Tag: Q n A

  • Q n A : He wants to marry her but she does not wear niqaab. Should he go ahead and propose or should he look for someone else?


    Q
    He wants to marry her but she does not wear niqaab. Should he go ahead and propose or should he look for someone else?


    A

    Praise be to Allah.We ask Allaah the Almighty to make us and you steadfast in adhering to His religion, and to bless us and you with more obedience and righteousness. 
    With regard to what you are asking about, it is better for you to stay with this girl towards whom your heart is inclined, and who feels likewise about you, and who has no faults that would cause you to leave her. All that there is, is that she needs a little care and encouragement and sound Islamic education to accept and follow the commands of Allaah. 
    A lot of that may come after marriage, especially if you treat her nicely and move her into a better environment than the one she is in, which is what we advise and encourage you to do.  
    There is no reason why a woman who loves her religion and is obedient to her husband should not respond to the command of Allaah as regards her clothing, especially since this will make her husband love and respect her more. 
    Her refusal to wear niqaab may be because of the lies fabricated by some of those who are ignorant and who follow their own whims and desires, who say that the niqaab is a custom inherited from the Jaahiliyyah and that it was not brought by Islam. You should explain to her the ruling on a woman covering her face, with evidence from the Qur’aan and Sunnah, and tell her that the scholars are unanimously agreed that this ruling is prescribed in Islam. 
    Remind her of the Sahaabi women who hastened to tear their aprons so that they could cover their faces after the verse of hijab was revealed, and encourage her to have righteous friends. Tell her that this world is transient and soon each of us will meet our Lord with our deeds. 
    Neither you nor she should worry about what your families will say. As for such environments where the rulings of Islam are not known and people cannot differentiate between proper adherence to Islam and extremism no attention should be paid to them or to what they say about one who adheres to the path of righteousness. 
    If your wife does not respond to the Islamic injunction to cover the face, then be patient with her, and try to convey the message to her in some other way, such as from another women who is involved in da’wah, or by means of tapes and books by scholars whose knowledge and religious commitment can be trusted. 
    Seek the help of Allaah and persist in calling upon Him, asking Him for support and help to establish a household based on what our Lord loves and is pleased with. 
    Show her the answer to question no. 21134, which speaks of the obligation to wear niqaab according to the Qur’aan and Sunnah. 
    And please see question no. 20343 which speaks of the husband’s duty to advise his wife and how he may do so. 
    And Allaah is the Source of strength.

  • Q n A : Their aunt wants to corrupt them; should they cut off ties with her?


    Q
    Their aunt wants to corrupt them; should they cut off ties with her?


    A

    Praise be to Allah.
    The command to uphold the ties of kinship is one of the first
    commands that were revealed in Islam. It is indicated in a number of proven
    saheeh ahaadeeth, such as the following: 

    (a)

    The story of how ‘Umar ibn ‘Absah became Muslim. He asked the
    Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him): With what were you
    sent? He (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “He has sent
    me to uphold the ties of kinship, to break the idols and to proclaim the
    Oneness of Allaah, not associating anything with Him.” Narrated by Muslim
    (832). 

    (b)

    The story of Abu Sufyaan and Heraclius when he sent for him
    and said: What does he – meaning the Prophet (peace and blessings of
    Allaah be upon him) – enjoin upon you? He said: He enjoins us to pray, give
    charity, be chaste and uphold family ties.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari (7) and
    Muslim (1773). 

    In many verses Allaah warns us against severing the ties of
    kinship, and states that there will be numerous punishments for the one who
    does so, which includes incurring the curse of Allaah and a bad end. Allaah
    says (interpretation of the meaning): 

    “And those who break the Covenant of Allaah, after its
    ratification, and sever that which Allaah has commanded to be joined (i.e.
    they sever the bond of kinship and are not good to their relatives), and
    work mischief in the land, on them is the curse (i.e. they will be far away
    from Allaah’s Mercy), and for them is the unhappy (evil) home (i.e. Hell)”

    [al-Ra’d 13:25]

    Some relatives may cause the one who upholds ties with them
    to fall into sin, especially if he is unable to change the evil that they
    are doing.  They may insist – for example – on listening to music and mixing
    and indulging in swearing, mocking and backbiting. Such people have an
    effect on their visitors and the one who seeks to uphold ties with them. The
    Muslim has to advise his relatives as much as he is able to. They are more
    entitled to this advice than others, but only if that will benefit them,
    whether he is certain of that or thinks it most likely. But if he sees that
    they are persisting in sin and especially major sins, and that is affecting
    his faith and religious commitment, then it is sufficient for him to uphold
    ties with them in the minimum fashion, so that he will not be severing the
    ties of kinship. So instead of visiting them, he can just call them on the
    phone, and if he visits them he does not have to stay for long, and so on. 
     

    But this should after trying his best to advise them and
    exhort them and bring them back to the right way, as well as turning to
    Allaah in du’aa’, asking Him to guide them to the straight path. 

    And Allaah knows best.

  • Q n A : Is having false teeth fitted regarded as changing the creation of Allaah?


    Q
    Is having false teeth fitted regarded as changing the creation of Allaah?


    A

    Praise be to Allah.
    Fitting false teeth to replace teeth that have been taken out
    because they were unhealthy or damaged is something permissible and there is
    nothing wrong with doing it, and we do not know of any scholar who disallows
    it. It makes no difference whether the teeth are fixed in place in the mouth
    or not. The patient should do what is best for him in consultation with a
    specialist in that field. 

    Changing the creation of Allaah means not accepting the
    creation of Allaah with regard to the length or shape of the teeth or the
    gaps between them. Hence the one who changes the creation of Allaah in
    general is cursed, and the one who changes it with regard to his teeth in
    particular is cursed.  

    Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

    “They (all those who worship others than Allaah) invoke
    nothing but female deities besides Him (Allaah), and they invoke nothing but
    Shaytaan (Satan), a persistent rebel!

    118. Allaah cursed him. And he [Shaytaan (Satan)] said: ‘I
    will take an appointed portion of your slaves.

    119. ‘Verily, I will mislead them, and surely, I will
    arouse in them false desires; and certainly, I will order them to slit the
    ears of cattle, and indeed I will order them to change the nature created by
    Allaah.’ And whoever takes Shaytaan (Satan) as a Wali (protector or helper)
    instead of Allaah, has surely, suffered a manifest loss”

    [al-Nisa’ 4:117-119]

    It was narrated from ‘Abd-Allaah ibn Mas’ood (may Allaah be
    pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be
    upon him) said: “May Allaah curse the one who does tattoos and the one who
    has a tattoo done, the one who plucks eyebrows and the one who has her
    eyebrows plucked, and those who file teeth for the purpose of
    beautification, changing the creation of Allaah.” Narrated by Muslim
    (2125). 

    Al-Nawawi (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: 

    The one who does tattoos is the one who uses a needle and the
    like on the back of the hand, wrist, temple or other place on a woman’s body
    where blood flows, then fills that place with kohl etc and it turns blue.  

