Tag: Q n A

Praise be to Allah.Firstly: 
The relationship between a man and his family
should not get in the way of his relationship with his wife and children. The smart wife is the one who is keen for her husband to develop a
strong relationship with his own family and for there to be friendship and love between them. She should not be an obstacle in the way of the
happiness of her husband’s family. 
The smart wife is wise in her dealings if she
sees some shortcomings in the way he treats his children and wife, and she is wise if she sees him exaggerating in his concern for his family at
the expense of his wife and children. So she makes him aware of his mistake by hinting, not by stating it bluntly, and she advises him without
hurting his feelings, and shows him the right way without making him feel that he is wrong, letting him feel that she loves his family and cares
for them. 
A woman should not think that her husband’s
care for his family will make him fall short in his duties towards her and his children. There is a difference between a husband falling short in
his duties towards his wife and children and his loving his family. What makes a man care for his family is his love for them, not his negligence
towards his wife and children. 
Secondly: 
Your husband has rights and you have duties.
Each of you should do that which is enjoined upon him or her by sharee’ah. Sharee’ah cannot make a man stop loving his family because he has got
married, and we cannot ask him to suppress his feelings for the sake of his wife and children. They were his family before he got married and they
will remain his family after he gets married. 
You have to try hard to deal with your own
feelings, and advise your husband when he falls short in his duties towards you and his children. You do not have the right to denounce him for
his love for his sister or his family. There is the fear in such situations that the man will say, “I can find a thousand wives but I cannot find
another brother or sister.” So beware of making the matter reach that state. 
At the same time we advise the husband to be
pay attention to his wife’s feelings and to take care of his wife and children. We also advise the sister to give her brother similar advice. 
Islam enjoins doing that which is in the
interests of all concerned, so that they may share in building the family, not destroying it. All of us must do the duties that Allaah has
enjoined upon us, without exaggeration or neglect. 
And Allaah is the Guide to the straight path.

Praise be to Allah.
Fear of death is a feeling that affects most people. Allaah
has created man in such a way that he loves life and fears the unknown, and
He has made death part of the world of the unseen which cannot be fully
understood except by the one who enters it. When a person thinks of it, he
cannot help but feel feelings of loneliness and fear or anxiety about that
unknown future. 

This is the natural explanation for man’s fear of death in
general. 

But the believer who submits to the will and decree of
Allaah, and in whose heart love of Allaah is instilled and who thinks
positively of Allaah realises that by his death he is returning to a
generous Lord and a merciful God, Who will reward him for good deeds with
good things and Who will pardon his bad deeds by His mercy and forgiveness.
That is only for the believer who puts his trust in Allaah and whose heart
is humble before Him, the Accepter of repentance. Allaah says
(interpretation of the meaning):

“No doubt! Verily, the Awliya’ [close friends] of Allaah,
no fear shall come upon them nor shall they grieve. 63. Those who
believed, and used to fear Allaah much (by abstaining from evil deeds and
sins and by doing righteous deeds). 64. For them are glad tidings, in
the life of the present world, and in the Hereafter. No change can there be
in the Words of Allaah. This is indeed the supreme success”

[Yoonus 10:62-64]

Al-Haafiz Ibn Katheer (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:

Here Allaah is telling us that His close friends are those
who believe and are pious, as their Lord describes them. So everyone who is
pious is a friend of Allaah. “No fear shall come upon them” means
with regard to what they encounter of the terrors of the resurrection. “Nor
shall they grieve” means for what they have left behind them in this
world. End quote. 

Tafseer al-Qur’aan al-‘Azeem,
4/278 

This is how you should be. 

We should all strive to be friends of Allaah, so that we may
obtain His love and pleasure, and so that His love will be the most
beautiful thing in our hearts. Then death will become no more than moving to
be under the care of the Most Generous, Most Merciful, may He be glorified,
and liberation from the limitations and bonds of this world to the expanse
and pleasures of the Hereafter. 

It was narrated from Abu Qataadah ibn Rib’i that he used to
narrate that a funeral passed by the Messenger of Allaah (blessings and
peace of Allaah be upon him) and he said: “One who has found relief and one
from whom relief has been found.” They said: O Messenger of Allaah, who are
the one who has found relief and the one from whom relief has been found? He
said: “The believing person has found relief from the troubles of this
world, and the people, the land, the trees and the animals have found relief
from the evil person.”

