Tag: Q n A

Praise be to Allah.
Firstly: 

We ask Allaah to guide your children and to reward you with
the best of rewards for your concern and care and for advising them and
teaching and guiding those for whom Allaah has made you responsible. 

It should be noted that raising children is difficult and
that it requires knowledge and wisdom, patience and forbearance. Children –
both male and female – go through different stages as they grow, and each
stage has its own problems. You have to understand this and pay attention to
it before starting to solve your son’s problem and his stopping memorizing
Qur’aan. 

Secondly: 

Parents should not give up their responsibility of guiding
their children just because of some incident that happens with one of them.
They should not stop guiding them and caring for them. The man is a shepherd
of his family and he will be responsible for them on the Day of
Resurrection. His flock – his wife and children – are a trust which Allaah
warns against neglecting and failing to take care of properly. 

Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):  

“O you who believe! Ward off yourselves and your families
against a Fire”

[al-Tahreem 66:6]

“Truly, We did offer Al‑Amaanah (the trust or moral
responsibility or honesty and all the duties which Allaah has ordained) to
the heavens and the earth, and the mountains, but they declined to bear it
and were afraid of it (i.e. afraid of Allaah’s Torment). But man bore it.
Verily, he was unjust (to himself) and ignorant (of its results)”

[al-Ahzaab 33:72]
It was narrated that
‘Abd-Allaah ibn ‘Umar said: I heard the Messenger of Allaah (peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him) say: “Each of you is a shepherd and each of
you is responsible for his flock. The ruler of the people is a shepherd and
is responsible for his flock. A man is the shepherd of his household and is
responsible for his flock. A woman is the shepherd of her husband’s house
and children and is responsible for her flock. The slave is the shepherd of
his master’s wealth and is responsible for it. Each of you is a shepherd and
each of you is responsible for his flock.” 

Narrated by al-Bukhaari (853) and Muslim (1829). 

Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:  

The one who neglects to teach his son that which will benefit
him and leaves him to his own devices has wronged him severely. Most
children only become corrupt because of their parents and their neglect of
them, and their failure to teach them the obligatory duties and sunnahs of
Islam. They neglect them when they are young then they are not able to
benefit themselves or their parents when they grow up. 

Tuhfat al-Mawdood (p. 229). 

Thirdly: 

What your son has done by ceasing to memorize Qur’aan and
lead the prayer may be understood in two ways:  

1 – That he is sincere in what he is saying, which is what
seems to us to be the case. In that case you must advise him and guide him
in the way that is best, and make him understand that there is no
contradiction between what you are telling him to do and having a sincere
intention. He can correct his intention if it was not right, and correcting
it is better for him in this world and in the Hereafter than giving up the
action altogether. You should also make him understand that the methods that
the shaytaan uses to stop the Muslim doing acts of worship and continuing in
them include whispering to him that his intention is not sound, and that he
is not doing it for the sake of Allaah, so that this Muslim will give up his
act of worship if he has started it, or he will refrain from starting it and
doing it if he had not started it, and thus the shaytaan will have attained
what he wanted. 

You can ask your son this: What will he do with his children
when Allaah blesses him with children and he is responsible for them on the
Day of Resurrection? Undoubtedly – in sha Allaah – he will answer by saying
that he will tell them to do that which is to their benefit, and encourage
them to obey and worship Allaah, which includes memorizing Qur’aan and
prayer. If he is honest with you and gives you this answer, then he will
have committed himself, and given evidence against himself, and this is what
you yourself have done with him. 

We advise you not to criticize him too much, and to discuss
with him. You can go to a scholar or seeker of knowledge whom he trusts to
discuss the matter with him, and hear something from someone other than you
who has knowledge that will put his mind at rest. You do not have to be the
one who advises him, changes his mind and convinces him, rather you should
delegate that to someone else, so that he will do that on the basis of being
pleased with what he has heard. 

We also advise you to stop your shunning of him straight
away, and stop refusing to treat him kindly. Right now he is in the greatest
need of you and your compassion. He is suffering
from something that the imams and scholars also suffered from, which is the
issue of intention (niyyah). Imam Sufyaan al-Thawri (may Allaah have mercy
on him) said: I have never dealt with anything more difficult than my
intention. So beware of forsaking him, and beware of being too harsh with
him, lest you lose him forever. We ask Allaah not to let that happen. 

2 – The second possibility is that he is lying, in which case
you have to find out whether your son has been affected by the sickness of
loss of interest and ambition. There are many causes for these sicknesses,
including the following:  

(i)Influence of bad friends

(ii)Too many duties in school and
at home, so that he feels overwhelmed and gives up on some of them.

(iii)Finding the Qur’aan
memorization program too heavy, which has led to him becoming tired and
bored.

(iv)Not having the chance to relax
in permissible ways, such as going on trips, playing games, and watching
beneficial shows. Some fathers are too keen for their children not to pay
any attention to these things that allow for relaxation and bring more
energy for worship and obedience.

(v)Reaching the stage of puberty
and adolescence, which is a dangerous stage in a young man’s life. Parents
must pay attention to their sons when they reach this age, and treat their
sons as men, not children, and lightening up on the things they tell them to
do. The stage of persuasion and understanding should begin, which is totally
different from when they were small.

What we have mentioned are some of the possible causes. You
know what is really going on, whether he is telling the truth or lying.
Hence we said that raising children is difficult, and needs knowledge and
wisdom, patience and forbearance. It is not a simple matter, especially with
all the corrupt influences, distractions and the war against virtue,
chastity and righteousness that is being waged inside and outside.  

Look for the reason why he has stopped memorizing Qur’aan and
given up his commitment. If he is telling the truth, then we have mentioned
above is the way to deal with it. If he is lying, then check on the
possibilities that we have mentioned, and seek the help of Allaah, asking
Him to guide you and help you. And do not forget to pray for your son, for
he is more in need of that than you. 