    “The one who plucks eyebrows” is one who removes hair from
    the face. 

    “Those who file teeth” refers to women who file the teeth to
    create a gap between the front teeth and second incisors. This was done by
    elderly women and those of similar age to make them look younger and to make
    the teeth look more beautiful, because it is younger girls who have these
    nice gaps between their teeth. When a woman grows older her teeth become
    bigger, so they used to file them to make them look nicer and to make people
    think they were younger. This action is haraam for the one who does it and
    the one to whom it is done, because of these ahaadeeth, and because it is
    changing the creation of Allaah, and because it is cheating and deceiving
    people. 

    “Those who file teeth for the purpose of beautification” –
    this indicates that what is haraam is that which is done for the purpose of
    beautification. But if it is needed for medical reasons or to correct a
    fault in the tooth and so on, then there is nothing wrong with it. 

    Sharh Muslim (14/106, 107). 

    The words of al-Nawawi point to the difference between
    treating the teeth in order to remove a fault in them and not being pleased
    with the creation of Allaah and tinkering with it for the purpose of
    beautification. The former is permissible and the latter is haraam. 

    There is evidence in the Sunnah which shows that it is
    permissible to wear false teeth if the teeth have fallen out due to old age
    or sickness, and it is permissible for them to be made of gold if nothing
    else can be used. 

    It was narrated from ‘Arfajah  ibn As’ad that his nose was
    cut off at the battle of Kilaab during the Jaahiliyyah, and he wore a nose
    of silver, but it caused a foul stench, so the Prophet (peace and
    blessings of Allaah be upon him) told him to wear a nose made of gold.  

    Narrated by al-Tirmidhi (1770), Abu Dawood (4232) and
    al-Nasaa’i (5161). Classed as hasan by Shaykh al-Albaani in Irwa’
    al-Ghaleel (824). 

    The scholars of the Standing Committee said: 

    But in cases of necessity it is permissible to use gold for
    teeth, noses and the like, if nothing else can be used instead. End quote. 

    Fataawa Islamiyyah (4/248). 

    Shaykh Muhammad ibn Saalih al-‘Uthaymeen (may Allaah have
    mercy on him) said:  

    We should note that it is not permissible to have a gold
    tooth except when there is a need for that. It is not permissible for anyone
    to have a gold tooth put in for the purpose of adornment, except women for
    whom is it customary to have gold teeth, in which case there is nothing
    wrong with it. But for men it is not permissible at all except in cases of
    necessity. End quote. 

    Liqaa’aat al-Baab il-Maftooh
    (28/question no. 5). 

    And Allaah knows best.

  • Q n A : She faced social pressures that made her stop praying and take off hijab


    Q
    She faced social pressures that made her stop praying and take off hijab


    A

    Praise be to Allah.
    Firstly: 

    We understand the extent of the problem that you are
    suffering and the extent of the pressure you are facing to give up your
    religion and your commitment. This problem is not yours alone, rather it is
    a problem faced by thousands of Muslims who want to adhere to the teachings
    of this great religion, and want to live a moral life of honour and
    chastity, but they face many problems in their societies that,
    unfortunately, have deviated from Islam to a large extent and now look down
    upon and scorn those who adhere to Islam, and governments that cause trouble
    for those who are committed to Islam. Everyone knows what is going on in
    your country, the war against Islam and those who are committed to it. We
    ask Allaah to foil their plots and support His religion and His believing
    slaves. 

    Secondly: 

    “The reward of Allaah is precious, the reward of Allaah is
    Paradise.” Thus said the Messenger (peace and blessings of Allaah be
    upon him), and undoubtedly the precious reward needs a high price, and there
    is nothing more precious than Paradise. Hence the Muslim must accept that
    whatever difficulties he faces on his way to Paradise, they are to be
    expected, and in fact, no matter how hard it is, they pale into
    insignificance when compared with the delights that await him in Paradise. 

    This is what makes it easy for the Muslim to bear the
    calamities of this world and the difficulties that he faces on his path
    towards Allaah. 

    The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)
    has told us that the most destitute of the people in this world, of those
    who will enter Paradise, will be brought and dipped once in Paradise, and it
    will be said to him: O son of Adam, did you ever see anything bad? Did you
    ever experience any hardship? He will say: No, by Allaah, O Lord. I never
    saw anything bad and I never experienced any hardship.”. Narrated by Muslim
    (2807). 

    The mind can imagine the state of this person, “the most
    destitute of the people in this world,” and imagine the worst of situations
    and trials, but one dip in Paradise will make him forget all that.

     And the Messenger (peace and blessings of Allaah be
    upon him) has told us about the days of patience, and that the one who
    adheres to his religion at that time will be like the one who takes hold of
    a burning ember. Perhaps the current time is what the Messenger (peace
    and blessings of Allaah be upon him) meant, so we have no choice but to be
    patient and put up with hardships and even confront them, otherwise we may
    lose out in this world and in the Hereafter: 

    “By Al‑‘Asr (the time).

    2. Verily, man is in loss,

    3. Except those who believe (in Islamic Monotheism) and do
    righteous good deeds, and recommend one another to the truth [i.e. order one
    another to perform all kinds of good deeds (Al‑Ma‘roof) which Allaah has
    ordained, and abstain from all kinds of sins and evil deeds (Al‑Munkar)
    which Allaah has forbidden], and recommend one another to patience (for the
    sufferings, harms, and injuries which one may encounter in Allaah’s Cause
    during preaching His religion of Islamic Monotheism or Jihad)”

    [al-‘Asr 103] 

    Thirdly: 

    With regard to the social and political pressures that you
    are facing – and we understand how hard it is – we offer the following
    advice to you and to everyone who is facing a similar problem, whilst noting
    that under such pressures a Muslim may face severe difficulty in adhering to
    the rulings of Islam, so there may be no choice but to compromise and be
    content with partial commitment for fear of giving up commitment altogether.
    But that is subject to the condition that the Muslim always seeks that which
    is better and strives hard to overcome these difficulties and gradually seek
    to attain full commitment. 

    So this compromise is a temporary stage, it is not
    permanent. 

    Whatever a Muslim cannot do in full today because of the
    pressures he is facing, let him do whatever he can of it – even if there are
    shortcomings – until he gradually reaches a stage of full commitment and the
    society may accept his transformation from one stage to another, because
    that is easier than going through confrontations and problems. 

    There follows some advice, and we apologize for making it too
    long, but the matter is serious and of the utmost importance, and affects
    thousands and thousands of Muslims as we have said, so one or two words are
    not enough. 

    1 – “Laa hawla wa laa quwwata illa Billaah (there is
    no power and no strength except with Allaah)” 

    This is a beautiful phrase, and it is one of the treasures of
    Paradise. We have no power to change from one state to another, from
    disobedience to obedience, from imperfection to perfection, except with the
    help and guidance of Allaah.  