Narrated by al-Bukhaari (6512) and Muslim (950). 

It was narrated from ‘Ubaadah ibn al-Saamit that the Prophet
of Allaah said: “Whoever loves to meet Allaah, Allaah loves to meet him, and
whoever hates to meet Allaah, Allaah hates to meet him.”

‘Aa’ishah or one of his wives said: We hate death. He said:
“It is not like that. When the believer is dying, he is given the glad
tidings of the pleasure and honour of Allaah, and nothing is dearer to him
than that which is ahead of him, and he loves to meet Allaah and Allaah
loves to meet him. But when the disbeliever is dying, he is given tidings of
the punishment and wrath of Allaah, and nothing is more hated to him than
what is ahead of him, and he hates to meet Allaah and Allaah hates to meet
him.”

Narrated by al-Bukhaari (6507) and Muslim (2683). 

Al-Qurtubi (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:

This dislike of death is a natural dislike which stems from a
feeling of aversion, which is difficult to bear. Undoubtedly it exists in
everyone, except the one who Allaah blesses with love for Him and he
realized the beauty of being close to Him. That person’s love for Allaah
overwhelms him and he will say when it is his time to depart this world,
addressing death and its agonies, as Mu’aadh (may Allaah be pleased with
him) said: A beloved one has come at a time most needed, and the one who has
any regrets today will never prosper, so take my soul as You will, for by
You, my hearts loves You. 

al-Mufhim, 2/644 

If this meaning is established in your heart and soul, and
you have done righteous deeds in preparation for the day of departure from
this transient life, death will not harm you if Allaah wills, and your fear
of it will be no more than a reason to make you do good and turn to Allaah,
not a reason for doom, anxiety, panic or frustration. 

Shaykh Ibn Baaz (may Allaah have mercy on him) was asked the
following question:

Should the believer not be afraid of death? If that happens,
does that mean that he does not want to meet Allaah? 

He replied:

Believing men and women must fear Allaah and put their hope
in Him, because Allaah says in His Holy Book (interpretation of the
meaning): 

“so fear them not, but fear Me, if you are (true)
believers”

[Aal ‘Imraan 3:175] 

“Therefore fear not men but fear Me”

[al-Maa’idah 5:44] 

“and fear none but Me”

[al-Baqarah 2: 40] 

“Verily, those who have believed, and those who have
emigrated (for Allaah’s religion) and have striven hard in the way of
Allaah, all these hope for Allaah’s Mercy”

[al-Baqarah 2:218] 

“So whoever hopes for the Meetingwith
his Lord, let him work righteousness and associate none as a partner in the
worship of his Lord”

[al-Kahf 18:110]

There are many similar verses. 

It is not permissible for the believer, male or female, to
despair of the mercy of Allaah or feel secure against the plan of Allaah.
Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“Say: “O ‘Ibaadi (My slaves) who have transgressed against
themselves (by committing evil deeds and sins)! Despair not of the Mercy of
Allaah, verily, Allaah forgives all sins. Truly, He is Oft‑Forgiving, Most
Merciful”

[al-Zumar 39:53] 

“and never give up hope of Allaah’s Mercy. Certainly no
one despairs of Allaah’s Mercy, except the people who disbelieve”

[Yoosuf 12:87] 

“Did they then feel secure against the Plan of Allaah?
None feels secure from the Plan of Allaah except the people who are the
losers”

[al-A’raaf 7:99]

All the Muslims, both male and female, must prepare for death
and beware of being heedless, because of the verses quoted above and because
of what is narrated from the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allaah be upon
him) who said: “ Frequently remember the destroyer of pleasures – death.” 

and because being heedless about it and not preparing for it
are among the causes of a bad end. It is proven that ‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah
be pleased with her) said: The Messenger of Allaah (blessings and peace of
Allaah upon him) said: “Whoever loves to meet Allaah, Allaah loves to meet
him, and whoever hates to meet Allaah, Allaah hates to meet him.” I said: O
Prophet of Allaah, do you mean hating death, for all of us hate death? He
said: “It is not like that, but the believer, when he is given glad tidings
of Allaah’s mercy, pleasure and Paradise, loves to meet Allaah and Allaah
loves to meet him. But the disbeliever, when he is given tidings of Allaah’s
punishment and wrath, hates to meet Allaah and Allaah hates to meet him.”
Agreed upon. 

