Tag: Q n A

Praise be to Allah.Firstly: 
There is no doubt that the mother has the greatest rights of all people over her son, and that honouring her is one of the most important duties. Allah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And that you be dutiful to your parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of disrespect, nor shout at them but address them in terms of honour”
[al-Isra’ 17:23]. 
Allah has enjoined kind treatment of others too, whom the individual is enjoined to treat kindly, as Allah says (interpretation of the meaning): “Worship Allaah and join none with Him (in worship); and do good to parents, kinsfolk, orphans, Al-Masaakeen (the poor), the neighbour who is near of kin, the neighbour who is a stranger, the companion by your side, the wayfarer (you meet), and those (slaves) whom your right hands possess. Verily, Allaah does not like such as are proud and boastful”[al-Nisa’ 4:36] and the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) has enjoined giving everyone who has rights their due [See: Saheeh al-Bukhaari, 1968]. Hence the rights of the parents, especially the mother, take precedence over the rights of all people. 
It was narrated that Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) said: A man came to the Messenger of Allaah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) and said: Which of the people is most deserving of my good companionship? He said: “Your mother.” He said: Then who? He said: “Then your mother.” He said: Then who? He said: “Then your mother.” He said: Then who? He said: “Then your father.”
Narrated by al-Bukhaari (5971) and Muslim (2548). 
But this does not mean that a person should not give other people their rights; rather he has to give everyone who has rights his due, as stated above, and he has to strike a balance between these rights and fulfil his duties to the people around him as best he can and know how to run his home and his affairs well. 
Secondly: 
These problems between the wife and the mother are a common and ancient problem. The wise man who is guided is the one who looks at his situation positively and reduces problems as much as he can and closes the door to them. For this reason one of the rights that the wife has over her husband is that he should provide her with separate accommodation. 
It says in al-Mawsoo‘ah al-Fiqhiyyah (25/109): 
Putting the parents and the wife together in one home is not permissible (and the same applies to other relatives). Hence the wife has the right to refuse to live with either of them, because it is her right to have separate accommodation where she feels safe with regard to herself and her property. No one has the right to force her to do that. 
This is the view of the majority of Hanafi, Shaafa‘i and Hanbali fuqaha’. 
The Maalikis are of the view that a distinction should be made between the wife of noble birth and the wife of lowly birth, and they say that it is not permissible to make the wife of noble birth and the parents live together in the same house, but doing that is permissible with a wife of lowly birth, unless making the wife of lowly birth and the parents live together will cause her some harm. End quote. 
Undoubtedly the picture that you have painted of the relationship between your mother and your wife dictates that their living together in one house is not possible and that separating them is obligatory, especially since the mother is the one who has asked for that. So you must hasten to do that and it is not wise to think of the other solution, which is divorcing your wife. This is not a solution to the problem, especially if you have any children from her. Moreover the problem may arise again with any other wife whom you bring to live with your mother in the same house. 
So what you should do is hasten to do this as soon as you can, which is looking for a separate house for you and your wife. If you want to be close to your mother, so that you can be in constant touch with her and take care of her, then try to find your new house as close as possible to your mother’s house, so that you can pop in to see her every time you come or go. In this way you can treat your mother kindly, relieve her of the burden of problems with your wife and keep in constant touch with her, whilst at the same time doing what you are obliged to do for your wife of treating her kindly and giving her accommodation that is suited for her. 
See the answer to question number 97810 . 
We ask Allah to guide you and set your affairs straight. 
And Allah knows best.

Praise be to Allah.
Firstly: 

We praise Allah, may He be exalted, and thank Him for guiding
this girl to enter Islam, and we ask Him to make her steadfast in adhering
to truth and guidance, and to increase her in guidance and steadfastness. 

Secondly: 

Marriage of a Muslim woman to a kaafir man is undoubtedly
haraam and it is an invalid contract, but it is not kufr if a Muslim woman
does that and marries a kaafir man, even though it is haraam for her. Allah
says (interpretation of the meaning): “then if you ascertain that they
[Muslim women] are true believers send them not back to the disbelievers”
[al-Mumtahanah 60:10]. 

Ibn Katheer (may Allah have mercy upon him) said: 

This verse is the one that made it haraam for Muslim women to
marry mushrik men. It was permissible at the beginning of Islam for a
mushrik to marry a believing woman. Hence Abu’l-‘Aas ibn al-Rabee‘ married
the daughter of the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him)
Zaynab (may Allah be pleased with her), when she was a Muslim and he was a
follower of his people’s religion. 