    So it is essential to seek the help of Allaah first and last.
    In Soorat al-Faatihah which the Muslim recites several times each day, it
    says (interpretation of the meaning): “You (Alone) we worship, and You
    (Alone) we ask for help (for each and everything)” [al-Faatihah 1:5]. 
    We cannot worship Allaah unless Allaah enables us and helps us to do that.
    Among the du’aa’ of the people of Paradise are the words (interpretation of
    the meaning): “All the praises and thanks be to
    Allaah, Who has guided us to this, and never could we have found guidance,
    were it not that Allaah had guided us” [al-A’raaf 7:43].
    And among the du’aa’ of the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of
    Allaah be upon him) were the words: “Do not leave me to myself even for the
    blink of an eye.” Al-Silsilah al-Saheehah (226). 

    So it is essential to seek the help of Allaah, rely on Him
    and be aware that all things are in His hand, and with the word “Kun
    (Be!)” He does whatever He wills. 

    So seek the help of Allaah and delegate your affairs to Him,
    and trust that Allaah will grant you a way out: “And whosoever puts his
    trust in Allaah, then He will suffice him” [al-Talaaq 65:3].  

    2 – Constant du’aa’ 

    Say du’aa’ a great deal, asking Allaah to make things easier
    for you, to help you to do all that is good, to guide and to keep evil and
    its people away from you. ‘Umar ibn al-Khattaab (may Allaah be pleased with
    him) used to say: “I am not worried whether Allaah will respond, but I am
    worried about whether I will be able to make du’aa’, because if I am helped
    to du’aa’, then the response will come with it.” Du’aa’ relieves distress
    and takes away worry.  

    The Messenger (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon
    him) said: “There is no Muslim who says a du’aa’ in which there is no sin or
    severing of family ties, but Allaah will give him one of three things:
    either He will hasten to answer his prayer, or He will store it up for him
    in the Hereafter, or He will divert an equivalent evil from him.” They said:
    Then we will say a lot of du’aa’! He said: “Allaah can give more than that.”
    Narrated by Ahmad (10794), classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh
    al-Targheeb (1633). The one who says du’aa’ is always in a good state,
    no matter how much du’aa’ he says, for Allaah is greater in goodness,
    blessing and grace. 

    3 – Worship, especially prayer 

    You have to pay attention to acts of worship, for they will
    revive the heart and alert the one who is negligent, and they are among the
    most important factors of steadfastness and the best help in achieving one’s
    goals, after the help of Allaah, may He be exalted. 

    The greatest act of worship is prayer, for it is the main
    foundation of faith after the shahaadatayn and it is the foundation of
    Islam. The heart has no life without prayer. It brings relief from all
    worries and hardships. Hence the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah
    be upon him) used to say to Bilaal: “Let us find rest in it (the prayer), O
    Bilaal.” Saheeh Abi Dawood (4985). So pray, and focus with proper
    humility, and ponder, and weep, and relieve yourself of the worries and
    stress of this world. 

    4 –Reading the Holy Qur’aan 

    Read the Holy Qur’aan regularly, and have a portion of it
    that you read every day, and do not neglect it. You should also have a brief
    Tafseer (commentary) that will help you to understand and ponder the
    meanings of the verses, such as Tafseer al-Sa’di or Aysar
    al-Tafaaseer by Shaykh Abu Bakr al-Jazaa’iri. 

    There is nothing greater than the words of Allaah, and there
    is no exhortation more eloquent than the exhortation of Allaah. There is no
    book that can offer guidance or relief from worry like the Qur’aan. 

    5 – Adhkaar and du’aa’s 

    Always recite the adhkaar that are narrated from the Prophet
    (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) at various times and on
    various occasions, such as the adhkaar for morning and evening, when going
    to sleep and when waking up, when eating and drinking, when going out of the
    house and when coming in, and in all situations. Be certain of the
    importance of understanding their meanings. Among the useful books on this
    topic are: al-Futoohaat al-Rabbaaniyyah bi Sharh al-Adhkaar al-Nawawiyyah
    by Ibn ‘Allaan. This is a valuable book from which you can learn the
    meanings of the adkhaar, so that hearts may be revived and become connected
    to the Knower of the Unseen. 

    6 – Listening to useful lectures and khutbahs 

    Continue to listen to useful lectures and khutbahs, for you
    always need someone to remind you, guide you and advise you. From lectures
    etc you can learn a great deal about the rulings of Islam and how to behave
    at times of crisis. 

    7 – It is essential to read and learn. 

    It is essential for you to learn, read and educate yourself
    in Islamic matters, for “whomever Allaah wills good to, He causes him to
    understand Islam”, as was narrated by al-Bukhaari and Muslim. So it is
    essential to know and understand the rulings of Islam. In many cases where
    things seem difficult and complicated, if a person learned the rulings or
    asked the scholars, he would find it easy and not complicated. There may be
    a concession of which he is not aware, or there may be an alternative in
    sharee’ah that would make it easier for him. Among the useful books that we
    advise you to read is Fiqh al-Sunnah by Shaykh Sayyid al-Saabiq [this
    is available in English translation under the title Fiqh us-Sunnah,
    published in 5 volumes by American Trust Publications,  Plainfield, IN];
    al-Mulakhkhas al-Fiqhi by Shaykh Saalih al-Fawzaan; ‘Awdat al-Hijaab
    by Shaykh Muhammad ibn Ismaa’eel. You can also learn from useful Islamic
    websites. 

    You should also read modern history, especially that of your
    own country, and how Islam has been fought, and what their plots were, for
    if the Muslim understands that, it will inspire him to face the challenge
    and make him adhere to Islam even more. 

    8 – With regard to marriage 

    It is undoubtedly very important, and will bring many
    benefits in your case, such as: 

    (a)  
    Psychological stability, peace
    of mind and tranquillity.

    (b) 
    By Allaah’s leave, it will be a
    means of reducing the social and family pressures on you, because you will
    be able to move to a new home, away from your family and neighbours and the
    society which is placing many restrictions on you that you cannot overcome.

    (c) 
    You will be able to raise
    righteous offspring in an atmosphere of chastity, trust, modesty and
    adherence to this religion, the upbringing that many of us have missed out
    on, unfortunately. 

    A person can do with his children that which he wishes that
    his parents had done with him. Raising righteous offspring is one of the
    most important benefits of marriage. The ummah is waiting for you and others
    like you who love this religion and want to adhere to it. They are waiting
    for righteous, believing offspring from you, through whom Allaah will
    benefit the ummah and change it for the better. 

    There are many other benefits that you will attain through
    marriage, hence we emphasize the importance of this issue. Based on the
    circumstances that you are suffering, the advice which we have to offer you
    is: if there comes to you one with whose religious commitment and character
    you are pleased, do not hesitate to accept, and if there is no such person
    then be content with one who is “semi-committed”, for if we cannot find that
    which is perfect we must be content with the best that is available, even if
    it is not perfect. This advice is just for you, based on your particular
    situation. 