This hadeeth indicates that there is nothing wrong with
disliking or fearing death, and that does not indicate that a person does
not want to meet Allaah, because when the believer dislikes death or fears
its approach, he wants to do more acts of obedience to Allaah and do more to
prepare to meet Him. Similarly when the believing woman fears death and does
not want it to come to her, she is only doing that in the hope that she can
do more acts of obedience and prepare to meet her Lord. End quote. 

Majmoo’ Fataawa Ibn Baaz,
6/313-314 

And Allaah knows best.

Praise be to Allah.Is suicide haram?
Suicide is a major sin , and the one who does that is faced with a warning of eternity in the Fire of Hell, where Allah will punish him with the means that he used to commit suicide.
Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) narrated that the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “Whoever throws himself down from a mountain and kills himself will be throwing himself down in the Fire of Hell for ever and ever. Whoever drinks poison and kills himself will be sipping it in the Fire of Hell for ever and ever. Whoever kills himself with a piece of iron will have that iron in his hand, thrusting it into his belly in the Fire of Hell for ever and ever.” (Narrated by al-Bukhari (5442) and Muslim (109)
Thabit ibn Dahhak (may Allah be pleased with him) narrated that the Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “Whoever kills himself with something will be punished with it on the Day of Resurrection.” (Narrated by al-Bukhari (5700) and Muslim (110)
Jundub ibn ‘Abd-Allah (may Allah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “A man among those who came before you was wounded. He panicked and took a knife and cut his hand, and the bleeding did not stop until he died. Allah, may He be glorified and exalted, said: ‘My slave hastened his death; I have forbidden Paradise to him.” (Narrated by al-Bukhari (3276) and Muslim (113)
Patience in the face of calamities and hardship
The believer has to be patient and to seek the help of Allah, may He be exalted, and understand that no matter what hardship befalls him in this world — no matter how severe it is — the punishment of the Hereafter is worse than it. It is not acceptable according to anyone who is of right mind to run away from the heat of the desert and throw himself into the fire. How can he flee from temporary hardship and difficulty — which inevitably will come to an end — to an eternal punishment which has no end?
The Muslim should ponder and realise that he is not the only one in this world who is affected by calamity and hardship . Calamities befell the greatest of mankind, namely the prophets, messengers and the righteous. They also befell the worst of mankind, namely the disbelievers and atheists.
Calamity is part of the natural order of things and hardly anyone is safe from it.
If the believer handles it well and is patient, and it becomes a means that makes him turn back to Allah and strive hard in worship and righteous deeds, then the calamity will have been good for him and will be expiation for his sins, and perhaps he will meet Allah with no burden of sin.
The Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “No pain, hardship, sickness or grief befalls a believer, not even worry that befalls him, but some of his bad deeds will be expiated.” (Narrated by al-Bukhari (5642) and Muslim (2573)
Al-Tirmidhi (2399) narrated that Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “Calamities will continue to befall believing men and women in themselves, their children and their wealth, until they meet Allah with no burden of sin.” (Classed as sahih by al-Albani in Silsilat al-Ahadith al-Sahihah (2280)
Committing suicide because of mental illness
If the suicide is due to mental illness that has had such a far-reaching impact on a person’s reason that he is not aware of what he is saying or doing, if in such a case it so happens that he killed himself, then he will not be with the sinners who have committed the major sin of suicide; rather he will be excused. That is because this person was no longer accountable due to severe mental illness that led to loss of reason.
And Allah knows best.

Praise be to Allah.

Firstly: 

We ask Allaah to protect you and keep you and increase you in faith and
guidance, and we say: May Allaah love you for Whose sake you love us. 

Secondly: 

Women are required to cover their entire bodies in front of non-mahram men,
because of the evidence that we have previously discussed in the answer to
question number 11774. 

Thirdly: 

It is haraam for men and women to mix in educational institutions and
elsewhere, because of what that leads to of falling into many things that
are forbidden in sharia, and because of the evils that result from it. See
the answer to question number
1200 and 103044. 