This is the experience of a famous Qur’aan reader – Shaykh
Muhammad Siddeeq al-Manshaawi (d. 1388 AH). Read what his son Muhammad
al-Shaafa’i wrote about him and the way he took care of his children and
taught them to memorize Qur’aan. 

Professor Muhammad Husayn Ibraaheem al-Rantaawi said: 

Al-Shaafa’i Muhammad Siddeeq – the name of the shaykh’s son –
spoke of the methods of guiding and directing the children that his father
followed and said: My father was very keen that we should do the obligatory
duties, and he would often take us with him to the mosques where he read
Qur’aan. That was an opportunity for me to visit and get to know most of the
mosques of Egypt. He would also keep an eye on us when we chose our friends,
and he would insist that they come from religiously-committed families of
good character, and join his children in studying, and he would help them to
do their homework and attend parents’ meetings in the schools that his
children went to. During the summer holidays, he had us take part in sports
such as swimming and archery during the day, and at night he would read to
us the religious books that were suited to our age. Then when one of us had
acquired the habit of reading, he would supply him with books and encourage
him to read more. Before all of that came memorization of Qur’aan, so that
even the one who had been left out because he was too small was encouraged
by his father Shaykh Siddeeq to memorize Qur’aan, and he did that. End
quote.  

Article entitled Muqri’ al-Sahwah al-Islamiyyah
al-Mu’aasirah al-Qaari’ al-Shaykh Muhammad Siddeeq al-Manshaawi
(1920-1969 CE).

Al-Firqaan magazine, published
by Jama’iyyah al-Muhaafizah ‘ala al-‘Qur’aan, Jordan, issue no. 41, Jumaada
al-Oola 1426 AH, 2005 CE. 

Fourthly: 

To this son of yours, whom we ask Allaah to help and guide to
that which He loves and which pleases Him, we say: 

You should understand first of all that this devilish trick
to block people from following the way of Allaah has been known since
ancient times. The accursed one wants to prevent people from doing good
whenever he finds a way to do that, and he comes to each person in the way
that is appropriate. 

Hence al-Fudayl ibn ‘Iyaad (may Allaah be pleased with him)
said: 

Refraining from doing an action because of the people is
showing off, and doing it because of the people is shirk. Sincerity is when
Allaah protects you against both. 

Al-Adhkaar by al-Nawawi (18). 

It was narrated that al-Haarith ibn Qays al-Ja’fi said: If
you are doing something that has to do with the Hereafter then continue and
if you are doing something that has to do with this world then be careful.
If you intend to something good then do not delay it, and if the shaytaan
comes to you when you are praying and says ‘You are showing off,’ then make
it longer. Narrated by Imam Ahmad in al-Zuhd (430), with a saheeh
isnaad. 

Undoubtedly you know the status of Shaykh Muhammad ibn Saalih
al-‘Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on him), and we think that you know
that he is one of the trustworthy scholars. We believe that you respect and
admire him, and we would never misquote the Shaykh. We will let you read
what he said about a problem similar to yours and we hope that you will pay
attention to his answer and act upon it, because that will bring you
happiness and goodness in this world and in the Hereafter. 

Shaykh Muhammad ibn Saalih al-‘Uthaymeen (may Allaah have
mercy on him) was asked: 

What is your advice to a seeker of knowledge who has worked
hard to correct his intention and to be sincere, but he could not manage to
do that? He is afraid that the ahaadeeth which carry a stern warning
addressed to the one whose intention is not sincerely for the sake of Allaah
alone will apply to him, and he will soon stop seeking knowledge. Please
advise us, may you be rewarded. 

He replied: 

This is an importance question for the seeker of knowledge,
for knowledge is one of the best and greatest acts of worship, which Allaah
has made equivalent to jihad for His sake, as He says, may He be blessed and
exalted (interpretation of the meaning): 

“And it is not (proper) for the believers to go out to
fight (Jihad) all together. Of every troop of them, a party only should go
forth, that they (who are left behind) may get instructions in (Islamic)
religion, and that they may warn their people when they return to them, so
that they may beware (of evil)”

[al-Tawbah 9:122]

Allaah tells us that the believers cannot all go out to fight
in jihad for the sake of Allaah; rather a few from every group should learn
the principles of the religion of Allaah, so that they may warn their people
when they return in order that they may beware (of evil), and the others
should fight for the sake of Allaah.  

And the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon
him) said: “When Allaah wills good for a person, He causes him to understand
the religion.” If a person thinks that Allaah has caused him to understand
his religion, then he should accept the glad tidings that Allaah has willed
good for him, and he must be sincere in his intention towards Allaah when
seeking knowledge, by having the following intentions in his pursuit
thereof: 

Firstly: Obeying the command of Allaah, may He be blessed and
exalted, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “So know (O
Muhammad صلى الله عليه وسلم) that Laa
ilaaha illAllaah (none has the right to be worshipped but Allaah” [Muhammad
47:19]. Al-Bukhaari (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: He started with
knowledge, before words or deeds. 

Secondly:  He should intend by his learning to preserve the
laws of Allaah, for sharee’ah is preserved in people’s hearts and in books. 

Thirdly: he should intend by his learning to protect the
sharee’ah of Allaah against its enemies, because its enemies have been
trying to undermine it since the Messenger (peace and blessings of
Allaah be upon him) was sent and they will carry on trying to do so until
the Hour begins. So by seeking knowledge let him intend to protect the great
sharee’ah. 

Fourthly: He should intend thereby to defend sharee’ah if
anyone attacks it, and in that case he must learn the weapons with which he
will defend his knowledge. Rather we say that he should focus on the issues
concerning which the enemies of Allaah try to cause confusion, and tackle
each issue in the manner that befits it. People vary with regard to this
matter. Some people may try to cause confusion about ‘aqeedah, so one needs
to learn ‘aqeedah by means of which he can ward off false beliefs. Some
people may attack Islam by means of bad manners, so he has to learn good
manners and learn the consequences of bad manners, and so on.  