Tafseer Ibn Katheer, 8/93 

In al-Mawsoo‘ah al-Fiqhiyyah (7/133) it says: 

It is not permissible for a Muslim woman to marry a
non-Muslim man, even if he is a dhimmi or a kitaabi (one of the people of
the Book, i.e. a Jew or a Christian). This is according to the consensus of
the fuqaha’, because Allah says (interpretation of the meaning): “And
give not (your daughters) in marriage to Al‑Mushrikoon till they believe (in
Allaah Alone)” [al-Baqarah 2:221] and “send them not back to the
disbelievers. They are not lawful (wives) for the disbelievers nor are the
disbelievers lawful (husbands) for them” [al-Mumtahanah 60:10]. 

End quote. 

Thirdly: 

If the family of this girl insist on marrying her to that
kaafir, we think that she should state openly that she is a Muslim and seek
help with one of the trustworthy Islamic centres or a trustworthy Muslim
family, until she finds a Muslim husband to marry her, then she can live
with him. The timing of showing her Islam openly and leaving her family,
whichever comes first, depends on her evaluation of her own circumstances.
If she is afraid that if her family find out about her being Muslim they
will detain her or prevent her from running away for the sake of her
religion, or they will force her to go back to kufr or to marry a kaafir,
then in this case we advise her to leave them first and go to another place
where she will be safe, either under the protection of the government in her
country if they offer protection in such cases, or under the care of one of
the Islamic centres in her country. 

Muslims are excused for staying among the kuffaar and not
practising their religion openly if they are weak and oppressed among them
and cannot leave and flee from them. But the one who finds a way out no
longer has this excuse, so it is not permissible for him to stay among the
kuffaar, not in their house or in their country. If he can find a safe
refuge in the same country, he should move there from his house, but if the
country itself is not safe, he should move from his house to another country
where his life will be safe and he will be able to practice his religion
openly. 

With regard to mere fear about the family’s reputation, this
is not a valid excuse unless her religious commitment and her life are in
danger because of it. 

Who knows? Perhaps showing her religion openly will bring a
great deal of good to her and her family, and some of her family members may
become Muslim. This is what has happened with other sisters who showed their
Islam openly. And Allah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“it may be that you dislike a thing and Allaah brings through
it a great deal of good” [al-Nisa’ 4:19]. 

Whatever the case, we know that the situation is difficult
for this girl, but her religion requires her to do whatever she can in order
to adhere to it and practice it openly, and not fall into haraam. 

We ask Allah to relieve her distress and take away the
calamity and to guide her family to Islam. And we ask Him, may He be
exalted, to bless her with a righteous husband and good offspring. 

See also the answers to questions no.
129423 and
69752. 

Fourthly: 

We should point out a number of things: 

1.

If a Muslim man marries her, it is essential for her to have
a wali (guardian) who will do the marriage contract for her, because there
is no wilaayah (guardianship) for a kaafir – even if he is a kitaabi (Jew or
Christian) – over a Muslim woman. If there is a Muslim man among her family,
then he is her wali. If there is no Muslim man among her family, then the
Muslim qaadi (judge) or mufti or official in charge of Muslim affairs, or
the director of the Islamic centre to which she goes or gets married in, may
act as her wali. 

For more information on that please see the answers to
questions no.69752,
389 and
7989. 

2.

We should point out to you that it is not permissible for you
to have a relationship with this girl, as she is a stranger (non-mahram) to
you. If you want to help her – which is obligatory for you if you are able
to – then help her to find some Muslim sisters who can take care of her, or
a trustworthy Muslim family with whom she could live, or offer her your help
and advice through your wife, if you are married, or through your sister or
mother. 

Do not remain in a relationship with her, because you are a
stranger (non-mahram) to her, and Islam forbids such relationships. 

We have drawn attention to this matter in a number of
answers. See the answers to questions no.
78375,
34841,
23349,
20949,
26890 and
82702. 

And Allah knows best.

Praise be to Allah.
Firstly: 

Allah has permitted a man to have several wives, and has
forbidden men to mistreat their wives. If a man wants to have more than one
wife, then he can keep the first wife on a decent and reasonable basis, or
he can let her go in a kindly manner. It is not permissible for him to keep
her married to him whilst forsaking her and not giving her her rights. It is
not permissible for him to be negligent with regard to his family and the
upbringing of his children. Plural marriage has not been prescribed in order
to destroy families, rather it is prescribed to build families and increase
their numbers. 

