Tag: Q n A

Praise be to Allah.If this love is not distracting you from the love of Allah, and will not lead to you doing or saying anything haraam, then there is nothing wrong with this, in sha Allah, or with praying to Allah to make him a part of your future – so long as he is a Muslim who fears Allah.

Praise be to Allah.There are many differences between Muslim and non-Muslim
weddings, such as: the condition that the woman must have a wali or
guardian to marry her off, the condition that there be witnesses and that
the marriage be announced, that the woman cannot be a mahram (close blood
relative) of the man, and that the wedding does not have to take place in a
mosque.
The groom can wear any kind of clothing that has been
permitted by Allaah, and it does not have to be any specific colour.
It is not permitted for the couple to exchange rings,
because this is an innovation that has been newly invented in the religion,
and is even worse if the man wears a gold ring because gold is forbidden for
men in Islam. It is mustahabb (recommended) for women in particular to sing
at weddings and to use the daff (hand-drum), but not any other kind of
musical instruments.
It is not permissible for men and women to mix, at weddings
or at any other time, or for the groom to sit with his bride in front of the
women.
If the women are alone and no men can see them, it is
permissible for them to dance, so long as this will not cause undue
provocation of desires.
And Allaah knows best.

Praise be to Allah.A Muslim man is permitted to marry anyone he likes of the women whom
Allaah has allowed him to marry, but he is encouraged to marry a Muslim woman who is
religious and has a good moral character (because this is the basis of true happiness).
Similarly, he is permitted to marry a chaste woman of the People of the Book, i.e., Jews
and Christians. Another basis for a happy marriage is that his parents should be pleased
with his choice of bride, and part of the way in which parents show their love and
kindness towards their son is by helping him to get married, whether financially or in
other ways. As regards what you say about striving and fighting for the sake of love, we
should stop and think about this matter carefully. We believe that feeling love for a
particular woman is not the be-all and end-all in a Muslim’s life, for which he
should give up everything that matters to him. No way! The Muslim is wise and pays
attention to everything that is in his interests, such as the woman’s religious
commitment and moral character, his parents’ approval, his own honour and reputation
among people, the future of the marriage and its potential to endure, whether any bad
things will result from his marriage to a particular woman and whether this outweighs his
interests, the environment in which the children of the marriage will grow up, the nature
of his future in-laws with whom he will have to mix, etc. It is not the matter of a
fleeting desire, rather it is the matter of one’s future and eventual destiny.
Finally, we say that the love of a woman is not
some god to be worshipped, rather it is a matter that is governed by the laws of the One
God, Allaah, the Lord of the Worlds.

Praise be to Allah.This
depends on the situation of the husband; it may be that marriage to
a widow is more suitable for him, and better. 
The
widow may be a lady of religious commitment and good character, such
that you would not want to let the opportunity to marry such a woman
“slip through your fingers”, and you could not find a virgin of such
religious commitment and character. 
But
generally speaking, the Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) encouraged marriage to virgins. 

There
is the story of Jaabir (may Allaah be pleased with him), whose father
had died, leaving him with sisters. In his case it would not have been
suitable for him to marry a virgin who was young like them. So he wanted
to marry a woman who had been previously married, who could take care
of them and look after them, and the Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) approved of his decision. 

