Tag: Q n A

Praise be to Allah.If you are not causing
his anger then there is no blame on you. But at the same time you are
obliged to treat him kindly and honour him. Allaah has enjoined honouring
one’s parents even if they believe in shirk (associating others in worship
with Allaah), so how about those whose sin is less than that?
With regard to your
moving out, if he agrees to that and it will be better for him, then
there is nothing wrong with it. Otherwise, strive to be patient in putting
up with what he does to you, for that will not be lost, and you will
meet it before Allaah (i.e., it will count in your favour on the Day
of Resurrection).
If a man who is employed
can put up with bad treatment from a boss, and bears his anger and insults
with patience for the sake of earning a living and keeping his job,
then you should certainly be able to put up with your father’s bad treatment
and insults for the sake of pleasing Allaah and earning His reward.
If he dies after you have been patient with him, you will not regret
it, but if he dies when you are opposing him and shunning him, you might
blame yourself and say, “If only I had been patient, if only I had put
up with him…” I hope that you will convey my salaams to your father
and tell him that whoever strives against his own nafs (self) and does
not get angry will attain Paradise, as the Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) told us. Tell him that destroying
furniture is a waste of money and is something which is haraam. According
to a saheeh hadeeth, the Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) forbade us to waste money.
And tell him that the Prophet (peace
and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to restrain his tongue, so
let him follow his example, as Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“Indeed
in the Messenger of Allaah (Muhammad) you have a good example to follow”

[al-Ahzaab
33:21]
If your father gets
angry, do not try to advise him when he is in the heat of his anger,
for he might persist and get carried away. Offer him advice when his
anger has ceased and he has calmed down, for then he will be more likely
to respond. Make the person with whom your father isangry go away quietly
so as not to make matters worse. There is nothing wrong with you defending
your mother, in fact this is required of you, but not by means of you
physically fighting with your father. Rather you should take your mother
quietly away from the scene after reminding your father of Allaah and
advising him to seek refuge with Allaah from the Shaytaan. May Allaah
help you and may He help us and you to do all that is good.

Praise be to Allah.Allaah says (interpretation
of the meanings)
“And
no moving (living) creature is there on earth but its provision is due
from Allaah” [Hood
11:6]
 “And
so many a moving (living) creature carries not its own provision! Allaah
provides for it and for you. And He is the All‑Hearer, the All‑Knower”
[al-‘Ankaboot
29:60]
 “Verily,
Allaah is the All‑Provider, Owner of Power, the Most Strong” [al-Dhaariyaat
51:58]
 “so
seek your provision from Allaah (Alone), and worship Him (Alone), and
be grateful to Him”
[al-‘Ankaboot
29:17]
 Allaah condemned the people of the Jaahiliyyah
who killed their children for fear of poverty, and He forbade doing
what they did. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And
kill not your children for fear of poverty. We shall provide for them
as well as for you. Surely, the killing of them is a great sin” [al-Israa’
17:31]
 Allaah has commanded His slaves to put
their trust in Him in all their affairs, and He is Sufficient for those
who put their trust in Him. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

 “and
put your trust in Allaah if you are believers indeed” [al-Maa’idah 5:23]

 “And
whosoever puts his trust in Allaah, then He will suffice him” [al-Talaaq
65:3].
 So you have to put your trust in your
Lord and believe that He will provide for you and your children. Do
not let the fear of poverty prevent you from seeking to have children,
for Allaah has guaranteed provision for all. By not wanting children
for fear of poverty, you are imitating the people of the Jaahiliyyah.
 You should also note that taking out
loans with interest is ribaa (usury), for which Allaah issues the warning
of a painful torment. It is one of the seven sins which condemn a person
to Hell. The Prophet (peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Avoid the seven sins  which
condemn a person to Hell…[which include] consuming ribaa.” And he
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Allaah has cursed
the one who consumes ribaa, the one who pays it…” Consumption of ribaa
is one of the greatest causes of poverty and loss of blessings, as Allaah
says (interpretation of the meaning):
 “Allaah
will destroy Ribaa and will give increase for Sadaqaat (deeds of charity,
alms)” [al-Baqarah 2:276]
 I think that you do
not know the ruling on interest-based loans. So seeks Allaah’s forgiveness
for what is in the past, and do not do it again. Wait for your Lord
to grant you a way out and seek provision from Him. Put your trust in
Him for Allaah loves those who put their trust in Him.