This forsaking of his wife and negligence is haram for him,
even if he had another wife according to sharee’ah, so how about if he is
forsaking his wife and neglecting his family for an illegitimate reason such
as a haram relationship and corrupt desires? 

Secondly: 

The wife has the right to ask for a divorce from her husband
if she cannot bear his bad treatment. This does not mean that she does not
accept the decree of Allah. Indeed in some cases it may be haram for her
to stay with a husband who commits major sins and whose children are not
safe from his evil influence and bad treatment. As divorce is allowed in
Islam and it may even be obligatory to ask for a divorce in some cases,
there is no need to think that this may go against belief in the divine will
and decree, because Allah has decreed both marriage and divorce. 

The wife has the right to live with her husband and be
treated in a decent and reasonable manner, and to have a husband with whom
she can feel happy and who will be like a garment for her, so that there
will be love and compassion between them. This is the reason for which
marriage was prescribed, and if anything detracts from what we have
mentioned, then it is contrary to the reason for which marriage was
prescribed. 

Hence the husband should choose a woman who is
religiously-committed, and fathers and guardians should marry their
daughters and female relatives under their care to men who are
religiously-committed and of good character, because if the Muslim household
is established on the basis of the laws of Allah, no wrongdoing or cruelty
will be seen in it. If a wife dislikes her husband for a legitimate shar’i
reason, then she can ask for divorce (talaq) or can divorce him by khul’,
and if he dislikes her he can divorce her by talaq and give her her rights
in full. He should either retain her on reasonable terms or release her with
kindness.  

If divorce takes place, then Allah may decree that she finds
a good, righteous husband, as He says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“But if they separate
(by divorce), Allah will provide abundance for everyone of them from His
Bounty”

[al-Nisa 4:130] 

Thirdly: 

Some women stay and put up with their husbands because of the
possibility that Allah may reform them, or so that he will remain in
contact with his children and take care of them and spend on them. If a long
time goes by and he does not reform or he mistreats his wife and children
too much, and she has sufficient money to spend on herself and her children,
then there is no point in her staying with him. Rather the right thing to do
is to rid herself of him so that she can live a better and more decent life,
and raise her children to obey Allah and His Messenger (peace and
blessings of Allah be upon him). 

You should take stock of yourself and repent to Allah for
any sins or transgressions that you may have committed against the rights of
Allah or the rights of your husband, or anyone else. Perhaps what has
happened to you may be a punishment for a sin that you have committed,
because Allah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“And whatever of misfortune befalls you, it is because of
what your hands have earned. And He pardons much”

[al-Shoora 42:30] 

Think long and hard about your situation and how likely it is
that you may find a husband after him or live a peaceful life without him.
Consult people around you who are close to you and are sincere. I advise
you, if they agree with you, to divorce him if the situation is as you
describe in your question. So pray istikharah and ask Allah for guidance,
and if you feel at ease with the idea of divorce then go ahead, and ask
Allah to make you independent of means by His bounty. We ask Allah to set
your affairs straight and to relieve your distress and reconcile between you
if that is better for you both. 

And Allah knows best.

Praise be to Allah.
Perhaps your forgetfulness – or your weak memory – is a
result of giving birth, as your doctor said. This is not something to worry
about. Or this forgetfulness may be caused by sin, because sins result in
punishments that affect the heart and the body. Imaam Ibn al-Qayyim (may
Allaah have mercy on him) mentioned more than sixty punishments for sin in
his book al-Daa’ wa’l-Dawa’. 
So if a person feels that
he is losing some blessing, he should hasten to repent to Allaah. Allaah
says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“That is so because Allaah will never change a grace which
He has bestowed on a people until they change what is in their ownselves”

[al-Anfaal 8:53]

If a person makes a promise then forgets it unintentionally,
there is no sin on him, because Allaah has forgiven this ummah for what they
forget, as is indicated by the texts. For example, the last two verses of
Soorat al-Baqarah (interpretation of the meaning): 

“Our Lord! Punish us not if we forget or fall into error”

[al-Baqarah 2:286]

And Allaah has said: “I have done that.” (Narrated by
Muslim) 

There are also means that will help you to remember
appointments, such as using a diary (in book or electronic form) to record
appointments by day and date. This is a means which is proven to work. How
many people forget their appointments, but they organize them by using these
reminders. 

Another means is using an electronic alarm clock or a mobile
phone to remind you of the time of an appointment… and other modern means
that are available. 

There are also audio reminders on which you can record
appointments and it will speak to remind you of the appointment. 

