Tag: Q n A

  • Q n A : Is marriage one of the actions of this world or of the Hereafter?


    Q
    Is marriage one of the actions of this world or of the Hereafter?


    A

    Praise be to Allah.If the aim is to obey Allah, to follow the example of the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him), to have a righteous child, to keep oneself chaste and to protect one’s private parts, eyes and heart, etc., then it is one of the actions of the Hereafter and a person will be rewarded for it. If there is no such intention, then it is permissible and is one of the actions of this world which is solely for enjoyment. It will not be rewarded, but there is no sin involved.
    And Allah knows best.

  • Q n A : validity of a marriage


    Q
    validity of a marriage


    A

    Praise be to Allah.Your wife’s brother can assume
    the (wali) position. If there is not a brother then an uncle would do. He
    second eldest son would also do, if he is an adult. In the absence of all
    of these, an Islamic judge or the head of the Islamic center can renew the
    contract. You don’t have to tell anyone about the reason. You can say
    that you just want to renew it because you don’t feel good about the
    first one. Publicity is not needed at all. There was an addition to my
    answer to you, but apparently it was lost for one reason or another. Here
    is the full answer once again:
    The marriage
    contract is void because it was made without fulfilling its necessary
    conditions. One of these conditions is the readiness of the womb. This
    means that the woman whom is to get married must have her womb unoccupied.
    For example, a man may not marry a woman who is pregnant. He may not marry
    a woman who was divorced until she is out of her idd’ah (a period where
    a widow or a divorced woman may not marry). Also a man may not marry a
    woman he has been having intercourse with until they both repent and she
    gets her monthly period. This is a sign that her womb is clean. The
    Prophet forbade Muslims to have intercourse with female slaves they bought
    recently until they are certain that their wombs are clear from any
    pregnancy. Waiting for the monthly period does this. In your case, the
    marriage contract must be renewed. This is not a difficult thing to do.
    The first boy is not Islamicly your son, as he was not created in his
    mother’s womb through a valid marriage contract. Some scholars say he is
    not to be called after you as he is born out of adultery. He is to be
    called after his mother’s family. He is not to inherit you and you are
    not to inherit him. As for the remaining children, they are yours and they
    carry your name. Other scholars, such as Ibn Taymiyah and Ibn AlQayyim say
    that if the woman is not married at the time of committing adultery, then
    the adulteress father may give his name to this boy and that he may be
    treated as his son. In your case, this last opinion may be the most
    suitable for you and your family. Yet you must renew your marriage
    contract at any Islamic center, and Allah knows best.

  • Q n A : Can a woman look for her life partner herself?


    Q
    Can a woman look for her life partner herself?


    A

    Praise be to Allah.Firstly: 
    The Muslim woman must know that she is obliged to wear hijaab and observe proper Islamic hijaab at all times. It is not permissible for a woman to make a wanton display of herself (tabarruj). Tabarruj is a major sin for which the one who does it deserves the wrath and punishment of Allah.  A woman, as the saying goes, is a jewel, and when she is shown to people and makes a wanton display of herself she loses her value. 
    So I advise the questioner and every Muslim woman to adhere to proper Islamic hijaab, which is pleasing to Allah and is an act of obedience to Him, and is a means of Allah guiding His slave and making things easier for him. 
    Secondly: 
    With regard to marriage, it may be obligatory if a man or woman longs for marriage and fears falling into immoral ways. It is also the Sunnah of the Prophets (peace be upon them). 
    Allah says (interpretation of the meaning): 
    “And indeed We sent Messengers before you (O Muhammad), and made for them wives and offspring” [al-Ra’d 13:38]
    Thirdly: 
    There is a difference between a Muslim woman looking for a husband and her mixing with and talking to men for that purpose, and meeting by accident a man who she thinks is a potential husband. The former is contrary to modesty, for a woman is required to be of modest character and shy, which is an adornment and beauty for women; the virgin is the epitome of modesty as it says in the hadeeth of Abu Sa’eed al-Khudri (may Allah be pleased with him): “The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) used to be more shy than the virgin in her seclusion, and if he disliked something it would be known from his face.” 
    Narrated by al-Bukhari, 5751; Muslim, 2320 
    A woman can do something better than that, which is to make du’aa’ asking Allah to give her a good and righteous husband. Du’aa’ is one of the best things with which a Muslim may equip himself and the best way in which a Muslim may seek to meet his needs. She can also speak to some of her Muslim sisters whose religious commitment and honesty she trusts to tell her of someone who can tell a young Muslim man who wants to get married about a Muslim girl. This is better than her doing something that is contrary to modesty. 
    Fourthly: 
    Undoubtedly the one who told you to take off the hijab and that that is better than wearing it is wrong. How can a woman give up her religious commitment and hijab and ignore something that Allah has enjoined upon her and said that if she forsakes it then she will deserve the wrath and punishment of Allah and will not be granted His support? 
    The Muslim woman must adhere to this virtue which many Muslim women have forsaken, for it is the symbol of the Muslim woman, a sign of her commitment, sincere faith and piety.   
    I advise the sister to fear Allah and to adhere to hijab, and Allah will help her and make her life easier for her. And Allah is the One Whose help we seek. 
    And Allah knows best.