It was narrated that Jaabir ibn ‘Abd-Allaah
(may Allaah be pleased with them both) said: “The Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) asked me, ‘Have you got
married?’ I said, ‘Yes.’ He said, ‘A virgin or a previously-married
woman?’ I said, ‘A previously-married woman.’ He said, ‘Why not a young
girl, whom you could play with and she could play with you?’ I said,
‘I have sisters and I wanted to marry a woman who could gather them
together and comb their hair and take care of them.’ He said: ‘You will
reach, so when you have arrived (at home), I advise you to associate
with your wife (that you may have an intelligent son).’”
(Narrated
by al-Bukhaari, 1991; Muslim, 715) 
According
to another report narrated by al-Bukhaari (2257), “… so she could teach
them and discipline them.” 
According
to another report narrated by al-Bukhaari (2805) and Muslim (715): “He
said: ‘The Messenger of Allaah
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said to me, when I asked
his permission (to participate in jihaad), “Have you married
a virgin or a previously-married woman?” I said, “A previously-married
woman.” He said, “Why did you not marry a virgin whom you could play
with and she could play with you?” I said, “O Messenger of Allaah, my
father has died (or has become a shaheed/martyr), and I have
young sisters, so I did not want to marry someone like them who could
not discipline them or take care of them, so I married a previously-married
woman who could take care of them and discipline them.”’” 
It was narrated that Jaabir (may Allaah be
pleased with him) said: “My father died, leaving seven – or nine – daughters,
and I married a previously-married woman. The Messenger of Allaah
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) asked, ‘Did you get married,
O Jaabir?’ I said, ‘Yes.’ He said, ‘A virgin or a previously-married
woman?’ I said, ‘A previously-married woman.’ He said, ‘Why not a young
girl whom you could play with and she could play with you, and you could
laugh with her and she could laugh with you?’ I told him that ‘Abd-Allaah
had died and left behind daughters, and I did not want to bring to them
someone like them. So I had married a woman who could take care of them
and discipline them. He said, ‘May Allaah bless you,’ or similar kind
words.”(Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 5052) 
Shaykh
Mustafa al-Ruhaybaani said:
“It is
Sunnah for the one who wants to get married to marry a virgin, because
the Prophet (peace and blessings
of Allaah be upon him) said to Jaabir, ‘Why not a virgin whom you could
play with and she could play with you?’ (agreed upon) – unless there
is a reason for which marrying a previously-married woman is better,
in which case he should choose such a woman over a virgin, in order
to serve that interest.”(Mataalib Uli al-Nuha, 5/9, 10) 

And Allaah
knows best.

Praise be to Allah.This is not necessarily the case, but it could happen. Some people are tested by means of someone else putting a magic spell on them which prevents them from having intercourse with their wives. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And from these (angels) people learn that by which they cause separation between man and his wife, but they could not thus harm anyone except by Allaah’s Leave [al-Baqarah 2:102]
But if a person uses the prayers for refuge prescribed in Islam, Allaah will be sufficient for him against the evil of the magicians and others, and Allaah will take that (magic) away if it is present. So he has to read Aayat al-Kursi over himself, and al-Faatihah, and the verses which speak of sihr (magic), and “Qul Huwa Allaahu Ahad” and the Mi’wadhatayn, and it will go away by Allaah’s Leave. This has been tried a great deal. A good qaari’ (reader) from among the good and righteous people from whom one hopes for good may also recite for him. The reader may recite into water which the man may then drink from or wash with, and the harm will go away from him, or the reader may recite over him and blow onto him, and Allaah will cure him of that. All of these are means of keeping safe and sound.

Praise be to Allah.We put this question to Shaykh Muhammad ibn Saalih al-‘Uthaymeen, may Allaah preserve him, who answered as follows:
It is not makrooh, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) concluded the marriage contract with ‘Aa’ishah when she was six years old, and consummated the marriage with her when she was nine. The prospective husband may do that sometimes because he is keen to get married and is afraid that the woman or her family may change their minds, so he hastens to conclude the marriage contract. There is nothing wrong with that from the point of view of sharee’ah, but I think that the marriage contract should be concluded at the same time as the marriage is to be consummated, or shortly before, because that helps to avoid problems that may arise, such as differences that lead to divorce, or death of one of the spouses, etc… And Allaah is the source of strength.

