Tag: Q n A

Praise be to Allah.Firstly: 
It is not
permissible for anyone to forbid that which Allaah has made permissible,
such as women (marriage), food or anything else, because Allaah, may He be
exalted, said:  
“O you
who believe! Make not unlawful the Tayyibaat (all that is good as regards
foods, things, deeds, beliefs, persons) which Allaah has made lawful to you,
and transgress not. Verily, Allaah does not like the transgressors”

[al-Maa’idah 5:87]
Some of the
Sahaabah wanted to be celibate and keep away from women, but the Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) forbade them to do that,
and Allaah revealed this verse. 
Ibn Jareer
narrated with his isnaad that Mujaahid (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:
Some men, including ‘Uthmaan ibn Maz’oon and ‘Abd-Allaah ibn ‘Amr (may
Allaah be pleased with them) wanted to be celibate, and to castrate
themselves, then this verse was revealed.  
Al-Bukhaari
(5074) and Muslim (1402) narrated that Sa’d ibn Abi Waqqaas (may Allaah be
pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of
Allaah be upon him) forbade ‘Uthmaan ibn Maz’oon to be celibate. If he had
given him permission, we would have gotten ourselves castrated.  
Remaining
celibate, getting castrated and regarding women as haraam are all haraam.
This is turning away from the Sunnah of the Prophet (peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him), who got married and encouraged others to
get married. 
Al-Bukhaari
(5063) and Muslim (1401) narrated that Anas ibn Maalik said: Three people
came to the houses of the wives of the Prophet (peace and blessings of
Allaah be upon him) asking about the worship of the Prophet (peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him). When they were told, it was as if they
regarded it as too little. They said: Who are we in comparison to the
Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)? Allaah has forgiven his
past and future sins. One of them said: As for me, I will pray all night
forever. Another said: I shall fast all my life and never break my fast.
Another said: I shall keep away from women and never get married. The
Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) came and
said: “Are you the ones who said such and such? By Allaah, I am the one who
fears Allaah the most among you and I am the most pious, but I fast and I
break my fast, I pray and I sleep, and I marry women. Whoever turns away
from my Sunnah is not of me.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari (5063) and Muslim
(1401).  
Thus is it
clear that no one has the right to forbid women (marriage) to himself. 
Thirdly: 
Whoever has
done that has to repent to Allaah, may He be exalted, and he has to offer
expiation for breaking an oath, because Allaah says (interpretation of the
meaning): 
“O
Prophet! Why do you forbid (for yourself) that which Allaah has allowed to
you, seeking to please your wives? And Allaah is Oft‑Forgiving, Most
Merciful.
2. Allaah
has already ordained for you (O men) the absolution from your oaths”
[al-Tahreem 66:1-2]
Allaah has
described the forbidding of something permissible as an oath. 
See:
al-Sharh al-Mumti’ (10/475). 
The
expiation for breaking an oath is to free a slave, or to feed ten poor
persons with the average kind of food that he gives his own family, or to
clothe them. Whoever cannot do that must fast for three days. 
This has
been explained in detail in the answer to question no.
45676. 
Fourthly:  
The ruling
on marriage varies from one person to another, according to financial and
physical ability and how much a person needs to get married. In some cases
it is obligatory and in others it is mustahabb or makrooh. See question no.
36486. 
And Allaah
knows best.

Praise be to Allah.Islam forbids a woman to get married without a wali (guardian), and it regards a marriage contract done without a wali as invalid. A kaafir cannot be the wali of a Muslim woman, so if none of her family are Muslims, then the leader or mufti of the Muslims, or the imam of the Islamic center, should stand in as her wali. 
Ibn Qudaamah said: A kaafir cannot be the wali of a Muslim woman under any circumstances, according to scholarly consensus. 
Al-Mughni, 7/356 
We have discussed all of the above, with evidence and the comments of the scholars, please see the answers to questions no. 7989 and 2127. 
So the marriage contract is not valid, and it must be annulled and you have to keep away from your husband. The husband has to repeat the marriage contact in the manner prescribed in sharee’ah, if he wants to be married to you. Try to get some good and righteous people to intervene and convince him to do that, and to correct his mistake, as this is in your interests and the interests of your child. If he does not respond, then our advice is to forget about him, because his words are not the words of a trustworthy man. His saying that he is “not ready for marriage” indicates that he only wanted to have intercourse with you, and he did not want to adhere to the commands and laws of Allaah, and the commands to be the protector and maintainer of his wife.  
See also the answer to question no. 13501 
It is not permissible for him to tell you to have an abortion, and it is not permissible for you to have an abortion if the foetus has reached the stage where the soul has been breathed into it. If you do that you will be killing a soul. 
See also questions no 12118 and 13319 and 4038. 
With regard to the child, it is valid to call him after his father and he is not regarded as an illegitimate child, rather the scholars regard him as the child of a marriage contract with some faults in it, and the child born of such a marriage is to be attributed to his father. See al-Mughni, 11/196 
Remember that Allaah has guaranteed provision for His slaves, and has promised that whoever fears Allaah, He will give him a way out. 
So fear Allaah, put your trust in Him and repent to him… Part of repenting means separating from this man, because the marriage contract is invalid, for there is no marriage without a wali, as the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said. And when you do that you will be doing it only because it is the command of Allaah.  
Know that whoever gives up something for the sake of Allaah, Allaah will compensate him or her with something better… May Allaah give you strength and make things easy for you. 
And Allaah knows best.

