Tag: Q n A

Praise be to Allah.We will quote to you below a statement issued by the Fiqh Council (al-Majma’ al-Fiqhi) with regard to family planning: 
The meeting of the Fiqh Council held during its fifth conference in Kuwait 1-6 Jumaada al-Aakhir 1409 AH (10-15 December 1988) – after studying the research presented by members and experts on the subject of family planning, and listening to the debate that took place on this topic, and based on the fact that one of the objectives of marriage according to Islamic sharee’ah is to reproduce and preserve the human race, and that it is not permissible to undermine this objective, because undermining it goes against the texts and teachings of sharee’ah, which call for having many children, protecting them and taking care of them, because producing and caring for offspring is one of the five kulliyaat (holistic principles) which sharee’ah came to take care of – issued the following resolutions: 
1 – It is not permissible to issue laws that limit the freedom of couples to have children.
2 – It is haraam to remove the ability of men and women to have children, which is known as sterilization, so long as there is no need to do so according to shar’i principles.
3 – It is permissible to use temporary means of contraception in order to increase the gaps between pregnancies, or to stop them for a limited period of time, if there is a valid shar’i reason for doing so, based on the couple’s estimation and with mutual consultation and agreement, subject to the condition that this does not result in harm and that the means is acceptable according to sharee’ah and will not damage any existing pregnancy. 
And Allaah knows best. 
Resolution no. 38 (1/5), re: Family planning. 
See Majallat al-Majma’, vol. 1, p. 73) 
For more information see Question no. 7205

