Tag: Q n A

Praise be to Allah.Can Muslims seek medical treatment?
There is nothing wrong with treating the diseases that befall a person, and this is not forbidden. But that is subject to the condition that the treatment does not cause side effects which are worse than the problem itself. 
Does ruqyah cure anxiety?
We advise the one who is sick – whether that is spiritual (mental) illness such as anxiety and depression , or physical illness such as various kinds of pain – to hasten first of all to treat the problem with ruqyah as prescribed in Shari`ah. This means verses and hadiths which are recommended in Shari`ah and in which the texts state there is healing for diseases. 
Herbal treatment for anxiety 
Then we advise treating it with natural materials which Allah has created, such as honey and plants, for Allah has created special properties in them which may treat many kinds of diseases, and at the same time they do not have any side effects on the one who takes them. 
How to treat anxiety in Islam
We think that you should not take artificial chemical remedies for anxiety . For this disease a person needs a spiritual remedy rather than a chemical one. 

So he needs to increase his faith and his trust in his Lord; he needs to make more du`a and pray more. If he does that, his anxiety will be removed. 
Seeking to relax by means of doing acts of worship has a great effect on the soul, dispelling many kinds of psychological disease. 

Hence we do not see any benefit in going to a psychologist whose beliefs are corrupt, let alone one who is a non-Muslim. The more the doctor knows about Allah and His religion, the better advice he will give to his patient.  
Allah says (interpretation of the meaning): 
“Whoever works righteousness — whether male or female — while he (or she) is a true believer (of Islamic Monotheism) verily, to him We will give a good life (in this world with respect, contentment and lawful provision), and We shall pay them certainly a reward in proportion to the best of what they used to do (i.e. Paradise in the Hereafter)” [Al-Nahl 16:97]
Suh’ayb said: the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “How wonderful is the affair of the believer, for all his affairs are good, and this applies to no one except the believer. If something good happens to him, he gives thanks, and that is good for him, and if something bad happens to him, he bears it with patience, and that is good for him.” (Narrated by Muslim, 2999) 

This world should not be the main concern of the Muslim. Worry about his provision should not find any room in his heart or mind, lest that make his sickness and his anxiety worse. 

Anas (may Allah be pleased with him) said: The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “Whoever is mainly concerned about the Hereafter, Allah will make him feel independent of others and will make him focused and content, and his worldly affairs will fall into place. But whoever is mainly concerned with this world, Allah will make him feel in constant need of others and will make him distracted and unfocused, and he will get nothing of this world except what is decreed for him.” (Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 2389; classed as sahih by Shaykh al-Albani in Sahih al-Jami’, 6510) 
Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allah have mercy on him) said: 
“When a person spends his entire day with no other concern but Allah Alone, Allah, may He be glorified, will take care of all his needs and take care of all that is worrying him; He will empty his heart so that it will be filled only with love for Him, free his tongue so that it will speak only in remembrance of Him (dhikr) and cause all his faculties to work only in obedience to Him. But if a person spends his entire day with no other concern but this world, Allah will make him bear its distress, anxiety and pain; He will leave him to sort himself out, and cause his heart to be distracted from the love of Allah towards the love of some created being, cause his tongue to speak only in remembering people instead of remembering Allah, and cause him to use his talents and energy in obeying and serving them. So he will strive hard, labouring like some work-animal, to serve something other than Allah… Everyone who turns away from being a true slave of Allah and obeying Him and loving Him will be burdened with servitude, love and obedience to some created being. Allah says (interpretation of the meaning): ‘And whosoever turns away (blinds himself) from the remembrance of the Most Beneficent (Allah), We appoint for him a shaytan (devil) to be a qarin (intimate companion) to him.’ [Al-Zukhruf 43:36].” (Al-Fawaid, p. 159)
Can a believer become mentally ill?
Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymin (may Allah have mercy on him) was asked:
Can a believer become mentally ill? What is the treatment for that according to Shari`ah? Please note that modern medicine treats these illnesses with modern medicines only.
He replied:
“Undoubtedly a person may suffer from psychological or mental diseases, such as anxiety about the future and regret for the past. Psychological diseases affect the body more than physical diseases affect it. Treating these diseases by means of the things prescribed in Shari`ah – i.e., ruqyah – is more effective than treating them with physical medicines, as is well known.