Praise be to Allah.Firstly: 
A person who is a carrier
of the virus or who has AIDS may get married to a woman who is healthy or
who also has the disease, if she accepts that after coming to know of his
condition and to what extent he is affected, and they may agree not to have
children, or not to have intercourse. The husband may be masturbated by his
wife, and there is no sin on him for that. 
But it is not permissible
for him to get married without informing the woman of his sickness, because
concealing it is deceit and is haraam. If he conceals it then the wife finds
out, she has the right to annul the marriage. 
Secondly: 
Masturbation is haraam, as
has been explained in question no.
329. 
But if the person who has
AIDS cannot get married, and he is afraid that he may fall into zina
(fornication), it is permissible for him to masturbate, so as to choose the
lesser of two evils. 
Shaykh al-Islam Ibn
Taymiyah (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: With regard to ejaculating by
choice, if he masturbates with his hand, this is haraam according to most of
the scholars, and it is one of the two reports narrated from Ahmad, in fact
it is the more correct of the two. According to another report it is
makrooh, but if he is compelled to do that, such as one who fears that he
may fall into zina if he does not masturbate, or he fears that he may become
ill, then in this case there are two well known scholarly views and in this
case a number of the earlier and later scholars granted a concession,
whereas others forbade it. And Allaah knows best. End quote from
al-Fataawa al-Kubra (1/302). 
It says in Sharh
al-Muntaha (3/366): Whoever masturbates with no need, man or woman, his
action is forbidden and he should be disciplined for that because it is a
sin. But if he does it for fear of committing zina or homosexuality, then
there is no punishment, and if he does it for fear of physical harm the same
applies, and more so. But it is not permissible for a man to masturbate with
his hand unless he is unable to get married, because if he is able to get
married there is no need for that. End quote.
And Allaah knows best.

Praise be to Allah.Shaykh Muhammad ibn Saalih al-‘Uthaymeen (may Allaah mercy on him) was asked a
similar question and said: 
The ruling on that is that it is contrary to the command of the Prophet (peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him). The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “If there comes to you one with whose
religious commitment and character you are pleased, then marry [your daughter or female relative under your care] to him.” Undoubtedly your
father’s preventing you from marrying one who is suitable is something that is haraam. Marriage is more important than study, and it does not mean
that you cannot study, because the two can be combined. What I advise my brothers who are the guardians of women to do, is to let them complete
their studies; a woman may stipulate as a condition of her marriage that she be able to continue studying until her studies are complete. 
Fataawa al-Mar’ah al-Muslimah, 2/704-705. 
Secondly: 
With regard to what you mention about the situation of the one who has proposed
marriage and that he is still a student, being a student is not regarded as an impediment to marriage if he can afford to get married and to spend
on his wife on a reasonable basis. 
But if his being a student means that he cannot afford to get married and spend on
his wife – apart from the unreasonable demands that some families make in the conditions that they stipulate – this is addressed by the words of
Allaah (interpretation of the meaning): 
“And let those who find not the financial means for marriage keep themselves
chaste, until Allaah enriches them of His Bounty”
[al-Noor 24:33]
Al-Qurtubi (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: In this verse, Allaah commands everyone who is
unable to get married and cannot find any means of doing so to keep himself chaste, because the most common obstacle to marriage is lack of money.
So Allaah promises independence of means by His bounty, so that He will provide what one needs to get married or to find a woman who will accept a
small mahr, or else remove from him the desire to marry.” Tafseer al-Qurtubi, 12/242 
It should be noted that the mahr and maintenance are the rights of the woman, not
of her guardians. She has the right to agree to a little and to marry one whom she knows is poor, but it has to be pointed out that many woman may
agree to marry a man even though he is poor when he proposes to her, then shortly after marriage the woman may start to complain, and that leads
to arguments and divorce. This should be taken into consideration. 
Thirdly: 
We advise families and guardians not to be an obstacle to keeping their daughters
and female relatives chaste because of the unreasonable conditions that they stipulate regarding spending on the basis that they want to be
reassured about their daughters’ future. This puts off the men who want to marry them, which leads to them being left on the shelf and the evils
that result from that, especially nowadays when fitnah (temptation) is so widespread. Thus they harm themselves and their daughters when their
intention is to do good. 
We ask Allaah to set the affairs of the Muslims straight. 
And Allaah knows best.

