heaven. End quote. 
And Allaah knows best. 
Shaykh Muhammad ibn Saalih al-‘Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on him)

Praise be to Allah.Significance of choosing a righteous companion 
As this world is a stage that leads to the Hereafter, in which man is tested to see what he will do, so that he will be requited for it on the Day of Resurrection, what the wise Muslim must do is seek in this world everything that will help him to attain happiness and bliss in the Hereafter. 
The most important help and support is righteous company. That begins with the Muslim society in which he lives, then with choosing pious friends, as the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) enjoined: “Do not keep company with anyone but a believer.” Narrated by Abu Dawud (4832); classed as hasan (good) by al-Albani in Sahih al-Jami‘.
Then finally he should choose a righteous wife who he hopes will be the best companion to help him attain eternal happiness in Paradise with Allah, may He be glorified and exalted.
Best qualities of a good wife
The righteous wife is one who is good in many aspects.
She is the one who it is thought will guard her chastity and her honour in the husband’s presence and absence, and be diligent with regard to both minor and major issues.
Allah, may He be glorified and exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning):
“Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient, and guard in (the husband’s) absence what Allah would have them guard” [an-Nisa 4:34].
She is the one who is of good character and has good manners. She is not known for foul speech, meanness or bad manners; rather she is good-natured, pure of soul and clean of heart, speaks in a gentle manner and treats people kindly.
More important than all of that, she accepts advice and listens to it attentively and wholeheartedly; she is not one of those who are used to arguing stubbornly and arrogantly.
Al-Asma‘i said: 
“An elder from the tribe of Banu’l-‘Anbar said: It was said that women are of three types: one who is easy-going, gentle, chaste and dignified, Muslim, a help to her family, and not a burden on them; one who is merely a vessel for childbearing; and one who is like a heavy yoke that Allah places on the neck of whomever He wills, and takes it away from whomever He wills.”
One of the scholars said: “The best of women is the one who, if she is given she is grateful, and if she is deprived she is patient; you feel happy when you look at her, and she obeys you if you instruct her to do something.”
She is the one who upholds her connection to her Lord and always strives to increase her level of faith and piety. She does not omit any obligatory duty, and she is keen to do some nafl (supererogatory) deeds. She gives precedence to pleasing Allah, may He be glorified, over everything else.
Concerning that, the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “Choose the one who is religiously-committed, may your hands be rubbed with dust (i.e., may you prosper).” Narrated by al-Bukhari (4802) and Muslim (1466).
The righteous wife is the one whom you see is serious about caring for and raising your children, teaching them Islam, good manners and the Quran, and instilling in them love for Allah, love for His Messenger, and love of good for people. Her main concern is not what they may attain in this world of prominence, wealth and degrees; rather she is concerned that they should attain a high level of piety, religious commitment, good character and knowledge.
In addition to all of that, the Muslim should choose a wife who gives him comfort when he sees her, and he feels joy in his heart when she is present, so she fills his house and his life with ease, joy and happiness.
It was narrated that Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) said: It was said: O Messenger of Allah, what type of wife is best? He said: “The one who makes (her husband) happy when he looks at her, and she obeys him if he instructs her to do something, and she does not do anything with regard to herself or his wealth in a manner of which he does not approve.”
Narrated by Ahmad (2/251); classed as hasan (good) by al-Albani in as-Silsilah as-Sahihah (1838).
It was said to ‘Aishah (may Allah be pleased with her): Which type of woman is best? She said: The one who does not know about saying bad things, and she is not crafty like men; her focus is on adorning herself for her husband and taking care of her family.
For more information, please see questions no. 6585 , 8391 , 26744 , and 83777 .
References
Muhadarat al-Udaba by ar-Raghib al-Asfahani, 1/410. 
‘Uyoon al-Akhbar by Ibn Qutaybah, 1/375.
And Allah knows best.