One of the means of treating them is mentioned in the sahih hadith from Ibn Mas’ud (may Allah be pleased with him): “There is no-one who is afflicted by distress and grief, and says: ‘Allahumma inni ‘abduka ibn ‘abdika ibn amatika nasyati bi yadika, madin fiyya hukmuka, ‘adlun fiyya qadauka. As-aluka bi kulli ismin huwa laka sammayta bihi nafsaka aw anzaltahu fi kitabika aw ‘allamtahu ahadan min khalqika aw istatharta bihi fi ‘ilm il-ghayb ‘indaka an taj’al al-Qurana rabi’a qalbi wa nura sadri wa jala-a huzni wa dhahaba hammi (O Allah, I am Your slave, son of Your slave, son of Your maidservant; my forelock is in Your hand, Your command over me is forever executed and Your decree over me is just. I ask You by every name belonging to You which You have named Yourself with, or revealed in Your Book, or You taught to any of Your creation, or You have preserved in the knowledge of the Unseen with You, that You make the Quran the life of my heart and the light of my breast, and a departure for my sorrow and a release for my anxiety),’ but Allah will take away his distress and grief, and replace it with joy.” This is one of the remedies prescribed in Shari`ah.
One can also say “La ilaha illa Anta, subhaanaka inni kuntu min al-zalimin (none has the right to be worshipped but You (O Allah), Glorified (and Exalted) be You [Above all that (evil) they associate with You]! Truly, I have been of the wrongdoers)” [Al-Anbiya 21:87 – interpretation of the meaning] 

Whoever wants to know more than that should refer to what the scholars have written about dhikr, such as al-Wabil al-Sayyib by Ibn al-Qayyim; al-Kalim al-Tayyib by Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Tayimiyah; al-Adhkar by al-Nawawi; Zad al-Ma’ad by Ibn al-Qayyim. 
But because people’s faith is weak nowadays, they are less receptive to the remedies prescribed in Shari`ah. So people nowadays have started to rely on physical medicines more than on the remedies prescribed in Shari`ah. But when a person’s faith is strong, the remedies prescribed in Shari`ah are completely effective, and may work faster than physical medicine. 
We all know about the story of the man whom the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) sent on a campaign and he camped near some Arab people, but those people near whom he camped showed him no hospitality at all. Allah willed that their leader should be stung by a scorpion, and they said to one another, “Go to those people who have camped nearby, perhaps you will find a raqi (one who can recite ruqyah) with them.” The Companions said to them, “We will not recite ruqyah for your leader unless you give us such and such a number of sheep.” They said, “Fine.” So one of the Companions went and recited ruqyah for the one who had been stung. He recited Surat al-Fatihah only, and the one who had been stung got up as if released from a chain. 
Reciting al-Fatihah had such an effect on this man because it came from a heart that was filled with faith. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) asked him, “How did you come to know that it (Surat al-Fatihah) could be recited as a ruqyah?” 
But in these times when religious commitment and faith have become weak, people have started to rely on external physical medicines, and they are suffering as a result. 
But on the other hand there are charlatans who play with people’s minds; they are clever and are able to trick people, claiming that they are good reciters of ruqyah when in fact they are consuming people’s wealth unlawfully. So people are caught between two extremes; one extreme is those who think that ruqyah has no effect at all, and the other is those tricksters who play with people’s minds by reciting false and deceitful readings. And there are some who are moderate in their approach to this issue.  (Fatawa Islamiyyah, 4/465, 466)
We ask Allah to protect us and you from the evils of anxiety and worry, and to open our hearts to faith, guidance and tranquility.
And Allah knows best.

Praise be to Allah.
Firstly: 

Your father made a grave mistake when he left the house and
went back to his own country. Allaah has entrusted him with something and he
has neglected that trust. What he should have done was to stay with his
children in order to discipline them, look after them and take care of their
affairs. Perhaps it is your father’s leaving that made your sisters’
behaviour even worse. 

So we advise you, first of all, to convince your father, as a
matter of necessity, to come back to his wife and children, so that he can
take care of them and discipline them, or for all of them to join him in
Pakistan – even if that is done by force or by trickery – and perhaps that
would be better, because your staying in that land where there is kufr,
evildoing and moral laxity is what is affecting your sisters’ attitude and
behaviour. 

