Tag: Q n A

Praise be to Allah.So long as the nikaah (marriage contract) has not yet taken place, this
man is still a “stranger” to you, and you should observe hijaab with him (i.e.,
wear proper hijaab and avoid contact) just as you would in the case of any other man. He
has no right to look at you beyond the look that is allowed by sharee’ah at the time
of making a marriage proposal, beyond which no further look is permitted until the nikaah
is completed. What you father has told you about it being OK for you to relax the rules of
hijaab in front of your fiancé is not correct, and there should be no obedience to any
created being if it involves disobedience to the Creator. The mere intention of marriage
does not justify uncovering in front of him. And Allaah knows best.

Praise be to Allah.You must repent to Allaah for what you have done and stop whatever
haraam deed you are doing, whether it is major or minor. If you feel that in
order to stop doing this haraam deed you have to marry this woman even if your
parents do not agree, then go ahead and marry her, because that is the lesser
of two evils, and try to please them in other ways as much as you can. See Question
#988, 1114
and 1805. We ask Allaah to protect us
and you from committing haraam deeds.

Praise be to Allah.Before we find out what the Quraan says about despising
others because of their origins, we should know what the Quraan says about
having girlfriends. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
Wed them with the permission of their own folk and
give them their mahr (dowry) according to what is reasonable; they should be
chaste, not adulterous, nor taking boyfriends [al-Nisaa 4:25]
In his commentary on this aayah, Ibn Katheer (may Allaah have
mercy on him) said:
Muhsanaat [translated as chaste] means
that they should be pure, not indulging in zinaa (unlawful sexual conduct),
hence they are described as not being musaafihaat, which means promiscuous
women who do not refuse anyone who wants to commit immoral acts with them
Ibn Abbaas said: muttakhidhaati akhdaan means lovers.
Al-Hasan al-Basri said: It means a (male) friend.
Allaah has also forbidden this, meaning marrying her so long as she is in that
situation
Now that you know the Islamic ruling on this matter and are sure
that what you have done is haraam and sinful, we will now move on to what Allaah
says about despising others for their origins. Allaah says (interpretation of
the meaning):
O you who believe! Let not a group scoff at another group,
it may be that the latter are better than the former; nor let (some) women scoff
at other women, it may be that the latter are better than the former
[al-Hujuraat 49:11]
Allaah has not created mankind in nations and tribes so that they
may be proud and despise one another, but so that they may be distinguished
from one another and thus get to know one another. Allaah says (interpretation
of the meaning):
O mankind! We have created you from a male and a female,
and made you into nations and tribes, that you may know one another. Verily,
the most honourable of you with Allaah is that (believer) who has taqwa (i.e.
is one of the muttaqeen the pious). Verily Allaah is All-Knowing, All-Aware.
[al-Hujuraat 49:13]
Ibn Katheer (may Allaah have mercy on him) said, in his commentary
on this aayah:
Here Allaah is telling mankind that He created them from
one soul, from which He created its mate this refers to Aadam and Hawwa
(Adam and Eve) and made them into nations, which are bigger than tribes.
Beyond the tribe there are other smaller units and divisions, such as families
and clans. An alternative interpretation is that nations refers
to the non-Arabs and tribes refers to the Arabs. All people are
equal with regard to lineage because of their descent from Aadam and Hawwa,
upon whom be peace, but some may be better than others in religious matters,
i.e., in obedience to Allaah and in following His Messenger
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). For this reason, after forbidding
envy and scornful attitudes towards others, Allaah pointed out their equality
as human beings: O mankind! We have created you from a male and a female,
and made you into nations and tribes, that you may know one another
i.e., that they may know one another by referring to their tribes. Mujaahid
said that this meant by calling a person So-and-so the son of So-and-so,
from such-and-such a tribe. Abu Hurayrah reported that the Messenger
of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon
him) was asked, Which people are the most honourable? He said: The
most honourable in the sight of Allaah are the most pious (those who have most
taqwa). They said, That is not what we were asking about.
He said: The most honourable of people is Yoosuf the Prophet of Allaah,
the son of the Prophet of Allaah, the son of the Prophet of Allaah, the son
of the Friend (khaleel) of Allaah. They said: That is not
what we were asking about. He said, Are you asking about which lineage
of the Arabs is most honourable? They said, Yes. He said:
The best of you at the time of Jaahiliyyah are the best of you in Islam,
if they understand properly. Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased
with him) also reported that the Messenger of Allaah
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: Allaah does not look
at your outward appearance or your wealth, He looks at your hearts and your
deeds.
Further information that is relevant to your question may be found
under #1805 and #1114.
We ask Allaah to bless us and you with strength and goodness, and to keep us
all away from that which is forbidden. May Allaah bless our Prophet Muhammad.