    We do not mean by this that you should be content with an
    evildoer or one who drinks alcohol, not at all. Rather what we mean is one
    who is righteous in general terms, who prays regularly and loves Islam in
    general, one who is of good character and chivalrous, who feels protective
    jealousy with regard to matters of honour, even if he has some other
    faults. 

    You could encourage him to improve, by means of your
    personality, your powers of persuasion and your wisdom in dealing with him,
    after Allaah guides you and him. 

    We do not agree that your going to websites is the last hope
    for you, rather hope never ceases. The Muslim always has hope and expects
    good from his Lord, and he thinks positively of his Lord Who says in the
    hadeeth qudsi: “I am as My slave thinks I am.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari and
    Muslim. 

    9 – With regard to the problem of hijab and your not being
    able to wear it 

    Once again, we state that we understand the extent of the war
    that you are facing in your country because of hijab, hence we think that
    there is no reason why – given your particular circumstances – you should
    not take a gradual approach to wearing hijab. What your parents and society
    may not accept today, they may accept gradually after a month or two, or a
    year. 

    You have to dress as modestly as possible, and try hard to
    cover your head. Wear clothes that are loose, then when the people get used
    to your dressing modestly, you can take another step forward, until you are
    wearing full hijab as Allaah has enjoined upon the believing women and as
    you yourself want and enjoyed wearing in the land of the two sacred mosques
    during your visit. 

    But do not be too hasty. Take it slowly, and you will attain
    what you want, in sha Allaah. 

    This is not the best way that the Muslim should follow, but
    it is acceptable in cases of necessity and in the particular circumstances
    that you are in. Attaining part of a thing is better than nothing, and
    reaching perfection slowly is better than losing everything.  

    10 –With regard to prayer 

    Prayer is the greatest of the pillars of Islam after the
    Shahaadatayn. It is the connection between a person and his Lord, so you
    should pay a great deal of attention to it and it is essential to offer
    prayers regularly, at the proper times. 

    “Verily, As‑Salaah (the prayer) is enjoined on the
    believers at fixed hours”

    [al-Nisa’ 4:10] 

    We do not think there is any problem with regard to Fajr and
    ‘Isha’, or with Maghrib during the summer, when the time for Maghrib begins
    an hour or two after you come back from work. 

    Based on that, there is no excuse for delaying these prayers
    beyond the proper time, so strive hard to offer these prayers at the time
    decreed for them in sharee’ah.  

    That leaves Zuhr and ‘Asr, and also Maghrib during the
    winter. 

    The basic principle – as stated above – is that you should
    offer each of them at the proper time, so look for a time when the place for
    doing wudoo’ is free of men. If that is not possible, there is nothing wrong
    with entering the washroom and doing wudoo’ in there, and wudoo’ done there
    will be valid. In most cases its floor – even if it is wet – will be taahir
    (pure) and the water that is on it will be taahir, so there is nothing wrong
    with doing wudoo’ in there. 

    When praying, a woman is required to cover all of her body
    except her face and hands. If you cannot wear clothes like that for the time
    being, then keep a hijab or other garment for prayer in your office, that
    you can wear at the time of prayer. 

    There is no special place where prayers must be performed,
    rather prayers may be offered anywhere, so you can wait for a chance when
    you are alone in your office, and then pray. 

    If it is too difficult and you cannot offer every prayer on
    time, then we hope that you will have a concession allowing you to join Zuhr
    and ‘Asr, so you can delay Zuhr until the time of ‘Asr and pray them
    together, but that is subject to the condition that it is done before the
    time for ‘Asr ends, and that is half an hour or forty-five minutes before
    sunset. If that is not possible, then you have a concession allowing prayer
    until sunset, but there is no excuse for delaying ‘Asr until after sunset.

    With regard to Maghrib in the winter, if you can do it at
    work then this is what you must do, and if that is not possible then you may
    delay it and join it with ‘Isha’ at the time of the latter, and you can pray
    Maghrib and ‘Isha’ together when you go back home. 

    Remember that if you do that, you are not delaying the prayer
    beyond its proper time, because joining Zuhr and ‘Asr, and Maghrib and
    ‘Isha’, is permissible in cases of necessity and in order to ward off
    hardship, whether one is travelling or not, unlike shortening the prayers,
    which is not permitted except when travelling. 

    But you must try hard to offer every prayer at the proper
    time, and the Muslim should always be able to find a way. A senior military
    figure was unable to ask for permission to pray, lest he be accused of
    fundamentalism or terrorism and be put under watch, so he used to ask
    permission to go to the bathroom, where he would do wudoo’ then go and pray,
    and come back. 

    We do not think that you are incapable of coming up with some
    way and finding an opportunity to offer every prayer on time. If you cannot,
    then join Zuhr and ‘Asr as described above. 

    Finally, we would draw your attention to the fact that many
    of the problems that you are facing at work, such as delaying the prayers
    and not being able to wear hijab, are due to your working in a place where
    you mix with men. 

    A woman’s working in a place where she mixes with men, with
    no shar’i guidelines, leads to many negative consequences, as is obvious to
    you. Hence the wisdom of Islam dictates that this is haraam. If you can move
    to another department or another job where there are no men, this will solve
    your problems at work to a great extent, or you can choose to stop working
    altogether, unless you are facing pressure from your family to carry on
    working, in which case we hope that you have a concession to allow you to
    continue, whilst trying to avoid the bad things as much as possible. 

    Finally, we will be happy to keep in ouch with you and offer
    advice, and  we will be even happier to hear that you have acted upon this
    advice and that you have taken steps in the right direction. 

    We ask Allaah to make you steadfast and to help you to do all
    that is good, and to divert all evil away from you, and to bless you with
    righteous offspring. 

    And Allaah is the source of strength and the Guide to the
    right path. 

    And Allaah knows best.

  • Q n A : He has repented from interfering with his sisters’ daughters – what should he do?


    Q
    He has repented from interfering with his sisters’ daughters – what should he do?


    A

    Praise be to Allah.
    We praise Allaah for having guided you to become religiously
    committed and righteous, and to repent. We ask Him to forgive you for the
    wrongs that you have mentioned towards your sisters and their daughters. You
    have to pray for forgiveness a great deal and do many righteous deeds, and
    keep away from the things that lead to sin. 

    The door of repentance is open, no matter how great the sin,
    as Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 
    “Know they not that
    Allaah accepts repentance from His slaves and takes the Sadaqaat (alms,
    charity), and that Allaah Alone is the One Who forgives and accepts
    repentance, Most Merciful?”
    [al-Tawbah 9:104]
    “And verily, I am indeed
    forgiving to him who repents, believes (in My Oneness, and associates none
    in worship with Me) and does righteous good deeds, and then remains constant
    in doing them (till his death)”
    [Ta-Ha 20:82]

    Repentance erases that which came before it of sin, no matter
    how great or how many the sins. Allaah says: 
    “Say: O ‘Ibaadi (My
    slaves) who have transgressed against themselves (by committing evil deeds
    and sins)! Despair not of the Mercy of Allaah, verily, Allaah forgives all
    sins. Truly, He is Oft‑Forgiving, Most Merciful”
    [al-Zumar 39:53]

    As for restoring rights, you have to make a lot of du’aa’ and
    pray for forgiveness for those whom you wronged, and Allaah accepts the
    repentance of the one who repents. 