Praise be to Allah.Firstly: 
Playing soccer is permissible subject to certain conditions. 
1 – That it should not be for money, whether it is paid by the two teams, one of them or by a third party, because it is not permissible to give prizes except for competitions which help prepare one for jihad, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “There should be no (money) prizes for competitions except archery competitions and races with camels and horses.” Narrated by al-Tirmidhi (1700), al-Nasaa’i (3585), Abu Dawood (2575) and Ibn Maajah (2878); classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi Dawood. 
Some scholars added to these three anything that helps in jihad and propagating Islam, such as competitions in knowledge of Qur’aan, hadeeth and fiqh, in which is permissible to offer prizes. 
Therefore it is not permissible to give or take the prizes that are given to those who win soccer matches and tournaments between two or more teams, and they come under the heading of forbidden betting. 
2 – The game should not be accompanied by anything haraam, such as uncovering the ‘awrah. The man’s ‘awrah is the area from the navel to the knee, and it is well known that most of those who play this game uncover their thighs, but this is haraam and is not permitted. 
3 – The game should not lead to anything that is haraam, such as missing prayers, or missing Jumu’ah prayer or prayers in congregation. Unfortunately we say that many of those who play this game in clubs miss the prayers because of the matches. It is well known that delaying the prayer beyond its time with no excuse is a major sin, and it is narrated from a number of scholars that the one who does that deliberately is a kaafir, so we must be very careful. 
This has to do with the game itself. But if there are tournaments on which money is spent and people are distracted by them, and waste time because of them, and they provoke factionalism and both Muslims and kaafirs, righteous and evildoers are glorified to the extent that a player becomes a role model for one’s sons and daughters, then this definitely should not be allowed, because among the ummah there are enough calamities, ignorance and backwardness to distract them from games on which millions of the people’s wealth are spent. 
Shaykh Muhammad ibn Ibraaheem (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: The basic principle concerning such games and sports is that they are permissible if they serve an innocent purpose, as was referred to by Ibn al-Qayyim in his book al-Faroosiyyah and as was mentioned by Shaykh Taqiy al-Deen Ibn Taymiyah and others. If that is done as training for jihad and attack and retreat, or for physical fitness, or to ward off chronic diseases and strengthen the spirit, then it comes under the heading of permissible things, if the one who does it has a sound intention. In all cases it is essential that there be no harm caused to bodies or minds, and that it does not lead to the grudges and hatred that usually occur between players, and that it does not distract them from things that are more important, and that it does not prevent them from remembrance of Allaah (dhikr) or prayer. 
But whoever thinks about these sports as they are played nowadays will find that they are involve evil things which dictate that they should be disallowed, in addition to the fact that it is in the nature of the game to create factionalism and stir up resentment and hatred between the victors and the losers, this team and that team, as is quite apparent. They are also accompanied by physical danger for the players as the result of collisions and fisticuffs. Games hardly ever end without one of them breaking a bone or being injured or losing consciousness. This is why ambulances are always present. 
The games also continue during the times of prayer, which results in people not praying or offering the prayer late. 
The players also uncover their ‘awrah, which is forbidden. The man’s ‘awrah is the area from the navel to the knee. But you will find that their clothes end at mid-thigh, and some of them are shorter than that. It is well known that the thigh is part of the ‘awrah because of the hadeeth: “Cover your thigh for the thigh is part of the ‘awrah.” Narrated by al-Tirmidhi (2797) and classed as saheeh by al-Albaani. And the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said to ‘Ali: “Do not uncover your thigh and do not look at the thigh of anyone, living or dead.” Narrated by Abu Dawood (4015). And Allaah knows best. 
End quote from Fataawa al-Shaykh Muhammad ibn Ibraaheem, vol. 8, question no. 1948. 
And he (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: 
Playing football nowadays is accompanied by reprehensible things which mean that playing it should be disallowed. These things may be summed up as follows: 
1 – It is proven to us that play continues during the times of prayer, which results in the players and spectators missing prayers or prayers in congregation, or they delay performing prayers until the time for them is over. Undoubtedly any action that interferes with performance of prayers on time or leads to missing prayers in congregation with no valid shar’i excuse is haraam.  
2 – The nature of this game leads to factionalism, stirring up fitnah and hatred. These results are the opposite of what Islam promotes of tolerance, friendship and brotherhood, and cleaning hearts and souls of hatred, resentment and grudges.  
3 – The game involves physical danger for the players as a result of collisions and injuries. Usually the players do not end the game without some of them falling on the pitch unconscious or with broken arms or legs. Nothing is more indicative of that than the fact that there must always be an ambulance present throughout the game.  
4 – The purpose behind allowing sports is to make people become physically active and to train them for fighting and to ward off chronic disease. But playing football nowadays has no such aim. As well as the things mentioned above, it is now also taking people’s money for false purposes, let alone the danger of physical injury and the generation of hatred in the hearts of players and spectators, and the stirring up of fitnah. It has even gone so far that some spectators attack some players, which could go as far as murder, as happened in a match a few months ago. This alone is sufficient reason to disallow it. And Allaah is the source of strength. End quote.  
He also said: 
If it is done in an organized manner [as in the clubs] it seems that it should be banned altogether, because people becomes deeply involved in it and that prevents people from remembering Allaah, and it more akin to gambling. They call it “sport” but it is just a game, and matters of jihad are not like this, and even if the players have some agility and nimbleness, they are not able to strive hard in any other field. 
It also involves other things. Some of them offer prizes for it, and this is gambling. Islam does not allow prizes for anything except competitions which support the religion and strengthen one for that. If it strengthens Islam then it is permissible to engage in competitions. In the hadeeth it says: “There should be no (money) prizes for competitions except archery competitions and races with camels and horses.” And this applies by analogy with these three to anything that supports Islam. End quote. Question no. 1950. 
He also said: As for one or two people playing with a ball in an unorganized fashion, there is nothing wrong with that, because it does not involve anything haraam. And Allaah knows best. End quote. Question no. 1949. 
 Secondly: 
Having established this, we do not advise you to marry this soccer player unless he gives it up, whether he is playing for a local club or a foreign one, especially since that will result in your moving to live with him in a kaafir country where there is the risk of temptation for oneself or one’s children, and it is difficult for a person to maintain his religious commitment in the environment of that game and in a kaafir country. 
You may also refer to question no. 13363 for more information on living in the land of the mushrikeen. 
And Allaah knows best.