Fourthly: 

Because of the situation in which Muslims are living in your country, and
the open war against niqab and hijab, and because of what you have mentioned
about the parents refusing to let their daughter give up her studies and
because she is about to finish her studies, then we hope that there will be
no blame on her if she continues her studies, whilst striving to reduce the
evil as much as possible. So she should not converse with men, or give
anyone any reason to speak to her or get to know her, and she should not go
out to the University except when she has to. 

See the answer to question number
113431. 

Fifthly: 

It is not permissible to copy discs whose authors have not given permission
to copy them, so as to protect copyright, which is a legitimate right which
it is not permissible to transgress against, and in accordance with the
conditions agreed to by both parties to the transaction, unless the discs
belong to a company in a country which is in a state of war against the
Muslims, in which case there is nothing wrong with it, or the copy is for
personal use, especially when the original is not available and one cannot
afford to pay for it. 

See the answer to question number
72848. 

We ask Allaah to guide us and you, and to make us and you steadfast. 

And Allaah knows best.

Praise be to Allah.The evidence of the Qur’aan and Sunnah indicates that it is obligatory for women for cover their faces. This evidence includes the verse in which Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 
“O Prophet! Tell your wives and your daughters and the women of the believers to draw their cloaks (veils) all over their bodies (i.e. screen themselves completely except the eyes or one eye to see the way)”
[al-Ahzaab 33:59] 
The cloak (jilbaab) is a garment that the woman places over her head and lowers over her face. 
So you have to fear Allaah in this matter and respond to two commands: the command of Allaah and the command of your husband. Undoubtedly this will be very good for you. This matter will make your husband happy and bring happiness to your home. Feelings of difficulty will pass if you are patient and get used to it. These feelings of difficulty will turn to joy when you see the effect that your way of dressing has on him, so you will be responding to Islamic commands and the command of your husband which is in accordance with the laws of Allaah. You will be closing the door to the shaytaans of those who may look at you, and will also be protecting the gaze of chaste and good people from looking at something which they are not permitted to see. And there are other benefits which you will see and appreciate when you respond to this command. 
Sisters who wear niqaab often come to regret the years in which they used to uncover their faces, after Allaah honoured them with the niqaab. If one of them were to be given all the wealth in the world to uncover her face, she would not do it. We have even seen many chaste women who have left their husbands because they wanted them to take off the niqaab. So think about the great difference between your situation and theirs. Where now can we find a man who is keen to keep his family chaste and covered? There are very few of them. Should we disregard these few or should we appreciate their actions which spread good in society? 
We remind you to fear Allaah, and we remind you of the actions of the believing women when they responded to the command of Allaah (interpretation of the meaning): 
“and to draw their veils all over Juyoobihinna (i.e. their bodies, faces, necks and bosoms)”
[al-Noor 24:31]
al-Bukhaari (4481) narrated that ‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) said: “When this verse was revealed, the muhaajir women took their waist wrappers and tore them at the edges, and covered their faces with them. 
See also the answer to question no. 21134, which explains the obligation of women covering their faces. 
Your husband should also read question no. 20343, which explains the husband’s duty to offer sincere advice to his wife, and ways of doing that. 
And Allaah knows best.

Praise be to Allah.It seems that the series of
sufferings that you are facing with this woman will continue, and the list
of her bad deeds will grow longer. Her bad treatment of your little girl
will never know any limit; if your daughter was an animal it would not be
permissible for her to do what she has done to her. 
We are certain that if your
son from her were to suffer as your daughter is suffering because of not
being able to go to the bathroom by himself, you would not see him being
treated as badly as she is treating your daughter. This — unfortunately —
happens a lot with the wives of fathers, and many, both male and female,
suffer from this. 
What we advise you to do
is: 
You must deal with the
matter seriously and quickly, try to instil a sense of love, mercy and
compassion in her heart, in the hope that she will stop what she is doing.
If you succeed in doing that, then you will have achieved what you want and
she will still be your wife. 
If you do not succeed, then
you have no choice but divorce. We do not advise you to be hardhearted and
harsh, because that will only make her more cruel towards your daughter, and
she will find more ways to harm her, whilst concealing the evidence of her
misdeeds. Hence if she does not respond to you and change her behaviour, and
mend her ways in response to kindness and persuasion, there is no solution
that will put an end to your suffering except divorce, sooner rather than
later. You are aware of your daughter’s suffering, and you hear her cries,
and you see the injury to her face and the burns on her leg and stomach, yet
despite that you’re still confused because you have a son from her. So how
would it be if there were more children then?! But we will not hide anything
from you, and we will tell you frankly that with a woman such as this, whom
you have divorced twice yet it has not stopped her wrongdoing and
aggression, there is no hope for much good in her, and it cannot be expected
that she will be kind to your daughter, because mercy cannot be instilled by
means of threats or warnings in the heart of one whom Allaah has deprived of
it. 
If you think of divorcing
her for a third time, or she sees signs of that in you, do not leave your
daughter with her, rather leave her with one of your relatives or with
trustworthy women among your neighbours or friends, because she might try to
take revenge on her because of your divorcing her. We do not know how you
are going to deal with the matter, because women vary, hence we are afraid
that she may do something to your daughter. With such women there is no
regret in separating from them. 
We ask Allaah to relieve your distress and worry, and to reward you for your calamity, and replace it with good from Him. 
And Allaah knows best.