Praise be to Allah.Note
that is is impossible for things to stay the same forever. Glory be
to the One Who changes His slaves’ circumstances and directs them as
He wills. Our advice to you concerning this problem is first to think
of marrying the relative whom your father has suggested that you marry,
regardless of the   previous knowledge to which you refer. 
If she more or less has the qualities that you want in a righteous wife
and she does not have any bad quality that you think you could not put
up with, then marry her. Perhaps Allaah will decree much good for you
in that, and your honouring your father will be the cause of happiness
in your marriage.
 
But if there is an obvious fault that means that you could  not
marry her, then explain that to your father and try to convince him
that forcing a man to choose a wife whom he does not like could cause
the marriage to fail and could also cause harm to that girl. Advise
your brothers to try to honour your father and keep in touch with him
so as to strengthen the family ties and put right what has changed.
And Allaah is the Source of strength.

Praise be to Allah.We put this question to Shaykh Muhammad ibn Saalih al-‘Uthaymeen, may
Allaah preserve him, who replied:

So long as this is the intention, then it is not permissible to do this,
because it reflects a lack of trust in Allaah with regard to the hadeeth
of the Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) who said
“Marry the one who is loving and fertile…”

But if the birth control has to do with the condition of the woman –
because she cannot cope with repeated pregnancies – this may be
permissible, but it is better not to do it.

Question: Do you mean that it is more important to pay attention to the
woman’s condition than to the corrupt nature of society?

Answer: Of course, because there is no certainty that
one’s children will be corrupt; they may be righteous people who will
bring benefits to society. And Allaah knows best.

Praise be to Allah.If you are asking about the names of books on the field of Islamic psychology, the answer is that unfortunately there are still very few modern books in this field. There is a need for people who have studied the Qur’aan and Sunnah, and who have an insight into and practical experience of human psychology, as well as knowledge of the experience and writings of non-Muslims in this field, to write about this subject properly and produce useful work in this field. In any case, there are a few modern books in this field, which include the following:
‘Ilm al-Nafs al-Da’wi (The Psychology of Da’wah) by ‘Abd al-‘Azeez Muhammad al-Naghmeeshi
Madkhil ila al-Tarbiyah al-Islamiyah (Introduction to Islamic Education) by ‘Abd al-Rahmaan al-Yaami
Usas al-Sihhah al-Nafsiyyah li’l-Tifl al-Muslim (Principles of Psychological Health of the Muslim Child) by Maalik Badri
Al-Tafakkur min al-Mushaahadah ila’l-Shuhood: Diraasat Nafsiyah Islamiyah (From Seeing to Bearing Witness: A Study in Islamic Psychology) by Maalik Badri
‘Ilm al-Nafs al-Ta’leemi (Educational Psychology) by Muhammad Khaleefah Barakaat
Araa’ Ibn al-Qayyim al-Tarbawiyah (The Educational Thought of Ibn al-Qayyim) by Hasan ‘Ali Hasan al-Hijaaji
Diraasaat fi’l-Nafs al-Insaaniyah (Studies in Human Psychology) by Muhammad Qutb
Manhaj al-Tarbiyah al-Islamiyah (Methodology of Islamic Education) (2 vols.) by Muhammad Qutb
‘Ilm al-Nafs fi Hayaatinaa al-Yawmiyah (Everyday Psychology) by Muhammad ‘Uthmaan Najaati
‘Ilm al-Nafs al-Takweeni (Formative Psychology) by ‘Abd al-Hameed Muhammad al-Haashimi
Al-Muraahiqoon (Teenagers) by ‘Abd al-‘Azeez Muhammad al-Naghmeeshi
Usool ‘Ilm al-Nafs al-‘Aam (Principles of General Psychology) by ‘Abd al-Hameed Muhammad al-Haashimi
The first reference given will give you more details about these references, in sha Allaah.
We ask Allaah to give you help and strength.

Praise be to Allah.We asked Shaykh ‘Abd-Allaah ibn ‘Abd al-Rahmaan al-Jibreen the following question:
 A person has breasts which resemble a woman’s breasts. Is it permissible for him to have surgery to reduce them?
 He (may Allaah preserve him) replied as follows:
 You must try to lose weight, then the fat around the breast will be reduced.
 If what you have is not a result of fat (and it is causing you trouble), and you can do an operation to reduce it without any harm involved, that will be OK.