Praise be to Allah.My dear brother, how often we fail to look at things with a balanced view. How often we find problems in our daily lives that stem from the extremes of either concern or negligence. The one who seeks happiness and success in this world has to have a balanced approach without letting the one outweigh the other. In this manner he can strengthen his heart with faith and find peace of mind in doing that which he is required to do. What you are complaining of does not stem from ignorance of the root of the matter, rather it stems from the fact that you are focusing more on fear and the causes of fear and you are forgetting about being optimistic and not paying any attention to it. 
You know that death is an inevitable reality that will come to every living thing, and no one will be spared that, no matter how noble his status before Allah. Allah said to His Prophet, the noblest of all creation (interpretation of the meaning): 
“Verily, you (O Muhammad) will die, and verily, they (too) will die”
[al-Zumar 39:30]
And Allah says (interpretation of the meaning): 
“Everyone shall taste death. And only on the Day of Resurrection shall you be paid your wages in full. And whoever is removed away from the Fire and admitted to Paradise, he indeed is successful. The life of this world is only the enjoyment of deception (a deceiving thing)”
[Aal ‘Imraan 3:185]
And the poet said: 
Every son of a female, no matter how long he lives,
Will one day be carried on the bier. 
The positive kind of fear of death is that which make a person check himself and watch himself, and bring himself to task for bad deeds. This fear is that which makes a man keep away from sin and persist in praying for forgiveness and repenting. As for the kind of fear that makes a person panic, expect the worst and feel helpless, and discourages him from taking any action and prevents him from doing his duties, this is a negative and blameworthy kind of fear. The one who feels this has to strive hard to rid himself of it and put a stop to it. Perhaps this is what the questioner is feeling, and he thinks that this waswasah (whisper from the Shaytaan) is a warning of danger and a sign that the end is near. But this is not the case. All it is, is a whisper from the accursed Shaytaan, to cause distress to the believer and to make his life a misery, and there is nothing real behind it. This is why, when you went to the hospital for tests, they showed that you are in good health, which should make you feel better and give you peace of mind. Perhaps we can help you by telling you how to get rid of this waswasah (whisper from the Shaytaan), in the following ways: 
1 – Firmly implanting in your heart the belief that whatever Allah wills happens, and whatever He does not will does not happen. Allah says (interpretation of the meaning): 
“And you cannot will unless (it be) that Allah wills the Lord of the ‘Aalameen (mankind, jinn and all that exists)”
[al-Takweer 81:29]
Death is nothing but the decree of Allah which the son of Adam has no way of warding off or avoiding. Allah says (interpretation of the meaning): 
“Say (O Muhammad ): ‘I have no power over any harm or profit to myself except what Allah may will. For every Ummah, there is a term appointed; when their term comes, neither can they delay it nor can they advance it an hour (or a moment)’”
[Yoonus 10:49] 
“Wheresoever you may be, death will overtake you even if you are in fortresses built up strong and high”
[al-Nisa’ 4:78] 
As this is the case, then fear of death will not delay it or bring it forward, all you will get from your fear of death is misery and worries. Your appointed time will never come until Allah wills it, at the time that is known to Him, and you can never bring it forward, whether you fear death or not, whether you think about how your end will be or not. This is contrary to the life of peace, stability and tranquility that Allah wants for the believers. Allah says (interpretation of the meaning): 
“Whoever works righteousness — whether male or female — while he (or she) is a true believer (of Islamic Monotheism) verily, to him We will give a good life (in this world with respect, contentment and lawful provision), and We shall pay them certainly a reward in proportion to the best of what they used to do (i.e. Paradise in the Hereafter)”
[al-Nahl 16:97]
2 – Remembering the kindness and mercy of Allah towards His believing slaves, for He is Loving, Compassionate and Forgiving, the One Whose mercy prevails over His wrath, Who blesses the sinner with abundant forgiveness. Allah says (interpretation of the meaning): 
“Why should Allah punish you if you have thanked (Him) and have believed in Him. And Allah is Ever All‑Appreciative (of good), All‑Knowing”
[al-Nisa’ 4:147]
The believer is promised Paradise when he dies. There is nothing standing between him and Paradise but death. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “There is no person who bears witness that there is no god but Allah and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger, but Allah will forbid him to the Fire.” (Narrated by Muslim, 47). 
3 – Always putting your trust in Allah in all your affairs, and knowing that this trust (tawakkul) will ward off the whispers of the Shaytaan and put an end to them. Once you have resolved to do that, then do not look back. If you feel that these whispers are overwhelming you again, then turn to Allah and seek refuge in Him. Allah says (interpretation of the meaning): 
“And if an evil whisper comes to you from Shaytaan (Satan), then seek refuge with Allah. Verily, He is All-Hearer, All-Knower”
[al-A’raaf 7:200]
4 – Lift your head high and look forward; start your daily life with steadfastness and certainty, and approach all your actions with energy and peace of mind. How many good things there are in this world that fill hearts with contentment and tranquility and fill the heart with hope and certain faith. 
With regard to your question, what is going to happen to you and your family in the future, 
Subhaan-Allah (glory be to Allah)! 
Are you the one who created them? Are you the one who grants them provision? Are you the one who is taking care of their needs? 
No, it is Allah Who does all that, Who is more merciful towards them than you are. Have complete trust that Allah will never cause them to be lost, may He be glorified and praised. This matter is not up to you at all. If all the people thought in this way no one would have any peace of mind. But praise be to Allah Who has guaranteed provision for everyone. Allah says (interpretation of the meaning): 
“And no moving (living) creature is there on earth but its provision is due from Allah. And He knows its dwelling place and its deposit (in the uterus or grave). All is in a Clear Book (Al‑Lawh Al‑Mahfooz — the Book of Decrees with Allah)”
[Hood 11:6]
So cast these thoughts away from your mind. 
5 – You should make a lot of du’aa’ asking Allah to dispel this waswaas (whispers from the Shaytaan) from you. Pray to Him with all humbleness, expressing your weakness and need of Him. And rest assured that He will certainly answer you. Allah says (interpretation of the meaning): 
“And when My slaves ask you (O Muhammad) concerning Me, then (answer them), I am indeed near (to them by My Knowledge). I respond to the invocations of the supplicant when he calls on Me (without any mediator or intercessor). So let them obey Me and believe in Me, so that they may be led aright”
[al-Baqarah 2:186]
With regard to those who die as a result of accidents, the fact that they die in this manner does not mean that they are bad at all. Rather people who are counted among the righteous may die in this manner. Think about this hadeeth which will help you to resolve this matter. The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “The martyrs are five: those who are stabbed, those who die of a stomach disease, those who drown, those who are crushed by falling walls, and those who die in battle for the sake of Allah.” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, no. 615). 
Look at those who die by drowning, or by fire, or who are crushed by falling walls. Are these not frightening things? But that does not indicate that they are bad, rather the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) called them martyrs (shuhada’), which is the utmost honour. The way in which a person dies does not indicate that he is bad, but Allah in His wisdom decrees that some people should die in this manner. Perhaps that is in order to raise them in status in Paradise, or to expiate for some of their sins, or for some other reason that we do not know. 
We ask Allah to guide you to good deeds and positive thinking.