Secondly: 

Your mother, likewise, has to fear Allaah with regard to her
daughters and not give them free rein. Now she has taken on a heavy burden
of responsibility, especially since your father has left. So she should not
take things lightly with regard to her daughters. Your mother has to realize
the seriousness of what your sisters are doing and the damage their actions
may do to all of you in this world, and the sin which will be upon them in
the Hereafter and upon those who approved of their actions or who allowed
them to do that and made it easy for them to do evil actions. 

Thirdly: 

You have to be patient and to give thought to every action
before you do it. Staying with them is not entirely good, and leaving them
is not entirely good. Rather the matter depends on the effects of your
staying and the effects of your leaving. If your staying in the home will
affect your religious commitment and your sanity, and make you fall into
sin, then we advise you to leave. If your leaving will make their behaviour
worse and your staying will not affect your religious commitment and sanity,
then it is haraam for you to leave, because your leaving may make the sin
worse, which would mean that you were neglecting your responsibility and
being careless about that which has been entrusted to you. 

Fourthly: 

Perhaps this is a test from Allaah for you, to expiate for
your bad deeds and to raise you in status, not a punishment. Hence we advice
you to be patient, not to make any hasty decisions, to make du’aa’ and to
beseech your Lord to guide your sisters to be good and chaste. We advise you
to look for means of guiding them such as getting them married, looking for
good sisters for them to mix with, moving house, and so on. Perhaps when
Allaah sees that you are sincere, He will help you and will guide your
sisters and your mother, and will unite the family in religious commitment
and goodness. For He is able to do that and He is the Guide to the Straight
Path. 

We will tell you the following story, from which you may
learn a lesson: 

It was narrated that Abu Hurayrah said: I used to call my
mother to Islam when she was a mushrikah. I called her one day and she said
something about the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah
be upon him) that I did not like to hear. So I went to the Messenger of
Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) weeping, and said,
“O Messenger of Allaah, I have been calling my mother to Islam, but she
refuses. I called her today and she said something about you that I did not
like to hear. Pray to Allaah to guide the mother of Abu Hurayrah.” The
Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said,
“O Allaah, guide the mother of Abu Hurayrah.” I went out feeling optimistic
because of the du’aa’ of the Prophet of Allaah (peace and blessings of
Allaah be upon him). When I came home and reached the door, I saw that it
was slightly ajar. My mother heard my footsteps and said, “Stay where you
are, O Abu Hurayrah!” and I could hear the trickling of water. She took a
bath and got dressed, and put on her headcover, then she opened the door and
said, “O Abu Hurayrah, I bear witness that there is no god except Allaah,
and I bear witness that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger!” I went back to
the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him),
and I came to him weeping with joy. I said, “O Messenger of Allaah, rejoice,
for Allaah has answered your prayer and guided the mother of Abu Hurayrah.”
So he praised Allaah and said good words. I said, “O Messenger of Allaah,
pray to Allaah to make my mother and me beloved to His believing slaves, and
to make them beloved to us.” The Messenger of Allaah (peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, “O Allaah, make this slave of Yours –
meaning Abu Hurayrah – and his mother beloved to Your believing slaves, and
make the believers beloved to them.” So there are no believing people who
hear of me even though they do not see me, but they love me.

 Narrated by Muslim, 2491

 And Allaah knows best.