    And Allaah knows best.

  • Q n A : She is travelling far away and fears fitnah (temptation) for herself


    Q
    She is travelling far away and fears fitnah (temptation) for herself


    A

    Praise be to Allah.Firstly: 
    We ask Allah, may He be exalted, to relieve your distress and worry and to protect you from falling into the way that leads to doom and destruction and slipping into sin, for He is able to do whatever He wills. 
    Listen to this divine call (interpretation of the meaning): 
    “Say: O ‘Ibaadi (My slaves) who have transgressed against themselves (by committing evil deeds and sins)! Despair not of the Mercy of Allah, verily, Allah forgives all sins. Truly, He is Oft‑Forgiving, Most Merciful” [al-Zumar 39:53] 
    Listen to the call of Allah to His believing slaves (interpretation of the meaning): 
    “O you who believe! Turn to Allah with sincere repentance! It may be that your Lord will expiate from you your sins, and admit you into Gardens under which rivers flow (Paradise)” [al-Tahreem 66:8] 
    Allah accepts the repentance of His slaves, as He says (interpretation of the meaning): 
    “And He it is Who accepts repentance from His slaves, and forgives sins, and He knows what you do” [al-Shoora 42:25] 
    What is it that made you leave your family and travel to a kaafir land and live there? No one can trust himself even in a Muslim country because there are so many doubts and whims and desires! 
    So how about in a land where anything goes, and where the doors to sin are open wide? 
    Because of that, and because of his keenness to protect his ummah from falling into the like of that which you have fallen into – we ask Allah to keep you safe – the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) forbade living among the kuffaar and settling in their lands. He said: “I disavow myself of any Muslim who settles among the mushrikeen.” Narrated by Abu Dawood (2645) and al-Tirmidhi (1604); classed as saheeh by al-Albani in Irwa’ al-Ghaleel (1207).  
    Settling in a kaafir country is unhealthy and hard, a life of anxiety and stress. Their life – I mean the people of that land – is an unbearable hell, by their own admission, because they have lost spiritual discipline and the connection with God; their life has become purely materialistic. Mental illness has become widespread among them, and they have resorted, in many cases, to exiting from this life by means of suicide. 
    Secondly: 
    Our advice to you is to look for the reasons why your family took this attitude towards you and refused everyone who came to propose marriage to you. Try to find out what it is and try to do something about it, so that you will be able to resolve the matter and come up with an appropriate solution so that you will be able to reconcile with your family.  
    If that is not possible and things remain as they are, and you find out that the reasons that have come between you and your family are not legitimate, then in that case your guardian is the ruler or the shar’i qaadi (judge). Since you are living in a country where there is no Islamic legal system and it is not a Muslim country, there is nothing wrong with the director of one of the Islamic centres or the imam of one of the mosques acting as your wali. See the answer to question no. 7989.  
    Thirdly: 
    If you feel that you have sinned because of what you have done in the past, and have turned back to Allah and repented sincerely, meaning that you regret what you did and resolve not to go back to it, and give up the sin, and ask for forgiveness, and do a lot of good deeds, that will make up for what you did and will purify you. Allah says (interpretation of the meaning): 
    “But whosoever repents after his crime and does righteous good deeds (by obeying Allah), then verily, Allah will pardon him (accept his repentance). Verily, Allah is Oft‑Forgiving, Most Merciful” [al-Maa’idah 5:39] 
    “And verily, I am indeed forgiving to him who repents, believes (in My Oneness, and associates none in worship with Me) and does righteous good deeds, and then remains constant in doing them (till his death)” [Ta-Ha 20:82] 
    “And whosoever repents and does righteous good deeds; then verily, he repents towards Allah with true repentance” [al-Furqaan 25:71] 
    Whoever turns away from sin and turns to his Lord and submits to Him, Allah will accept his repentance and make the consequences good, and He will make him one of those who inherit Paradise. Allah says (interpretation of the meaning): 
    “Then, there has succeeded them a posterity who have given up As‑Salât (the prayers) [i.e. made their Salât (prayers) to be lost, either by not offering them or by not offering them perfectly or by not offering them in their proper fixed times] and have followed lusts. So they will be thrown in Hell.
    60. Except those who repent and believe (in the Oneness of Allah and His Messenger Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him), and work righteousness. Such will enter Paradise and they will not be wronged in aught”
    [Maryam 19:59-60] 
    Repentance opens a new door from which he may start a new life, filled with faith, ihsaan and hope. 
    The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “The one who repents is like one who did not sin.” Narrated by Ibn Maajah (4250); classed as hasan by al-Albani. 
    I advise you not to tell him about that, because after repenting it is as if it never happened. Start a new life with him, filled with hope, love and happiness, and surrounded with worship, piety and righteousness, following true guidance. Our advice to you is to hasten to marry this young man, because his getting in touch with you and forming a relationship before marriage is haram, and may open the door to temptation. We ask Allah to protect us from slipping. 
    And Allah knows best.

  • Q n A : He thinks his mother used witchcraft against him and they are on bad terms with one another


    Q
    He thinks his mother used witchcraft against him and they are on bad terms with one another