Praise be to Allah.1.
We were very happy to receive your letter with the good news that you have entered Islam. We believe that your joy in belonging to Islam is joy that will last a lifetime. The greatest blessing that Allah can bestow upon any of His slaves is to guide him and open his heart to Islam. We ask Allah to complete and perfect the blessing of faith and well-being for you and to make you steadfast in following it until the Day when you meet the Lord of the Worlds. 
2.
We are very happy to learn that you love Islam and want to adhere to its laws. We think that this is a sign of blessing that Allah has bestowed upon you. We also feel that you have tasted the sweetness of faith at a time when many of those who belong to Islam in name only are deprived of it.
3.
We are very sad to learn about your parents and their disbelief in Allah, may He be exalted, and we are even more sad to learn of their reviling Allah, may He be exalted and His Messenger Muhammad (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him), even though Allah is their Lord, Creator and Provider and the Prophet Muhammad (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) is the Seal of the Prophets, concerning whom Allah took a covenant from every Prophet – and, by implication, their followers — that they would follow His Prophet Muhammad (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him), if Muhammad was sent when they were still alive. Allah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And (remember) when Allaah took the Covenant of the Prophets, saying: ‘Take whatever I gave you from the Book and Hikmah (understanding of the Laws of Allaah), and afterwards there will come to you a Messenger (Muhammad صلى الله عليه وسلم) confirming what is with you; you must, then, believe in him and help him.’ Allaah said: ‘Do you agree (to it) and will you take up My Covenant (which I conclude with you)?’ They said: ‘We agree.’ He said: ‘Then bear witness; and I am with you among the witnesses (for this).’
82. Then whoever turns away after this, they are the Faasiqoon (rebellious: those who turn away from Allaah’s obedience).
83. Do they seek other than the religion of Allaah (the true Islamic Monotheism __ worshipping none but Allaah Alone), while to Him submitted all creatures in the heavens and the earth, willingly or unwillingly. And to Him shall they all be returned.”
[Aal ‘Imraan 3:81-83]. 
And the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) told us that whoever hears of him but does not follow him or believe in him, Allah will forbid Paradise to him: 
It was narrated from Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) that the Messenger of Allaah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “By the One in Whose hand is the soul of Muhammad, no one among this nation, Jew or Christian, hears of me then dies not believing in that with which I was sent, but he will be one of the people of the Fire.”
Narrated by Muslim, 153. 
Imam al-Nawawi (may Allah have mercy on him) said: 
The words of the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him), “no one among this nation… hears of me… ” mean: anyone who is alive during my lifetime and afterwards, until the Day of Resurrection; all of them are obliged to obey me. He only mentioned the Jews and Christians by way of example, but it includes all others, because the Jews and Christians have a Scripture; if this is the case with regard to them, even though they have a Scripture, then it applies even more so to those who did not have a Scripture. And Allah knows best. Sharh Muslim. 
4.
We understand very well the difficulty of the circumstances in which you find yourself, and we ask Allah, may He be glorified and exalted, to make things easy for you and to grant you relief and a way out from the situation that you are in. But even though your situation is difficult, it is not confusing or unclear. First and foremost, you are enjoined to obey Allah, may He be glorified and exalted, in that which He has enjoined upon you. So do what He has enjoined upon you of acts of worship and avoid that which He has forbidden to you of haraam things. This alone is the way of guidance. Allah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“Say: Obey Allaah and obey the Messenger, but if you turn away, he (Messenger Muhammad صلى الله عليه وسلم) is only responsible for the duty placed on him (i.e. to convey Allaah’s Message) and you for that placed on you. If you obey him, you shall be on the right guidance. The Messenger’s duty is only to convey (the message) in a clear way (i.e. to preach in a plain way)”
[al-Noor 24:54]. 
Even though you are enjoined to treat your parents kindly and keep good company with them, even if they are disbelievers, that does not mean that you should disobey your Lord in order to please them or that you should put obedience towards them before obedience towards Allah, may He be exalted; rather obedience towards Allah and obedience towards His Messenger takes precedence over all things and over obedience towards anyone. Allah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And We have enjoined on man to be good and dutiful to his parents; but if they strive to make you join with Me (in worship) anything (as a partner) of which you have no knowledge, then obey them not. Unto Me is your return and I shall tell you what you used to do”