Praise be to Allah.
She should praise Allaah for the blessings of guidance and be
steadfast in adhering to the truth. She should do a lot of acts of worship
and obedience. She should try her utmost not to be alone with her father in
the house. She does not have to tell her husband about what happened, if she
gets married. She should ask Allaah to conceal it and to grant her a way
out.

 Her father is a criminal who should be advised, rebuked and
deterred.

 We ask Allaah to keep us all safe and sound.

Praise be to Allah.The point of reference for Islamic rulings must be the texts of the Quran and Sunnah, not one’s own opinion, mood, desire or ideas about what is nice. Concerning this very issue many reports have been narrated which strictly forbid this (women wearing perfume when they go out). These reports include saheeh ahaadeeth in which the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) forbade women to wear perfume when they go out of their houses:

Abu Moosa al-Ash’ari said: the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “Any woman who puts on perfume then passes by people so that they can smell her fragrance, is an adulteress.”

Zaynab al-Thaqafiyyah reported that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “If any one of you (women) goes out to the mosque, let her not touch any perfume.”

Abu Hurayrah said: the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “Any woman who has scented herself with bakhoor (incense), let her not attend ‘Ishaa’ prayers with us.”

Moosa ibn Yassaar said that a woman passed by Abu Hurayrah and her scent was overpowering. He said, “O female slave of al-Jabbaar, are you going to the mosque?” She said, “Yes,” He said, “And have you put on perfume because of that?” She said, “Yes.” He said, “Go back and wash yourself, for I heard the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) say: ‘If a woman comes out to the mosque and her fragrance is overpowering, Allah will not accept any prayer from her until she goes home and washes herself.’”

The reason for this prohibition is quite clear, which is that women’s fragrance may cause undue provocation of desires. The scholars also included other things under this heading of things to be avoided by women who want to go to the mosque, such as beautiful clothes, jewellery that can be seen, excessive adornments and mingling with men. See Fath al-Baari, 2/279.
Ibn Daqeeq al-‘Eed said:
This indicates that it is forbidden for a woman who wants to go to the mosque to wear perfume, because this causes provocation of men’s desires. This was reported by al-Manaawi in Fayd al-Qadeer, in the commentary on the first hadeeth of Abu Hurayrah quoted above.
Having examined all this saheeh evidence, there can be no room for debate or argument. Muslim women have to understand the seriousness of the issue and the sin involved in going against this shar’i ruling. They should remember that they are going out to seek reward, not to fall into sin. We ask Allah to keep us safe and sound.
By the way, we recently read that biologists have discovered a sexual gland in the nose, i.e., there is a direct connection between the sense of smell and the provocation of desire. If this is true, then it is one of the signs that prove even to the kuffaar how precise are the rulings of this sharee’ah which came to preserve chastity and to block the ways that lead to immorality.

Praise be to Allah.
When a Muslim is able to do Hajj, he should hasten to do it,
and it is not permissible for him to delay it for no reason, because the
Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Hasten to do
Hajj – i.e., the obligatory Hajj – for none of you knows what will happen to
him.” (Narrated by Ahmad, 2721; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in
al-Irwa’, 990). And he (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)
said: “Whoever wants to do Hajj, let him hasten to do so.” (Classed as hasan
by al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi Dawood, 1524). 
What you have mentioned
about your brother’s problems is not a reason for delaying Hajj, because
Hajj will not prevent him from dealing with this problem, since it is within
his power to try to solve this problem and finish with it before he goes for
Hajj. His Hajj may be the means of his problem being solved, because of the
help from Allaah it may bring and the blessing (barakah) of Hajj and
obedience to Allaah. It may be that he will make du’aa’ during his Hajj with
regard to this matter, and Allaah will answer and relieve him of this
distress. 

Moreover, our advice to your brother is that he should not
hasten to divorce his wife, rather he should take his time and not rush into
anything. For divorce is something that Allaah dislikes. 

If the problem between him and his wife is because of
negligence on her part regarding one of the duties towards Allaah, such as
if she neglects to pray or is not chaste, etc, then he has to warn her and
remind her about Allaah, and call her to Allaah, and try to guide her to
obey Allaah. If she persists in not responding to him, then in that case
there is nothing to be gained by keeping her. 

