Category: Ahwal

Praise be to Allah.To the one who is asking this question, we say that this woman
should be taught to say the Shahaadatayn (the two declarations of faith)
and then how to practise Islamic rituals such as salaat (prayer), etc. After
that, a Muslim qaadi (judge) could do the marriage contract (nikaah)
for him. If there is no qaadi there, then the director of the Islamic centre
could do it, in the presence of two male witnesses.
As regards what should be said by the one who does the marriage
contract, he should say khutbah al-haajah, which you will find under
the question that comes before this one (# 2066);
I will send it to you with this reply, in sha Allaah.
May Allaah reward you.

Praise be to Allah.If you want to look for a wife for someone, or a husband for a woman, then
you can ask him about his wishes, such as the desired age, level of education, employment
situation, country and origin and position of the family, and whether he has any
preferences about her general appearance, such as skin colour, height, etc. The most
important characteristic to ask about is a person’s level of commitment to Islam.
This kind of useful question is fine.
But asking for details of a person’s past and wanting to know what
sins they might have committed when they were ignorant about Islam – this is not
right at all. Allaah covers people’s sins and loves to see them covered (i.e., not
dragged out into the open). So long as a person has repented, his sins have been wiped
out. Islam deletes whatever came before, so why should we ask questions that will only
embarrass people? Allaah accepts people’s repentance without their having to confess
or expose their sins to any other person. A number of the Sahaabah had committed adultery
and murder repeatedly, or had buried infant girls alive, or stolen things, but when they
entered Islam they were the best of people. No one needs to be reminded of a shameful
past; it is over and done with, and Allaah is the All-Forgiving, Most Merciful. What
matters when considering a person for marriage is how that person is now: is he righteous
or not? Has he cut all ties with his past and his wrong deeds, or not? If he is clearly
living a good and righteous life now, then it is wrong to dig up the past. If there is any
fear of anything that could have future implications, such as certain diseases and so on,
then there are medical tests which can give the answer and put your mind at rest.
As far as giving a detailed description of a prospective wife to someone
is concerned, this can be done in writing: one of her mahram relatives (i.e. a blood
relative to whom marriage is permanently forbidden) or a woman who knows her can write
down a description, then a trustworthy person can deliver it to one who is seriously
considering a marriage proposal. The Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon
him) said: “No woman should describe another woman to her husband as if he can see
her.” (Reported by al-Bukhaari, 4839)
The wisdom behind this prohibition is the fact that a
husband might like the sound of what he hears, so he may divorce the one who described the
other to him, or there may be temptation to do wrong. (Commentary on the above
hadeeth in Fath al-Baari).
We ask Allaah to help us all to do that which He loves and
will earn His pleasure. May Allaah bless our Prophet Muhammad.

Praise be to Allah.
The answer is, yes, all of this is permitted, even if it happens before the wedding
party, so long as the contract has been drawn up according to Sharee’ah, with a
guardian and two witnesses, and the proposal has been given and accepted, and both
parties consent to the marriage. And Allaah knows best.

Praise be to Allah.
If the son will commit haraam acts if he does not get married, then the father has no
right to prevent him from getting married for the reason stated in the question. Allaah
is the Provider and those brothers and sisters are part of His creation; He will never
forsake them. Allaah has promised to help the one who gets married in order to keep
himself chaste. He says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And marry those among you who are single (i.e. a man who has no wife and a
woman who has no husband) and (also marry) the saalihoon (pious, fit and
capable ones) of your (male) slaves and maid-servants (female slaves). If they be
poor, Allaah will enrich them out of His Bounty. And Allaah is All-Sufficient for His
creatures’ needs, All-Knowing (about the state of the people).”
[al-Noor 24:32]
The Messenger of Allaah
said: “There are three to whom Allaah’s help is due: the
mujaahid who goes out to fight for the sake of Allaah; the slaves who makes a
contract with his master to pay installments towards his freedom; and the one who
gets married because he wants to remain chaste.” (al-Tirmidhi, no. 1566. Abu ‘Eesaa said: this
is a hasan hadeeth. See also Saheeh al-Jaami’, no. 3050).
But if the son is able to be patient and give himself up to working and helping his
father to provide for his brothers and sisters, then he will be rewarded, for Allaah
never allows the reward of those who do good to be lost.
And Allaah knows best.

Praise be to Allah.
What I advise you to do is to put your trust in Allaah and hasten to remarry. Nothing will harm
you so long as you put your trust in Allaah, as He says (interpretation of the meaning): “. . .
And whosoever puts his trust in Allaah, then He will suffice him. . .” [al-Talaaq 65:3]
But this time you should make the effort to check out your future wife and her family very
carefully. Take a lesson from your past experience, for the Prophet SAWS (peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The believer should not stung from the same hole
twice.” (Reported by al-Bukhaari, Fath, no. 6133).
Something that may help you not to worry is the fact that it appears from your question that the
fault lay with your ex-wife, and not with you. So you must strive to recite the verses of the
Quraan which offer protection (muawwidhaat i.e., Surat al-Falaq and Surat al-Naas)
immediately after each prayer and before sleeping, blow into your hands when you recite them,
and wipe your face and body with your hands.
May Allaah protect you and us from all evil.