Fifthly: The seeker of knowledge must also intend by his
pursuit of knowledge to worship Allaah in the manner that Allaah approves
of, because without learning a man cannot know how to worship Allaah whether
that is in his wudoo’, his prayer, his charity, his fasting or his hajj. He
should also call others to Allaah with his knowledge, explaining sharee’ah
to people and calling them to adhere to it. 

In fact knowledge is one of the best acts of worship and one
of the greatest and most beneficial. Hence you will find the that Shaytaan
is keep to keep people from acquiring knowledge; he will come to a person
and tell him that he is seeking knowledge to show off, so that the people
will see him and think that he is a scholar, so he will lose interest and
will say: I should keep away from showing off? Or he will come to him and
tell him: Have the intention when seeking shar’i knowledge of making some
worldly gain, so that the warning “The one who seeks knowledge that should
be sought  for the sake of Allaah, but he does it only for some worldly
gain, will not smell the fragrance of Paradise” will apply to you. And he
comes to him with many things that will prevent him from seeking knowledge.
But one must seek refuge with Allaah from the accursed shaytaan, and go
ahead with his plans, and not pay any attention to these whispers that enter
his heart. Every time he feels that something is distracting him from
seeking knowledge – by whatever means – he should say, “A’oodhu Billaahi
min al-shaytaan il-rajeem (I seek refuge with Allaah from the accursed
satan)” and “ Allaahumma a’inni (O Allaah, help me) and so on. 

And I say to this student:

Go ahead and seek knowledge, and do not let the shaytaan
keep you from remembering Allaah or seeking knowledge. Carry on even though
you will encounter difficulty and hardship in making your intention correct,
but correcting one’s intention is something easy. Go ahead, O young man, and
seek the help of Allaah, may He be glorified and exalted, and seek refuge
with Allaah from the accursed shaytaan. 

Fataawa Noor ‘Ala al-Darb (al’Ilm),
quoting from the website of Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on
him). 

We think that there is a great deal of good in you, in sha
Allaah, and that the words of the imams of knowledge and faith, and the
advice of Shaykh al-‘Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on him) will all have
an effect on your heart, mind and life. 

You should remember that your father does not want anything
but good for you, and that every act of worship and obedience that you do is
for you and your father.  

And remember that attaining victory by the blessing of the
Qur’aan in the Hereafter will be shared between you and your parents, and
the loss caused by neglecting it will also be shared between you and them. 

It was narrated that ‘Abd-Allaah ibn ‘Umar (may Allaah be
pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of
Allaah be upon him) said: “It will be said to the companion of the Qur’aan:
Recite and rise in status, and recite as you used to recite in the world,
and your status will be at the last verse you recite.” 

Narrated by Abu Dawood (1464) and classed as saheeh by
al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi Dawood. 

It was narrated that Buraydah (may Allaah be pleased with
him) said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be
upon him) said: “Whoever reads the Qur’aan and learns it and acts upon it
will be given a crown of light to wear on the Day of Resurrection, the light
of which is like the light of the sun, and his parents will be clothed with
two suits the equivalent of which is not to be found in this world, and they
will say: Why have we been clothed with this? And it will be said: Because
your son learned the Qur’aan.” 

Narrated by al-Haakim (1/756); he said it is saheeh according
to the conditions of Muslim. Al-Albaani said It is hasan because of
corroborating evidence, as it says in Saheeh al-Targheeb. 

Goodness and happiness lie in obeying Allaah in this world,
and obeying your parents is obligatory for you. The acts of worship that you
do are not for any human being, rather they are for Allaah your Lord. We ask
Allaah to guide you and help you to do that which He loves and which pleases
Him.

And Allaah is the Source of strength.

Praise be to Allah.
The problems of Muslims in kaafir countries are innumerable
and heartbreaking. These societies and environments are not suitable for
Muslims, because their values are incompatible with Islam and its noble
principles, high moral standards and decent etiquette.

The Messenger (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon
him) warned us sternly against living in such environments and societies,
because he knew the bad effect that this would have on Muslims, with regard
to their religious commitment, morals and behaviour. He said: “I disavow
myself of any Muslim who settles among the mushrikeen.” Narrated by Abu
Dawood (2654) and al-Tirmidhi ( 1604); classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in
Irwa’ al-Ghaleel (1207). 

Your uncle’s situation – and that of many others – is the
result of settling among the kuffaar which our religion has forbidden. 

It is a great loss in this world and in the Hereafter, if
Allaah does not bestow His mercy upon him. 

You have no choice but to be patient with your uncle, for it
seems from your advice to him and his response to you that the seed of faith
is still alive in his heart, which needs your care and concern on an ongoing
basis. Always keep in mind the words of the Prophet (peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him) to ‘Ali (may Allaah be pleased with him):
“If Allaah were to guide one man at your hands, that would be better for you
than red camels (i.e., the best kind).” Narrated by al-Bukhaari (2942). 

If he stays with you in the house – and you keep advising him
and taking care of him – that is better for him than wandering the streets
and living as a vagabond, which could lead him to a bad end because of his
being far away from you. Doing the lesser of two evils and warding off one
by means of the other is what is required here. 

Treating him kindly is also part of honouring your mother and
pleasing her, so strive to call him to what is good and try to distract him
from what he is doing now. Take him to the mosque with you sometimes. We ask
Allaah, may He be glorified and exalted, to guide the Muslims who have gone
astray and to show them the right way, for He is Able to do that. 

And Allaah knows best.