[al-‘Ankaboot 29:8]. 
Ibn Katheer (may Allah have mercy on him) said: 
Here Allah, may He be exalted, is commanding His slaves to treat parents kindly, after urging them to adhere to Tawheed (belief in His Oneness), because the parents are the reason why a person exists and he is obliged to treat them with the utmost kindness. But despite this injunction to be kind, compassionate and good towards them in return for their previous kind treatment, He says “but if they strive to make you join with Me (in worship) anything (as a partner) of which you have no knowledge, then obey them not”, meaning: If they try to make you follow them in their religion, if they are mushrikeen, then beware of doing so and do not obey them in that, for you will all return to Me on the Day of Resurrection, and I will reward you for your kindness towards them and your patience in adhering to your religion, and I will gather you with the righteous, not with the group of your parents, even if you were the closest of people to them in this world, because on the Day of Resurrection, each person will be gathered with those whom he loves, namely spiritual love. Hence Allah says (interpretation of the meaning): “And for those who believe (in the Oneness of Allaah and the other articles of Faith) and do righteous good deeds, surely, We shall make them enter with (in the entrance of) the righteous (in Paradise)” [al-‘Ankaboot 29:9]. End quote.
Tafseer Ibn Katheer, 6/264-265 
The Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “There is no obedience if it involves disobedience towards Allaah; obedience is only in that which is right and proper.”
Narrated by al-Bukhaari (7257) and Muslim (1840). 
And he (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “There is no obedience to any created being if it involves disobedience to Allah, may He glorified and exalted.”
Narrated by Ahmad (1089); classed as saheeh by al-Albaani. 
Based on that: if anything your parents tell you to do contradicts the command of Allah and His Messenger, then do not obey your parents; rather you should give precedence to obeying Allah and His Messenger. There is nothing wrong with that. 
But this does not mean that all the rights of your parents over you are waived; rather Allah, may He be exalted, enjoins treating them kindly and in a good manner despite that. Allah, may He be exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning):
“But if they (both) strive with you to make you join in worship with Me others that of which you have no knowledge, then obey them not; but behave with them in the world kindly, and follow the path of him who turns to Me in repentance and in obedience. Then to Me will be your return, and I shall tell you what you used to do”
[Luqmaan 31:15]. 
We believe that what we have explained to you of the Islamic view of this problem will be sufficient to offer you a solution, at least from a theoretical point of view. 
5.
But there remains the practical aspect, which is the most difficult aspect of your problem, because of your particular circumstances and the fact that you are very young, which means that you cannot be independent and do what you think is correct. You should remember that Allah will not give you a burden that is greater than what you are able to bear. Allah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“Allaah burdens not a person beyond his scope”
[al-Baqarah 2:286]
“Allaah puts no burden on any person beyond what He has given him”
[al-Talaaq 65:7]
“So keep your duty to Allaah and fear Him as much as you can”
[al-Taghaabun 64:16]
And the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “If I command you to do something, then do as much of it as you can.”
Narrated by al-Bukhaari (6858) and Muslim (1337). 
And the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “Allaah has forgiven my ummah for mistakes and forgetfulness, and what they are forced to do.”
Narrated by Ibn Maajah (2045) and classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh ibn Maajah. 
6.
As that is the case, you have to strive to do everything you can of the Islamic obligations and avoid everything that you can of haraam things. You have to hasten to do that as much as you are able. If they tell you not to pray in front of them, then pray behind their backs. If they tell you not to wear complete hijab or you are not able to get any Islamic clothing, then make your clothing as close as possible to Islamic clothing, even if you learn how to make that for yourself or something close to it. If they ask you to go to church, then make any excuse not to go and avoid it as much as possible; make up excuses which will get you out of that. Not all Christians in the West, or in the East, go to church; rather it is very few among them who do that. 
Similarly, try to avoid parties in which there is dancing and singing, and to avoid anything they tell you to do which involves sin, by means of any excuse that you can make up. If they force you to attend parties, then avoid dancing, especially if that is with men or in the presence of men. Pretend to be sick or anything else that will get you out of it. 
Whatever they force you to do of haraam things, then do the minimum of it. Make your clothes as covering as possible and on their special occasions do not stay at their parties until the end. And do the same with regard to all haraam things. 