Praise be to Allah.This question requires that we offer advice to both of you. Firstly, to
your father, who you say is preventing you from marrying this girl whom you describe as
religious and well-mannered. He has to allow you to marry her, unless he has some
legitimate Islamic reason, which he should explain to you to convince you and put your
mind at rest. He should also put himself in your shoes: if his own father prevented him
from marrying a religious and well-mannered girl whom he liked, would he not feel
resentful about this denial of his freedom? If he would not like his father to do such a
thing to him, how can he do this to his son? As the Prophet
(peace and blessings of
Allaah be upon him) said: “None of you truly believes until he likes for his brother
what he likes for himself.”
It is not right for your father to prevent you from marrying this girl
with no legitimate Islamic reason. If there is a reason, he should explain it to you so
that you will understand what is going on.
Our advice to you is this: if you can possibly change your mind and
find another girl to marry, in order to please your father, maintain family unity and
avoid division, then do so.
But you may find that you cannot do that, because your heart is
attached to this girl, and you cannot bear the thought of marrying anyone else. You may
also be afraid that if you choose another girl, your father might object to that marriage
too, because some parents may try to force their son to marry a relative, or a woman whose
qualities the father likes but the son does not. Some parents may feel jealousy or envy
even towards their own children, so they prevent them from doing what they want to do. If
this is the case, then there is no sin on you if you marry her, even if your father
objects. Perhaps after you are married, your father may change his mind. We ask Allaah to
help you make the right choice.

Praise be to Allah.How to consummate marriage in Islam
When a Muslim wants to consummate his marriage , a number of things are recommended in the sunnah:

He should treat his bride kindly and gently, like offering her something to drink and so on, because of the hadith narrated by Asma bint Yazid ibn al-Sakan, who said: “I prepared ‘Aishah as a bride when she married the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him). I came to him and invited him to see her (uncover her face). So he came and sat beside her, and a large cup of milk was brought to him. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) drank some, then offered it to her, but she lowered her head and felt shy. I rebuked her and said: ‘Take it from the hand of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him).’ So she took it and drank a little, then the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said to her, ‘Give some to your companion (meaning himself).’” (Reported by Imam Ahmad and deemed sahih by al-Albani)

He should place his hand on his bride’s head and pray for her, saying “Bismillah” and asking for barakah (blessing), saying the words reported in the hadith narrated by ‘Abdullah ibn ‘Amr ibn al-‘As, who said that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “When one of you marries a woman or buys a servant, let him say: ‘Allahumma inni as-aluka khayraha wa khayra ma jabaltaha ‘alayhi wa a’udhu bika min sharriha wa min sharri ma jabaltaha ‘alayhi (O Allah, I ask You for her goodness and the goodness which You have created in her, and I seek refuge with You from her evil and the evil which You have created in her).’” Abu Dawud said that Abu Sa’id added: “Then let him take hold of her forelock and pray for blessing from this woman or servant.” (Reported by Abu Dawud in al-Sunan, Kitab al-Nikah, Bab fi jami’ al-nikah; classed as hasan in Sahih al-Jaami’, no. 341)

