Tag: Q n A

Praise be to Allah.It is very beneficial for the parents to show interest in their children’s questions, regardless of what the parents really think of these questions, then they should not behave as if these questions are causing some sort of embarrassment to them, so that the child will not develop some kind of sensitivity regarding some issues that he is asking about.
With regard to the question mentioned here, the mother could refer in her answer to Allah the Creator and His might, and how He can bring forth the living from the dead, and bring forth the dead from the living; how Allah created Adam from dust, then created his offspring and children after that in the bellies of their mothers; and how the might of Allah, may He be exalted, is manifested in making the belly, even though it contains what it contains, a suitable place for the foetus to live in for a while; and that the foetus goes through stages from a nutfah (sperm drop) to a ‘alaqah (blood clot) to a mudghah (chewed piece of flesh), shaped and unshaped.
Thus the mother will shift the conversation to speaking of Allah’s might, His power of creation, His care, His wisdom and how He guarantees provision to the foetus in its mother’s belly, even though this foetus is powerless and its mother has no control at all over its provision. And the mother can speak of how Allah has allocated a particular length of time for the foetus to remain in the mother’s belly, then by His might He brings the baby forth from his mother’s belly, as He brings forth the chick from the egg.
Similarly, the mother could answer her child’s question, at this age, by giving general answers so that the child will be able to understand what he hears, and it will undoubtedly be correct information. It is good to support the answer with appropriate verses from the Holy Qur’an, so as to shift the conversation to a different category altogether, and spare the mother from having to give blunt, embarrassing and sensitive answers, and also to avoid giving incorrect information.
And Allah knows best.

Praise be to Allah.Firstly:
The maternal uncle has no guardianship over his sister’s daughters if their father is still alive
The maternal uncle has no guardianship over his sister’s daughters if their father is still alive, is of sound mind, is accountable and is present. It is well known that care of children is a duty on parents so long as they are alive, and they are the ones who are responsible before Allah, may He be exalted, for taking care of them and bringing them up.
It was narrated from ‘Abdullah ibn ‘Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) that the Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “Each of you is in a position of responsibility and each of you is answerable for those under his care. The ruler of the people is in a position of responsibility and is answerable for those under his care. A man is in a position of responsibility over his household and is answerable for those under his care. A woman is in a position of responsibility over her husband’s house and children and is answerable for those under her care. The slave is in a position of responsibility over his master’s wealth and is answerable for it. Each of you is in a position of responsibility and each of you is answerable for those under his care.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari (2554) and Muslim (1829).
But the maternal uncle has a responsibility with regard to enjoining what is right and forbidding what is wrong. So if he sees his sister’s children doing something wrong, he must rebuke them.
It was narrated that Abu Sa‘eed al-Khudri said: I heard the Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) say: “Whoever among you sees an evil deed, let him change it with his hand (by taking action); if he cannot, then with his tongue (by speaking out); and if he cannot, then with his heart (by hating it and feeling it is wrong), and that is the weakest of faith.” Narrated by Muslim (49).
An-Nawawi (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
With regard to the Prophet’s words “let him change it,” this is in the sense that doing this is obligatory, according to the consensus of the ummah. The obligation to enjoin what is right and forbid what is wrong is in accordance with the Qur’an, the Sunnah and the consensus of the ummah. It is also part of that sincere advice (naseehah) which is Islam.
End quote from Sharh Saheeh Muslim (2/22).
Secondly:
Does the maternal uncle have the right to discipline his sister’s children?
In a situation such as this, the maternal uncle does not have the right to smack his sister’s children, because disciplining them by smacking them is only the right of the father or the one who has guardianship over the child, as appointed by the father or by the judge of an Islamic court.
It says in al-Mawsoo‘ah al-Fiqhiyyah al-Kuwaitiyyah (10/25):
It is permissible for the father or mother to smack their child by way of disciplining him, and the same applies to the one who is appointed as the child’s guardian…
As for the teacher, he may obtain the authority from the child’s guardian to discipline the child. End quote.
But if the father knows what the maternal uncle is doing and keeps quiet about it, then this is approval on his part of what the uncle is doing, so it is like delegating the uncle to educate and discipline them as he sees fit.
In some families, the maternal uncle has a status that allows him to discipline the children, and this is a matter of custom that people acknowledge and do not object to it.
But if the father objects to what the maternal uncle is doing, then the uncle should limit his involvement to offering advice [to the children], and he should also offer advice to the father and mother, because this is their responsibility regarding their daughters, and they are the ones who have the authority to prevent their daughters from wearing haraam clothing by force.
And Allah knows best.