    A

    Praise be to Allah.It should be noted, first
    of all, that Allaah has enjoined you to respect your parents and to treat
    them kindly in word and in deed, and He has forbidden you to treat them
    badly or say to them “Uff” (a word of disrespect). 
    Allaah says (interpretation
    of the meaning): 
    “And your Lord has
    decreed that you worship none but Him. And that you be dutiful to your
    parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age in your life, say not
    to them a word of disrespect, nor shout at them but address them in terms of
    honour”
    [al-Isra’ 17:23]
    It was narrated that Abu
    Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: A man came to the Messenger
    of Allaah (S) and said: Which of the people is most deserving of my good
    companionship? He said: “Your mother.” He said: Then who? He said: “Then
    your mother.” He said: Then who? He said: “Then your mother.” He said: Then
    who? He said: “Then your father.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari (5626) and Muslim
    (2548). 
    Hence you must stop your
    mistreatment and saying that she is insane, because that is not appropriate,
    and you should treat her in a kind and loving manner, and do not disobey her
    commands so long as there is no sin involved. It is not permissible for you
    to shun her and stop talking to her. If she does that then try hard to
    reconcile with her by speaking kindly and doing kind deeds to her. 
    It should be noted,
    secondly, that it is not permissible for you to accuse a specific person of
    having bewitched you, so how about if the person you accuse is your mother?
    By doing that, you are accusing her of committing a major sin that may reach
    the level of kufr. It is not permissible for you to do this even if the one
    whom you accuse is a stranger to you, so how about if you are attributing
    that reprehensible action to your mother with no proof or evidence? The
    punishment for wronging others is severe, so how about one who wrongs his
    own mother? 
    Allaah says (interpretation
    of the meaning): 
    “And those who annoy
    believing men and women undeservedly, they bear (on themselves) the crime of
    slander and plain sin”
    [al-Ahzaab 33:58]
    Ibn Katheer (may Allaah
    have mercy on him) said:  
    The words “And those who
    annoy believing men and women undeservedly” mean: by attributing to them
    things of which they are innocent, that they have not done. 
    “they bear (on
    themselves) the crime of slander and plain sin” means, this is an
    obvious lie, to say or narrate of the believing men and women things that
    they did not do, by way of criticizing them. 
    Tafseer Ibn Katheer,
    6/480. 
    It was narrated from Jaabir
    ibn ‘Abd-Allaah that the Messenger of Allaah (S) said:  “Beware of
    injustice, for injustice will be darkness on the Day of Resurrection.”
    Narrated by Muslim (2578). 
    Al-Nawawi (may Allaah have
    mercy on him) said: 
    Al-Qaadi said: It was said
    that this means what it appears to mean, and it will be darkness for a
    person who will not be able to find a way on the Day of Resurrection when
    the light of the believers appears before them and on their right. And it
    may be that darkness here refers to hardship, which is how they interpreted
    the verse in which Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “Say (O
    Muhammad صلى الله عليه وسلم): Who
    rescues you from the darkness of the land and the sea” [al-An’aam 6:63],
    i.e. hardships.  And it may be that it refers to punishment. 
    Sharh Muslim
    (16/134). 
    It should be noted,
    thirdly, that you may not have been bewitched, and it may all be illusions
    and imagination. This happens to a lot of people, who believe that they have
    been bewitched when that is not the case. So strive to obey your Lord by
    performing obligatory and supererogatory duties, and strive to honour your
    mother. Always read Qur’aan and try to recite the adhkaar for morning and
    evening. These things, in sha Allaah, will protect you from evil and help
    you to recover from your mental and psychological illnesses. 
    And Allaah is the source of
    strength.

  • Q n A : Problems Between Spouses Due to Children’s Poor Performance at School


    Q
    Problems Between Spouses Due to Children’s Poor Performance at School


    A

    Praise be to Allah.
    Firstly: 

    Raising the children is a responsibility that is shared
    between both parent. If there is a conflict or shortcoming in their
    upbringing, that has a bad effect on the children, who will develop a bad
    attitude and will be lost. Hence it is obligatory for the parents to raise
    their children well and not to have any conflicts or shortcomings,
    especially in front of the children. They should agree on the Islamic
    educational means they will use to deal with their children’s mistakes. If
    one parents thinks that there should be consequences for wrongdoing, but the
    other disagrees and thinks that they should be easy-going, they should
    discuss it and come to some agreement, so that the child will realize that
    they have agreed to be easy-going because of the intercession of one parent,
    so that he will have another chance to set himself straight. But if one of
    them objects to the other in front of the child and speaks harshly and with
    bad manners, this is wrong and will have a bad effect on the children.  

    The fact that the responsibility in raising children is
    shared between the father and mother is indicated by the following: 

    1 –Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

    “O you who believe! Ward off yourselves and your families
    against a Fire (Hell) whose fuel is men and stones, over which are
    (appointed) angels stern (and) severe, who disobey not, (from executing) the
    Commands they receive from Allaah, but do that which they are commanded”

    [al-Tahreem 66:6]

    2 – It was narrated that ‘Abd-Allaah ibn ‘Umar (may Allaah be
    pleased with him) said: I heard the Messenger of Allaah (peace and
    blessings of Allaah be upon him) say: “Each of you is a shepherd and each of
    you is responsible for his flock. The ruler of the people is a shepherd and
    is responsible for his flock. A man is the shepherd of his household and is
    responsible for his flock. A woman is the shepherd of her husband’s house
    and children and is responsible for her flock. The slave is the shepherd of
    his master’s wealth and is responsible for it. Each of you is a shepherd and
    each of you is responsible for his flock.”  

    Narrated by al-Bukhaari (853) and Muslim (1829). 

    See also the answer to question no.
    10016 for more
    information. 

    Secondly: 

    The father’s responsibility for raising his child should be
    his first priority. The man has wisdom, experience and strength and he can
    speak with others to find the best means to raise his child. The salaf
    (early generations of Islam) were very keen to be directly involved in
    raising and disciplining their children. It is narrated that the ‘Abbaasi
    caliph al-Mansoor sent word to those of Banu Umayyah who were in prison to
    ask them: What is the hardest thing for you in this prison? They said: What
    we have missed out on of raising our children. 

    Some fathers think that raising their children and fulfilling
    this trust is achieved by giving them food, drink, clothing and shelter, but
    this is a false notion that is far removed from the laws of Allaah. 

    Shaykh Ibn Baaz (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:  

    Treating daughters and the like kindly means giving them an
    Islamic education, teaching them and raising them to follow the truth,
    striving to keep them chaste and keeping them away from that which Allaah
    has forbidden of wanton display and the like,  as also applies to raising
    sisters and male children, and other kinds of kind treatment, so that
    everyone will be raised to be obedient to Allaah and His Messenger and to
    keep away from that which Allaah has forbidden, and to do their duty towards
    Allaah, may He be glorified and exalted. Hence it is known that what is
    meant by kind treatment is not just providing food, drink and clothing,
    rather the meaning is more general than that and includes treating them
    kindly in both religious and worldly terms. 

    Majmoo’ Fataawa wa Maqaalaat al-Shaykh Ibn Baaz
    (4/377) 

    Thirdly: 

    The most important thing on which you should focus is
    teaching your children sound Islamic belief (‘aqeedah), the rulings of
    sharee’ah and good morals. This is more important than anything else, but it
    does not mean that they should not study other worldly sciences, so long
    as the study environment is acceptable and there is no mixing with girls or
    studying in Christian missionary schools or studying kaafir (non-Muslim)or corrupt
    material. 

    In Fatwa no. 4172, issued on 4/12/1401 AH by the Standing
    Committee for Academic Research and Issuing Fatwas in the Kingdom of Saudi
    Arabia, it says: 

    Fourthly: All Muslims must pay attention to teaching
    children, both male and female, true Islam with its beliefs, rulings, morals
    and etiquette. It is not permissible for educational programs to be devoid of that or to mix  Islamic teachings with any other false beliefs, views or
    opinions. 