Praise be to Allah.There is nothing wrong with a woman letting a man know that in principle, however the woman should not propose herself, rather it is better if that is done via her wali (guardian) or someone else who can let the man know. This is indicated by the fact that ‘Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) offered his daughter Hafsah in marriage to Abu Bakr and ‘Uthmaan (may Allah be pleased with them).

Praise be to Allah.Firstly: 
Sufis are of
various kinds with various schools of thought, most of which follow
innovation and deviant ways of various kinds. Some of them exceed the proper
bounds to the extent of associating others with Allaah, may He be exalted,
such as praying to the dead, turning to them to relieve distress and ward
off calamity. Some of them follow a great deal of innovation in their deeds,
in dhikr and in worship. See question no.
4983 for more
information on some of the deviations of the Sufis, and question no.
34817 for
information on shirk and its types. 
It says in
Fataawa al-Lajnah al-Daa’imah: Most of those who are called Sufis
nowadays follow innovations of shirk, as well as other innovations, such as
what some of them say, “Madad ya sayyid (Help, O Master)”and their
calling upon the aqtaab (highest ranking awliya’ or “saints”), reciting
dhikr in unison and calling upon Allaah by names that He has not called
Himself, such as “Huwa Huwa (He, He)” and “Ah, ah (a
contraction of the name of Allaah)”. Anyone who reads their books will
notice a lot of their innovations of shirk as well as other evils. End
quote. 
Secondly: 
Marriage to
a Sufi woman is subject to further discussion. 
1 – If she
is one of those who commits shirk in belief or in deeds, such as one who
believes that the awliya’ (“saints”) have knowledge of the unseen and have
control over the universe, or she believes in incarnation of the divine or
the unity of all things, or she devotes worship to something other than
Allaah, such as du’aa’, seeking help, sacrifices or vows, then it is not
permissible to marry such a woman, because she has committed major shirk –
Allaah forbid.
2 – If she
has not fallen into shirk, but she does some acts of innovation such as
celebrating the Mawlid (Prophet’s birthday) or invented forms of dhikr, or
reciting a certain number of dhikrs for which there is no basis, or a
certain manner of dhikr that is not proven in sharee’ah, then it is better
not to marry such a woman, because the danger of innovation is great, and
the harm caused by it is severe. It is dearer to Iblees than sin, because
one may repent from sin, unlike innovation, for the one who does it regards
it as part of religion by means of which he may draw closer to Allaah, so
how can he give it up? Moreover, marriage to a woman who follows bid’ah
presents a danger to the children and to the whole family, especially if the
woman speaks well or is of a good attitude, so that others may be deceived
by her. Imam Maalik (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: Do not marry the
people of innovation, or give your womenfolk to them in marriage, or greet
them with salaam… al-Mudawwanah (1/84). 
Thirdly: 
If he did
not know that the woman was a follower of Sufism until he married her, then
if she is of the first type that commits shirk in word and deed and belief,
he should call her (to the proper way) and advise her and explain to her. If
she responds, then praise be to Allaah, otherwise it is obligatory to
separate from her, because it is not permissible to marry a mushrik woman or
to remain in such a marriage, because Allaah says (interpretation of the
meaning): 
“And do
not marry Al-Mushrikaat (idolatresses) till they believe (worship Allaah
Alone)”