Praise be to Allah.Firstly: 
Studying in a mixed environment is haram, and it causes a great deal of mischief in society. What the sister says in her question is only a small part of the results of forbidden mixing. 
We advise everyone who wants to protect himself and not to fall into that which Allah has forbidden to keep away from these mixed places as much as possible, whether that is for study or for work, because of the things involved that go against sharee’ah and because of the evils to which they may lead. 
Secondly: 
What the questioner has mentioned about her friend is very unfortunate; we ask Allah to guide her and bring her back to the right path. Your duties towards her are to offer sincere advice and guidance, and to remind her of Allah and that death is real, and that this world does not last. 
Allah has created Paradise for those who obey Him, and He has created Hell for those who disobey Him. If she responds to the advice then praise be to Allah. If she insists on committing sin and following the path of the Shaytaan, then Allah says (interpretation of the meaning): 
“The duty of the Messenger [i.e. Our Messenger Muhammad whom We have sent to you, (O mankind)] is nothing but to convey (the Message)”
[al-Maa’idah 5:99] 
“And remind (by preaching the Qur’aan, O Muhammad), for verily, the reminding profits the believers”
[al-Dhaariyaat 51:55] 
“So remind them (O Muhammad) — you are only one who reminds.
22. You are not a dictator over them”
[al-Ghaashiyah 88:21-22] 
“O you who believe! Take care of your ownselves. If you follow the (right) guidance [and enjoin what is right (Islamic Monotheism and all that Islam orders one to do) and forbid what is wrong (polytheism, disbelief and all that Islam has forbidden)] no hurt can come to you from those who are in error”
[al-Maa’idah 5:105]
Try to look for righteous friends who can help you to adhere to the truth. Beware of sitting with bad companions, for Allah says (interpretation of the meaning): 
“And it has already been revealed to you in the Book (this Qur’aan) that when you hear the Verses of Allah being denied and mocked at, then sit not with them, until they engage in a talk other than that; (but if you stayed with them) certainly in that case you would be like them. Surely, Allah will collect the hypocrites and disbelievers all together in Hell”
[al-Nisa’ 4:140]
And Allah is the Source of strength.

Praise be to Allah.
There is nothing wrong with you happening to mention to your
mother whilst you are talking to her that your husband is thinking of taking
a second wife, and telling her that he has valid reasons for doing so, such
as not having any children from you, or that he is not satisfied with one
wife, and so on. That will be like an introduction for her if she knows. But
do not tell her about the matter now, less that open the door to problems
for you that you can do without. If she finds out about that in the future,
then you can explain to her, one way or another, that Islam is the religion
of justice and does not approve of injustice on anyone’s part, and that in a
plural marriage there are many great benefits which the countries which
claim to be civilized cannot attain. (See question no.
12528). Even if she is not convinced at first, she will become
convinced as the days and years go by. But you should not express too many
objections about this matter in front of her, because by doing so you will
provoke her to criticize Islam. Rather you have to show her that you accept
this and approve of it, and show her that  it is not affecting your
relationship with your husband.

Praise be to Allah.Allaah has obliged sons to honour their
parents and He has forbidden them to disobey them. We have discussed some of their (parents’) rights in the answer to question no.
5053. 
What you have said about your brother’s
treatment of your parents is an evil action and is a major sin. You have to advise him and remind him of what Allaah has enjoined upon him towards
his parents and relatives. 
It is not permissible for you to accuse
others of practicing witchcraft against your brother. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) warned us against suspicion,
and told us that it is the falsest of speech. It was narrated from Abu Hurayrah that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)
said: “Beware of suspicion, because suspicion is the falsest of speech; do not spy on one another, do not pry into others’ affairs, do not hate
one another; be brothers.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 4849; Muslim, 2563. 
So you have to look for the reasons why your
brother is doing this to you. There may be causes that you can put a stop to and help him to overcome. 
If there is no apparent reason, there is
nothing wrong with asking someone whose religious commitment and knowledge you trust to recite ruqyah for him and find out what is going on. If he
finds out that he has been bewitched, then you have to treat him with remedies that will remove that sihr (magic), remedies that are proven in the
Qur’aan and Sunnah. 
Whatever the case, such a situation requires
deliberation and wisdom in your dealing with him. Whether he is disobeying his Lord by treating his parents badly or he has been bewitched, he is
sick, and the sick person needs to be treated kindly in order to find the most suitable remedy for his condition.  
We ask Allaah to set the affairs of all the
Muslims straight. 
And Allaah is the Source of strength.