In general, strive to do whatever you can of Islamic rituals and to avoid whatever you can avoid. If they force you to do anything of that nature, then do it outwardly only, and let your heart always be connected to Allah and remembrance of Him, until Allah grants you a way out of your situation. Be optimistic that a way out will come soon and that after hardship comes ease:
“And whosoever fears Allaah and keeps his duty to Him, He will make a way for him to get out (from every difficulty).
3. And He will provide him from (sources) he never could imagine. And whosoever puts his trust in Allaah, then He will suffice him. Verily, Allaah will accomplish his purpose. Indeed Allaah has set a measure for all things”
[al-Talaaq 65:2-3]
7.
We advise you to keep in touch with Muslim sisters, whether in real life or through the Internet. We also advise you to contact Islamic websites that will help you with your religious commitment and from which you can learn to strengthen your faith and increase your knowledge. If you can get in touch with an Islamic centre that is close to you, that will be very good in sha Allah. Perhaps, because of their experience of the local region and familiarity with a lot of these problems, they will be able to offer more practical help and solutions than we are able to. 
8.
Remember that some of those who came to Islam before you went through difficult circumstances, as they were punished and beaten by their parents and deprived of their human rights, but they bore that hardship with patience for the sake of Allah until the help of Allah came to them and Allah saved them from that situation and they prevailed by the blessing and grace of Allah and became victorious. So do not despair because of what has happened to you and do not be upset by your situation, for Allah is taking care of you and He hears and sees all. Be steadfast in adhering to guidance and truth as those who came before you were patient. Remember that this is a test from Allah to show the sincerity of your faith and He will give you the best reward for it in this world and in the Hereafter. Perhaps Allah will send His help and support to you sooner rather than later. 
9.
Your parents need you to save them from the fire of Hell and the wrath of Allah, so we advise you to show them the best image of a true Muslim woman, by treating them kindly, honouring them, speaking gently to them, taking care of their food and drink and serving them. Perhaps they will think again and reduce the pressure on you or stop it altogether. We also advise you to pray sincerely and ask Allah to guide them to Islam and bless them with faith, for that is not difficult for Allah. Listen to this story: 
Muslim (2491) narrated that Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) said: I used to call my mother to Islam when she was a mushrik. I called her one day and she said to me something about the Messenger of Allaah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) that I disliked. I came to the Messenger of Allaah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) weeping, and said: O Messenger of Allaah, I have been calling my mother to Islam but she refuses. I called her today and she said to me something about you that I disliked. Pray to Allaah to guide the mother of Abu Hurayrah. The Messenger of Allaah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “O Allaah, guide the mother of Abu Hurayrah.” I went out, feeling optimistic because of the du’aa’ of the Prophet of Allaah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him). When I came near the door, I found it closed. My mother heard my footsteps and said: Stay where you are, O Abu Hurayrah! I heard the sound of water. She did ghusl then she put on her chemise and quickly put on her head cover, then she opened the door and said: O Abu Hurayrah, I bear witness that there is no god but Allaah and I bear witness that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger. He said: I went back to the Messenger of Allaah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) and I came to him, weeping with joy. I said: O Messenger of Allaah, be of good cheer, for Allaah has answered your prayer and has guided the mother of Abu Hurayrah. He praised and glorified Allaah and said good things. 
10.
We do not advise you to run away or leave home, because the bad consequences of that greater than the bad consequences of staying at home, and because anyone who offers you refuge may expose himself to the most severe punishment under the unjust law of your country. We can offer you no advice except to be patient and stop thinking about running away from home. 
We ask Allah, the Most High and All Powerful, to make you steadfast in following guidance and to grant you well being both spiritual and physical; we ask Him to guide your parents to Islam and to give you the joy of seeing them as righteous believers in this world and in the Hereafter. 
We hope that you will keep in touch with us, for we all your family and your brothers. Perhaps, as the result of the prayers of your brothers and sisters who read your story, Allah will benefit you thereby and grant you a way out of hardship by His blessing. 
And Allah is the source of strength.