[al-Baqarah 2:221]
But if she
is of the second type, which does some innovated actions that do not reach
the extent of kufr, then each case should be examined separately – to what
extent does the woman adhere or not to the innovation that she believes in,
and what effect will that have on the household and the children? 
He should
also look at the consequences of divorcing her, and he should do that which
is in the best interests of Islam in each case, and which will ward off harm
or reduce it as much as possible. 
May Allaah
help us all to do that which He loves and which pleases Him. 
And Allaah
knows best.

Praise be to Allah.Firstly: 
If the woman
says that she was married then she got divorced and her ‘iddah ended, should
her word be accepted or is it essential to have proof to confirm that she is
divorced? There is a difference of opinion among the scholars concerning
that. 
Some of them
say that her word should be accepted and she should be believed, because she
is responsible for herself.  
Others say
that if it is thought most likely that she is telling the truth, it is
permissible to believe her. 
Others make
a distinction between one who is a stranger and one who is living in her own
city. The word of the former should be accepted ,whereas the one who is in
her own city should not get married until proof of her divorce is brought. 
Some of them
make a distinction between her telling of her divorce from a specific
husband, such as saying, “So and so married me then he divorced me” and her
speaking of marriage to an unspecified person. In the former case it is
essential to bring proof that she has been divorced by him. 
There
follows a brief look at the comments of the fuqaha’: 
It says in
al-Mabsoot (5/151): If she says: My husband divorced me or died, and
my ‘iddah has ended, it is permissible for her fiancé to marry her and
believe her, because the issue of halaal and haraam is something that is
determined by sharee’ah and every Muslim is responsible for himself and his
words may be accepted with regard to issues that are decided by sharee’ah,
but his word is not to be accepted with regard to someone else if the other
person says that he is lying. Hence it is permissible to accept her word
concerning that. And Allaah knows best what is correct. End quote. 
It says in
al-Habr al-Raa’iq (4/64): He indicated that the word of a divorced
woman may be accepted when he said: If a (previously) married woman said to
another man: My husband divorced me and my ‘iddah has ended, then it is
permissible for him to believe her if he thinks it most likely that she is
telling the truth. End quote. 
‘Aleesh
al-Maaliki (may Allaah have mercy on him) was asked, as it says in Fath
al-‘Aliy al-Maalik fi’l-Fatwa ‘ala Madhhab al-Imam Maalik (2/78): What
is your opinion about a woman who came from Fayyoom to al-Qalyoobiyyah and
says: I was married in al-Fayoom, and my husband divorced me two months ago,
and she has a document confirming a divorce, dated and sealed with the seal
of the qaadi in the city where she used to be, and she wants to get married
after her ‘iddah ends based on the date of the document. May she be allowed
to do that? Please answer.  
The answer
was: Praise be to Allaah and peace and blessings be upon our Master
Muhammad, the Messenger of Allaah. Yes, she may be allowed to do that
because she is to be believed in her claim to be divorced and her claim that
the ‘iddah has ended in the manner described, especially since her claim is
supported by the document from the qaadi. This is what is indicated by the
texts. But further proof should be established because of what we see
nowadays of many women cheating and having several husbands at once. We ask
Allaah to keep us safe and sound. End quote. 
Al-Zarkashi
said in al-Manthoor fi’l-Qawaa’id (1/171): If she says: My husband So
and so divorced me and my ‘iddah is over, and she asks the judge to conduct
a marriage for her, in Adab al-Qadaa’ by al-Dubayli it says: If she
is a stranger and her (former) husband is absent, then her word should be
accepted with no proof or oath. If the husband is in the same city and she
is not a stranger, then the judge should not conduct a new marriage until
her claim has been proven. 
In Fasl
al-Tahleel, al-Raafa’i said that her word should be accepted if it is
plausible, and he quoted from Fataawa al-Baghawi: If a man and a woman
appear before the qaadi, and she asks him to marry her to this man, and says
that she was the wife of So and so but he divorced her or died, the qaadi
should not proceed with the marriage until proof of the divorce or death has