Each person must pay as much attention as possible to this
matter, because breaking promises is one of the signs of the hypocrites, as
it says in the hadeeth: “There are four characteristics, whoever has them is
a pure hypocrite, and whoever has one of them has one of the attributes of
hypocrisy until he gives it up: when he speaks, he lies; when he makes a
pledge he betrays it; when he makes a promise he breaks it; and when he
disputes he resorts to obscene speech.”

 (Narrated by Muslim, 53)

 Keeping appointments is one of the signs of the people of
faith.

 Similarly those who miss appointments for a reason such as that mentioned in the question should explain their reasons to the other party involved, so that he will not be offended. We ask Allaah to protect us and you from all kinds of evil. And Allaah is the Source of strength.

Praise be to Allah.
Firstly: 

We ask Allaah to make your heart steadfast in adhering to
Islam, and to guide you to the best of actions and words, and to make
goodness easy for you, and to bless you with a righteous husband who will
help you to adhere steadfastly to His religion. 

Secondly: 

There is nothing wrong with a woman asking for marriage from
a righteous man who will help her to adhere to her religion. We have stated
that in the answer to question number
20916. 

But we advise you not to ask for that from this imam, for two
reasons: 

1.So as to preserve the dignity
of this imam before the people and to preserve your dignity, because your
first husband has spread the rumour that he (the imam) is the reason for the
separation between him and you, and if you marry him that will reinforce
this rumour and confirm it, which would lead to bad consequences for both of
you.

2.The marriage could fail or be
faced with problems if news of your marriage reaches the authorities in your
country. The one who tells them could be your first husband, seeking revenge
against you. The Muslim should not be the cause of harm to himself or to
others.

Hence we advise you to avoid thinking of this imam as a
husband for you. The good qualities that you see in him may be found in
someone else, and may be even greater. May Allaah make it easy for you to
find a righteous husband who is better than him, sooner rather than later. 

You could ask him to help you to look for a suitable husband
for you. 

If Allaah makes it easy for you to find a righteous husband,
then it is essential to have a guardian with regard to your marriage. As you
do not have anyone in your family who is Muslim, so none of them can act as
your guardian, then your guardian should be the imam of the Islamic centre
or some other Muslim who has standing in society and is known for religious
commitment, trustworthiness and wisdom. There is nothing wrong with
appointing this imam as your guardian to do the marriage contract for you, 

Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (may Allaah have mercy on him)
said: 

If the one who should be the guardian with regard to marriage
is not able to perform this function, then guardianship passes to the most
suitable of those who can be found, who have a kind of guardianship with
regard to matters other than marriage, such as the chief of the village,
leader of a caravan and so on. End quote. 

Al-Ikhtiyaaraat al-Fiqhiyyah, p.
530. 

See also the answer to question number
389. 

We advise you to be patient in putting up with the mockery of
your family because of your becoming Muslim, and do not give up calling them
to the goodness that Allaah has made easy for you; and persist in praying
for them to be guided, for Allaah may answer your supplication and guide
them to the truth to which He guided you. 

And Allaah knows best.

Praise be to Allah.
It is obvious that there has been a misunderstanding between this man and his wife’s family, and that they want him to divorce her. It is essential to find out the wife’s point of view. If she wants a divorce then he has to try to change her mind by tackling the cause of the problem. Otherwise he may divorce her, and perhaps Allaah will compensate each of them with someone who is better than the other. He should however, avoid discussing the issue of her betraying him. But if his wife does not want a divorce then he should treat his wife well and seek refuge with Allaah from the accursed Shaytaan, and he should not pay any attention to the doubts for which he has no proof. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be
upon him) said that there is gheerah (protective jealousy) that Allaah loves and there is gheerah which Allaah hates. The gheerah that Allaah loves is gheerah which is cause for doubt, and the gheerah that Allaah hates is gheerah when there is no cause for suspicion.

Praise be to Allah.
This is a problem that often happens. You are not alone in
your suffering. The root of the problem, in my view, is the fact that the
husband was not able to see his fiancée fully in the manner prescribed in
sharee’ah, by sitting with her – but not being alone with her, of course –
and looking closely at her and even asking to see her again at another time.
 

Yes, you made a great mistake when you felt put off by this
girl at the time of engagement but you went ahead with the marriage.  It
would have been better for you not to take a risk in such matters, because
the one who wants to get married should feel completely at ease with his
choice and not hesitant, so what about one who feels discontent as in your
case? 