Praise be to Allah.Is Intimacy an Act of Worship in Islam?
 If a man has intercourse with his wife , he will be rewarded for that, because he is doing something permissible and avoiding something forbidden. This is what is stated in the Hadith of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him):
 It was narrated from Abu Dharr (may Allah be pleased with him) that some people from among the companions of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him): “O Messenger of Allah, the rich people will get more reward. They pray as we pray, and they fast as we fast, but they give in charity from their excess wealth.” He said, “Has not Allah given you things with which you can give charity? Every Tasbihah (saying `Subhan Allah’ (Glory be to Allah)) is a charity. Every ‘Takbirah’ (saying `Allahu akbar (Allah is Most Great)) is a charity. Every ‘Tahmidah’ (saying `Al-hamdu-Lillah’ (praise be to Allah)) is a charity. Every Tahlilah (saying `La ilaha ill-Allah’ (there is none worthy of worship but Allah)) is a charity. Enjoining what is good is a charity. Forbidding what is evil is a charity. Having intercourse (with one’s wife) is a charity.” They said, “O Messenger of Allah, if one of us fulfils his desire, is there reward in that?” He said, “Do you not see that if he does it in a haram way he will have the burden of sin? So if he does it in a halal way, he will have a reward for that.” (Narrated by Muslim, 1674) 
Imam An-Nawawi (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
“The phrase, `Having intercourse is a charity’ – the word bud’ (translated here as `having intercourse’ ) may mean intercourse, or it may refer to the private part itself…
This indicates that permissible actions may become acts of worship, if there is a sincere intention. Intercourse may be an act of worship if the intention behind it is to fulfil the rights of one’s wife, to treat her kindly as enjoined by Allah, to seek a righteous child, to keep oneself or one’s wife chaste, to prevent both partners from looking towards or thinking of haram things, and other good intentions. `O Messenger of Allah, if one of us fulfils his desire, is there reward in that?’” (Sharh Muslim, 7/92)
Is the reward of sex in Islam equivalent to 70 Sunnah prayers?
 With regard to your comment that the reward of sex in Islam is equivalent to seventy optional prayers”
Perhaps this question about the reward for having intercourse with one’s wife comes from your reading of Imam An-Nawawi’s commentary on Sahih Muslim (Sharh An-Nawawi `ala Sahih Muslim). It is a comment which we will quote below, where the Shaykh (An-Nawawi – may Allah have mercy on him) was discussing the issue of enjoining what is good and saying that it is obligatory. Then he discussed the issue of saying Tasbih and Dhikr, which he noted is Sunnah. Then he explained that the obligatory act of worship is equivalent to seventy times the Sunnah act, and said: they reached this conclusion from a Hadith… Then at the end of this discussion he referred to the phrase “Having intercourse…” 
If this is indeed the case, then you should note that the first comment has nothing to do with what follows it. The phrase “from a Hadith” means from some Hadith, but Imam An-Nawawi does not quote it. When he finishes discussing the issue of obligatory and Sunnah acts of worship, and the status of each, he then starts his discussion of the phrase “Having intercourse…” So the confusion has arisen from this juxtaposition.
This is what we think. But if you mean that the reward for obligatory acts of worship is equivalent to the reward for seventy Sunnah acts, then An-Nawawi did discuss this point and said that there was a Hadith about it, but he did not quote it.
 We know what An-Nawawi was referring to, and this is what was pointed out by Al-Hafiz ibn Hajar (may Allah have mercy on him).
 Al-Hafidh (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
 “Note:
In Ziyadat Ar-Rawdah, An-Nawawi (may Allah have mercy on him) narrated from the Imam of the Haramayn from some of the scholars that the reward for an obligatory act of worship is seventy times more than the reward for a Sunnah act. An-Nawawi said: they reached this conclusion from a Hadith.”
 The Hadith in question was quoted by Imam An-Nawawi (may Allah have mercy on him) in An-Nihayah. It is the Marfu` Hadith of Salman concerning the month of Ramadan: “Whoever seeks to draw closer to Allah during (this month) by doing some good deeds will be like one who does an obligatory action at any other time, and one who does an obligatory action (during Ramadan) will be like one who does seventy obligatory actions at any other time.”
 This is an inauthentic Hadith which was narrated by Ibn Khuzaymah (may Allah have mercy on him), but he was uncertain as to whether it was sound or not.” ((At-Talkhis Al-Habir, 3/118)
 What he meant (may Allah have mercy on him) by saying that Ibn Khuzaymah was uncertain as to whether it was sound or not may be understood more clearly by referring to Sahih Ibn Khuzaymah (3/191), where he includes it under the chapter heading, Bab Fada’il Sharh Ramadan in Sahha Al-Khabr (Chapter on the virtues of the month of Ramadan, if the report is authentic).
 And the chain of transmission of this Hadith includes `Ali ibn Zayd ibn Jad`an, who is a weak narrator.
 And Allah knows best.