been established, because she has admitted to being married to So and so.
End quote. 
Al-Ramli
al-Shaafa’i was asked about a woman who said that her husband So and so
divorced her or died, and her ‘iddah has ended; can the judge conduct her
marriage without any proof? He replied that the judge cannot conduct her
marriage until proof of what she says has been established, because she
admitted to being married and marriage in principle is still valid (unless
there is evidence to the contrary). This is unlike the case if she admits
having been married without specifying a person.  This is what is indicated
by what al-Dubayli said in Adab al-Qadaa’, [and he quoted the words of
al-Zarkashi mentioned above], and what al-Qaadi mentioned in his fatwa that
if the woman claims that her husband has died or has divorced her in front
of her wali, and the wali denies it, she may swear an oath and the judge may
tell him to arrange her marriage, or the judge may arrange her marriage.
(3/161). 
He also said
(3/153): To conclude: if a woman claims that she is divorced from a specific
marriage, the judge should not let her remarry until it has been proven. If
the marriage is not specified then he may accept her word, and there are
other views on this issue. End quote. 
It seems
that caution is required in this matter, especially at times of corruption
and when there have been many incidents in which marriage contracts have
turned out to have been done for women who are already married and are
lying. But the judge still has the right to make the decision in such cases.
If he thinks that her word is acceptable, he may arrange her marriage, and
if he thinks otherwise he should ask her for proof, or he does not think
that she is telling the truth, he should not conduct her marriage until the
divorce has been proven. 
What is done
now is that the qaadi or registrar does not conduct the marriage of a woman
who is proven to have been married before and claims that she is divorced,
until she brings proof of the divorce. We do not know how the marriage
contract with the man mentioned was done. 
Secondly: 
If there is
some doubt as to whether the woman is divorced or if she is still married to
her first husband, then the sons of the person in question should strive to
ask about her and her first husband. If it is proven that she was not
divorced from her first husband, then their father must be told about that
and the couple must be separated until her ‘iddah from both is over. The
matter should be referred to the qaadi to decide on the matter, and it is
not permissible for them to be quiet if they know about that, because
marriage to a woman who is already married to someone else before she gets
divorced and completes her ‘iddah is an invalid marriage, and the one who
does that is committing zina if he knew the real situation. 
But here we
should point out two things: 
1 – The
children should respect their father and recognize his status and not offend
him by speaking of this matter. If we assume that they found out something
reprehensible, they should look for a suitable means of advising their
father, and if they ask someone else to intervene that is better, so to
avoid offending him and to preserve the love that exists between them. 
2 – The
motive for this doubt and accusing should not be hatred of their father’s
wife because she is a foreigner or because their father married her when he
was old, or for some other reason that is not hidden from the Knower of the
unseen, may He be glorified. Let them speak good words and beware of
accusing one who is innocent; they should try to think in positive terms and
refrain from saying anything that may hurt them or their father, so long as
there is nothing that they cannot keep silent about. 
The Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Whoever intercedes
to prevent one of the hadd punishments of Allaah has opposed Allaah in His
command; and whoever dies owing a debt, it is not (going to be settled by)
dinars and dirhams, but rather by good and bad deeds; and whoever argues
about falsehood knowingly will remain subject to the wrath of Allaah until
he gives it up; and whoever says something about a believer that is not
true, Allaah will cause him to dwell in the mud of the juice of the people
of Hell  until he recants what he said.” Narrated by Abu Dawood (5129) from
the hadeeth of Ibn ‘Umar (may Allaah be pleased with him).  Classed as
saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi Dawood. 
May Allaah
help us and you to do that which He loves and which pleases Him. 
And Allaah
knows best.