Praise be to Allah.Firstly: 
We congratulate you both for repenting from the sins that you committed, which is by the grace of Allaah to you both. Allaah calls all His believing slaves to repent, as He says (interpretation of the meaning): 
“And all of you beg Allaah to forgive you all, O believers, that you may be successful”
[al-Noor 24:31]. 
You should realize that Allaah rejoices at the repentance of His slave. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Allaah rejoices more over the repentance of His slave when he repents to Him than one of you who was on his mount in the wilderness, then he lost it, and his food and drink are on it, and he despairs of finding it. He goes to a tree and lies down in its shade, having lost hope of finding his mount, and whilst he is like that, there it is standing in front of him, so he takes hold of its reins and says, because of his intense joy, ‘O Allaah, You are my slave and I am Your lord,’ making this mistake because of his intense joy.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari (5950) and Muslim (2747).  
You should realize that Allaah has promised to turn bad deeds into good deeds. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):  
“Except those who repent and believe (in Islamic Monotheism), and do righteous deeds; for those, Allaah will change their sins into good deeds, and Allaah is Oft‑Forgiving, Most Merciful”
[al-Furqaan 25:68-70]
But this depends on the repentance being sincere. The conditions thereof are:
 1.Giving up the sin
2.Regretting what one has done
3.Resolving not to go back to it.
Secondly: 
Undoubtedly what your wife did is a bad thing, but now she has repented from it, so we hope that because of her repentance she will go back to the way she was before, or become even better.
We cannot be certain that it is better for you to stay with her, but we say to you: 
If you think that her repentance is sincere, and that she deeply regrets what she did, and that she has changed for the better, and her sin will not had any negative effect such as making you doubt her and hate her, then what we think is that you should keep her, so as to maintain her repentance and protect your children from being lost. 
We hope that her case is like this, and that you will keep her in kindness, and that what she has done will not affect you, especially since you say that you also committed sins and immoral actions before Allaah enabled you to repent.  
Undoubtedly your falling short with regard to her rights played a major role in your wife’s turning against you and falling into sin, even though it does not justify what she did. You have to watch yourself and fulfil the rights that Allaah has enjoined you to give to your wife and children. 
One of her rights over you is that you should help her to repent sincerely and guide her towards good and warn her against evil. It is not permissible for you to allow her to visit those who play a role in corrupting her and leading her astray, even if they are the closest of people to you. You are a shepherd and the head of your household, and Allaah will ask you about your flock and whether you neglected them or did the duties that Allaah enjoined upon you. 
What we think is that you should conceal her sin and appreciate her repentance and stay with her. It is not diyaathah (cuckoldry) to keep her after she has repented, rather diyaathah is keeping her when she has not repented and is persisting in having haraam relationships, which is what we hope she has repented from sincerely. 
And Allaah knows best.

Praise be to Allah.Undoubtedly your wife is persisting in making a serious mistake, and we ask Allah to guide her. The most serious thing that you mention about her is the matter of her careless attitude towards prayer, because not praying leads – Allah forbid – to one becoming beyond the pale of Islam, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “What stands between a man and shirk or kufr is his giving up prayer.” (Narrated by Muslim, 82). This applies to one who does not pray at all. But some of the scholars (may Allah have mercy on them) thought that a person who fails to pray one prayer on time also becomes a kaafir. See al-Mughni, 3/354). This points to the seriousness of the matter. 
You have done your duty towards your wife by guiding and advising her, and this has borne fruit. Even though it may be incomplete, it is still a positive step which indicates that there is goodness in your wife and that she is prepared to change the rest. Yes, that may be slow but it is possible. You see that in the beginning she was not convinced of hijaab and did not wear it at all, but after the noble efforts on your part she has started to wear it partially. Even though it is not full hijaab as it should be worn, it still gives us hope and points to hidden goodness in her. You can bring it to the surface so that she will wear proper hijaab on the basis of conviction and her own desire to do it, as time goes by and as you continue your efforts. This means that you must continue to advise her and not give up, and you will be rewarded for that. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “If one man were to be guided at your hands, that will be better for you than red camels [i.e., the best kind].” (Narrated by al-Bukhari, no. 6). 
Always remind her of Allah and make her fear Him; tell her of the importance of prayer in Islam and that she has to learn the things that have to do with prayer, such as the rulings on menstruation and post-partum bleeding, because it is obligatory on every woman, when her bleeding stops, to hasten to do ghusl when the time for prayer comes. Try to bring her useful books on that topic, such as the essay by Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allah have mercy on him) on “The Natural Blood of Women” or some useful tapes. You can help her by sitting and reading with her, or listening to the tapes with her, because this is a kind of cooperating in righteousness and piety. 
[Translator’s note: Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen’s essay is available in English with additional notes by Bilaal Philips, under the title Islamic Rules on Menstruation and Post-Natal Bleeding, published by Dar al-Fatah, Sharjah, UAE].
With regard to what you mention about her mistakes in reading Quran, if the mistakes are in her recitation of al-Faatihah and are such that they distort or change the meanings of the words – such as reading an’amta [“You [masculine] have bestowed Your grace”] as an’amti [i.e., feminine form of the verb], or any other mistake which would make a listener understand something other than the correct meaning – this means that she has to learn how to read properly, because such mistakes make the prayer invalid, as reciting al-Faatihah is a pillar or essential part of the prayer, without which the prayer is not valid. But if the mistakes do not change the meaning , such as reading “ar-Rahmaan ir-Raheem” as “ar-Rahmaan ur-Raheem”, this does not invalidate the prayer. 
The Muslim must learn to read Quran so that he can recite it correctly, and so that he will not distort the Quran without realizing. 
You have to help her with that, either by teaching her yourself, or by showing her things that will help her, such as tapes of the Quran by readers who are known to recite well. You must also explain to her the virtues of reading Quran and the reward for that. 
So in conclusion you have to continue teaching and advising her, and be patient in doing so. Do not say that she has only responded a little after so much time and effort, for even this little is blessed by Allah. We have a good example in the Prophets, for Nooh called his people for nine hundred and fifty years. Allah says (interpretation of the meaning): 
“And indeed We sent Nooh (Noah) to his people, and he stayed among them a thousand years less fifty years [inviting them to believe in the Oneness of Allah (Monotheism), and discard the false gods and other deities]” [al-‘Ankaboot 29:14]
Yet despite that only a few of his people believed in him. 
Make her enjoy learning about her religion by making it easy for her. Encourage her if you see that she is responding to you, even if it is something small. Know that you are an example for her, so watch what you do and say. Beware of telling her to do something then being the first one to go against that, or of telling her not to do something then being the first one to do it, for this will stop her from accepting your advice, or will delay her. 
You have to be gentle in the way you advise her, for the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “Allah is Kind and loves kindness, and He confers upon kindness that which He does not confer upon severity and does not confer upon anything else besides it (kindness).” (Narrated by Muslim, 2593). 
You must also make a lot of du’aa’ and beseech Allah to open her heart to obedience towards Him and make His religion and laws beloved to her. I ask Allah to help you to do good.