Praise be to Allah.Firstly:
The basic principle is that the mother who has custody of her children does not have the right to take anything from her children’s maintenance money in return for taking care of them; rather she is entrusted with the money that is sent for her children’s maintenance and is expected to dispose of it according to what is in their best interests.
Ad-Dardir al-Maliki (may Allah have mercy on him) said: She does not have the right to spend any of her child’s maintenance money on herself in return for taking care of the child. End quote from Bulghat as-Salik li Aqrab al-Masalik (2/765).
Secondly:
It is permissible for the father and mother to take from their children’s wealth for their needs, so long as it does not harm the children.
It was narrated from ‘A’ishah, from the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him), that he said: “A man’s son is part of his earnings, among the best of his earnings, so you may take from their wealth.” Narrated by Abu Dawud (3529); classed as sahih by al-Albani.
Ibn al-Amir as-San‘ani (may Allah have mercy on him) said: It is soundly narrated from Abu’z-Zubayr that he heard Jabir ibn ‘Abdillah say: The father and mother may take from their child’s wealth without his permission.
End quote from Risalah Latifah fi Sharh Hadith Anta wa Maluka li Abik (p. 24). The report was narrated by Ibn Hazm in al-Muhalla with his isnad (6/385).
It was narrated that ‘Aa’ishah said: The Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “Your children are a gift from Allah to you, {He gives to whom He wills female [children], and He gives to whom He wills males} [al-Shoora 42:49]. They and their wealth are yours if you need it.” Narrated by al-Hakim in al-Mustadrak (3123), who said: It is sahih according to the conditions of al-Bukhari and Muslim. Also narrated by al-Bayhaqi in al-Kubra (15745). Classed as sahih by al-Albani in as-Silsilah as-Sahihah (2564). See the commentary of Shu‘ayb al-Arna’ut et al. on Sunan Ibn Majah, hadith no. 2137.
As-Sawi (may Allah have mercy on him) said, explaining that it is permissible for the mother to take from her child’s wealth, if she is in difficulty, and she does not regard it as being in return for looking after the child:
She does not have the right to spend on herself in return for looking after the child.
But if it is for another reason – meaning that she takes it for a reason other than looking after the child – and is in difficulty, then she may spend on herself from the child’s wealth, whether what she takes is less than the going rate for looking after the child or more than that, because she is entitled to maintenance even if she does not look after the child.
End quote from Hashiyat as-Sawi ‘ala ash-Sharh as-Saghir (2/765).
Shaykh Salih al-Fawzan (may Allah preserve him) said: The father has the right to take from his child’s wealth so long as it will not harm the child or take what the child needs, because the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “The best of what you consume is your earnings, and your children are among your earnings.” And he said: “You and your wealth belong to your father.” This undoubtedly refers to the father’s rights, but it also includes the mother’s rights, because she is like the father according to the correct view. So she may take from her child’s wealth that which will benefit her and meet her needs, so long as that will not be detrimental to the child and what she takes is not needed by him.
End quote from al-Muntaqa min Fatawa al-Fawzan.
Based on the above:
It is permissible for you to take from your children’s wealth to pay for medical treatment, on condition that that will not harm the children. In other words, that should only be after ensuring that the children have enough.
And Allah knows best.

Praise be to Allah.Is it obligatory for a couple to produce children?
We hope that our brother will be certain that not one of the scholars said that it is obligatory for a couple to produce children, and that if they do not produce twenty children then they are sinning and deserve to be punished by Allah! 
Similarly, not one of the earlier or contemporary scholars – as far as we know – has said that it is the fate of the wife to have a baby and breastfeed every single year, or that if the couple choose to delay pregnancy and having children, that is haram. 
We mention these facts to you, and ward off doubts based on illusion, so that we can introduce the Islamic ruling, first of all, and so as to highlight that everything that you mentioned in your question is not an argument that has any sound basis, because the Islamic ruling is far removed from what you mentioned in your question. 
Is it permissible to delay having children?
In fact, the Islamic evidence indicates that it is permissible to delay having children. As Jabir ibn ‘Abdullah (may Allah be pleased with said): “We used to engage in ‘azl [coitus interruptus, a form of contraception] at the time when the Quran was being revealed. (Narrated by al-Bukhari, 5208) and Muslim , 1440) ‘Azl (coitus interruptus) means ejaculating outside the woman’s vagina in order to avoid pregnancy. 
Shaykh Ibn Baz (may Allah have mercy on him) quoted this hadith as evidence for it being permissible to space having children in order to give them a proper Islamic upbringing, when he said: 
“If a woman has a lot of children, and it is difficult for her to give them a proper Islamic upbringing because they are so many, then there is nothing wrong with her taking something to space her pregnancies in order to achieve this important purpose, so that pregnancy will not adversely affect her or her children, as Allah has permitted ‘azl for this and similar purposes.” (Fatawa Nur ‘ala ad-Darb by Ibn Baz ed. by ash-Shuway‘ir, 21/394) 
Is contraception haram?
Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymin (may Allah have mercy on him) said: 
“Taking contraceptive measures is permissible in principle, because the Companions (may Allah be pleased with them) used the method of ‘azl (coitus interruptus) during the time of the Messenger (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him), and he did not forbid them to do that. But it is contrary to what is preferable, because having a lot of children is something that is prescribed and is desirable.” (Fatawa Nur ‘ala ad-Darb by al-‘Uthaymin, 22/2)
We have previously stated that it is encouraged to have a lot of righteous children .  
The ruling on different considerations for delaying having children 
So you may rest assured that if you and your wife decide to delay having children, as you mentioned in your question, that is not regarded as a sin or disobedience in principle, unless there are other considerations that have an impact on this individual or personal choice, which may be dictated by present-day circumstances: 