Praise be to Allah.Firstly: 
If a man is
able to provide the mahr (dowry) and can afford the expenses of marriage and
the maintenance of his wife and household, then he is compatible with her,
according to the majority of scholars, both those who regard wealth as a
condition of compatibility, such as the Hanafis and Hanbalis, and those who
do not, such as the Maalikis and the Shaafa’is according to the more correct
view among them. 
As for the
view that the husband must be rich on the same level as the wife, this is a
less correct view that was held by some of the fuqaha’. 
But the
correct view, based on the evidence, is that compatibility does not matter
except with regard to religious commitment, as is the view of Maalik (may
Allaah have mercy on him). Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allaah have mercy on him)
said: Chapter on the ruling of the Prophet (peace and blessings of
Allaah be upon him) on compatibility in marriage. Allaah, may He be exalted,
says (interpretation of the meaning): 
“O
mankind! We have created you from a male and a female, and made you into
nations and tribes, that you may know one another. Verily, the most
honourable of you with Allaah is that (believer) who has At‑Taqwa [i.e. he
is one of the Muttaqoon (the pious)]”

[al-Hujuraat 49:13]
“The
believers are nothing else than brothers (in Islamic religion)”

[al-Hujuraat 49:10]
“The
believers, men and women, are Awliyaa’ (helpers, supporters, friends,
protectors) of one another”

[al-Tawbah 9:71]
The Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “There is no
superiority of an Arab over a non-Arab, or of a non-Arab over an Arab, or of
a white man over a black man, or of a black man over a white man, except in
terms of taqwa. The people are from Adam, and Adam is from dust.” Narrated
by al-Tirmidhi (3270); classed as hasan by al-Albaani. 
In
al-Tirmidhi (1085) it is narrated that the Prophet (peace and blessings
of Allaah be upon him) said: “If there comes to you one with whose religious
commitment and character you are pleased, then marry (your female relative
under your care) to him, for if you do not do that there will be tribulation
in the land and great mischief.” They said: O Messenger of Allaah, even if
he is such and such? He said: “If there comes to you one with whose
religious commitment and character you are pleased, then marry (your female
relative under your care) to him,” three times. Classed as hasan by
al-Albaani. 
The Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said to Banu Bayaadah:
“Give (your female relative) to Abu Hind in marriage and ask for his
daughters in marriage” and he was a cupper. 
The Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) married Zaynab bint Jahsh
al-Qurashiyyah to his freed slave Zayd ibn Haarithah, and he married
Faatimah bint Qays al-Fahriyyah al-Qurashiyyah to Usaamah, the son of Zayd,
and he married Bilaal ibn Rabaah to the sister of ‘Abd al-Rahmaan ibn ‘Awf. 
Allaah says
(interpretation of the meaning): 
“Good
statements are for good people (or good women for good men) and good people
for good statements (or good men for good women)”
[al-Noor
24:26] 
“then
marry (other) women of your choice”
[al-Nisa’
4:3]
What is
implied by the ruling of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be
upon him) is that attention should be paid to compatibility in religious
commitment first and foremost. So a Muslim woman should not be given in
marriage to a kaafir, or a chaste woman to an immoral man. The Qur’aan and
Sunnah do not pay attention to any compatibility beyond that. It is haraam
for a Muslim woman to marry an evil adulterer. No attention is paid to
lineage, profession, wealth, or whether the man is free or a slave. It is
permissible for a lowly slave to marry a free woman of noble birth, if he is
chaste and Muslim. And it is permissible for a non-Qurashi to marry a
Qurashi woman, and for a non-Haashimi to marry a Haashimi woman, and for
poor men to marry rich women. 
And he said:
The fuqaha’ differed as to the definition of compatibility. Maalik said,
according to the apparent view of his madhhab, that it refers to religious
commitment. According to a report narrated from him: It means three things:
Being similar in terms of religious commitment; both being slaves or both
being free; and compatibility with regard to physical soundness. End quote
from Zaad al-Ma’aad (5/144). See also al-Mughni (7/27) and
al-Mawsoo’ah al-Fiqhiyyah (34/271). 
Secondly: 
Social level
may refer to lineage, wealth, education, profession or job, or it may mean
all of them. 
If a man’s
religious commitment and character are pleasing, then he is compatible with
the woman, no matter what her social level, according to the more correct
view, as noted above. This is the basic principle and the ruling of
sharee’ah. But it remains to examine the situation of each suitor and
whether he is suitable to marry one whose social level is above him, or
not. 
It seems –
and Allaah knows best – that if the difference is great in terms of lineage,
wealth, education and profession, that it is not advisable to go ahead with
this marriage, because there are usually problems from the woman or her
family. There may be differences in lifestyle and the ways in which they do
things, which may put the spouses off one another. 
But if the
difference is small, or it has to do with one area but can be made up for in
another area, then there is nothing wrong with it in that case, such as if
the husband is poor but he is highly qualified, or he is qualified for a
decent job, or some of his family are of high standing and so on. 
Then there
are cases in which the woman and her family are so righteous that they are
above looking at material concerns and measuring people thereby, and they
may want to choose a husband who is poor because of his righteousness and so
on. But it is better if the husband is the one who is of a higher status.   
Whatever the
case, the precise advice in each case depends on complete knowledge of both
parties and their families. Perhaps you can seek advice from someone whom
you trust in your community. 
We ask
Allaah to help you and guide you. 
And Allaah
knows best.