  • Q n A : The wife’s family want to do forbidden things during the wedding party


    Q
    The wife’s family want to do forbidden things during the wedding party


    A

    Praise be to Allah.What the girls family wants to do is undoubtedly haraam and is unacceptable. It is not permissible to please people by doing something that angers Allaah. We do not advise you at all to start your married life with haraam actions. The Muslim should disassociate himself and his family from the idea that his wife is a cheap product to be looked at by all and sundry when she is wearing all her make-up and jewellery etc.
    We advise you to deal with the situation by doing the following:

    You should advise them, politely, and explain to them the Islamic ruling concerning what they are planning to do. Warn them of the wrath of Allaah, and explain to them that music and mixing are haraam. Tell them that they could still have a successful wedding without these haraam things, and it is not in their interests at all in this world or in the Hereafter to respond to the blessing of Allaah, i.e., their daughters marriage, by disobeying Him and going against His commands and doing things that anger Him.

    If that does not work, look for some wise people among their family and relatives, and from your own family too, who they think highly of and who you hope can help. Perhaps Allaah will decree that you will find a way out through them, and they will give up these evil things even if it is through pressure and embarrassment.

    If that does not work, look for intervention on the part of someone who is knowledgeable and wise, whom they respect and look up to. Perhaps he will make them feel ashamed, or will be able to convince them that what they want to do is wrong, so they will give it up.

    If none of this works, perhaps you can threaten them with divorce or separation. They might pay attention to that, because it would make them look bad in front of other people, so they will give up that which has been forbidden by Allaah. Perhaps leaving a long time between the nikaah (marriage contract) and the wedding party will have the result of convincing these people.
    If they do not respond at all, then we would seriously warn you against getting involved with these people. But if the girl is religious and good-mannered, and she does not agree with what her family are doing, and you and she are able not to be present when the haraam things are happening, and you can leave the party when they start doing things that anger Allaah, and also announce your objections and state that you are disassociating yourselves from what is going to happen, (this is fine). Remember the words of Allaah (interpretation of the meaning): then sit not with them (but if you stayed with them) certainly in that case you would be like them [al-Nisaa 4:140]. And the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: Whoever among you sees an evil action, let him change it
    And Allaah is the source of help; to Him we complain and in Him we put our trust.
    And Allaah knows best.

  • Q n A : ‘Azl (coitus interruptus) and using birth control pills


    Q
    ‘Azl (coitus interruptus) and using birth control pills


    A

    Praise be to Allah.
    Firstly, what the Muslims should do is to try to have as many
    children as they can, because this is the command of the Prophet (peace
    and blessings of Allaah be upon him), who said: “Marry the one who is loving
    and fertile, for I will be proud of your great numbers before the nations.”
    (Narrated by Abu Dawood, 2050; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh
    Abi Dawood, 1805). 

    Having more children increases the numbers of the ummah, and
    increasing the numbers of the ummah is a source of its glory, as Allaah
    says, reminding the Children of Israel of His blessings: 

    “and made you more numerous in man-power”

    [al-Isra’ 15:6 – interpretation of the meaning]

    And Shu’ayb said to his people: 

    “And remember when you were but few, and He multiplied
    you”

    [al-A’raaf 7:86 – interpretation of the meaning]

    No one can deny that having a large number is a source of
    pride and strength for the ummah, contrary to what those pessimists think
    who say that large numbers causes poverty and starvation in a nation. 