If the decision to delay having children is widespread, at the societal, national or ummah-wide level, then in this case it becomes a destructive and negative choice, and in that case the ruling is that it is not allowed, because it has moved from being a permissible and natural matter to one that is imposed from without and will lead to negative consequences, and is therefore blameworthy. 

If the motive for delaying having children is fear for their provision and livelihood , then this reflects a serious doubt concerning our belief in the will and decree of Allah and our belief in the abundant provision of Allah and that He will help those who strive to earn a living in the land. It reflects an unjustified fear of the future and a failure to produce and strive. In that case it is blameworthy and is not allowed, and there are clear fatwas that speak of it. 

If the reason for not having children is arguments and conflict between the spouses , where one of them does not want children and the other one does, then the one who is refusing does not have the right to do so, because having children is a right of both spouses, and it is not permissible for one of them to refuse with no excuse or good reason.

If the motive for delaying having children, or ceasing to do so, is to follow the cultural norms of non-Muslims and imitate them blindly, out of admiration for their culture and infatuation with their way of life, then undoubtedly the ruling in this case is that it is not allowed. One of the great principles of Islamic teaching is that the individual Muslim should be independent in his thinking and think within the framework of Islamic teaching; he should weigh up pros and cons objectively in the light of the circumstances that he lives in, and base his decisions on the Islamic principles in which he believes and with which he grew up, far removed from the illusionary psychological influences that are imposed by the media that represents the corporate powers that exist today, and should free himself from feelings of inferiority in the face of what he sees of the attitudes, customs and actions of the disbelieving nations. 

If the means of delaying having children is medicine or surgical procedures that will prevent having children altogether (sterilisation), so that the woman or her husband will lose the ability to ever have children, then this is a serious transgression and is ingratitude for the blessing of Allah that He has bestowed upon His slaves, and it is destruction of a great blessing that Allah has instilled and created in them on the basis of great wisdom. 

The Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) forbade such things. This is the case concerning which there is no difference of opinion among the scholars that it is prohibited, for it is the undermining of one of the most important aims of Shari`ah and a blatant violation of one of the five necessities that Islam came to protect, which are: religious commitment, life, honour, wealth, and offspring. 
These five cases are what the scholars refer to when they speak about spacing or limiting the number of children . They are the reason why they spoke in strict terms in many cases, so that no one would take undue advantage of the fatwas which say that contraception is permissible . 
That is why we have mentioned these five cases here, so as to draw attention to them. In any other case, where a couple takes an individual decision on the basis of a genuine need, there is no blame on them for that. 
Anyone who reflects on the statement of the International Islamic Fiqh Council no. 39 (1/5), which has to do with family planning, will clearly understand that the way in which it is drafted is very careful and clear, as we have explained above. It says in the statement: 
The session of the Islamic Fiqh Council held during its fifth conference in Kuwait, 1-6 Jumada al-Akhir 1409 AH/10-15 December 1988 AH. 
After studying the research papers presented by council members and experts on the topic of family planning, and listening to the discussion that took place on the topic, 
And based on the fact that one of the aims of marriage according to Islamic teaching is to produce children and preserve the human race, and that it is not permissible to undermine this aim, because undermining it is contrary to the texts of Islam and their teachings which call for having a lot of offspring, protecting them and caring for them because protecting offspring is one of the five holistic principles that are promoted by Islamic teaching, 
The council determined the following: 

Firstly: it is not permissible to promulgate laws restricting the freedom of couples to have children. 
Secondly: it is prohibited to completely eradicate the ability to have children in the case of either the man or the woman, which is known as sterilisation, so long as there is no necessary reason, according to Islamic standards, for doing so. 
Thirdly: it is permissible to use temporary methods of birth control for the purpose of spacing pregnancies, or preventing pregnancy for a specific length of time, if there is a valid reason, according to Islamic teachings, for doing so, according to what a couple decide on the basis of mutual consultation and consent, on condition that this does not lead to any harm and that the method used is Islamically permissible and does not cause harm to any existing pregnancy. End quote. 