Praise be to Allah.
Firstly: 
You should
advise your sister and explain to her the rulings on hijab and that it is
haraam to make a wanton display of one’s beauty (tabarruj). May Allaah guide
her and open her heart to the truth. 
It is important
to be wise and patient, and to show love, mercy and compassion towards your
sister when you speak to her. You should choose the most suitable ways and
times for that. You could also use some books and tapes that will encourage
her to wear hijab and will dispel her doubts.
 As for going
out in the street with her when she is adorned, that is not permissible
except in cases of necessity, because her going out like that is an evil and
it is not permissible to help her in that, because Allaah says
(interpretation of the meaning): 
“Help you
one another in Al‑Birr and At‑Taqwa (virtue, righteousness and piety); but
do not help one another in sin and transgression. And fear Allaah. Verily,
Allaah is Severe in punishment”
[al-Maa’idah
5:2]
You should
advise your parents and explain to them that it is haraam for a girl to go
out in the street wearing adornment openly, and that they are responsible
for that, as Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 
“O you who
believe! Ward off yourselves and your families against a Fire (Hell) whose
fuel is men and stones, over which are (appointed) angels stern (and)
severe, who disobey not, (from executing) the Commands they receive from
Allaah, but do that which they are commanded”
[al-Tahreem
66:6]
And the Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:
“Each of you is a shepherd
and each of you is responsible for his flock. The ruler of the people is a
shepherd and is responsible for his flock. A man is the shepherd of his
household and is responsible for his flock. A woman is the shepherd of her
husband’s house and children and is responsible for her flock. The servant
is the shepherd of his master’s wealth and is responsible for it. And I
think he said: The man is the shepherd of his father’s wealth and is
responsible for his flock. Each of you is a shepherd and each of you is
responsible for his flock.” 
Narrated by al-Bukhaari
(893) and Muslim (1829). 
It is not honouring one’s
parents to obey them with regard to tabarruj or going out with a woman who
is showing her adornments openly, because there is no obedience to any
created being if it involves disobedience towards the Creator. 
Secondly: 
There is no suggested
annual schedule for reading, rather each person should work it out according
to his work and free time, and the level of his comprehension, and other
factors. What matters is that you should organize your time and have the
desire to acquire and increase knowledge, as well as seeking the help of
some Shaykhs to determine your priorities in reading, to solve problems and
to explain difficult matters.  
If you cannot contact any
of the shaykhs who are qualified to teach, then you can make use of tapes
which explain the books of different disciplines, as well as seeking the
help of one of your righteous brothers with whom you can study and organize
regular appointments for getting together and studying which is one of the
greatest means of attaining blessing.  
Thirdly: 
Reading books requires
awareness, insight and the ability to make good choices, as well as methods
that will help one to continue and succeed. With regard to this, we advise
you to read a book called Kayfa Taqra’ Kitaaban (How to Read a Book),
which you will find via this link (in Arabic):

http://audio.islamweb.net/audio/index.php?page=audioinfo&audioid=102290
We ask Allaah to help and
guide us and you. 
And Allaah knows best.

Praise be to Allah.If the marriage contract is
done, then the woman becomes a wife and it is permissible for the husband to
do with her what all husbands do with their wives. But having intercourse
should be delayed until the day of the consummation (wedding party), so as
to avoid any negative consequences that may result from that. 
With regard to engagement,
that comes before the marriage contract, and it does not make it permissible
to have intercourse, be alone with her or be intimate with her, rather when
the man proposes marriage it becomes permissible for him to look at the one
whom he wants to marry, but he is still a stranger to her like all other
men, until the marriage contract is done. 
Based on this, intercourse
in the first case (when the marriage contract has been done) is permissible
and there is no sin in that. But in the second case (engagement) it is
zina. 
With regard to repairing
the hymen, it is not permissible in either case, because it is deceit and it
is a deception of the second husband as it will make him think that his wife
is a virgin, when in fact she is not. Having this operation also means that
the doctor will look at the most private part of the ‘awrah when that is not
necessary. 
In addition to that, if the
hymen was torn due to zina, then the operation to repair it will be helping
in something haraam and making it easy. 
And Allaah knows best.

Praise be to Allah.It is not essential for you
to live with your family, rather it may be better for you and your wife and
your mother for you to live with your wife outside your parents’ house. In
most cases the one who lives with his family – or even close to them – will
not have a problem-free life. Wise people who measure things against the
standards of sharee’ah and wisdom are very few, especially among women
because of the jealousy and competition that exists among them. 
Your living away from your
family may set things straight between your mother and your wife. Distance
is a bonus in many cases, so there is no need to worry. You may see
something as bad and feel distressed because of it, then it turns out to be
good. Your mother may begin to miss you and her grandchildren because of
your being away from her, and her feelings may change towards your wife if
she is out of sight and she only sees her occasionally. This is something
that is tried and tested. 
But if you want a solution
to the cause of the problem, which is that your mother does not like your
wife, you have to look for the reasons why she does not like her and find
out what is stopping her from liking her. These may be some of the reasons
why your mother does not like your wife: 

1-Mixing too much with her, which
leads to too much talk, and the one who talks too much makes too many slips
of the tongue. 