Praise be to Allah.My dear brother, I appreciate your confidence in me and I ask Allaah to make us and you strong and steadfast, and to guide us. With regard to your question, I offer the following comments: 
1 – The problem you have is not with regard to marrying a second wife, or divorcing your wife. The problem, as you mention, is a financial problem. So long as you are not able to marry another wife, then you should keep the wife with whom Allaah has blessed you. 
2 – Whenever you are able and have the financial means, and praise be to Allaah that He has permitted plural marriage to you… In my opinion that is easier for a woman to bear than divorce, especially since you have children from her. 
3 – Try to look at the matter from a different angle. You may find many positive things in her, and beauty is not everything, believe me. How she behaves and treats you… and many things which are ultimately more important than appearance. For with time you will get used to her appearance, and how she behaves will be what matters…  
4 – Imagine that you find a very beautiful woman and marry her… then she starts to treat you in an arrogant or impolite manner… or she treats you and your family badly… what would you do?! 
5 – You should be objective and not burden yourself with more than you can bear.  Look at the matter from different aspects. “it may be that you dislike a thing and Allaah brings through it a great deal of good” [al-Nisa’ 4:19 – interpretation of the meaning]. And remember the advice of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him): “Look for one [a wife] who is religiously committed, may your hands be rubbed with dust [i.e., may you prosper]!” 
May Allaah help you, protect you and make you steadfast in following the path of goodness and truth.

Praise be to Allah.
The
Muslim has to understand the importance of prayer and the necessity of
observing prayer regularly at the appointed times, fulfilling all the
conditions and pillars and essential parts of the prayer. Allah says
(interpretation of the meaning): 

“Verily, As-Salah (the prayer) is enjoined on the believers at fixed hours.”

[al-Nisa 4:103] 

It was
narrated that ‘Abd-Allah ibn Mas’ood (may Allah be pleased with him) said: I
asked the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him), “Which deed is
most beloved to Allah?” He said, “Prayer performed on time.” He said, “Then
what?” He said, “Honouring one’s parents.” He said, “Then what?” He said,
“Jihad (fighting) for the sake of Allah.” 

Narrated by al-Bukhari (504) and Muslim (85).

So it
is not permissible for the Muslim to delay his prayer beyond the time it is
due. Wudoo does not require a clean place. Even if we assume that it does,
the questioner could make sure that he has wudoo before coming to work and
keep his wudoo so that he can pray on time.

He has
to offer prayer on time. Looking for a clean place where he can perform the
prayer is not too difficult. Prayer is valid in any place on earth so long
as it is clean and pure. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon
him) said: “The earth has been made for me a place of prayer and
purification, so whenever the time of prayer comes for any man of my ummah,
let him pray.” Narrated by al-Bukhari, 335; Muslim, 521. Sharee’ah (Islamic
law) only excludes from this specific places in which prayer is not valid,
which include graveyards and bathrooms. The Prophet (peace and blessings of
Allah be upon him) said: “All the earth is a place of prostration apart from
graveyards and bathrooms.” Narrated by Abu Dawood, 492; classed as saheeh
(authentic) by al-Albani in Saheeh Abi Dawood. 

So the
workplace may be a place of prayer if it is clean. If it is not easy then he
should look for somewhere else. Asking his bosses to allocate a corner where
he can pray is not something that is difficult. 

Shaykh
al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah said:

If he
deliberately delays the prayer until the time is too short to meet all the
conditions and do all the essential parts of the prayer, such as if there is
some impure substance on him, or he is junub and delays the prayer so that
if he does ghusl the time for prayer will be over, then he has to purify
himself first, but he is a sinner because he is doing the prayer at the
wrong time. He should have purified himself before the time became too short
and prayed on time. When he delays it, then he has to do what is required in
the right sequence even though he is a sinner because of his delaying it.

Sharh
al-‘Umdah,
4/58.

If he
is unable to fulfil one of the conditions of prayer being valid – such as
taharah (purity) – then he should pray on time and he is exempted from this
condition. It is not permissible to delay the prayer until its time is over
in order to fulfil that condition.