The real problem you face now is that this girl loves you and
respects you, and she is giving you all your rights and more. She has also
gotten pregnant from you.  If that were not the case, we would not hesitate
to advise you to leave her.  

Even more unfortunate than that is the fact that her life has
been turned into an unbearable hell. She cannot help weeping when she thinks
of her situation and how her hopes of finding a husband with whom to share
love and happiness have been dashed. 

Yes, this is something decreed by Allaah and a real fact that
we have to acknowledge and live with, namely that sometimes spouses do not
get along and divorce takes place, and the life of one or both of them is
wrecked as a result. You cannot live with all this pain except by means of
patience and seeking reward from Allaah, first of all, and secondly by
understanding the causes of failure. Hence you have your share of blame and
you have to bear part of the consequences of this matter, even if only a
little. You have to face up to the following: 

1 – Try to live with this girl and put up with her as much as
possible. At least wait until the child is born, and perhaps things will
change and your hatred will turn to love. 

2 – If your circumstances allow you to keep her whilst
looking for another wife who will make you happy and let you stay with your
first wife, and you can look after your children with her and spare them the
pain of separation and divorce, this is something that is worth thinking
about. 

3 – If the solutions suggested above will not work; if the
matter is beyind your control and your hatred for her increases and you are
no longer able to live with her, then divorce is allowed in sharee’ah in
such cases. 

The bitterness of divorce will be easier for her than the
ongoing misery of living with you, and perhaps she will find a husband with
whom she can be happy. And perhaps you will also find a wife with whom you
can be happy. 

Divorce – even though it is disliked – is the solution when
husband and wife cannot live amicably together. 

Try to think about these solutions, and think long and hard
about them. Do not be hasty. You should also turn to Allaah and ask Him to
guide you with regard to this matter, for He is close to His sincere slaves.
May Allaah help you and give you strength. 

Dr Muhammad ibn ‘Abd al-Rahmaan al-Sa’wi 

We remind you of the words of Allaah (interpretation of the
meaning): 

“and live with them honourably. If you dislike them, it
may be that you dislike a thing and Allaah brings through it a great deal of
good”

[al-Nisa’ 4:19] 

“and it may be that you dislike a thing which is good for
you”

[al-Baqarah 2:216]
 And the Messenger of
Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “No believing
man should hate a believing woman. If he dislikes one of her characteristics
he will be pleased with another.” Narrated by Muslim, 1469. 
What this means is that
it is not right for a believing man to hate a believing woman, because if he
notices a bad characteristic in her and dislikes her because of it, he will
find another, praiseworthy characteristic in her and will love her because
of it, such as if she is chaste or kind or obedient… etc. 
This applies if she has some characteristics that do not please him, so how about if she is carrying out her duties towards him in the most complete manner?.