2-Jealousy of your wife and your
love for her. This happens a great deal. You often see the husband’s mother
being jealous of her son’s love for his wife and his responding to her
wishes, and she thinks that this wife has taken her son from her.

3-Your wife’s bad treatment of
your mother. Some wives do not treat their husbands’ mothers well, so they
do not answer their requests or show them respect, which leads to many
problems between them.

4-Your falling short with regard
to your mother’s rights and not paying attention to your wife’s rights. The
mother cannot hate her son, rather she tries to pick on something which she
things is the cause of the problem, which is his wife, so she hates her.
These are some of the
reasons which may make your mother dislike your wife. If you see that all or
some of them are applicable in your case, then you must deal with it in a
wise and good manner. 
We advise you to take the
following steps to create love between your mother and your wife: 
1 – Live apart from your
mother, and tell your mother that you are doing this even though you don’t
want to, for her sake, so that your mother will not put pressure on herself
and make herself ill.
2 – Advise your wife to
send a lot of gifts to your mother, whether they are material things such as
clothes, food etc, or intangible gifts such as sending salaams and asking
after her health.
3 – Asking wise people whom
your mother likes to intervene to change her mind about your wife. In this
case outsiders may have a greater influence on the mother than her son and
her husband.  
We should point out that as
you are no longer living with your mother, you should try find separate
accommodation for yourself that is separate from your wife’s family too.
Perhaps your moving in with them has deepened the rift between the two
sides. Moreover it is not usually a good thing in establishing a marriage
and it may have a negative effect on the couple’s life. 
Do not forget to pray to
Allaah and ask Him to guide all of you to that which He loves and which
pleases Him, and ask Allaah to reconcile everyone and bring them together.
And to guide them to the best of words, deeds and attitudes. 
And Allaah is the Source of
strength.

Praise be to Allah.The hymen may be broken for
various reasons, such as jumping, insertion of fingers, heavy periods, and
other reasons that the fuqaha’ have mentioned. 
See: al-Mabsoot
(5/8); Kashshaaf al-Qinaa (5/47) and al-Fataawa al-Kubra
(3/88). 
A strong jet of water could
also break the hymen. 
Whatever the case, so long
as you are chaste, you should not worry about that, and you do not have to
tell the husband about it. 
This has been discussed in
the answer to question no. 84364. 
And Allaah knows best.

Praise be to Allah.
There follow three messages, addressed to you, your friend
and your aunt. 

The first message is addressed to you:

1.We ask Allaah to increase your
reward, and to relieve your distress, and to reconcile your family.

2.We hope that what happened will
be a lesson for you and for others, that women should not be careless about
their pictures or allowing themselves to have their pictures taken, even
with their friends, and they should not trust anyone with regard to such
matters, even the closest of people to them such as their sisters, for
example,  because she cannot be sure that her sister’s husband will not see
them or publish them, let alone trusting a stranger on the grounds of
friendship or being related.

3.You made a mistake before
stealing by not consulting people of knowledge and wisdom. When we read your
letter, we thought that it would end with your consulting them about what to
do with this treacherous friend, and we were shocked by the way things
developed and reached such an extent. Perhaps this is a lesson for everyone
who finds themselves in such a dilemma to look for a solution with others
before it gets even worse, because the more problems develop, the more
complicated they get, specially problems that befall women with regard to
evil and corrupt people.

4.What you did with regard to
your aunt was absolutely necessary. You told her the truth, restored her
rights and swore to her what the truth of the matter really was. She has to
believe you and overlook this matter. Remember that being truthful will save
a person, and Allaah will cause the truth to be known sooner or later. So be
patient and seek the help of Allaah, and persist in making du’aa’, asking
Allaah to grant you relief and cause justice and truth to prevail. 

5.We offer you this advice, which
you need to discuss with your family and with a lawyer – if possible –
because we do not know anything about the laws in your country: why don’t
you tell the police about your friend who betrayed you with this picture,
because we think that if she is arrested and her computer is inspected,
Allaah will suffice you against her evil and the truth will come out in sha
Allaah.

The second message is addressed to your friend:

1.You have to repent to Allaah
and seek His forgiveness for what you have done, and you should realize that
you have committed many sins and caused many bad things to happen. You have
betrayed your friend and made false accusations against her, you have helped
to spread evil by means of bad pictures which you have spread after adding
the picture of your friend to them, you have taken money from her
unlawfully, and you have caused trouble for her and caused her to break
family ties.

2.Part of repentance is admitting
your error to your friend, her mother and her aunt. Allaah will not accept
your repentance otherwise, because one of the conditions of repentance is
setting right things that were affected by the sin. Allaah says
(interpretation of the meaning):

“Except those who repent and do righteous deeds, and
openly declare (the truth which they concealed). These, I will accept their
repentance. And I am the One Who accepts repentance, the Most Merciful”

[al-Baqarah 2:160]

You should understand that your admitting to what you did
will relieve your friend of distress, and will lift the false accusation
that has been made against her. Man’s life is short, then he will meet his
Lord with his deeds, so beware of meeting your Lord with those deeds without
having repented sincerely from them.

3.Another part of repenting
properly is returning the wealth that you took unlawfully from your friend.

4.Another part of repenting
properly is destroying the picture completely, and not committing this sin
again either with your friend or with someone else.

The third message is addressed to your aunt:

1.You should understand that
Allaah is always watching you, He hears what you say and He knows that which
is hidden and that which is more secret. We do not wish anything but good
for you. It is to a woman like you that people would refer with regard to
problems, and it is to people like you that those who are astray look for
guidance. Your daughter and the daughters of your sisters turn to your for
help, because you are the source of compassion and the merciful heart that
they know, and our Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allaah be
upon him) said: “The maternal aunt is like the mother.” Narrated by
al-Bukhaari (2553).