    Fifthly: Every Muslim should realize that Allaah has
    appointed him as a shepherd and that Allaah will ask him about this trust
    that He has given to him. If he has fulfilled it in the best possible way
    and has been sincere, then praise be to Allaah, but if it is otherwise then
    he has no one to blame but himself. Allaah says (interpretation of the
    meaning):  “O you who believe! Ward off yourselves and your families
    against a Fire (Hell) whose fuel is men and stones” [al-Tahreem 966:6].
    And the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Each
    of you is a shepherd and each of you is responsible for his flock.” And he
    (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) also said: “There is no one
    whom Allaah appoints in charge of a flock and he dies being insincere
    towards his flock, but Allaah will forbid paradise to him.” End quote. 

    This responsibility should be shared with regard to teaching
    and guiding, each according to his abilities, and Allaah does not burden any
    soul beyond its scope. It is not permissible for the father to throw the
    burden of teaching the child on the mother’s shoulders and then become a
    mere spectator or become heedless about his child’s upbringing nor is it
    permissible for the mother to do the same thing. It is a shared
    responsibility to discipline and teach the child. If the father is working
    hard and the mother has no other job, then her share of the burden will be
    heavier, and vice versa. They should consult one another and discuss matters
    so that the mission will be fulfilled in the best possible way, but the
    basic principle with regard to discipline is that the one who is in charge
    and bears most responsibility is the father, not the mother.

    Shaykh Muhammad ibn Saalih al-‘Uthaymeen (may Allaah have
    mercy on him) said: 

    Sons and daughters have a shepherd to take care of them, when
    they are small, and the one who takes care of them and directs their affairs
    is their father or older brother. “The man is the shepherd of his household
    and is responsible for his flock.” Guardians and shepherds of households
    must direct their families to worship Allaah and to be keen to seek
    knowledge. They should encourage their children and say, “Come, my son, what have you memorized (of Qur’aan) today? Recite to me what you have
    memorized,” so that he will be encouraged and he will know that there is
    someone following up on him. The same may be said of daughters: encourage
    them and teach them to seek knowledge and act upon it. Be approachable, do
    not be like some fathers who are like planks of wood in their houses, they
    do not do anything. Each man is responsible for his family and flock. 

    Al-Liqa’ al-Shahri (67). 

    Fourthly: 

    We advise our sister not to go out of her house except with
    the permission and approval of her husband, not even to learn or teach
    Qur’aan, because obedience to one’s husband is obligatory and going out of
    the house without one’s husband’s permission is haram (impermissible). Putting pressure on
    him to make him let her go out is also not permissible. Do not open a door
    to evil by going out in this way. You can divide your time between teaching
    your son and learning yourself. Then convince your husband of this division
    of time. We think that he will appreciate this move on your part and it will
    be a means of working out both issues. 

    You should note that your husband is not sinning by preventing you from going out to halaqahs (circles of learning)for memorizing Qur’aan. It is a sin only if he prevents you from going out to pray in the mosque or to learn essential knowledge that you cannot learn at home. Allaah has made it easy for people to learn, a woman can read books or listen to tapes on all kinds of knowledge. There is nothing to prevent her from benefiting from modern means of learning. She will never get more by going out than she will get in
    her house, if she wants that. You could also hold a halaqah for sisters to
    memorize Qur’aan and seek knowledge in your own house, with no need to go
    out. 

    Whatever the case, do whatever you can to help take care of
    your son and teach him, treat your husband kindly and do what Allaah has
    enjoined upon you towards him, and you will see that bear fruits for
    yourself, your husband and your children, in sha Allaah. 

    Fifthly: 

    Our advice to the husband is also to treat his wife kindly.
    The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The best
    of you is the best of you to his wife.” Narrated by al-Tirmidhi (3895);
    classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Silsilat al-Ahaadeeth al-Saheehah
    (385). 

    If he thinks that her going out to the daar al-tahfeez is
    beneficial for her, and this benefit extends to her children and to the
    household as a whole, then why would he deprive her of that goodness? It is
    also affecting the relationship between him and her because she thinks that
    he is denying her something that would be beneficial for her. The life
    between them should be based on mutual understanding and shared
    responsibility, and keenness on the part of both for that which benefits the
    other. 

    You (the husband) should understand that your trying to make
    your wife happy and helping her in something that does not constitute
    disobedience towards Allaah will bring benefits to you and your children
    too. We ask Allaah to join you together in goodness and to help you both to
    do that which will benefit you in this world and in the Hereafter. 

    Sixthly: 

    There follow some comments by experts in the field explaining
    the shared role of the father and mother in raising and teaching children: a
    mother said, objecting: why does the husband accuse his wife of falling
    short and neglect if the son does not achieve high grades, when he himself
    is forgetting his duties that are essential with regard to this matter? 

    Dr. Muhammad Abu Daff, a professor of education in the
    Islamic University of Gaza said:  

    Both the father and the mother have to cooperate with regard
    to this matter. The father should make up for the shortcomings that the
    mother cannot because she is too busy or because she does not have
    sufficient knowledge of that particular subject. 

    Dr. Abu Daff emphasized the importance of fathers playing an
    effective role in following up on their children’s studies so that they will
    feel that it is important. 

    He attributed the reason why fathers try to evade
    responsibility to some negative ideas in their mind which says that the
    educational role is part of the mother’s job like any other job within the
    home, and he continued: This is a grievous error, because this educational
    responsibility needs the cooperation of both spouses. The father has to
    understand that his role is not only outside the house in order to provide
    food and the necessities of life, rather he has an important role to play in
    the house as well, which includes teaching the children. It is not to be
    taken lightly. 

    And he urged fathers to understand this point and to realize their responsibilities in this area so as to avoid conflicts that may have a bad effect on the family and the children. 

    Professor Usaamah al-Muzayni, a lecturer in the College of
    Education in the Islamic University, said: The father has to follow up on
    his children’s studies and make it an important priority. 

    He also said: Your wife is your life partner, and by taking
    the responsibility of teaching the children and following up on their schoolwork, you will have fulfilled your role in their shared
    responsibility. Otherwise ask yourself: What is my role? Remember that there is something more important that just providing material comforts to children, and that is to take an interest in their academic future.  

    And Allaah knows best.

  • Q n A : Her father is forcing her to attend gatherings in which there are innovations (bid’ah). How should she behave with him?


    Q
    Her father is forcing her to attend gatherings in which there are innovations (bid’ah). How should she behave with him?


    A

    Praise be to Allah.Firstly: 
    When reading this letter,
    although we feel sad about what is mentioned in it, we feel happy when we
    read of this sister’s common sense, intelligence and good following of the
    Sunnah, and that she is upset at the presence of bid’ah and she is afraid of
    falling into sin by disobeying her father who is telling her to go to the
    place where these innovations are practised. She is also thinking of leaving
    home but she is worried about her brother and sister and is afraid that she
    will be going against sharee’ah if she does not have a mahram with her. All
    of this, and she is a new Muslim. We ask Allaah by His names and attributes
    to make her and her siblings steadfast in adhering to the truth, and guide
    her family to follow the Sunnah. 
    Secondly: 
    We say to the sister who is
    asking this question: 

    1.Undoubtedly attending these
    gatherings with their innovations and sins is regarded as something that is
    contrary to sharee’ah. Those innovators are not content with merely
    mentioning the names of Allaah in song and dance, rather they had added
    other sins, namely failing to offer the prayers on time. This indicates that
    their claim that they are worshipping Allaah and drawing close to Him is
    false. If they were sincere in their desire to draw close to Him, they would
    worship in the ways that He has prescribed, and they would not miss the
    prayer, which is the greatest practical pillar of Islam. The texts of the
    Qur’aan and Sunnah issue stern warnings to those who do not offer the prayer
    on time and those who neglect the prayer.