Praise be to Allah.;
If a woman deserts her husband, the marriage contract will not be nullified. It remains valid until
the husband divorces the wife, the wife gets a divorce (khul), or the Qaadi (judge ruling
according to Islamic shariah) annuls the marriage contract.
Allaah knows best.

Praise be to Allah. 

Your apology is accepted. Striving to understand the rulings of Sharee’ah in this and similar matters is not haraam or shameful; it is necessary.

As regards your question, anal intercourse with one’s wife is a major sin, whether it occurs at the time of menstruation or not. The Prophet SAWS (Peace & Blessings of Allah be upon Him) cursed the one who does this: “Cursed is the one who approaches his wife in her rectum” (Reported by Imaam Ahmad, 2/479; see also Saheeh al-Jaami’, 5865).

The Prophet SAWS (Peace & Blessings of Allah be upon Him) also said: “The one who has intercourse with a menstruating woman, or with a woman in her rectum, or who goes to a fortune-teller, has disbelieved in what was revealed to Muhammad.” (Reported by al-Tirmidhi, no. 1/243; see also Saheeh al-Jaami’, 5918).

In spite of the fact that many wives of sound nature refuse this, there are some husbands who threaten their wives with divorce if they do not obey them (in this matter), and some even deceive their wives, who are too shy to ask scholars about it, into thinking that it is permissible. The Prophet SAWS (Peace & Blessings of Allah be upon Him) said that a man may approach his wife in any way he likes, from the front or the back, so long as intercourse takes place in the place from through which a child is born. There is no doubt that the rectum is the place from which waste matter is expelled, not the place from which a child is born.

Another reason why some may commit this immoral act is that they enter upon what should be a clean married life with some jaahili (ignorant) traditions and odd practices, or with memories of scenes from indecent movies, for which they have not repented to Allaah.

It is known that this act is forbidden even if both partners agree to it. Mutual consent to a haraam deed does not make it halaal.

I ask Allah to bestow upon us a proper understanding of His religion and to make us adhere to its limits, for He is the All-Hearing, the One Who answers prayers.

Praise be to Allah.al-hamdu lillaah.

If a man executes a valid marriage contract with a woman then it is
permissible for the two to do as they please between themselves, even with
only the contract. There is no period prescribed by Islamic shari’ah
between the contract and consummation of the marriage, so this issue is up
to the two partners as to what they decide is most appropriate and in their
best interests.

It is incumbent upon both parties to consider, respect, and ensure the
other one’s personal comfort and ease. Thus, if the husband sees that the
wife needs some time to become acclimated and develop their relationship
and level of intimacy before consummation, such as 3 months, for example,
he should do so, and vice versa. Likewise, it is incumbent upon the wife
if she sees that her husband feels an urgent need to guard his chastity by
consummating the marriage that she should not prolong the period so that he
does not fall into a state of awkward discomfort and difficulty, and vice
versa.

Praise be to Allah.You should treat your mother respectfully, and try to persuade her to
agree to your marrying this girl who has repented and is practising her religion. But if
your mother does not agree, and you cannot be patient and you fear that you will fall into
sin if you do not marry her, then it is still permissible for you to marry her. And Allaah
is the source of strength.

Praise be to Allah.Allah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“Your wives are a tilth for you, so go to your tilth (Have sexual relations with your wives in any manner as long as it is in the vagina and not in the anus ), when or how you will, and send (good deeds, or ask Allah to bestow upon you pious offspring) for your ownselves beforehand. And fear Allah, and know that you are to meet Him (in the Hereafter), and give good tidings to the believers (O Muhammad).” [Al-Baqarah 2:223]
From the word Harth (tilth) we understand that what is permissible is only in the vagina (the front passage), especially because this is what will produce children. The semen that is planted in the womb from which offspring come is likened to the seeds which are planted in the ground, from which vegetation comes, as both of them are substances from which something else is produced.
The phrase translated as when or how you will means, in any manner you wish, from behind or from the front, sitting or with the wife lying on her back or on her side, so long as it is in the place of tilth (i.e., the vagina, the place from which a baby is born).
The poet said:
The wombs are lands for us to till; we have to plant the seeds and whatever grows is up to Allah.
It was reported from Khuzaymah ibn Thabit (may Allah be pleased with him) that the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “Allah is not too shy to tell you the truth: do not have intercourse with your wives in the anus .” (Narrated by Imam Ahmad, 5/213; a good Hadith)
Ibn `Abbas (may Allah be pleased with him) said: “The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “Allah will not look at a man who has intercourse with his wife in her anus .” (Narrated by Ibn Abi Shaybah, 3/529; narrated and classed as authentic by At-Tirmidhi, 1165) (See Nayl Al-Maram by Siddiq Hasan Khan, 1/151-154)
If a man does this, his wife is not considered to be divorced as many people think, because there is no Shar`i evidence at all that indicates this. But the scholars said that if a man habitually does this, his wife has the right to ask for a divorce, because he is an evildoer who is causing harm by his action, and also because the purpose of marriage cannot be achieved through this action. The wife has to resist this evil action and remind her husband about Allah and about the punishment for transgressing the limits set by Allah. If the husband repents to Allah from this deed, there is no reason why she should not stay with him, and there is no need to renew the marriage contract. 
For more details, please see the following answers: 5560 , 10053 , 23339 , and 1202 .
And Allah is the Source of strength.