And Allah knows best.

Praise be to Allah.Firstly:
If the situation is as described in the question, undoubtedly this is one of the troubles of life. It is not appropriate for a man whom Allah has enjoined to be in charge of his household, spend on them and shoulder the responsibility of raising his children to be like this. The Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “Each of you is in a position of responsibility and each of you is answerable for those under his care. A man is in a position of responsibility over his household and is answerable for those under his care. A woman is in a position of responsibility over her husband’s house and children and is answerable for those under her care. Indeed, each of you is in a position of responsibility and each of you is answerable for those under his care.” Narrated by al-Bukhari (2278).
It is well known that the woman has the right to ask for divorce (talaq) or khul‘ if there is a reason for that. It was narrated from Ibn ‘Abbas (may Allah be pleased with him) that the wife of Thabit ibn Qays came to the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) and said: “O Messenger of Allah, I do not find any fault with Thaabit ibn Qays in his character or his religious commitment, but I do not want to commit any act of disbelief after becoming a Muslim.” The Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said to her, “Will you give back his garden [that he had given to her as the mahr]?” She said, “Yes.” So the Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said to Thaabit: “Take back your garden, and divorce her.” 
What is meant by her words “but I do not want to commit any act of disbelief after becoming a Muslim” is: I do not want to do any actions that are contrary to the rulings of Islam, such as despising my husband, disobeying him, not fulfilling his rights, and so on.
See: Fath al-Bari (9/400).
Shaykh Ibn Jibrin (may Allah have mercy on him) said, explaining what justifies seeking khul‘:
If the woman dislikes her husband’s characteristics, such as if he is harsh, strict, short-tempered, filled with anger, criticizes the slightest action and rebukes her for the slightest shortcoming, then she has the right to seek khul‘.
Secondly: if she dislikes his appearance, such as a flaw, a defect, or a deficiency in his senses, then she has the right to seek khul‘.
Thirdly: if he is lacking in religious commitment, such as if he does not pray or is careless about attending prayers in congregation, or he breaks the fast of Ramadan with no excuse, or he goes to places where haram activities take place, such as zina, drinking, listening to music and entertainment, and the like, then she has the right to seek khul‘.
Fourthly: If he deprives her of her rights, such as maintenance, clothing or essential needs, when he is able to provide those things, then she has the right to seek khul‘.
Fifthly: If he does not give her her right to regular intimacy in a way that will keep her chaste because he is impotent, or has no interest in her, or he prefers someone else, or he is not fair in sharing his time [among co-wives], then she has the right to seek khul‘. And Allah knows best. End quote.
See also the answer to question no. 1859 .
Secondly:
As your sister is the one who is in charge, and she knows her husband’s condition better than anyone, she is the one who should decide whether it is better to stay with him for the sake of the children despite these annoyances, because the presence of the father and the sense of family unity has a positive psychological impact on the children, gives them a good social standing and it helps in giving them a good upbringing, and in many cases it is better than separation.
We should also note that our advice should differ, depending on whether the couple have children or not. Making sacrifices for the sake of the children’s safety, their social standing, their psychological wellbeing and sense of family is worth patience and sacrifice.
She should also persist in calling upon Allah, asking Him to rectify his condition, and she should ask sincere and knowledgeable people to advise him. For hearts fluctuate, and they are in the hand of Allah. How many people have come back to their senses and settled down after having gone astray and misbehaved.
If there is anyone among his family and relatives who is rational and mature in thinking, and is held in high esteem by him and can influence him, then she can seek his help to influence him and tell him about his situation, if there is the hope that this will help to rectify his condition.
What appears to us to be the case is that if your sister shows patience, which is indicative of her rational mind and far-sightedness, no one should interfere by advising her to leave him, which could cause greater harm than the harm that results from her staying with this husband despite the problems he has.
But if she fears for her life, her faith or her children, then let her do that; there is nothing wrong with her seeking separation from him in that case.
And Allah knows best.