Praise be to Allah.Sexual desire is something that has been created in mankind and it cannot be got rid of . Getting rid of it is not something that is required of the Muslim; rather what is required of him is to refrain from using it in forbidden ways, and to use it in the ways that Allah has permitted. 
The problem of sexual desire in a young woman may be solved by taking two steps. 
1.      The first step is to reduce and weaken the things that may provoke desire in a person. This may be achieved in a number of ways, including the following: 
·         Lowering the gaze and refraining from looking at that which Allah has forbidden. Allah says (interpretation of the meaning): 
“And tell the believing women to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts).” [An-Nur 24:31]
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “Do not follow one glance with another, for the first [unintentional one] is pardoned but not the second.” There are many sources of prohibited looking, such as looking directly at young men and thinking about their attractive looks, or looking at pictures in magazines and movies. 
·         Avoiding reading stories and novels which focus on the sexual aspect , and avoiding reading internet websites which deal with such topics. 
·         Keeping away from bad company. 
·         Avoiding thinking about desire as much as possible. Thinking in and of itself is not prohibited, but if one thinks about it for too long, that may lead a person to prohibited actions. 
·         Spending one’s time in useful pursuits, because spare time may lead one to fall into prohibited things. 
·         Avoiding as much as possible going to public places where young men and women mix . 
·         If a girl is tested with studying in a mixed environment , and cannot find any alternative, she has to remain modest, serious and dignified, and should avoid sitting with young men and speaking to them as much as possible. She should restrict her relationships to friendships with righteous female classmates. 
2.                  The second step is to strengthen the factors that will prevent one acting in accordance with one’s desires. This is achieved in a number of ways, including the following: 
·         Strengthening the faith in one’s heart and strengthening one’s relationship with Allah. This may be achieved by remembering Allah a great deal, reading the Quran, thinking of the Names and Attributes of Allah, and doing a lot of Sunnah prayers. Belief strengthens the heart and soul, and it helps one to resist temptation. 
·         Fasting , as taught by the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) when he said: “O young men, whoever among you can afford to, let him get married, for it is more effective in lowering the gaze and in guarding one’s chastity. Whoever cannot afford it, then let him fast, for it will be a shield for him.” This is addressed to young men, but it also includes young women. 
·         Strengthening one’s resolve and willpower, for this will make a young woman able to resist and control her desires. 
·         Remembering what Allah has prepared for righteous young women. Allah says (interpretation of the meaning): 
“Verily, the Muslims (those who submit to Allah in Islam) men and women, the believers men and women (who believe in Islamic Monotheism), the men and the women who are obedient (to Allah), the men and women who are truthful (in their speech and deeds), the men and the women who are patient (in performing all the duties which Allah has ordered and in abstaining from all that Allah has forbidden), the men and the women who are humble (before their Lord Allah), the men and the women who give Sadaqat (i.e. Zakah and alms), the men and the women who observe Sawm (fast) (the obligatory fasting during the month of Ramadan, and the optional Nawafil fasting), the men and the women who guard their chastity (from illegal sexual acts) and the men and the women who remember Allah much with their hearts and tongues. Allah has prepared for them forgiveness and a great reward (i.e. Paradise).” [Al-Ahzab 33:35]
·         Thinking about the lives of righteous women who guarded their chastity, such as Maryam, whom Allah praises in the Quran (interpretation of the meaning): 
“And Maryam (Mary), the daughter of ‘Imran who guarded her chastity. And We breathed into (the sleeve of her shirt or her garment) through Our Ruh [i.e. Gabriel], and she testified to the truth of the Words of her Lord [i.e. believed in the Words of Allah: “Be!” and he was; that is `Isa (Jesus), son of Maryam (Mary) as a Messenger of Allah], and (also believed in) His Scriptures, and she was of the Qanitun (i.e. obedient to Allah).” [At-Tahrim 66:12]
And thinking about the immoral, fallen women, and comparing between the two types, for there is a huge difference between them. 
·         Choosing righteous companions and spending time with them, so that they can help one another to obey and worship Allah. 
·         Comparing the effects of immediate fulfillment of desire when a girl responds to prohibited, which is followed by loss of pleasure and all that is left is regret and sorrow, with patience and striving against one’s whims and desires, and realising that the pleasure of conquering one’s whim and desires is far greater than the pleasures of enjoying prohibited things. 
·         Seeking help by calling upon Allah and asking Him for help. The Quran tells us the lesson to be learned from the story of Yusuf (peace be upon him): 
“He said: ‘O my Lord! Prison is dearer to me than that to which they invite me. Unless You turn away their plot from me, I will feel inclined towards them and be one (of those who commit sin and deserve blame or those who do deeds) of the ignorant’
 So his Lord answered his invocation and turned away from him their plot. Verily, He is the All-Hearer, the All-Knower.” [Yusuf 12:33 – interpretation of the meaning]
And Allah knows best.