Shaykh
al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah said:

Because those who are obliged to pray when the time for prayer comes, but
are unable to fulfil one of its conditions or essential parts at that
moment, but will be able to do so after the time for prayer is over, it is
not permissible for them to delay the prayer until its time is over. If this
were permissible then the one who is unable to purify himself, cover
himself, bow or prostrate, or do any other condition or essential part of
the prayer would be allowed to delay the prayer until he is able to do this,
if he knows or thinks it most likely that he will be able to do it. This is
contrary to the Quran, Sunnah and scholarly consensus, because sharee’ah’s
concern that the prayer be performed on time is greater than its concern for
any other condition or essential part of prayer that cannot be done. Hence
it is not permissible to delay the prayer until its time is over because of
being unable to do some of the essential parts. When the time for the
obligatory prayer is too short and one cannot fulfil the conditions, then
doing the prayer on time takes precedence over the conditions. There is only
one time when fulfilling the conditions takes precedence over the act
itself, which is when the act becomes obligatory towards the end of its
time, such as when a sleeper wakes up at the end of the time, in which case
the prayer becomes obligatory when he wakes up, and he must fulfil the
conditions of prayer. This applies if someone wakes up after the time for
prayer is over.

Sharh
al-‘Umdah,
4/347, 348.

And
Allah knows best.

Praise be to Allah.The believer cannot do without his Lord. He is the only One Who can bring benefits or ward off harm. By turning to Allaah you did the right thing. 
Death is a reality, and Allaah has decreed it for every soul, as He says (interpretation of the meaning): 
“Everyone shall taste death”
[Aal ‘Imraan 3:185]
No matter how hard a person tries, he can never ward off that which Allaah has willed and decreed for him, namely death. 
But fear should not prevent a person from worshipping and obeying Allaah, rather it should do the opposite. Fear should motivate one to worship and obey Allaah. Fear – as Ibn Qudaamah said – is the whip of Allaah with which He drives His slaves to persist in seeking knowledge and acting upon it, so that they may attain the status of being close to Allaah. 
Fear may cause a person to become worried, anxious or ill, which may in turn cause him to despair of the mercy of Allaah; in this case his fear is not something good, it is bad. 
It should be noted that a lot of worry and psychological stress is caused by not being content (with the will and decree of Allaah). We may not get what we want, and even if we do get what we want that may not make us feel content as we had hoped; the idea that we had in our minds before getting it was better than the reality. 
Even after getting what we want we may still suffer from anxiety and fear of losing that blessing. There is no remedy for this apart from accepting the decree of Allaah, thanking Him for His blessings and patiently bearing the difficulties and calamities that Allaah has decreed for us.   
Your situation may require a doctor, but you should note that most people’s diseases are not physical, rather they are psychosomatic. 
Dr al-Faarez says: It became clear that for four out of five patients their sickness had no physical basis at all, rather their sickness stemmed from fear, anxiety, resentment and selfishness, and a person’s inability to create harmony between himself and life.  
Look at how Ya’qoob (peace be upon him) wept for his son Yoosuf (peace be upon him) and lost his sight. Look at how distress overwhelmed ‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) when the people slandered her by telling lies about her, and she kept weeping so much that she said: “I though that grief would tear me apart.” Agreed upon. 
Dr Hassaan Shamsi Pasha said:  
In the event of anxiety, secretion of a substance called adrenaline increases in the blood, the blood pressure rises, the heart rate increases, and a person feels heart palpitations or may feel as if something is sinking to the bottom of his chest. 
He may become paranoid and rush from one doctor to another, wondering what is wrong with his heart, when there is nothing wrong in his body but he still suffers pain in his stomach and has indigestion, or bloating in his abdomen, or frequent urination or headaches. 
You have to have faith and fear Allaah; always recite dhikr and wirds that are prescribed in sharee’ah, because this is one of the greatest remedies that will get rid of the thoughts that are going around in your mind and the things that hearts grieve over. 
Some of the du’aa’s narrated from the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) that deal with such matters include the following: 
1 – It was narrated from Anas (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to say: “Allaahumma inni a’oodhu bika min al-hammi wa’l-hazani wa’l’ajzi wa’l-kasali wa’l-jubni wa’l-bukhli wa dala’ il-dayn wa ghalbat al-rijaal (O Allaah, I seek refuge with You from worry, grief, incapacity, laziness, cowardice, miserliness, from being heavily indebt and from being overcome by men).” Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 6008. 
2 – It was narrated that ‘Abd-Allaah ibn Mas’ood said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “If a person who is afflicted by anxiety or sorrow says: ‘Allaahumma inni ‘abduka wa ibnu ‘abdika wa ibn ammatika naasiyati bi yadika maadin fiyya hukmuka ‘adlun fiyya qadaa’uka as’aluka bi kulli ismin huwa laka sammayta bihi nafsaka aw ‘allamtahu ahadan min khalqika aw anzaltahu fi kitaabika aw asta’tharta bihi fi ‘ilm il-ghaybi ‘indaka an taj’al al-Qur’aana rabee’a qalbi wa nooar sadri wa jalaa’a huzni wa dhahaaba hammi (O Allaah, I am Your slave, son of Your slave, son of Your female slave, my forelock is in Your hand, Your command over me is forever executed and Your decree over me is just. I ask You by every name belonging to You with which You have named Yourself, or, or You have taught to any of Your creation, or You have revealed in Your Book, or You have preserved in the knowledge of the Unseen with You, that You make the Qur’aan the life of my heart and the light of my breast, and a departure for my sorrow and a release for my anxiety)’, then Allaah will take away his anxiety and sorrow, and will replace it with joy.”  
It was said: “O Messenger of Allaah, should we not learn it?” He said: “Yes, whoever hears it should learn it.” 
Narrated by Ahmad, 3704; classed as saheeh by Shaykh al-Albaani in al-Silsilah al-Saheehah, 199. 
3 – It was narrated that Sa’d ibn Abi Waqqaas said: The Messenger of Allaah (S) said: “The prayer of Dhu’l-Noon which he said when he was in the belly of the fish: ‘Laa ilaaha illa Anta, subhaanaka inni kuntu min al-zaalimeen (none has the right to be worshipped but You (O Allaah), Glorified (and Exalted) be You [above all that (evil) they associate with You]! Truly, I have been of the wrongdoers’ [cf al-Anbiya’ 21:87]. No Muslim man calls upon Allaah with these words concerning any matter but Allaah will answer him.” 
Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 3505; classed as saheeh by al_Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’, 3383. 
See also questions no. 21677 . 
And Allaah knows best.