Praise be to Allah.First of all, it is essential to differentiate between mere supposition and imagination, and what it is feared may actually happen. Not everyone who makes friends with someone who is younger than him has bad intentions, unless he is known for doing bad things or he is not someone who is known for being righteous, in which case it is essential to be careful and take precautions.
In that case, what may be done is the following:

Alert his family and urge them to keep an eye their son and watch his behaviour, whilst trying to get to know his friends better.
Explain to him in a convincing manner the danger of making friends with such people, and the necessity of keeping away from them, whilst informing him of the intentions that some of them may have in making friends with him.
Explain to the students as a whole the rulings having to do with the ‘awrah and the obligation to cover it and guard it from people in general, and the obligation to avert the gaze, and to beware of mixing with bad friends.
Address those young men directly and advise them, and explain to them the warnings that the scholars gave against making friends with beardless youths, the danger of looking at them, and that the opinion of the scholars is that it is unlawful to look with desire at the face of a good-looking beardless young man; in fact some of the scholars stated that it is unlawful to look at him at all.

An-Nawawi said: The evidence for that is that is some ways he is like a woman, because he is desired as a woman is desired, and his appearance is beautiful like that of a woman. In fact, many of them may even be better looking than many women; indeed the prohibition may be more applicable to them for another reason, which is that in their case the ways of evil are more available than in the case of women.
End quote. Sharh Saheeh Muslim (4/31).
Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (may Allah have mercy on him) said: The one who looks repeatedly at a beardless young man and the like, or persists in looking, and says, I am not looking with desire, is not to be believed, because if he has no reason for which he needs to look at him, then persisting in looking at him can only be interpreted as the result of the pleasure he finds in that. As for an accidental glance, it is pardoned if he then averts his gaze.
End quote. Majmoo‘ al-Fataawa (15/419).

If nothing of the sort is happening, but you still fear for him, then advise his family to move him to another circle, so as to keep him away from those mischief-makers.

And Allah knows best.