But if the problem between them is of the common type of
problems between spouses, and has to do with differences of opinion
concerning day to day life and household matters, etc., then he has to be
patient and treat her kindly, and try hard to correct what he thinks is
inappropriate. For Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“and live with them honourably. If you dislike them, it
may be that you dislike a thing and Allaah brings through it a great deal of
good”

[al-Nisa’ 4:19]
The husband has to live
with his wife honourably and keep her company in a good way, refraining from
harming her, and treating her kindly. Living with her honourably also means
putting up with any annoyance that his wife may cause him, and he should
remember that he will have a great reward for that from Allaah. 

A man may dislike his wife, but he keeps her out of obedience
to Allaah and treats her kindly, and then Allaah brings about a great deal
of good from that. He may be blessed with righteous children from her who
will benefit him in this world and in the Hereafter; or his dislike may be
taken away and replaced with love, as often happens. 

The Messenger (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon
him) said: “No believing man should hate a believing woman; if he dislikes
one of her characteristics he will be pleased with another.” (Narrated by
Muslim, 1469). What this means is that it is not appropriate for a believing
man to hate a believing woman, because even if he finds some bad
characteristic in her for which he may dislike her, he will find another,
praiseworthy, characteristic for which he will love her, such as her being
chaste or kind or obedient, or some other good characteristic. The same is
true of all people, each person has some good attributes and some bad
attributes. As the poet said: 

“Who is there that is pleasing in all his characteristics? It
is enough honour for a man’s faults to be few enough to count.” 

The wise man is the one who weighs up both the good
characteristics and the bad. 

Your brother should make a lot of du’aa’ in the places and at
the times when du’aa’ is especially encouraged, during Hajj and otherwise,
asking that Allaah may reconcile him with his wife and create love between
their hearts. 
And Allaah knows best. May Allaah bestow
blessings and peace upon our Prophet Muhammad.

Praise be to Allah.Basically the righteous wife should be obedient to her Lord and not
disobedient to her husband. There is no better deed than a woman obeying her husband as
Allaah has commanded, at the time when he is disobeying Him with regard to her.
The husband has the right to stop his wife from visiting her family
– if he thinks that doing so will serve some shar’i purpose, for example, if she
is rebellious towards him every time she comes back from visiting them. But if he is doing
them wrong and they are not disobedient towards Allaah and they do not try to turn his
wife against him, then the husband is a sinner if he cuts their daughter off from them.
She also has to obey him with regard to not going out.
The husband has the right to relocate his family wherever he thinks will
be good for them, and his wife does not have the right to disobey him with regard to that,
unless it was made a condition in the marriage contract that he would not make her move.
If this condition was not stipulated, then she has no right to object.
Good treatment of wives is a duty enjoined upon husbands by Allaah, when
He said (interpretation of the meaning): “… and live with them
honourably…” [al-Nisa’ 4:19]. The husband does not have the right to
treat his wife badly. If he sees her doing something that goes against the sharee’ah,
he should follow the steps laid down by sharee’ah to put the matter right. Firstly,
he should exhort her in a good manner, and if that does not work, he should adopt the
method of forsaking her (i.e., not having marital relations with her). If that does not
work, then he may strike her, in a manner that does not cause pain or injury.
If the husband does treat his wife badly, that does not mean that she
should disobey him or go against what Allaah has commanded her to do with regard to him.
We advise the sister to do the following:
strive hard to do things that will please her husband such as speaking
nicely and treating him well.

To deal with him not on the basis that she is his opponent and his equal
with regard to commanding and forbidding, but on the basis that she is obedient to him and
is at his beck and call, because this will make a decent man feel shy, and will make
matters easier for her and help her to convince him. But he is the one who is in charge of
her (he is qawwaam over her), not the other way round.

She should offer lots of du’aa’ for her husband to be reformed
and for things to be made easy for her. She should put things right between herself and
her Lord so that Allaah will put things right between her and other people.

There is nothing wrong with asking someone whose religious commitment
she trusts and who is wise to intervene between her and her husband, to convince him to
change his mind about moving, if she thinks that this would have a bad effect on her
religious commitment or that it would make matters between them worse. Otherwise, she
should accept what Allaah has decreed for her.

We ask Allaah to make things easy for her and to choose for her whatever
is better for her spiritual and worldly interests.

And Allaah knows best.