Praise be to Allah.The Muslim must develop a good attitude and commendable conduct. He has to avoid the things that incur the wrath of Allaah, and say only that which is best. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 
“And say to My slaves (i.e. the true believers of Islamic Monotheism) that they should (only) say those words that are the best. (Because) Shaytaan (Satan) verily, sows a state of conflict and disagreements among them. Surely, Shaytaan (Satan) is to man a plain enemy”
[al-Isra’ 17:53]
The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The believer does not slander, curse, or speak in an obscene or foul manner.” Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 1977, from the hadeeth of ‘Abd-Allaah ibn Mas’ood. Classed as saheeh by Ibn Hibaan, 1/421; al-Haakim, 1/57; al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’, 5381. 
It was narrated that Abu’l-Darda’ (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: Allaah hates the obscene, foul-mouthed person.” Narrated and classed as saheeh by al-Tirmidhi, 2002. 
Al-San’aani said: 
This hadeeth tells us that swearing and cursing are not characteristics of the true believer, but an exception is made in the case of cursing kaafirs, drinkers of alcohol and those whom Allaah and His Messenger cursed. 
Subul al-Salaam, 4/198. 
So the believer has to develop the attitude described in the Qur’aan, and the attitude exemplified by the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), especially towards his family. The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, “The best of you is the one who is best to his family.” 
Al-Shawkaani (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: 
Here we are told that the best of the people are those who are best towards their families because the family are the ones who most deserve to cheerfulness, good attitude and kindness; benefits should be brought to them and harm warded off from them. If a man is like that then he is the best of people, but if he is the opposite then he is the worst type. People often make this mistake, so you see a man who, when he meets his family he treats them in the worst and most unkind manner, and when he meets strangers who are not part of his family, he is gentle and polite and kind to them. Undoubtedly a person who is like that is deprived of divine support and is going astray from the straight path. We ask Allaah to keep us safe and sound.  
Nayl al-Awtaar, 6/360. 
The group with whom your father is going out is well known for having and promoting good characteristics, so the basic principle is that he is like that too, and that he fears Allaah. We say to you – if what you say about your father is true – that this is a test, and you have to be patient and pray that Allaah will guide him to the best of attitudes and characteristics. 
Patience undoubtedly brings a great reward. His wife must also be patient and put up with her husband’s annoyance, and obey him with regard to that which Allaah has permitted. If he is forbidding her to visit her relatives for a legitimate shar’i reason, then he has the right to do that, but if there is no legitimate reason then she has to obey him, but he is sinning, and the wife will be rewarded in sha Allaah. 
More advice may be found in the answer to question no. 482. We advise you to look at that, and we advise both husband and wife to read the answer to question no. 10608, which explains the rights of each spouse over the other. 
And Allaah knows best.

Praise be to Allah.
We begin by thanking Allaah for this
gheerah (protective jealousy); may Allaah help you to enjoin what is
good and forbid what is evil. We advise you to continue with what you are
doing of advising your husband and his relatives in the best manner, until
you find among these people someone whom Allaah will guide at your hands to
give up these haraam actions. In this way it will become easier for those
who think that they are weak and unable to change, to mend their ways and
adhere to the commands of sharee’ah. You have to seek help in your efforts
to advise them by praying to Allaah for these people, being kind to them and
not acting superior to them, but rather showing kindness and compassion
towards them, because that is more likely to be accepted and this is
something that may earn their respect despite your young age.

 In addition to that, you must also strive
to avoid joining them in the wrong things that they are doing, lest you
yourself weaken with regard to these evil actions, especially the bad movies
that you mentioned. The believer cannot assume that he is safe from
temptation, rather he must help himself to fight it by keeping away from bad
things and by making du’aa’.

 With regard to what you said about feeling
sad, jealous and angry for the sake of one’s religion, this is a blessing
from Allaah to His slave – but these feelings must be controlled according
to the guidelines of sharee’ah. Sadness should not lead to despair and so
on. Allaah said to His Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon
him):

“So
destroy not yourself (O Muhammad) in sorrow for them”

[Faatir 35:8]

Anger should not put off those whom
you are calling, for the purpose is to reform him, not simply to express
one’s frustration and anger.

 So long as your husband is a Muslim who
prays and is kind (as you mention), then be patient with him and continue to
call him (da’wah); perhaps Allaah will bless you by guiding him and causing
him to follow the ways of chastity.