2.We will ask you a single
question which we hope you will answer to yourself: What if something this –
Allaah forbid – had happened to one of your daughters? What if she had done
what your sister’s daughter did? Would you like her aunt’s attitude towards
her to be like your attitude now? We are sure – based on our good opinion of
you – that you would never want that. So why do you agree to that for
yourself? Do not think it is unlikely that bad would do things like that,
and do not think it is unlikely that good people may be falsely accused of
bad things.

We wish you and your sons and daughters well, and we hope
that you will have an open mind and accept the truth and realize that your
niece is innocent of the false accusation that her friend made against her.
We have advised her friend to repent and admit the truth to you. May Allaah
guide her to admit to you the awful thing she has done. But we also ask you
to think about this false accusation and understand that it is pure
fabrication, and your wisdom and compassion dictate that you should do the
right thing in this case.

3.Your Prophet Muhammad
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) has enjoined something upon you
and we do not think that you will do anything but respond to it. This
command is that if someone swears to you by Allaah, you must believe him and
accept his oath. You have no certain knowledge that contradicts your niece’s
oath, so you have no choice but to obey the command of your Prophet Muhammad
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him).

It was narrated that Ibn ‘Umar (may Allaah be pleased with
him) said: The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)
said: “Whoever swears by Allaah, let him fulfil his oath, and if an oath is
sworn for a person by Allaah, let him accept it. Whoever is not content with
Allaah has nothing to do with Allaah.” Narrated by Ibn Maajah (2101);
classed as hasan by al-Haafiz Ibn Hajar in Fath al-Baari (11/536) and by
al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Targheeb (2951). 

Al-Sindi (may Allaah have mercy on him) said, commenting on
Sunan Ibn Maajah: “if an oath is sworn for a person by Allaah” means:
an oath is sworn for him by Allaah to please him. “Has nothing to do with
Allaah” means, will never be close to Him. 

The point is that that who are close to Allaah believe the
one who swears an oath, out of veneration towards Allaah. The one who does
not believe him when he is able to do so is not one of them. End quote. 

Shaykh ‘Abd al-Rahmaan ibn Hasan (may Allaah have mercy on
him) said: 

With regard to the words “and if an oath is sworn for a
person by Allaah, let him accept it. Whoever is not content with Allaah has
nothing to do with Allaah”, if there is no way to settle the matter except
by asking his opponent to swear an oath and he swears an oath, then
undoubtedly he must accept it. But if what is happening between the people
is something on a personal level, where people are trying to justify
their positions with other and the like, then it is the right of one
Muslim over another that he should accept what he says when he swears an
oath absolving himself of blame or declaring his innocence of what he has
been accused of or justifying his position. Another right that he has
over him is that he should think well of him if there is no evidence to the
contrary, as in the report narrated from ‘Umar (may Allaah be pleased with
him): “Do not think badly of a word that is uttered by a Muslim when there
is a way of interpreting it positively.”  

The hadeeth also points to humility, compassion, love and
other interests that Allaah loves, as is clear to anyone who has any
understanding. This is a means of uniting hearts in obedience to Allaah, and
it also comes under the heading of the good attitude which is the heaviest
thing that may be placed in a person’s balance, as it says in the hadeeth,
and it is one of the noblest of characteristics. 

Fath al-Majeed (p. 405). 

We hope that you will think about the words of this Shaykh
(may Allaah have mercy on him), for they are relevant to your situation. One
of your niece’s rights over you is that you should accept her oath, and one
of her rights over you is that you should think well of her. 

Do you know what ‘Eesa (peace be upon him) did when he saw a
man stealing, and that man swore to him by Allaah that he did not steal?
Think about it: 

It was narrated that Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with
him) said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be
upon him) said: “‘Eesa ibn Maryam saw a man stealing and ‘Eesa said to him:
‘Did you steal?’ He said: ‘No, by the One besides Whom there is no other
god.’ ‘Eesa said: ‘I believe in Allaah and I disbelieve my own eyes.’”
Narrated by al-Bukhaari (3260) and Muslim (2368). 

Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: The
Messiah (peace be upon him), because of the great fear of Allaah in his
heart, thought that this person who swore by the Oneness of Allaah was
telling the truth, so his belief in Allaah made him believe him and make him
think that his eyes had deceived him, and shown him something that he did
not see, so he said: “I believe in Allaah and I disbelieve my own eyes.”  

Undoubtedly one’s eyes may be mistaken and see things other
than they really are, and may imagine things that do not really exist, then
reason dictates that this is a mistake. The Messiah (peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him) put his faith before his vision, and
disbelieved what his eyes had seen, and attributed the mistake to himself. 

Badaa’i’ al-Fawaa’id (3/1159,
1160). 

We hope that what we have mentioned will be sufficient to
persuade you to accept your niece’s oath and lift the accusation from her.
You cannot afford to go against Islamic teachings by rejecting this ruling,
We think that you are of a noble character, in sha Allaah.  

4.We end this message to you by
saying that if, Allaah forbid, your niece has committed any sin or error –
and we would never say that you know that from a third party but we will say
that you saw it yourself – then do you know what you should do? You should
conceal it for her! Yes, conceal her sin and do not broadcast it among
people. Do you know what the reward is that results from that? You will be
concealed by Allaah in this world and in the Hereafter.

It was narrated that Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with
him) said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be
upon him) said: “Whoever removes a worldly hardship from a believer, Allaah
will remove one of the hardships of the Day of Resurrection from him.
Whoever grants respite to (a debtor) who is in difficulty, Allaah will grant
him relief in this world and in the Hereafter. Whoever conceals (the fault
of) a Muslim in this world, Allaah will conceal him (his faults) in this
world and in the Hereafter. Allaah will help a person so long as he is
helping his brother.” Narrated by Muslim (2699). 

Think about what the Prophet (peace and blessings of
Allaah be upon him) said to a man who encouraged an adulterer to admit his
sin. He said to him: “If you had concealed him with your garment it would
have been better for you.” 

Narrated by Abu Dawood (4377); classed as saheeh by
al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Targheeb (2335). 