Praise be to Allah.It is obvious to anyone who reflects that there has arisen a division and separation between knowledge and action, between knowledge and proper manners and attitudes, in the minds of many of the ordinary people and of the elite. As a result of that, many of them think that the issue of good manners and morals is purely theoretical, and that it is connected to the parents’ ability to fill their children’s minds with all kinds of knowledge and memorisation of texts, in addition to their efforts to acquire and read the greatest possible number of books and research material that discuss approaches to teaching morals and manners, and the like – to the extent that in their minds, dealing with Islamic texts has become something purely theoretical and academic, without thinking that those texts should have an impact on people’s behaviour and attitude, and on their deeds and actions.
One example of that is their interpretation of the verse in which Allah, may He be exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning): “Only those fear Allah, from among His servants, who have knowledge” [Faatir 35:28]. They interpret this verse as referring to everyone who has knowledge of shar‘i rulings, or of empirical science, even though the verse does not mean that every knowledgeable person fears Allah; rather it means that everyone who fears Allah is knowledgeable.
Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (may Allah have mercy on him) said in Majmoo‘ al-Fataawa (7/539):
Allah, may He be exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning): “Only those fear Allah, from among His servants, who have knowledge” [Faatir 35:28]. This indicates that everyone who fears Allah has knowledge, and this is true; it does not indicate that everyone who has knowledge fears Him. End quote.
Elsewhere (7/21), he (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
What is meant is that no one fears Him except one who has knowledge. Allah tells us that everyone who fears Allah has knowledge, as He says in another verse (interpretation of the meaning):
“Is one who is devoutly obedient during periods of the night, prostrating and standing [in prayer], fearing the Hereafter and hoping for the mercy of his Lord, [like one who does not]? Say, ‘Are those who know equal to those who do not know?’” [az-Zumar 39:9].
End quote.
This second verse is the other verse to which Shaykh al-Islam was referring, and which is misinterpreted as being praise for knowledge and understanding, even if they are disassociated from righteous deeds and good manners and attitude. That is because they quote the last part of the verse, and not the first part. The words “Say, ‘Are those who know equal to those who do not know?’” are to be understood in the light of what comes before them: “Is one who is devoutly obedient during periods of the night, prostrating and standing [in prayer], fearing the Hereafter and hoping for the mercy of his Lord, [like one who does not]?” Therefore “those who know”, in this instance, are those who stand and pray to Allah during the night, out of fear of His fire and hoping for His paradise and His mercy; those who do not know are who are heedless of that, so think about this! Hence Imam Ibn al-Qayyim said in Miftaah Dar as-Sa‘aadah (1/89), affirming an important guideline in this regard:
The early generations only used the word fiqh (lit., understanding) to refer to knowledge accompanied by action (and not just theoretical knowledge). End quote.
This is the real meaning of fiqh according to our righteous predecessors: Knowledge which is accompanied by action. But when many daa‘iyahs and educators overlooked this fact, they ended up focusing on knowledge as something theoretical and academic, and they did not think of it as a means of correcting behaviour, purifying hearts, striving against one’s evil inclinations and developing right attitudes, because they thought that the academic side of knowledge and fiqh was all there was to it and was all that one should seek – but that is not the case.
Raising the young generation and teaching them good morals and attitudes, and how to adhere to religious teachings, is something that cannot be achieved except by pious people, whether they are scholars, daa‘iyahs, reformers or teachers. The word translated here as pious scholar (rabbaani) refers to one who is greatly devoted to the Lord, may He be glorified, in his knowledge, his deeds and his teaching of others.
Allah, may He be exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning):
“…but [instead, he would say], ‘Be pious scholars of the Lord because of what you have taught of the Scripture and because of what you have studied” [Aal ‘Imraan 3:79].
Imam ash-Shawkaani (may Allah have mercy on him) said in Fat-h al-Qadeer (1/407):
The word translated here as pious scholar (rabbaani) refers to one who is devoted to the Lord (ar-Rabb). The suffix -aani is added by way of emphasis, just as one who has a large beard (lihyah) may be described as lihyaani, and so on.
And it was said that the pious scholar (rabbaani) is the one who teaches the people minor issues of knowledge before major issues, as if he is following the approach of the Lord, may He be glorified, in making things easy.
End quote.
Conclusion:
Education is not mere words that have no impact on people’s behaviour and attitude, and it is not mere theory separated from belief. Rather the aim of education is to help the student to develop a strong character, and to both acquire knowledge and develop patience, acquire understanding and develop wisdom, so that he acts upon what he learns and teaches others about it.
Hence Imam ash-Shawkaani said regarding the words “because of what you have taught of the Scripture [bima kuntum tu‘allimoona al-kitaab]” [Aal ‘Imraan 3:79]:
Those who read it as tu‘allimoona [so that the phrase means: because of what you have taught of the Scripture] must interpret the word rabbaani [translated above as pious scholar] as meaning one who has something in addition to knowledge and teaching; he should also be sincere or wise or patient.
Those who read it as ta‘lamoona [so that the phrase would mean: because of what you know of the Scripture] may interpret the word rabbaani as meaning a knowledgeable person who teaches the people. Thus the meaning is: be teachers, for you have knowledge, and because you have studied knowledge.
This verse offers the greatest motivation for the one who has knowledge to act upon his knowledge, and one of the best ways of implementing what one knows is to teach it and to be sincere to Allah, may He be glorified.”(Fat-h al-Qadeer  1/407)
Thus it becomes clear that the essence and foundation of proper education is to educate by example, not by mere empty words that are detached from one’s behaviour and deeds.
Hence al-Haafiz Ibn Rajab (may Allah have mercy on him) said in his interesting essay, Fadl ‘Ilm as-Salaf ‘ala ‘Ilm al-Khalaf (p. 5):
Many seekers of knowledge among the later generations got it wrong when they thought that one who speaks a great deal about issues of religion, and argues and debates, is more knowledgeable than one who is not like that. This is pure ignorance; look at the senior Sahaabah and the most knowledgeable among them, such as Abu Bakr, ‘Umar, ‘Ali, Mu‘aadh, Ibn Mas‘ood and Zayd ibn Thaabit, and how they were. They spoke less than Ibn ‘Abbaas, but they had more knowledge than he did.
Similarly, the Taabi‘een spoke more than the Sahaabah, but the Sahaabah had more knowledge than they did.
Similarly, the followers of the Taabi‘een spoke more than the Taabi‘een, but the Taabi‘een had more knowledge than they did.
Knowledge does not mean memorising a lot of religious texts or speaking a great deal in khutbahs and lessons; rather knowledge is a light that is instilled in the heart, by means of which a person may understand issues on the basis of truth and be able to distinguish between truth and falsehood, and he expresses that in concise words that serve the purpose. End quote.
This is the greatest calamity that has befallen Muslim households and educational institutions, namely their lack of righteous and pious teachers who could educate and guide them by example, not only by their words, and when teaching would be able to combine sound words and sound deeds, using a wise approach and proper understanding of the religion of Allah, may He be exalted, and what He wants from His slaves.
Ibn al-Jawzi (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
It should be understood that this education is like a seed and the educator is like the soil; if the soil is of poor quality, then the seed will be lost and wasted, but if the soil is good, the seed will grow and develop.”(Al-Adaab ash-Shar‘iyyah by Ibn Muflih 3/580).
Because of the above, some of the scholars and reformers were able to raise righteous children and teach them good morals and attitudes, and many fuqaha’ and educators were able to discipline their students. Here we may confirm that there is a limit to causes and measures that may be taken, and all matters are to be entrusted to the Lord of Lords, the Creator of people’s deeds, the One Who guides to the straight path. All that educators and parents can do is discipline their children and teach them morals and manners. As for making a person truly righteous and purifying his heart, no one can do that except Allah.
Hence it is said that all that parents can do is teach their children good manners; righteousness may be attained by the help of Allah.”(Al-Adaab ash-Shar‘iyyah by Ibn Muflih 3/552)
Finally:
The way to achieve this, realistically, may be summed up in a few brief points:
1. Daa‘iyahs and teachers should be made aware of what education means in a comprehensive sense.
2.Reformers who work with ordinary Muslims should be made aware of various approaches to education.
3.Reformers should cooperate with people of virtue and prominence in Muslim societies to establish educational institutions that focus on manners and behaviour, to work in conjunction with existing educational institutions, and to train some people to carry on the mission of educating people and teaching them proper manners, morals and behaviour.
And Allah knows best.