Praise be to Allah.Firstly: 
If the
waleemah is for a wedding, then it is obligatory to attend it, for the one
who is invited personally, according to the majority of fuqaha’. 
But if the
invitation is general, and he is not invited by name, then he does not have
to attend. 
Ibn Qudaamah
(may Allaah have mercy on him) said: Ibn ‘Abd al-Barr said: There is no
difference of opinion among the scholars concerning the fact that it is
obligatory to attend a waleemah for the one who is invited to it, so long as
there is no idle entertainment in it. This is the view of Maalik,
al-Shaafa’i and Abu Haneefah. 
It was
narrated from Ibn ‘Umar (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Messenger
of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “If one of
you is invited to a waleemah, let him attend.” According to another version:
The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)
said: “Accept this invitation when you are invited.” Abu Hurayrah said: “The
worst of food is the food of a waleemah to which the rich are invited and
the poor are ignored. Whoever does not attend has disobeyed Allaah and His
Messenger.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari. 
What is
meant – and Allaah knows best – by the words “the worst of food is the food
of a waleemah” is the food of a feast to which the rich are invited and the
poor are ignored. It dos not mean that the food of any waleemah is the worst
of food. 
But it is
only obligatory to attend for one who is invited specifically, when a man or
a group is invited by name. But if someone issues an invitation and says, “O
people, come to the waleemah,” it is not obligatory to respond, and it is
not mustahabb to do so. Rather it is permissible to accept because one is
included in the general invitation. End quote from al-Mughni
(7/213). 
Secondly: 
If there are
people at the waleemah who will cause offence, it is not obligatory to
attend. This is an excuse not to attend. 
This was
stated by some of the fuqaha’. In that case he has to apologize to the one
who gave the invitation, or attend for a short while and leave quickly. 
It says in
Tuhfat al-Muhtaaj (7/430), where the conditions of it being
obligatory to accept an invitation are mentioned: There should not be in the
place where he is to attend anyone who will offend the invited one by means
of outward hostility or destructive envy (hasad), or anyone with whom it is
not appropriate to sit, such as vile and despicable people. End quote. 
Thirdly: 
If the
waleemah is not for a wedding, it is not obligatory to attend, even if one
is especially invited to it. 
Ibn Qudaamah
(may Allaah have mercy on him) said in al-Mughni (7/218): The ruling
on accepting invitations to circumcision waleemahs and all other invitations
except to weddings, is that it is mustahabb, because it involves offering
food to people. But accepting the invitation is mustahabb, not waajib
(obligatory). This is the view of Maalik, al-Shaafa’i, and Abu Haneefah and
his companions. End quote. 
Based on
this, there is no sin on you if you do not attend these waleemahs, if they
are not for weddings. 
Fourthly: 
For a woman
to uphold ties of kinship with her brothers and sisters is something that is
confirmed in sharee’ah, because of the commands to uphold the ties of
kinship that are mentioned in the Qur’aan and Sunnah, and the prohibition on
severing those ties. This upholding of family ties may be achieved through
visits, phone calls and asking after family members, depending on what one
is able to do. 
You should
not fall short in this great act of worship, and not let your brothers’
coldness and lack of kindness push you to do that. You will be rewarded for
upholding ties with them, even if they fall short towards you, because the
Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The one who
upholds the ties of kinship is not the one who reciprocates, rather the one
who upholds the ties of kinship is the one who upholds those ties even if
his relatives cut him off.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari (5645). 
The one who
reciprocates his relatives, and returns favours and treats them well if they
treat him well, is not the one who is upholding ties of kinship as required
by sharee’ah. Rather the upholding of kinship ties that is required in
sharee’ah is that which involves treating relatives well even when they
treat you badly.  
But if
meeting often will cause annoyance, there is no sin in reducing the
frequency, whilst remaining in touch at infrequent intervals or by phone,
etc. 
But it is
better to hasten to remove the misunderstanding between you and your
brothers, and try hard to improve your relationship with them. That is
better for all of you in this world and in the Hereafter. 
And Allaah
knows best.