    2.It is well known in sharee’ah
    that attending such gatherings incurs a great deal of sin and leads to many
    negative consequences, but there may be some interest to be served by
    delaying one’s refusal to go, because that delay may bring benefits and ward
    off harms.

    3.One of the interests served by
    your continuing to go now is taking care of your brother and sister and
    making sure that there is someone with them who can guide them and explain
    to them what is wrong with these actions. Another interest that will be
    served is making sure that your non-attendance will not lead to your father
    throwing you out of the house, which is something that would lead to many
    evils and bad consequences, the extent of which no one knows but Allaah,
    especially in the country where you live and even in other countries.

    4.We think that you could
    continue to go, but go as little as you can, and make up some excuses that
    will be acceptable to your father for not going, as well as trying hard to
    bring in wise people of Ahl al-Sunnah who can explain the truth to your
    father.

    5.A person such as you will not
    be deceived, in sha Allaah, by what these ignorant innovators are doing.
    Neverthless we advise you to protect your faith by doing acts of worship and
    increasing your knowledge by reading and studying the books of Ahl
    al-Sunnah. This will be beneficial for you. And ask trustworthy people of
    Ahl al-Sunnah about everything that is not clear to you, and remember that
    you have to keep advising and teaching and guiding your siblings. You should
    also try to influence some of the other girls who attend these gatherings
    and call them to the truth and the right path.

    6.If you go there, we advise you
    to avoid these gatherings as much as you can, by sitting with the women in a
    separate room far away from these innovations and deviations. Be the last to
    enter and the first to leave, as much as you can.

    7.We advise you to sit with your
    father and discuss with him what he is telling you to do, and to try to
    convince him about these innovators. You are at an age where you can do that
    with him. And you have enough knowledge to convince him in sha Allaah.

    8.Always pray for your father and
    advise him, and treat him well all the time, for “there is no kindness in a
    thing but it adorns it, and it is not taken away from a thing but it makes
    it defective” as the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon
    him) said.
    We ask Allaah to help you
    to do that which He loves and which pleases Him, and to make you steadfast
    in adhering to the truth, and to guide your father to the truth. 
    And Allaah is the Source of
    strength.

  • Q n A : She is sharp-tongued towards her husband and she is complaining that he is keeping away from her


    Q
    She is sharp-tongued towards her husband and she is complaining that he is keeping away from her


    A

    Praise be to Allah.
    A common mistake is for each spouse to tell the other
    everything about their previous lives before marriage, on the grounds that
    they should not leave anything of their past lives untold to their new loves
    and should be completely frank and open, so their relationship will have a
    strong foundation with nothing to affect it. 

    Real life has shown this idea to be a failure, because in
    most cases the spouses cannot stand this. If they put up with it at the
    beginning when the intensity of new love prevents an immediate reaction,
    then when love cools down things that were hidden begin to appear and affect
    their lives and make things difficult for them. Then problems begin to
    appear and the flames of jealousy begin to burn and the relationship begins
    to break down.  

    Whatever happened before you got married is over and belongs
    in the past, and no one among people should know of it no matter what his
    status or how close he is to you. If it was a sin and you have repented with
    all the conditions of repentance, it is between you and Allaah, may He be
    glorified and exalted, because repentance is what erases whatever sins come
    before it, not telling the husband. 

    One of the conditions of repentance is regretting what has
    happened, giving up the sin and resolving not to go back to it. And you
    should also do a lot of good deeds and pray for forgiveness, to make up for
    what you have missed. 

    And the believer is enjoined to conceal himself. 

    The Messenger (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon
    him) said: “Avoid these reprehensible things which Allaah has forbidden, but
    whoever has done any of them, let him conceal himself with the concealment
    of Allaah.” Narrated by al-Haakim and classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in
    Saheeh al-Jaami’ (149). 

    Al-Bukhaari (6069) narrated from Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be
    pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be
    upon him) said: “All of my ummah will be fine except those who commit sin
    openly. It is part of committing sin openly for a man to do something at
    night then in the morning, when Allaah has concealed him, he says: ‘O So and
    so, I did such and such last night,’ when all night his Lord had concealed
    him, but the next day he discloses what Allaah had concealed for him.” 

    What you have mentioned about your love for your husband,
    which is the basis for married life, is a good start and a solid foundation
    for solving the differences that exist between you, in sha Allaah. 

    Show your husband this love in real terms, by showing you
    care about him. Change your attitude towards him, change yourself, your
    appearance, your house, make a real change. 

    Perhaps he is bored of routine and the rhythm of daily life
    in which there is no change.  

    Try to attract his attention to you, your house and your
    daughter in all the ways that you can, but beware of complaining or showing
    that you are unhappy about some of his private affairs because that would be
    an obstacle to reaching an understanding between you. 

    Adopt the etiquette of Islam and beware of being
    hot-tempered, because the Messenger (peace and blessings of Allaah be
    upon him) advised against getting angry. 

    Al-Bukhaari (6116) narrated from Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be
    pleased with him) that a man said to the Prophet (peace and blessings
    of Allaah be upon him): Advise me. He said: “Do not get angry.” He repeated
    it several times, saying: “Do not get angry.” 

    We are also enjoined to guard our tongues. The Prophet
    (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said when he was advising
    Mu’aadh (may Allaah be pleased with him): “Restrain this,” i.e., your
    tongue. I said: O Messenger of Allaah, will we be called to account for what
    we say? He said: “May your mother be bereft of you, O Mu’aadh! Will people
    be thrown in Hell on their faces or their noses for anything other than the
    harvest of their tongues?” Narrated by al-Tirmidhi; classed as saheeh by
    al-Albaani in Silsilat al-Ahaadeeth al-Saheehah (772). 

    What you have mentioned about your being hot-tempered and
    sharp-tongued are things that lead to destruction and destroy the basis of
    family life. 

    Perhaps these are the reason why your husband has turned away
    from you. Perhaps he finds with this family and other people the respect and
    good manners that he does not find with you, and that has made him resort to
    what he is doing. 

    So try to change the way you behave and control yourself.
    Turn to Allaah and pray that you and he be guided and develop a good
    attitude and proper etiquette, for Allaah is Ever-Near, Most Responsive. 

    I ask Allaah, may He be glorified and exalted, to bring you
    together and may He help us and you to do that which He loves and which
    pleases Him. 
    And Allaah knows
    best.