Praise be to Allah.Firstly: 
You have made several mistakes and you opened the door to waswaas and suspicion when you had no need of any of that. We do not know in fact what made you, at such a young age, interpret what you found on your body in a bad way that caused you a great deal of anguish, and opened your eyes to different kinds of sin, so that you did that evil action a great deal. We ask Allah to guide us and you and keep us chaste. 
You made another mistake and wronged yourself, your household and your husband, when you opened the dark pages of the past and cast a shadow over your life with your husband; you told him about something that he did not know and did not ask you about, to torment him along with yourself with doubt and speculation, and anxiety and suspicion about you and your situation. May Allah set your affairs straight. 
You made a third mistake by swearing a false oath when you had no need to do so and we do not think that it benefitted you at all. You prayed against yourself that you would not be helped to be successful, when you knew that it was a false oath, and now you are saying that you are not successful in your life. Your story is very strange, and there was no need for all of that. 
Now, the first thing that you must do is repent to Allah from all that you have done in transgressing the rights of your Lord, the rights of your own self and the rights of your husband and household. You have to strive, as much as you can, to set straight the things that have been spoiled by your bad conduct and failure to understand matters properly. Explain to your husband that what happened was no more than mistaken thinking and conjecture that was an illusion that turned out to be wrong, and you were the one who opened the doors to waswaas and speculation. 
Strive to let him see that you are a truthful and righteous person and try to prove to him through your conduct that you have some dignity, so that his mind will be put at rest concerning you and he may be happy with you. 
Secondly: 
With regard to the oath that you swore, saying that you do not know this person who did what he did, as you think, this is a false oath (al-yameen al-ghamoos). Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allah have mercy on him) said: It is called ghamoos because it immerses (taghmis) the one who does that in sin and then in Hell, because the one who knowingly swears a false oath concerning a matter that is in the past — Allah forbid — has combined two things: lying, which is one of the attributes of the hypocrites, and taking the matter of swearing an oath by Allah lightly, which is one of the attributes of the Jews, because the Jews are the ones who showed disrespect to their Lord, and ascribed shortcomings to Him, therefore it is an oath that immerses a person in the Fire.”(Al-Sharh al-Mumti’, 15/130)
There is no expiation for this oath according to the correct scholarly view; rather what is required is to repent to Allah, may He be exalted, and seek His forgiveness. You must also beware of taking the matter of oaths lightly if you are telling the truth, so how about if you are lying?  
The Standing Committee was asked: 
I am a student in a Salafi Institute belonging to the Jamaa’at Ansaar al-Sunnah al-Muhammadiyyah in Kasla [?], and there is an Eritrean Muslim students union. There are major differences between the union and the jamaa’ah, hence doing activities with them is not allowed, but I participated with them. When the director of the institute found out, he asked me: Are you in the union? I said to him, No. He forced me to swear an oath so I did, but I was with them. Is this oath yameen ghamoos (a false oath) or do I have to offer expiation? Please note that if I had not been forced I would not have sworn an oath, but I regarded that as a case of necessity, because if I had told the truth he would have banned me from the Institute, and it is because of my keenness to seek knowledge that I did that. 
The Standing Committee replied: 
The oath that you mentioned was a yameen ghamoos, which is a major sin which cannot be expiated because of its seriousness. No expiation is prescribed for it according to the more correct of the two scholarly views; rather what is required is repentance and seeking forgiveness, so you have to repent and ask for forgiveness for it. End quote. Fatawa al-Lajnah al-Daa’imah, 23/133. 
Shaykh ‘Abd al-‘Azeez ibn Baz (may Allah have mercy on him) was asked: 
I have a brother who got a passport and he wants to get another one, and during the application process the official said to him: Do you swear that you do not have a previously issued passport? He did not see any Mushaf in front of the official, then the official took it out. My brother got scared and swore that he had not taken out any other passport. Please advise us on the ruling concerning this matter and whether he has to offer a sacrifice or is some other expiation sufficient? 
He (may Allah have mercy on him) replied: 
He has to repent to Allah, may He be glorified and exalted, just as any liar has to repent to Allah, and he has to be sincere in that and regret it, and not do it again. 
There is no expiation for a false oath according to the correct opinion. The expiation for vows has to do with those which refer to the future, for example if a person says “By Allah I will not do such and such” or “By Allah I will not speak to So and so.” As for the one who tells a lie, all he has to do is repent to Allah, regret what he has done and give up the sin, and he should sincerely resolve not to do that again, out of sincerity towards Allah and the desire for that which is with Him. Thus Allah will pardon him, because by means of sincere repentance Allah erases sin, as He says (interpretation of the meaning): “And all of you beg Allaah to forgive you all, O believers, that you may be successful” [Al-Noor 24:31].”(Majmoo’ Fatawa Ibn Baz, 23/115)
And Allah knows best.

Praise be to Allah.
We ask Allaah to help you and give you strength, and to guide
your husband aright. 

Undoubtedly by taking care of your children and being keen to
guide your husband, you are doing good and will be rewarded in sha Allaah,
for Allaah does not cause the reward of those who do good to be lost. 

Our advice to you is to keep on being patient and making
du’aa’ for your husband, and striving to guide him, through his parents, his
brothers and those who have any influence on him. If a man neglects his duty
towards his family he exposes himself to the wrath and anger of Allaah,
because he is neglecting that which Allaah has entrusted to his care. The
Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Each of you
is a shepherd and each of you is responsible for his flock. The ruler is the
shepherd of his people and is responsible for his flock. A man is the
shepherd of his family and is responsible for his flock….” This hadeeth was
narrated by al-Bukhaari, 893; Muslim, 1826, from Ibn ‘Umar. And the Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said of his household:
“Allaah will ask every shepherd about that which was entrusted to his care,
whether he took care of it or neglected it, and He will even ask a man about
his family.” Narrated by Ibn Hibbaan, classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in
Ghaayat al-Maraam, no. 271 

And he said: “It is sufficient sin for a man to neglect those
who are under his care.” Narrated by Ahmad and Abu Dawood from the hadeeth
of ‘Abd-Allaah ibn ‘Amr; classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh
al-Jaami’, no. 827. 
And he said: “There is no
man whom Allaah causes to be appointed to a position of responsibility and
he does not discharge his duties sincerely, but he will not even smell the
fragrance of Paradise.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 6731. 