Praise be to Allah.You should note that by His wisdom, Allah tests His slaves with good and evil, to show who among them will obey Him in all circumstances and who will only obey Him in some circumstances. Allah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“Who has created death and life that He may test you which of you is best in deed. And He is the All-Mighty, the Oft-Forgiving.” [67:2]
“… and We shall make a trial of you with evil and with good. And to Us you will be returned.”
[21:35]
One of the kinds of tests is that Allah may test one spouse with bad treatment on the part of the other, for whatever reason. Based on this, if what you have mentioned is correct and your husband has been bewitched or affected by strong hasad (envy) – for witchcraft and the evil eye do have an effect, as the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said, “The evil eye is real” [al-Bukhaari, Muslim] – then you have to do the following:
1 – Remember Allah a great deal (dhikr) and pray for forgiveness. Ask Allah to heal your husband and to make him be as he used to be. Nothing can alter the divine decree except du’a.
2 – Think about yourself and the way you treat your husband. It may be that you have changed in the way you treat him, without realizing. Be the best wife you can to him, and the best help, after Allah. Stand by his side during this trial and be his support, after Allah.
3 – Do not go to this so-called man of religion, for he is asking for your picture in order to practice trickery. See question no. 21124.
4 – There is nothing wrong with you going with your husband to a trustworthy shaykh, who treats people by means of the Quran and du’as prescribed by the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him). You could also recite the Quran over some water and you and your husband drink from it, and you could recite ruqyah (incantation) over him every day, and recite Surah al-Baqarah in the house. For more information on the ways of undoing the effects of witchcraft please see the following questions: 11290, 4010, 21124, 8291, 20954. For information on protection against witchcraft, please see questions no. 2662 and 22816. For information on various kinds of witchcraft please see questions no. 12578, 9432, 240. 
5 – Assuming that what has happened to your husband is not witchcraft or hasad (envy), then sit with him and discuss things frankly. Tell him what you feel, and agree to go back to the way things were. 
6 – You can ask some people – especially trustworthy relatives – to intervene and seek a solution to this problem, and to look into its causes and try to find a way of resolving it. 
Finally, we advise you to weigh up your husband’s good points and bad points, and do not forget his good qualities and his kind treatment of you, because this will motivate you to try to bring him back to the right path in his religion and in his relationship with his Lord, first of all, then in his relationship with you. 
May Allah make things easy for you, and make your husband happy with your obedience and make you happy with his good treatment.
And Allah knows best.

