Q n A : She was raped when she was small and now she wants to get married

Praise be to Allah.
Firstly: 

A person may not know the real reason for which Allah tests
him in this world until the Day of Resurrection, when he will discover the
high status that Allah, may He be exalted, has prepared for him in Paradise
if he is patient and seeks reward. At that time he will realise that Allah,
may He be exalted, tried and tested him by His grace and in His wisdom. 

It was narrated from Jaabir (may Allah be pleased with him)
that the Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said:
“On the Day of Resurrection, those who were hale and hearty will wish that
their skin had been cut with scissors, when they see the reward of those who
were put to trial.”

Narrated by at-Tirmidhi, 2402; classed as hasan by al-Albaani
in as-Silsilah al-Hadeethah, 2206 

It seems that you have, praise be to Allah, overcome that
situation and its psychological effects; in fact I hope that you have
emerged psychologically stronger, with higher morale and a purer spirit, for
in every trial there is a blessing and after every calamity comes well
being. No one should regret what has passed and dwell on the past that will
never come back; rather he should learn a lesson from it for today and be
optimistic about his future. 

In your story there is a lesson for parents who are
responsible for their children before Allah, may He be exalted, that they
should not send them to places of danger on the grounds of thinking well of
relatives. The unfortunate reality compels us to say that many cases of
molestation come from relatives. We ask Allah to keep us safe and sound. 

This is not a call to sever ties of kinship and cause
division among people; rather it is a call to be always careful and take
precautions as dictated by the situation. Parents have to take proper
precautions without going to extremes or being negligent. Islam has given us
an important principle in this regard, which is the principle of blocking
the means (that may lead to evil). In fact Islam teaches us to take
precautions even among siblings in the same house. That was when the Prophet
(blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) instructed us to separate
children in their beds, as was narrated by Abu Dawood (495) and classed as
saheeh by al-Albaani. 

Al-Munaawi (may Allah have mercy on him) said: i.e., separate
your children in their beds in which they sleep when they reach the age of
ten years, so as to avoid temptations, even if they are his siblings.

End quote from Fayd al-Qadeer, 5/531] 

At-Teebi (may Allah have mercy on him) said: Telling them to
pray and separating them in their beds are mentioned together in childhood
for the purpose of discipline and adhering to all the commands of Allah… And
for the purpose of teaching them good manners among people, and so that they
will not find themselves in suspicious circumstances, and so that they may
avoid all things that Allah has prohibited.

End quote from Sharh Mishkaat al-Masaabeeh, 2/155 

In your story there is also a lesson for parents that they
should check on their children’s situations and make the children get used
to talking frankly about every issue they face, whether it is in school, in
the street or in the home. Many children encounter problems and suffer
mental illness as a result, and the parents are completely unaware of that,
when they could have relieved their children of what was affecting them. But
lack of frankness within the family leads to embarrassment in the children
that prevents them from complaining to their parents. 

Secondly: 

With regard to what you mentioned about the young man who has
proposed marriage to you, and your speaking frankly to him and telling him
what happened to you when you were small, and his accepting it and not
objecting – that is a blessing from Allah to you. Allah has brought you
someone who will excuse you for what happened to you when you were small and
will conceal a matter in which you were mistreated, and he wants to marry
you you in the manner prescribed by Allah. May Allah reward him with good. 

But you made a mistake when you continued to talk to one
another before the shar‘i connection between you was made (i.e., marriage).
You could have done the Islamic marriage contract and delayed consummation
of the marriage until he graduates or finds work. But if the matter is
allowed to remain as it is now, that is undoubtedly haraam, because there is
no legitimate shar‘i relationship between you. Rather all it is at present
is wishes and promises of marriage. 

What you have to do is adhere to the Islamic ruling; it is
not permissible for you to continue talking to one another until the shar‘i
marriage contract has been done. If he is sincere in his promise to marry
you, then he will respond to the ruling of Allah and will hasten to do the
marriage contract, or he will cut off contact until he graduates. If he does
not respond to the ruling of Allah, may He be exalted, then be very careful
in that case, for his aim may be only to have fun and pass the time talking
to girls, in which case he is using the promise of marriage as a means to
get what he wants, especially if he knows the situation; this may be an
opportunity for the Shaytaan to whisper to him and cause trouble. 

You do not have to tell any suitor of what happened to you,
and it does not matter if the hymen has been broken, because the hymen may
be broken by jumping or by heavy menstrual bleeding. 

We have previously published on our website several answers
having to do with the ruling on talking and chatting between the sexes, such
as the answers to questions no.
7492, 13791,
26890,
45668,
66266,
82702

We ask Allah, may He be exalted, to protect you, guide you
and bless you with contentment and happiness. 

And Allah knows best.