He should pray two rak’ahs with her, leading her in prayer, because this is reported as being the practice of the salaf (early generations). There are two reports concerning this. (i) from Abu Sa’id, the freed slave of Abu Usayd, which states that a group of the Companions of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) taught him and told him: “When your wife comes in to you, pray two rak’ahs and ask Allah for the goodness of what has come to you, and seek refuge with Him from its evil.” (ii) from Shaqiq, who said: “A man called Abu Hariz came and said (to ‘Abdullah ibn Mas’ud, may Allah be pleased with him): ‘I have married a young virgin girl, but I am afraid that she may hate me.’ ‘Abdullah said: ‘Love comes from Allah and hatred comes from Shaytan, who wants to make you hate what Allah has made permissible. When she comes to you, tell her to pray two rak’ahs behind you.’” (These two reports were narrated by Ibn Abi Shaybah; see Adab al-Zafaf by al-Albani).
When he wants to consummate the marriage , he should say the words reported in the hadith reported by Ibn ‘Abbas (may Allah be pleased with him and his father) from the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) who said: “When one of you wants to approach (have intercourse with) his wife, if he says: ‘Bismillahi Allahumma jannibna al-Shaytan wa jannib al-Shaytan ma razaqtana (In the name of Allah, O Allah, protect us from Shaytan and protect whatever You give to us from Shaytan)’ – then if they are given a child, Shaytan will not harm it.” (Reported by al-Bukhari, Fath, no. 3271) (For more information, see Adab al-Zafaf by al-Albani, p. 91)

Is there a limit to the number of guests in a wedding feast?
There is no limit to the number of guests one can invite to a wedding feast (walimah), so invite whoever you wish of your relatives, the bride’s relatives, your friends and anyone you have a good reason to invite.
Music in a wedding ceremony: Haram?
It is not permitted in Islam to do anything that is haram such as having music , letting men and women mix, or letting women dance in front of men, or other things that earn the wrath of Allah. How can the blessing of Allah be exchanged for disobedience and immorality? 
At weddings , women can do whatever is allowed in Islam, such as singing acceptable songs with good words or entertaining themselves by playing the daff (a certain kind of drum, resembling a tambourine without the rattles) only, so long as no men are present.
Who should give the wedding walimah?
Providing the wedding feast (walimah) is the husband’s responsibility . The sunnah is to slaughter one sheep or more for the guests, if he is able to, as the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said to ‘Abd al-Rahman ibn ‘Awf, “Give a wedding feast, even if it is only one sheep.” (Reported by al-Bukhari, al-Fath, no. 2048).
We ask Allah to bless you and your bride and to grant you a happy marriage.
And Allah knows best.

Praise be to Allah.In answer to your second question, to say that it is permissible for a man
to engage in a premarital physical relationship (even if it does not include intercourse)
with a woman who is not permissible for him, claiming that he intends to marry her in the
future, is total and utter nonsense. This can never be allowed by sharee’ah, and
there can be no legitimate relationship until after the completion of a legal marriage
contract according to Islamic law (i.e., nikaah).
I sent your first question to Shaykh ‘Abd-Allaah ibn ‘Abd
al-Rahmaan al-Jibreen, and he wrote back to me with the following answer:
Yes, it is a duty on the father to keep his children
chaste by arranging their marriages, and spending on them and clothing them, if he is able
to do so. If he is not able to, but the mother, grandfather or grandmother is able, it
becomes that person’s duty to arrange the marriage. If the son cannot afford it but
he has the ability to earn a living, it is his obligation to do so, in order to keep
himself chaste. And Allaah knows best.

Praise be to Allah.You should treat your mother respectfully, and try to persuade her to
agree to your marrying this girl who has repented and is practising her religion. But if
your mother does not agree, and you cannot be patient and you fear that you will fall into
sin if you do not marry her, then it is still permissible for you to marry her. And Allaah
is the source of strength.