Praise be to Allah.Just as the parents have rights over their children, so too the children have rights over their parents.
Allah, may He be exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning):
“O you who have believed, protect yourselves and your families from a Fire whose fuel is people and stones, over which are [appointed] angels, harsh and severe; they do not disobey Allah in what He commands them but do what they are commanded”
[at-Tahreem 66:6].
And the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “Each of you is a shepherd and each of you is responsible for his flock. A man is the shepherd of his household and is responsible for his flock. A woman is the shepherd of her husband’s household and is responsible for her flock…” Narrated by al-Bukhaari (893) and Muslim (1829).
And the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “There is no person whom Allah puts in charge of others, and when he dies he is insincere to his subjects, but Allah will forbid Paradise to him.” Narrated by Muslim (142).
Therefore children have rights over their parents to which the parents must pay attention. These rights are many and include the following:
1. A man must choose a good wife for himself and a woman must choose a good husband for herself. A man should choose a woman who will be a good mother for his children in the future, and a woman should choose a man who will be a good father to her children.
2. Giving the child a good name, taking care of him, and fulfilling his basic needs of food, drink, clothing and accommodation, according to what one can afford, without falling short or being extravagant.
3. One of the most important rights that children have over their parents is that they should give them a good upbringing and take care of them, paying attention to their manners and behaviour, and their practice of their religion in a manner that is pleasing to Allah, and following up with them regarding worldly matters in such a way that will help them to live a dignified and righteous life.
Many parents fall short with regard to this duty that they owe to their children, then they suffer the consequences of their falling short, which is defiant disobedience from their children, and the children’s mistreatment of them.
Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
Whoever neglects to teach his child that which will benefit him, and leaves him without any guidance, has wronged him gravely. Most children’s deviance is because of their parents and the parents’ neglect and failure to teach them the obligatory religious duties and the sunnah of the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him), so they neglected them when they were small.…
How many are the parents who were the cause of their children’s misfortune and suffering in this world and the hereafter, because of their negligence and failure to discipline the child, and their encouraging and helping him to pursue his whims and desires. By doing that, they think that they are being kind to the child, at the time when they are disgracing him, and they think that they are showing mercy to him at the time when they are wronging him. Thus the child will be of no benefit to his parent, and the parent is the cause of the child’s misfortune and of his missing out on opportunities for success in this world and the hereafter…
If you think of the causes of children’s misguidance and corruption, you will see that it is mostly the fault of the parents.
End quote from Tuhfat al-Mawdood bi Ahkaam al-Mawlood (p. 229, 242).
It should be noted that if the father and mother fall short in raising their child, that does not mean that the child should fall short in his duties towards his parents and mistreat them; rather he has to treat them kindly and forgive any mistreatment on their part towards him. Allah, may He be exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning):
“and to parents, good treatment”
[al-Isra’ 17:23]
“But if they endeavor to make you associate with Me that of which you have no knowledge, do not obey them but accompany them in [this] world with appropriate kindness”
[Luqmaan 31:15].
For more information on the rights of children over their parents, please see question no. 20064.
And Allah knows best.