 Perhaps if you think about the calamities
that have befallen other wives who have suffered because of husbands who are
worse than yours, that will make you put your husband’s sins into
perspective. We ask Allaah to guide him and you, and to guide us and all of
mankind to that which He loves and is pleased with. And Allaah is the Source
of strength.

Praise be to Allah.Undoubtedly what your uncle did  is a crime
that deserves punishment in this world and torment in the Hereafter. Many people’s religious conscience has been weakened by what they see and
read, which provokes their desire, so they fulfil their desires in ways that Allaah has forbidden. One of the most abhorrent and evil examples of
that is incest between a man and his mahrams (female relatives to whom marriage is forbidden), which is deserving of a severe punishment in the
Hereafter. 
Your mistake was not telling anyone in your
family so that they could put a stop to what this uncle was doing. But because that is in the past and has now ended, and you hated the situation
from the outset, there is no sin on you now. 
You have to try to forget the evil thing that
he did, and learn a lesson from it for the future, for yourself and your children. We advise you to pray to Allaah and ask Him to relieve you of
your worry and take away your distress. Some du’aa’s that have been narrated in the Sunnah are as follows: 

(a)
It was narrated that Anas ibn Maalik said: The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to say:
“Allaahumma inni a’oodhu bika min al-hamm
wa’l-hazn wa’l-‘ajz wa’l-kasal wa’l-bukhl wa’l-jubn wa dala’ al-dayn wa ghalbat al-rijaal (O Allaah, I seek refuge with You from distress,
grief, incapacity, laziness, miserliness, cowardice, the burden of debt and from being overpowered by men).” 
Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 6008. 
Ibn Hajar said: 
The interpretation of these things is:
“distress” means bad things that the mind imagines are happening at present; “grief” for what has happened in the past; “incapacity” is the
opposite of ability; “laziness” is the opposite of being energetic; “miserliness” is the opposite of generosity; “cowardice” is the opposite of
courage. 
Fath al-Baari. 

(b)
It was narrated that ‘Abd-Allaah ibn Mas’ood said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:
“There is no-one who is afflicted by distress and grief, and says: ‘Allaahumma inni ‘abduka ibn ‘abdika ibn amatija naasyati bi yadika, maada
fiyya hukmuka, ‘adlun fiyya qadaa’uka. As’aluka bi kulli ismin huwa laka sammayta bihi nafsaka aw anzaltahu fi kitaabika aw ‘allamtahu ahadan min
khalqika aw ista’tharta bihi fi ‘ilm il-ghayb ‘indaka an taj’al al-Qur’aana rabee’ qalbi wa noor sadri wa jalaa’ huzni wa dhihaab hammi (O
Allaah, I am Your slave, son of Your slave, son of Your maidservant; my forelock is in Your hand, Your command over me is forever executed and
Your decree over me is just. I ask You by every name belonging to You which You have named Yourself with, or revealed in Your Book, or You taught
to any of Your creation, or You have preserved in the knowledge of the Unseen with You, that You make the Qur’aan the life of my heart and the
light of my breast, and a departure for my sorrow and a release for my anxiety),’ but Allaah will take away his distress and grief, and replace it
with joy.” He was asked: “O Messenger of Allaah, should we learn this?” He said: “Of course; everyone who hears it should learn it.”
Narrated by Ahmad, 3704; classed as saheeh by
Shaykh al-Albaani in al-Silsilah al-Saheehah, 199. 
So do not give in to the pain of the past and forget yourself. You have to keep yourself busy
with acts of obedience to Allaah, such as memorizing Qur’aan, reading books of knowledge and the biographies of the righteous salaf, and look for
good friends. 
We ask Allaah to bless you with that and
more. 
And Allaah is the Source of strength.