Praise be to Allah.Allah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“Your wives are a tilth for you, so go to your tilth (Have sexual relations with your wives in any manner as long as it is in the vagina and not in the anus ), when or how you will, and send (good deeds, or ask Allah to bestow upon you pious offspring) for your ownselves beforehand. And fear Allah, and know that you are to meet Him (in the Hereafter), and give good tidings to the believers (O Muhammad).” [Al-Baqarah 2:223]
From the word Harth (tilth) we understand that what is permissible is only in the vagina (the front passage), especially because this is what will produce children. The semen that is planted in the womb from which offspring come is likened to the seeds which are planted in the ground, from which vegetation comes, as both of them are substances from which something else is produced.
The phrase translated as when or how you will means, in any manner you wish, from behind or from the front, sitting or with the wife lying on her back or on her side, so long as it is in the place of tilth (i.e., the vagina, the place from which a baby is born).
The poet said:
The wombs are lands for us to till; we have to plant the seeds and whatever grows is up to Allah.
It was reported from Khuzaymah ibn Thabit (may Allah be pleased with him) that the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “Allah is not too shy to tell you the truth: do not have intercourse with your wives in the anus .” (Narrated by Imam Ahmad, 5/213; a good Hadith)
Ibn `Abbas (may Allah be pleased with him) said: “The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “Allah will not look at a man who has intercourse with his wife in her anus .” (Narrated by Ibn Abi Shaybah, 3/529; narrated and classed as authentic by At-Tirmidhi, 1165) (See Nayl Al-Maram by Siddiq Hasan Khan, 1/151-154)
If a man does this, his wife is not considered to be divorced as many people think, because there is no Shar`i evidence at all that indicates this. But the scholars said that if a man habitually does this, his wife has the right to ask for a divorce, because he is an evildoer who is causing harm by his action, and also because the purpose of marriage cannot be achieved through this action. The wife has to resist this evil action and remind her husband about Allah and about the punishment for transgressing the limits set by Allah. If the husband repents to Allah from this deed, there is no reason why she should not stay with him, and there is no need to renew the marriage contract. 
For more details, please see the following answers: 5560 , 10053 , 23339 , and 1202 .
And Allah is the Source of strength.

Praise be to Allah.The relationship of an engaged man with his fiancée is the same as a
man’s relationship with any woman to whom he is not related: he is not allowed to
enjoy any kind of physical relationship with her whatsoever, until the marriage contract
with her has been completed.
If it is asked what kind of relationship the husband can have with his
wife after the contract has been completed and before the wedding party, the answer is
that he may enjoy a full husband-wife relationship, including looking at her, kissing her,
being alone with her, travelling with her, having intercourse with her, etc. (al-Lajnah
al-Daa’imah li’l-iftaa: Fataawa Islamiyyah, 3/154).
For more information on the Sunnah (way of the Prophet

(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) in weddings, and what is done during the
celebrations, you can refer to the questions under the heading of Nikaah (marriage) in the
Fiqh (Jurisprudence and Islamic rulings) section of this Website. If you have any further
questions, please feel free to contact us again. And Allah is the source of strength.

Praise be to Allah.It is not essential to be married in order to enter Paradise, but if a person fears that he may do something forbidden, then he has to get married. If he does not get married in this case, then he is making a mistake.
With regard to your second point, it is possible for a person to be pious without being married, but this is rare. Usually no one forgoes getting married except one who is either impotent or promiscuous, as ‘Umar ibn al-Khattaab (may Allah be pleased with him) said to a man who had not got married: “Nothing is keeping you from getting married except either impotence or immorality.”
In any case, Islam urges people to get married and considers marriage to be one of the ways of the Messengers; it is forbidden to forego getting married even if the intention is to devote oneself to worship. “There is no monasticism in Islam.”
And Allah knows best.