Praise be to Allah.Firstly: 
We congratulate you for this great blessing that Allaah has bestowed upon you, which is the blessing of entering Islam and finding enjoyment praying and reading Qur’aan. 
Secondly: 
You should try hard to offer the obligatory prayers at the right times as defined in sharee’ah. There are five prayers each day and night. Prayer represents connection and conversation between a person and his Lord. It is the most important pillar and obligatory duty of Islam after the Shahaadatayn (twin testimony of faith), and it brings light to a person in this life and in his grave in the Hereafter. 
You should also strive to offer nafl (supererogatory) prayers after doing the obligatory prayers, for Allaah says in the hadeeth qudsi: “My slave does not draw near to Me with anything more loved by Me than the religious duties I have enjoined upon him, and My slave continues to draw near to Me with supererogatory works so that I shall love him.” Narrated by al-Bukhari, 6502. 
Thirdly: 
The anxiety and fear that you are feeling about the future are things that happen to some people when they first become committed in their adherence to Islam. Perhaps the reason for that is that the Shaytaan is annoyed by the person’s beginning to follow true guidance and the path of Mercy, so he tried to divert him from that, and he whispers to him doubts about Allaah that are not appropriate, in order to cause him grief and worry. This – praise be to Allaah – will not harm the believer. Hence the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, when some of his companions complained to him about the waswasah (whisperings from the Shaytaan) that they were encountering: “Allaah is Most Great, Allaah is Most Great, Allaah is Most Great. Praise be to Allaah Who has reduced his (the Shaytaan’s) plots to mere whispers.” Narrated by Ahmad (2097) and Abu Dawood (4448); classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi Dawood. A similar hadeeth is to be found in al-Saheehayn. 
You should read Qur’aan a great deal and remember Allaah (dhikr), for no one ever protects himself against the Shaytaan with anything like remembrance of Allaah, as the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, especially the dhikrs that are narrated for specific times and occasions, such as the dhikrs for morning and evening, for sleeping and waking, for going out of the house and coming in. You should also cleanse the house of anything that may prevent the angels coming in, such as dogs and images. 
Remember that the future is in the hand of Allaah and that whatever Allaah has decreed will come to pass. Your fear and anxiety about it will not change it at all. So keep busy with things that will benefit you and think well of Allaah, for Allaah is as His slave thinks He is, as He says in the hadeeth qudsi: “I am as My slave thinks I am. I am with him when he makes mention of Me. If he makes mention of Me to himself, I make mention of him to Myself; and if he makes mention of Me in an assembly, I make mention ofhim in an assembly better than it.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 7066; Muslim, 2675). Ahmad (16059) narrated with a saheeh isnaad: “I am as My slave thinks I am, so let him think of Me as he wishes.” 
So think that Allaah will honour you, have mercy on you and give you happiness in this world and in the Hereafter, because He loves His righteous slaves, and honours His pious slaves. You – praise be to Allaah – are new in Islam and have few sins to your record. So be assured of a life of tranquillity, as Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 
“Whoever works righteousness — whether male or female — while he (or she) is a true believer (of Islamic Monotheism) verily, to him We will give a good life (in this world with respect, contentment and lawful provision), and We shall pay them certainly a reward in proportion to the best of what they used to do (i.e. Paradise in the Hereafter)”
[al-Nahl 16:97]
We ask Allaah to guide you and give you strength, and to take away the fear and anxiety that you are experiencing. 
And Allaah knows best.