    If the ummah increases in number, puts its trust in Allaah
    and believes His promises as mentioned in the aayah,  

    “And no moving (living) creature is there on earth but its
    provision is due from Allaah”

    [Hood 11:6 – interpretation of the meaning],
    then Allaah will make things easy for them and will grant them independence
    of means from His bounty. Based on that, the answer to your question is as
    follows: 

    Birth control pills: 

    A woman should not use birth control pills, unless the
    following conditions are met: 

    1-She should need to use them,
    for example if she is ill and cannot cope with a pregnancy every year, or
    she is physically unfit, or there is some other reason that getting pregnant
    every year may harm her.

    2-Her husband should give his
    permission, because the husband has the right to have children. There must
    also be consultation with the doctor, to find out whether these pills are
    harmful or not.

    If these two conditions are met, there is nothing wrong with
    taking these pills, but that should not be on a permanent basis, because
    that means preventing having children.

     With regard to ‘azl (coitus interruptus), or withdrawing
    during intercourse, the correct scholarly view is that there is nothing
    wrong with it, because of the hadeeth of Jaabir (may Allaah be pleased with
    him): “We used to practise ‘azl at the time when the Qur’aan was being
    revealed” – i.e., at the time of the Prophet (peace and blessings of
    Allaah be upon him). If that action had been haraam, the Prophet (peace
    and blessings of Allaah be upon him) would have forbidden it. But the
    scholars say that one should not engage in ‘azl with a free woman except
    with her permission, because she has the right to have children. Moreover,
    withdrawing without her permission diminishes her pleasure, because the
    woman’s pleasure can only be completed after ejaculation. So not asking her
    permission causes her to lose out on pleasure and on the possibility of
    having children. Hence we state the condition that this may only be done
    with her permission.

     From Fataawa al-Shaykh Muhammad ibn ‘Uthaymeen.

     From Fataawa Islamiyyah, vol. 3, p. 190.

     Thirdly: the reason why the Sahaabah engaged in ‘azl was
    because they did not want the woman – especially a slave woman – to get
    pregnant, so that they could continue to enjoy a physical relationship with
    them and the woman would still be able to do their work. Abu Dawood narrated
    that a man said, “O Messenger of Allaah, I have a slave woman and I engage
    in ‘azl with her, because I do not want her to get pregnant, but I want what
    men want. But the Jews say that ‘azl is a lesser form of infanticide.” He
    said, “The Jews are lying. If Allaah wants to create (a child) you cannot
    prevent that.” (Narrated by Abu Dawood, Kitaab al-Nikaah, 1856;
    classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi Dawood, 1903).

  • Q n A : He loves his cousin and wants to marry her


    Q
    He loves his cousin and wants to marry her


    A

    Praise be to Allah.Your maternal uncles daughter is not counted as one of your mahrams, so the same rulings apply to her as to other women who are strangers to you (i.e., non-mahrams). One of these rulings is that it is permissible for you to marry her. But we should note an important point, which is that even though love is something nice, and it is mustahabb for a man to marry a woman whom he loves, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: there is nothing better for two who love one another than marriage
    (Saheeh al-Jaami, no 5200), nevertheless, this love should not be overwhelming and cause a person to forget other characteristics which he should look for in the person he wants to marry. The most important characteristic is religious commitment. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: A woman may be married for four things her wealth, her lineage, her beauty and her commitment to religion. Choose the one who is religious, may your hands be rubbed with dust [i.e., may you prosper]! (Agreed upon). If your cousin is religious and has a good attitude, then you have chosen well and we ask Allaah to fulfil your hopes and bring you together in a good way. If she is not, then think again about your choice. May Allaah help you to do that which He loves and which pleases Him.

  • Q n A : His family want him to marry a girl who is not religious and they say that she will change in time


    Q
    His family want him to marry a girl who is not religious and they say that she will change in time


    A

    Praise be to Allah.
    The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)
    commanded the one who wants to get married to look for a religious woman. He
    (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:  “A woman may be
    married for four things: her wealth, her lineage, her beauty or her
    religious commitment. Look for the one who is religious, may your hands be
    rubbed with dust (i.e., may you prosper).” 