Praise be to Allah.
Proof that a person is in good mental health and treats
others well does not require the testimony of a doctor. What matters is what
people see of a man, not the papers he produces.  

Hence if the accusations of your wife’s family are based on
things that they have seen you do or words that they have heard you speak,
then they may have a reason. You have to sort yourself out and mend your
ways so that there will be nothing for others to judge you by.  

If what they said about you has no real basis, rather it is
false and sinful testimony, then we think that you should advise them and
explain to them that their false accusation against you is sinful, and tell
them how that has caused division between you and your wife. If they recant,
then all well and good, otherwise you should shun them, and not let them
visit you or let your wife visit them, lest they turn her against you. 

With regard to your intention of taking a second wife, what
we advise you is to wait and to examine the real motive for that, because
often in such cases the decision is based on the desire for revenge against
the first wife and her family because of the trouble they caused, and
usually when a man marries with this attitude it leads to trouble for the
second wife too, if the husband has not set things straight with his first
wife and her family. 

If you have not set things straight between you and your wife
and her family, we think that if you want to take a second wife, you should
let the first wife go and divorce her, or you can keep the first wife if you
intend to keep both wives if Allaah guides her (the first wife). We also
advise you to have a good intention and try to do the right thing, for
Allaah says concerning spouses between whom there are difficulties
(interpretation of the meaning): 

“if they both wish for peace, Allaah will cause their
reconciliation. Indeed Allaah is Ever All‑Knower, Well‑Acquainted with all
things”

[al-Nisa’ 4:35]
We advise you to fear
Allaah with regard to every step you take and not to let this problem cause
you to treat her unjustly or to keep reminding her of mistakes that she made
but that she has apologized for.

 We ask Allaah to set your affairs straight and to make it easy for both of you to do the right thing. And Allaah is the Source of strength.

Praise be to Allah.
In the earliest days, the Muslims used to have slaves, female
and male, who used to serve them. Slavery was abolished [in Saudi Arabia] in
1386 AH, and there are no slaves any more. The people began to bring female
servants from some other countries such as the Philippines, Sri Lanka etc.
In this situation the people had no choice but to bring servants. It is
permissible for a woman to bring a servant, but she should make sure that
she is a Muslim and that she is trustworthy and there is no fear of her
causing harm, and that she adheres to the rulings of Islam, is modest and
observes hijaab; she should avoid meeting men, and if any man enters the
house she should wear hijaab as women do in front of non-mahram men. Bringing such a servant should be the matter of necessity, and when the wife is able to do without her, she should be sent back to her family. (If these conditions are met), then it is permissible to bring servants according to need.

Praise be to Allah.What happened, happened,
and now it is over according to what you say. Now you have no option but to
learn a lesson for the future, to choose suitable husbands for your
daughters and suitable wives for your sons. You have ahead of you the rest
of the days that Allaah has decreed for you, so do not be preoccupied with
grief, regret and sorrow, because that will not do you any good. Take care
of yourself and turn away from that which will harm you and make you waste
your life with no benefit. 
It is essential that you
conceal this from your children, because no interest will be served by their
knowing about it. 
Strive to teach your
children the ‘aqeedah (beliefs) of Ahl al-Sunnah wa’l-Jamaa’ah, and give
them a sound upbringing. 
Seek reward for your
calamity with your Creator, and strive to do righteous deeds that will
benefit you and your children. Do not pay any attention to the past, because
it is behind you. Nothing can help except forgetting about him and doing
that which will help and benefit you in spiritual and worldly terms. 
We ask Allaah to compensate
you with good and to relieve you of worry and grief. 
And Allaah knows best.