Praise be to Allah.The attribute of patience is a high status with which Allah blesses whomsoever He wills among His slaves, to make it easy for them to obey His commands and heed His prohibitions. Your attempts to bring people together and to get closer to your relatives is a praiseworthy effort which points to your success and correct thinking. For many people, if they are faced with even a part of what you have suffered, quickly lose patience and respond to cutting off of ties in like manner, because they think that upholding family ties is only obligatory when relatives respond in the same manner. This is a mistaken notion and the fact that it is mistaken is indicated by the hadeeth which was narrated from Abu Hurayrah, which says that a man said, “O Messenger of Allah, I have relatives with whom I uphold the ties of kinship but they cut me off; I treat them well but they mistreat me; I am patient with them but they treat me in an ignorant manner.”  The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “If it is as you say, then it is as if you are stuffing hot ashes [in their mouths], and you will have with you [an angel] from Allah to support you against them so long as you continue to be like that.” (Narrated by Muslim, no. 2285).  
In this hadeeth, a man came to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) complaining of his relatives’ bad treatment of him, and in his complaint he mentioned something similar to what you have mentioned: he upheld the ties of kinship but they cut him off, he treated them well but they treated him badly. Yet despite that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) told him that if he was telling the truth, then his situation with them would be like one fills their mouths with ashes, so he is the one who is doing the right thing, and he would continue to have support from Allah against them. The general meaning of the hadeeth is to encourage the upholding of family ties even with those who doe not themselves uphold those ties. Praise be to Allah that this is what you have done and have forced yourself to do. I ask Allah to help you to do that which is good. 
After that there is nothing more that you can do except to follow one good deed with another, one kind action with another. If they mistreat you then do to them the opposite of that which they have done to you. 
You should note that when you do that, you are doing it only to earn the pleasure and mercy of Allah. Do not expect any response to your good deed from them. But try not to tell people what they are doing to you. If you think that one of the causes of this problem is too much contact with them, there is nothing wrong with your reducing your visits with them. 
Pray to Allah to guide them; pray to Him when you are certain of a response, for Allah is Able to turn their hatred into love and their neglect into close ties. 
With regard to your question about du`as that will help you to be patient when faced with difficulties, there are many such du`as, and we will tell you some of them here: 
-1- 
It was narrated that Ibn ‘Abbaas (may Allah be pleased with him) said: “When faced with difficulties the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) would say: ‘Laa ilaaha ill-Allah al-‘Azeem al-Haleem, laa ilaaha ill-Allah Rabb il-‘Arsh il-‘Azeem, laa ilaaha ill-Allah Rabb ul-samawaati wa Rabb ul-‘Arsh il-Kareem (There is no god except Allah, the Almighty, the Forbearing; there is no god except Allah the Lord of the Mighty Throne; there is no god except Allah, Lord of the heavens and Lord of the noble Throne).’”  (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 7426). 
According to a report narrated by Muslim: “When the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) was concerned about an important matter or when he was worried…” (Muslim, 2130). 
-2- 
It was narrated that Anas (may Allah be pleased with him) said: “When the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) was distressed by something, he would say, ‘Ya Hayyu, ya Qayyoom, bi rahmatika astagheeth (O Ever-Living, O Eternal One, by Your mercy I seek help).’” (narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 3524); classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’, 4777). 
We also want to tell you of something important which will help you to be more patient and will give you certain faith in Allah, especially when you are upset and worried. This is something which many people neglect. Do you know what it is? 
It is prayer, for prayer has a great effect in bringing peace to the heart and in dispelling worries and distress. It is one of the greatest means of being patient. This is indicated by the Quran and Sunnah. Allah says (interpretation of the meaning): 
“And seek help in patience and As-Salaah (the prayer) and truly, it is extremely heavy and hard except for Al-Khaashi‘oon [i.e. the true believers in Allah — those who obey Allah with full submission, fear much from His punishment, and believe in His Promise (Paradise) and in His Warnings (Hell)]”
[al-Baqarah 2:45]
Prayer is the greatest thing by means of which help may be sought.
 And Allah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“Indeed, We know that your breast is straitened at what they say.
So glorify the praises of your Lord and be of those who prostrate themselves (to Him).
And worship your Lord until there comes unto you the certainty (i.e. death)” [al-Hijr 15:97-99]
 Imaam Ibn Jareer al-Tabari said in his Tafseer: “ ‘So glorify the praises of your Lord’: with regard to matters which are worrying you, turn to Allah and give thank to Allah and praise Him, and pray, and Allah will take care of that which is troubling you.
 This is similar to the hadeeth narrated from the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him): ‘When something troubled him, he would turn to prayer.’” (7/553)
 Finally I ask Allah the Almighty, the Lord of the Mighty Throne, to bless us and you with certain faith, for He is Able to do that.
 And Allah knows best.