We do not think that your husband would like to have this
warning directed at him, or that he would want his wife to spend on him and
take care of him. This is something that men instinctively dislike. 

You said that he sleeps and misses the prayers because he
stays up at night and wastes his time. This means that he is in grave danger
from another angle. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“Then, there has succeeded them a posterity who have given
up As‑Salah (the prayers) [i.e. made their Salah (prayers) to be lost,
either by not offering them or by not offering them perfectly or by not
offering them in their proper fixed times] and have followed lusts. So they
will be thrown in Hell”

[Maryam 19:59]
Ibn Mas’ood said that
al-Ghayy (translated here as “Hell”) is a valley in Hell that is very deep
and has an awful taste. 

And Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“. So woe unto those performers of Salaah (prayers),

5. Those who delay their Salaah (prayer from their stated
fixed times)”

[al-Maa’oon 107:4-5]

This refers to those who delay their prayers from the proper
times. But if he does not pray at all, then this is kufr which puts him
beyond the pale of Islam, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of
Allaah be upon him) said: “Between a man and shirk and kufr there stands his
giving up prayer.” Narrated by Muslim, 82. 

And he said: “The covenant that stands between us and them is
prayer. Whoever gives it up is a kaafir.” Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 2621;
al-Nasaa’i, 463; Ibn Maajah, 1079; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani. 

In that case you have to advise him, and if he persists in
not praying, then you have to prevent him from being intimate with you until
he repents and starts to pray.

 We ask Allaah to set the affairs of all the Muslims traight.

 And Allaah knows best.

Praise be to Allah.Facing difficulties with patience
We ask Allah to grant us and you well being, protection from all problems and healing from every disease. 
We advise you to be patient and seek reward with Allah, may He be glorified and exalted, for He loves those who are patient and rewards those who are grateful. Trials and tests are the divine decree for this world and that is a mercy for the believers and a punishment for the disbelievers. The Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “How wonderful is the situation of the believer, for all his affairs are good. This does not apply to anyone but the believer. If something good happens to him, he gives thanks for it and that is good for him; if something bad happens to him, he bears it with patience , and that is good for him.” (Narrated by Muslim, 2999)
It should also be noted that the matter requires some degree of effort and perseverance, as is the case with all psychological or social problems. It takes some gradual training to make oneself get used to something new or to keep away from something reprehensible. Each person knows his own self best and can devise the best approach to achieve the success and wellbeing he wants. 
What is insomnia?
Sleeplessness is a psychological problem which causes difficulty in sleeping, or interrupted sleep or light sleep. It is a modern disease that affects many people for various reasons, including psychological reasons such as pressure, worry, anxiety, waswas (whispers from the Shaytan) and so on. 
And some of its causes are physical because of problems in the function of some organs or the effects of some stimulant substances such as nicotine which is found in tobacco and caffeine which is found in coffee and tea, and other stimulants. 
Remedies for insomnia 
Depending on the reason that has led to this sickness, we can divide the types of remedies into three types: 

Shar‘i remedies

What is meant here is attaining the peace of mind that wards off all worries, anxieties and waswas. The hearts and minds that are filled with love of Allah, hope for His reward, fear of His punishment and focusing on Him are more steadfast than those which are preoccupied with matters of this world and ignore the Hereafter. 
Attaining this peace of mind is done by adhering to obligatory duties and avoiding sins which continue to eat away at the heart until a person finds himself lost in dark valleys, not knowing how he got there; then by showing kindness towards people by means of a good attitude and kind treatment; by being keen to read the Noble Quran and feel an attachment to the Book of Allah, may He be glorified and exalted, which He described in the following verse (interpretation of the meaning): “O mankind! There has come to you a good advice from your Lord (i.e. the Quran, enjoining all that is good and forbidding all that is evil), and a healing for that which is in your breasts, — a guidance and a mercy (explaining lawful and unlawful things) for the believers” [Yunus 10:57]. 
Other means include regularly reciting the adhkar (dhikr) and awrad (wird) narrated in shari‘ah, such as the adhkar for morning and evening , the adhkar to be recited when going to sleep and waking up and when eating and so on. Allah, may He be glorified and exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning): “Those who believed (in the Oneness of Allaah — Islamic Monotheism), and whose hearts find rest in the remembrance of Allah verily, in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find rest.” [al-Ra ‘d 13:28]
Moreover, all of that must be accompanied with humility in the heart towards Allah and feeling a sense of His love and closeness, along with sincerity towards Him in public and in private, hoping to attain the state of true servitude towards Him (‘ubudiyyah) which is the basis of success on the Day of Resurrection. 
On our website you will find a number of answers which will help you – in sha Allah – to implement the shar‘i remedy. Please see these answers: 45847 , 20130 , 21515 , 21677 , 21843 , 22704  and 30901 . 