    A wife is a life-long companion, and she will take care of
    his household and all his affairs. She will be the one to bring up and teach
    his children. Religious commitment is the thing that makes a woman chaste
    and keeps her away from bad things. So you must choose a wife from among
    those women who are religiously-committed and fear Allaah. 

    What I think you should do is to strive to influence her and
    make da’wah to her through your family or some of your mahrams so that she
    will improve and adhere to the straight path. If she adheres to the straight
    path and improves, then marry her. 

    Otherwise, I think that you should look for someone else, for
    you have no guarantee that you will be able to influence her; she may not
    respond, or you may be influenced by her, for no matter how much faith and
    taqwa (piety) a person may have, he is still human and is still subject to
    change or influence.

  • Q n A : Attributes of the ideal Muslim husband


    Q
    Attributes of the ideal Muslim husband


    A

    Praise be to Allah.We appreciate your eagerness to find out the attributes which will help you to choose a righteous husband, in shaa Allah. There follows a description of the most important qualities which should be present in the man whom you choose or accept to be your husband and the father of your children, if Allah decrees that you will have children.
    Religious commitment. This is the most important thing to look for in the man you want to marry. The husband should be a Muslim who adheres to all the laws and teachings of Islam in his daily life. The woman’s guardian (wali) should strive to check out this matter and not rely only on outward appearances. One of the most important things to ask about is the man’s prayer (salaah); the one who neglects the rights of Allah is more likely to neglect the rights of others. The true believer does not oppress or mistreat his wife; if he loves her, he honours her, and if he does not love her, he does not mistreat or humiliate her. It is very rare to find this attitude among those who are not sincere Muslims. Allah says (interpretation of the meanings):
    “and verily, a believing slave is better than a (free) Mushrik (idolater), even though he pleases you” [al-Baqarah 2:221]
    “Verily, the most honourable of you with Allah is that (believer) who has At-Taqwaa [i.e. he is one of the Muttaqoon (the pious)]” [al-Hujuraat 49:13]
    “Good statements are for good people (or good women for good men) and good people for good statements (or good men for good women)” [al-Noor 24:26]
    The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said:
    “If there comes to you one whose religious commitment and attitude pleases you, then marry [your female relative who is under your care] to him, for if you do not do that, there will be tribulation on earth and much corruption.” (Narrated by al-Tirmidhi and classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Sunan al-Tirmidhi, 1084).
    As well as being religiously committed, it is preferable that he should come from a good family and a known lineage. If two men come to propose marriage to one woman, and they are equal in terms of religious commitment, then preference should be given to the one who comes from a good family that is known for its adherence to the commands of Allah, so long as the other person is not better than him in terms of religious commitment – because the righteousness of the husband’s close relatives could be passed on to his children and his good origins and lineage may make him refrain from many foolish and cheap actions. The righteousness of the father and grandfather are beneficial to the children and grandchildren. Allah says (interpretation of the meaning):
    “And as for the wall, it belonged to two orphan boys in the town; and there was under it a treasure belonging to them; and their father was a righteous man, and your Lord intended that they should attain their age of full strength and take out their treasure as a mercy from your Lord” [al-Kahf 18:82].
    See how Allah protected their father’s wealth for the two boys after the father died, as an honour to him because of his righteousness and taqwaa. By the same token, if the husband comes from a righteous family and his parents are good, Allah will make things easy for him and protect him as an honour to his parents.
    It is good if he has sufficient wealth to keep him and his family from having to ask people for anything, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said to Faatimah bint Qays (may Allah be pleased with her), when she came to consult him about three men who had proposed marriage to her, “As for Mu’aawiyah, he is a poor man who has no wealth…” (Narrated by Muslim, 1480). It is not essential that he should be a businessman or rich, it is sufficient for him to have an income that will keep him and his family from having to ask people for anything. If there is a choice between a man who is religiously committed and a man who is wealthy, then the religious man should be given preference over the wealthy man.
    It is preferable that he should be kind and gentle towards women, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said to Faatimah bint Qays, in the hadeeth quoted above, “As for Abu Jaham, his stick never leaves his shoulder”, referring to the fact that he used to beat women a lot.
    It is good if he is sound of body and healthy, free of faults, sickness, etc., and not disabled or sterile.
    It is preferable that he should have knowledge of the Qur’aan and Sunnah; if you find someone like this it is good, otherwise you should realize that this is something rare.
    It is permissible for the woman to look at the man who comes to propose marriage, and for him to look at her. This should be in the presence of her mahram, and it is not permitted to look more than is necessary, or for him to see her alone, or for her to go out with him on her own, or to meet repeatedly for no reason.
    According to Islam, the woman’s wali (guardian) should check on the man who proposes marriage to the woman who is under his guardianship; he should ask those whom he trusts among those who mix with him and who know him, about his commitment to Islam and his trustworthiness. He should ask them for an honest opinion and sincere, sound advice.
    Before and during all of this, you must turn towards Allah and pray to Him to make it easy for you and help you to make a good choice and to grant you wisdom. Then after all these efforts, when you have decided on a particular person, you should pray Istikhaarah, asking Allah for that which is good. For more details on Salaat al-Istikhaarah, please see Question  2217. Then after you have done your utmost, put your trust in Allah, for He is the best of helpers, may He be glorified.
    Adapted from Jaami’ Ahkaam al-Nisaa’ by Shaykh Mustafaa al-‘Adawi.
    We ask Allah, the Exalted, the Powerful, to make things easy for you, to help you make a wise choice, and to bless you with a righteous husband and good offspring, for He is Able to do all that. May Allah bless our Prophet Muhammad.