Praise be to Allah.in all
circumstances.
 My dear brother, what
you have described is indeed difficult and hard, but the Muslim can
do nothing but accept the decree of Allaah and face whatever difficulties
Allaah sends by following the means prescribed in sharee’ah.
 What we advise you to
do is the following: 
-Consult a trustworthy Muslim psychologist.
-Seek help through ruqyahs prescribed in sharee’ah [i.e., reciting
Qur’aan and du’aa’s for the purpose of seeking healing]. You can recite
ruqyah over yourself, or ask a righteous person to do this for you.

-If things do not change, we advise you to have patience, to fear
Allaah and do your duty towards Him, and to persist in making du’aa’;
Allaah will make a way out for you.
-If this goes on for a long time and causes difficulties for your
wife, there may be no option other than separation (divorce), and Allaah
will provide abundance for everyone of them from His bounty (cf. Al-Nisaa’
4:130)
-You have to have faith in Allaah and be optimistic. As time goes
by, things may change.
 We
ask Allaah to relieve your distress and to help you soon. And Allaah
is the source of strength.

Praise be to Allah.Allaah says (interpretation
of the meanings)
“And
no moving (living) creature is there on earth but its provision is due
from Allaah” [Hood
11:6]
 “And
so many a moving (living) creature carries not its own provision! Allaah
provides for it and for you. And He is the All‑Hearer, the All‑Knower”
[al-‘Ankaboot
29:60]
 “Verily,
Allaah is the All‑Provider, Owner of Power, the Most Strong” [al-Dhaariyaat
51:58]
 “so
seek your provision from Allaah (Alone), and worship Him (Alone), and
be grateful to Him”
[al-‘Ankaboot
29:17]
 Allaah condemned the people of the Jaahiliyyah
who killed their children for fear of poverty, and He forbade doing
what they did. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And
kill not your children for fear of poverty. We shall provide for them
as well as for you. Surely, the killing of them is a great sin” [al-Israa’
17:31]
 Allaah has commanded His slaves to put
their trust in Him in all their affairs, and He is Sufficient for those
who put their trust in Him. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

 “and
put your trust in Allaah if you are believers indeed” [al-Maa’idah 5:23]

 “And
whosoever puts his trust in Allaah, then He will suffice him” [al-Talaaq
65:3].
 So you have to put your trust in your
Lord and believe that He will provide for you and your children. Do
not let the fear of poverty prevent you from seeking to have children,
for Allaah has guaranteed provision for all. By not wanting children
for fear of poverty, you are imitating the people of the Jaahiliyyah.
 You should also note that taking out
loans with interest is ribaa (usury), for which Allaah issues the warning
of a painful torment. It is one of the seven sins which condemn a person
to Hell. The Prophet (peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Avoid the seven sins  which
condemn a person to Hell…[which include] consuming ribaa.” And he
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Allaah has cursed
the one who consumes ribaa, the one who pays it…” Consumption of ribaa
is one of the greatest causes of poverty and loss of blessings, as Allaah
says (interpretation of the meaning):
 “Allaah
will destroy Ribaa and will give increase for Sadaqaat (deeds of charity,
alms)” [al-Baqarah 2:276]
 I think that you do
not know the ruling on interest-based loans. So seeks Allaah’s forgiveness
for what is in the past, and do not do it again. Wait for your Lord
to grant you a way out and seek provision from Him. Put your trust in
Him for Allaah loves those who put their trust in Him.

Praise be to Allah.If
you want to get married, then look for one who is religious, as the
Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) advised when he
said: “Choose the one who is religious, may your hands be rubbed with
dust [i.e., may you prosper].” There is no reason why a man should not
also look for other things, such as beauty etc., that will help him to
keep his gaze lowered. This is something which should be taken into
account. Hence the Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon
him) mentioned it when he said, “Women may be married for four things”
– and he mentioned beauty as one of them. If you are afraid that you may
treat this woman badly because you do not find her attractive, then do not
go ahead and marry her. And Allaah knows best.