Think about the warning issued to the one who exposed his
brother’s honour – which you would not do, because your niece’s honour is
your honour, and whoever harms her (with regard to her honour) is harming
you too.

 It was narrated from Ibn ‘Abbaas (may Allaah be pleased with
him) that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:
 “Whoever conceals the fault of his Muslim brother, Allaah will conceal his
faults on the Day of Resurrection. Whoever exposes the fault of his Muslim
brother, Allaah will expose his faults even if he did that in his own
house.” 

Narrated by Ibn Maajah (2546); classed as saheeh by
al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Targheeb (2338). 

Please excuse us for having spoken at length, which we would
not have but for our distress at the severing of family ties which resulted
from your niece’s thinking well of people, and our concern about accusations
being made unjustly against people’s honour. You did not see anything
yourself, and your niece did not confess to any sin, rather she swore an
oath to you  and told you about her friend who caused all this trouble for
her. What excuse is there for anyone to accuse her or impugn her honour? 

We ask Allaah, may He be blessed and exalted, to help you to
do all that is good and to ward off evil and its people from you, and to
reconcile between you, and to restore the ties between you and make them
stronger than they were before. 

And Allaah is the Source of strength.

Praise be to Allah.This method of fertilization, which involves placing the egg with the husband’s sperm in the womb of the other wife, is a method that is not acceptable according to sharee’ah, and a large number of scholars are of the view that it is haraam. Statements were issued concerning it by the Islamic Fiqh Council of the Organization of the Islamic Conference (OIC) and by the Islamic Fiqh Council of the Muslim World League. Those who initially said that this method was permissible later retracted their view. There follows some of what was said in those statements. 
1 – Statement of the Islamic Fiqh Council of the Organization of the Islamic Conference (OIC). 
The meeting of the Islamic Fiqh Council held on 8 – 13 Safar 1407 AH (11–16 October 1986). 
After examining the subject of artificial fertilization –“test-tube babies” – by studying the research presented and listening to comments of experts and doctors, and after discussion, the Council reached the following conclusions: 
The methods of artificial fertilization that are known nowadays are seven: 
i.Where fertilization occurs between the sperm taken from the husband and an egg taken from a woman who is not his wife, then the embryo is implanted in his wife’s uterus.
ii.Where fertilization occurs between the sperm of a man other than the husband and the wife’s egg, then the embryo is implanted in the wife’s uterus.
iii.Where fertilization occurs between the sperm and egg of the couple, and the embryo is implanted in the uterus of a woman who volunteers to carry it (surrogate motherhood).
iv.Where fertilization occurs outside the womb between the sperm and egg of strangers, then the embryo is implanted in the wife’s uterus.
v.Where fertilization occurs outside the womb between the sperm and egg of the couple, then the embryo is implanted in the uterus of the other wife.
vi.Where sperm is taken from the husband and an egg is taken from the wife, and fertilization occurs outside the womb, then the embryo is implanted in the wife’s uterus.
vii.Where sperm is taken from the husband and placed in the wife’s vagina or uterus so that fertilization may take place inside her body.
It was determined that the first five methods are all haraam according to sharee’ah and are forbidden completely in and of themselves, or because of the results to which they will lead, such as mixing of lineages, loss of motherhood and other things that are forbidden according to sharee’ah. 
With regard to the sixth and seventh methods, the committee thinks that there is nothing wrong with resorting to them in cases of need, after emphasizing that it is essential to take all necessary precautions. End quote. 
Majallat al-Majma’ (3/1/423). 
2 –Statement issued by the Islamic Fiqh Council of the Muslim World League: 
and blessings and peace be upon our Master and Prophet Muhammad and his family and companions. 
The Islamic Fiqh Council, in its eighth session held at the headquarters of the Muslim World League in Makkah al-Mukarramah, from Saturday 18 Rabee’ al-Aakhir until Monday 7 Jumaada al-Oola 1405 AH (19-28 January 1985), examined the remarks submitted by some of its members concerning what the Council had declared permissible … with regard to artificial fertilization and test-tube babies, which was issued in its seventh session, held between 11-16 Rabee’ al-Aakhir 1404 AH, where it says: 
“The seventh method, in which the sperm and egg are taken from the couple and, after fertilization in a laboratory vessel, the embryo is implanted in the womb of another wife of the same man, as she volunteers to carry this pregnancy of behalf of her co-wife whose womb has been removed – it seems to the committee that this is permissible in cases of need and subject to the general conditions mentioned previously.” 
The remarks may be summed up as follows: 
The other wife in whose womb the embryo from the egg of the first wife is implanted may become pregnant with a second child before the embryo becomes established in her womb, as the result of relations with her husband around the time of the implanting of the embryo, then she may give birth to twins and it may not be known which child resulted from the (implanted) embryo and which resulted from relations with the husband, and it may not be known which wife is the mother of the child who resulted from the (implanted) embryo and which is the mother of the child who resulted from relations with the husband. Similarly, one of the two embryos may die at the ‘alaqah or mudghah stage but not be expelled from the uterus until the other child is born, and it may also not be known whether he is the child that resulted from the (implanted) embryo or from relations with the husband. This means that there is confusion as to who the real mother is and there is mixing of lineages which affects a number of rulings. All of this means that the Council must retract their rulings in the case mentioned. 
The Council has also listened to the opinions presented by doctors and obstetricians who attended the meeting and who pointed to the possibility of the other pregnancy being miscarried as the result of marital relations with the woman who is carrying the embryo, and confusion of lineages as mentioned above. 
After a discussion of the matter and an exchange of opinions, the Council decided to retract the view that the third type mentioned is permissible, and in the seventh session, 1404 AH. 
Qaraaraat al-Majma’ al-Fiqhi (pp. 159-161). 
Based on that: 
It is not permissible to take the husband’s sperm and the wife’s egg and put the mixture in the womb of another wife of the husband. 
And Allah knows best.