  • Q n A : Are Wedding Rings Permissible?


    Q
    Are Wedding Rings Permissible?


    A

    Praise be to Allah.Can men wear gold?
    With regard to men wearing gold , whether it is a ring or anything else, it is not permissible under any circumstances. Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) forbade gold for the males of this ummah. He saw a man wearing a ring of gold and he (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) took it from his hand and said, “Would any one of you take a coal from the fire and hold it in his hand?” (Narrated by Muslim, al-Libas wa’l-Zinah, 3897)
    So it is not permissible for the Muslim male to wear a gold ring. 
    But with regard to rings of silver or any other kind of metal, it is permissible for men to wear them even if they are precious metals. 
    Are wedding rings haram?
    With regard to the wedding ring, which is worn on the occasion of marriage, this is not one of the customs of the Muslims. If it is believed that it generates love between the spouses, and that taking it off and not wearing it will have an effect on the marital relationship, then this is regarded as a form of shirk and is a kind of jahili belief. Based on the above, it is not permissible to wear a wedding ring under any circumstances. 
    Why are wedding rings haram?

    Firstly, because it is an imitation of those who are no good; it is a custom that has come to the Muslims from the non-Muslims.
    Secondly, if that is accompanied by the belief that it has an effect on the marital relationship, then this is a kind of shirk. La hawla wa la quwwata illa Billah (there is no power and no strength except with Allah). (From a fatwa issued by Shaykh Salih al-Fawzan). 

    Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymin was asked about the ruling on wearing engagement rings. He said: 
    “The engagement ring is a kind of ring, and there is nothing wrong with rings in principle, unless that is accompanied by some belief, as some people do when the man writes his name on the ring that he gives to his fiancée, and she writes her name on the ring that she gives to him, believing that this will create strong bonds between the couple. In this case, this ring is haram, because it is an attachment to something for which there is no basis in Islam and which makes no sense. Similarly, with regard to the engagement ring, it is not permissible to the man to put it on his fiancée’s hand, because she is not his wife yet and she is still a stranger (non-mahram) to him, because she is not his wife until after the marriage contract has been done.” (Al-Fatawa al-Jami’ah li’l-Marah al-Muslimah, vol. 3, p. 914-915) 
    For more, please see these answers: 76413 , 20069 , and 11446
    And Allah knows best.

  • Q n A : She wants to get married, and her mother got pregnant with her without being married


    Q
    She wants to get
    married, and her mother got pregnant with her without being married


    A

    Praise be to Allah.It was reported in a saheeh hadeeth that the child belongs
    to the bed and the stone is for the adulterer, so it is not permissible for
    the child to be given the name of the adulterer or of the mothers husband.
    Rather, she should be called after her mother, so that her name will be So and
    so the daughter of So and so [her mother]. Otherwise, her guardian should choose
    for her a common name that cannot be attributed to any specific person. For
    the girl who is asking this question, there is no sin on her at all because
    of her parents sin, and if she is patient in putting up with any annoyance
    as a result of it, she will be rewarded for that, in sha Allaah. And Allaah
    knows best. See also Questions # 6195.