Praise be to Allah.
The ways in which you can give up watching movies: you can
achieve that by means of several things that were mentioned by the scholars
and educators, such as the following: 

1.Finding out about the shar‘i
ruling, which has been discussed previously in many answers.

2.Bearing in mind that Allah, may
He be exalted, is always watching and that He knows what is secret and is
even more hidden. One of the early generation was asked about what they did
that help them to lower their gaze and refrain from looking at haraam
things. He said: By knowing that Allah sees you more quickly than you see
what you are looking at.

3.Righteous friends who will
remind you if you forget and alert you if you are heedless. They are close
friends who love one another for the sake of Allah and you are brought
together in obedience to Allah, may He be exalted. Allah says
(interpretation of the meaning): “Friends on
that Day will be foes one to another, save those who kept their duty (to
Allah)” [al-Zukhruf 43:67]. That is the good companion whom the
Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) likened to the bearer of
musk. It was narrated that Abu Moosa al-Ash‘ari (may Allah be pleased with
him) said: The Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him)
said: “The likeness of a good companion and a bad companion is that of one
who carries musk and one who works the bellows. With the carrier of musk,
either he will give you some or you will buy some from him, or you will
notice a good smell from him; as for the one who works the bellows, either
he will burn your clothes or you will notice a bad smell from him.”

4.Keeping yourself busy with
things will benefit you in religious and worldly terms. You should have a
daily wird that you recite; memorize the Book of Allah; study some books by
the scholars or listen to them, and busy yourself with things that are
beneficial and serve the people and society.

5.Marriage, which is what the
Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) recommended to help lower
their gaze and guard chastity, as he said: “O young men, whoever among you
can afford it, let him get married, for it is more effective in lowering the
gaze and guarding one’s chastity. And whoever cannot afford it, let him
fast, for it will be a shield for him.”
Narrated by al-Bukhaari (4779) and Muslim (1400).

6.Always asking Allah to help
you, guide you and purify your hearing and sight. The best thing that a
person can do to rid himself of evil inclinations after taking the proper
measures is to turn to his Lord and ask Him to help him with that, to make
things easy for him and to purify his physical faculties.

We ask Allah to enable you to do that which He loves and that
pleases Him. 

And Allah knows best.

Praise be to Allah.It is good for the teacher to be kind and gentle towards young and old, but if the situation calls for discipline or a (light) smack that is not severe, that is permissible. It is the habit of the foolish to behave badly and not show any respect, so there is a need for strictness and strength that is more effective than kindness and gentleness. End quote. 
Shaykh ‘Abd al-Rahmaan ibn Jibreen (may Allaah preserve him) 
Fataawa ‘Ulama’ al-Balad al-Haraam, p. 399 
And Allaah knows best.

Praise be to Allah.This question was put to Shaykh Muhammad ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy
on him) and he said:
I think that this is a kind of spying
and it is not permissible for anyone to spy on anyone else, because we have no
right the judge anybody except by what is apparent. If we start spying on
people we will have a lot of headaches because of this spying and we will be
upset by what we hear and see.
Allaah says
(interpretation of the meaning) “And spy not” [al-Hujuraat
49:12]
after saying (interpretation of the meaning), “O you who believe! Avoid much
suspicion; indeed some suspicions are sins. And spy not” [al-Hujuraat 49:12].
But if the head of the household sees indications
of these evil telephone calls, then there is nothing wrong with setting up a
recording device without their knowledge, but he realizes that there is
something going on, he should not keep quiet and keep listening, rather he
should rebuke them straightaway, because if he communities to listen,because he may hear
something that will upset him even more. For example, if he comes across a bad
telephone conversation, he must rebuke the one who is doing it straight away,
and not delay it until the next day; he must put a stop to it from the
beginning.
But with regard to mere suspicion
based on waswaas (insinuating whispers of the Shaytaan), it is not permitted (for him to set up this
device), but if he knows that the matter is serious and that it is actually
happening, then it is OK to set up a recorder so as to find out what is going on.