Psychological remedies

This means trying to rid oneself of worries and anxiety. That can never be achieved except by believing sincerely in the transient and insignificant nature of this world, and that “If it were equal to a gnat’s wing before Allah He would never give a disbeliever a drink of water in it.” It is too insignificant for a Muslim to worry about what he has lost of it or to fear what may happen to him in it. That should also be accompanied by complete contentment with what Allah has decreed and acceptance of His will and decree. These are the means of the believer attaining honour and happiness. Taking these ideas on board requires some effort, repeatedly telling oneself of them, reading books that affirm them and studying and pondering the verses of the Noble Quran which mention them, until they take root in one’s heart and become second nature. 

Behavioural remedies

This is where one should seek advice from a doctor or psychologist, because some behavioural or physical causes may be unknown to people but are well known to skilled doctors with the knowledge that Allah has enabled them to acquire about the human psyche. You may find a remedy in some foods which help one to sleep properly. The doctor may also find out about some of your bad habits that lead to worry and sleeplessness. In some chronic and difficult cases of insomnia the doctor may also use some calming medicines which will reduce or ward off harm. 
Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymin says in Fatawa Nur ‘ala al-Darb (Fatawa Mutafarraqat/al-Waswas wa’l-Amrad al-Nafsiyyah): 
“The case mentioned by the questioner may be faced by many young people because of mental or physical exhaustion. The remedy for that is for the person to allow himself to rest and recuperate; to remember Allah a great deal and read Quran; to always seek refuge with Allah from the accursed Shaytan; to always ask for forgiveness because seeking forgiveness is one of the means of attaining good and warding off evil; to strive to keep company with good people like him, because a good companion is like the carrier of musk – he will either give you some or sell you some or you will find a good smell from him. He should try to keep away from that which he should not think about, because thinking of something may make a person move from imagining it to actually doing it, but if he tries to ignore it and forget it, then by Allah’s leave it will cease to trouble him.” 
Authenticity of hadiths about du’a for insomnia
We should not forget to point out here the weakness of the reports narrated by some scholars about adkhar to be recited just before going to sleep in order to free oneself from insomnia. Imam al-Nawawi included a chapter in his book al-Adhkar (p. 70) entitled: 
Bab ma yaqul idha qaliqa fi Firashihi fa lam yanam (What to say if one feels anxious in bed and cannot sleep): 
“We narrated in the book of Ibn al-Sunni that Zayd ibn Thabit (may Allah be pleased with him) said:
I complained to the Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) about insomnia that I was suffering from. He said: Say: O Allah, the stars have come out and eyes have closed, and You are the Ever Living, the One Who sustains and protects all that exists; neither slumber nor sleep overtakes You. O Ever-Living, O Sustainer, bring calm to my night and let my eyes sleep. O Allah, take away from me what I am suffering. 
And we narrated from Muhammad ibn Yahya ibn Habban from Khalid ibn al-Walid (may Allah be pleased with him) that he suffered from insomnia and he complained about that to the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him), and he told him, when going to sleep, to seek refuge in the perfect words of Allah from His anger and from the evil of His slaves and from the whisperings of the devils, lest they come near. This hadith is mursal; Muhammad ibn Yahya is a Tabi‘i. 
And we narrated in the book of al-Tirmidhi, in a da‘if report that was classed as such by al-Tirmidhi, that Buraydah (may Allah be pleased with him) said: Khalid ibn al-Walid (may Allah be pleased with him) complained to the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him): O Messenger of Allah, I cannot sleep at night because of insomnia. The Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: When you go to your bed, say: O Allah, Lord of the seven heavens and what they shade, Lord of the seven earths and what they contain, Lord of the devils and what they misguide, be a protection for me from the evil of all Your creation, lest any of them wrong me or transgress against me. The one who is under Your protection is honoured; may You be glorified and praised, there is no god beside You, there is no god but You.”
These hadiths are da‘if, as has been determined by the scholars such as Ibn Hajar in Nataij al-Afkar, 3/114 and al-Matalib al-‘Aliyah, 4/20; and by al-Albani in al-Silsilah al-Da’ifah, 2403, and others. 
And Allah knows best.