Praise be to Allah.The blessing of time is one of the greatest blessings that Allaah can bestow upon His slaves. Allaah even swears by time in some cases, as He says (interpretation of the meaning): 
“By Al‑‘Asr (the time)”
[al-‘Asr 103:1]
– because of the importance and blessing of time.  
And the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Make the most of five things before five others: life before death, health before sickness, free time before becoming busy, youth before old age, and wealth before poverty.” See Saheeh al-Jaami’, no. 1077. 
But most people are unaware of the importance of this blessing and are neglectful of their duties towards it, namely to fill it with acts of gratitude and obedience towards Allaah. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “There are two blessings which many people do not make the most of and thus lose out: good health and free time.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 6412. 
Al-Teebi said: The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) likened the Muslim (who is accountable for his deeds) to a merchant who has capital and seeks to make a profit whilst also preserving his capital. The way to do that is to look for the right people to deal with and he himself will be honest and will try to be smart lest he be cheated. Good health and free time are our capital, and we should deal with Allaah with faith, striving against the evil inclinations of our nafs and the enemy of religion i.e., the Shaytaan, so that we may attain the best in this world and in the Hereafter. This is similar to what is mentioned in the passage where Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 
“Shall I guide you to a trade that will save you from a painful torment?”
[al-Saff 61:10]
We should avoid following the dictates of the nafs and keep away from the Shaytaan lest we lose both our capital and our profit. 
Fath al-Baari by Ibn Hajar. 
If time is so important, then the Muslim should not have any free time, for he should be going from one act of worship and obedience to another. If he cannot spend all his time going from one act of obedience and worship to another then, he may spend some of his time in permissible pursuits, in which he should ensure that his intention is correct, so that he may earn reward thereby, as Mu’aadh (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: “I get up and I sleep, and I hope for the same when I sleep as I hope for when I get up.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 6923; Muslim, 1854. 
The problem that the sister is suffering from is caused by several things: 
Firstly: she does not understand the value of time. This is true of many people, as stated above. Even worse than that, by neglecting this great blessing, her spare time has become something destructive, and she regards it as an enemy that she wants to kill, but she does not realize that she is killing herself.  
Secondly: she feels depressed. There is no doubt that wasting one’s time and one’s life causes deep depression in man, because he feels that he is like an animal that eats so it can sleep, and sleeps so it can eat. Hence we see many disbelievers ended their life by suicide, after being afflicted by depression and other incurable diseases – may Allaah keep us safe and sound from that with which He has tested them. One of the primary causes of depression is disobedience towards Allaah. Undoubtedly wasting time watching TV leads a person to commit sin, such as watching and listening to haraam things, wasting time, and other things caused by this evil machine. The benefits that the sister gains by joining a halaqah for memorizing Qur’aan are largely cancelled out, if not erased entirely, by sitting in front of the TV. Just as good deeds erase bad deeds, bad deeds cause good deeds to be lost. 
[You can refer to the Books section of this website; in Dealing with Worries and Stress you will find more details about the causes of worry and how to overcome them. In Dangers Facing the Home you will find mention of some of the harmful effects of TV.] 
Thirdly:  
She has given up with regard to time, and she has no determination to fill her time with beneficial things. 
In order to solve this problem, the sister must strive to achieve the following: 
1-Doing acts of worship such as reciting dhikr and wird, praying, reading Qur’aan, fasting and thinking about the signs and blessings of Allaah.
2-She should pay special attention to the Qur’aan, since she says that she memorizes what is required of her, then she has spare time that she kills by watching TV. Why doesn’t she use that time to remember Allaah and read Qur’aan, and memorize more so that she can memorize the whole Qur’aan, before she becomes burdened with the responsibilities of life. For (reading) each letter is a hasanah, and each hasanah brings a tenfold reward. And each verse raises one in status and increases one’s reward, as the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Read and rise (in status), for as you used to recite in this world, your position (in the Hereafter) will be determined by the last verse you read.” Narrated by Abu Dawood, 1464; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in al-Saheehah, 2240.
3-Adopt a cause affecting Muslim women in the country where you live, such as helping to teach Muslim girls, undertaking charitable projects, and so on.
4-Find good and righteous friends with whom you can meet and get together.
5-Read Islamic books in particular and useful stories in general.
6-Get involved in da’wah, women’s activities and children’s sports in Islamic centres.
7-Listen to tapes and lectures, and write summaries which you can distribute to those who will benefit from them.
8-Learn some useful areas of worldly knowledge such as cooking, sewing, etc.
9-Learn about computers and useful programs, for this is a vast area which will take up a lot of time and can be used to do a lot of good and useful things. This will take you away from sitting in front of the TV which does not help you in any way, and does more harm than good.
10-You should read some books which speak of the importance of time and how to manage it; listen to some useful lectures on this topic too.
May Allaah help you and us to do all that is good. 
For more information please see also questions no. 3619, 26869, 36546.

Praise be to Allah.What the Muslim should do is refrain from bearing any hatred or resentment in his heart towards his fellow Muslim. Allaah says of His believing slaves (interpretation of the meaning): 
“And those who came after them say: Our Lord! Forgive us and our brethren who have preceded us in Faith, and put not in our hearts any hatred against those who have believed. Our Lord! You are indeed full of kindness, Most Merciful”
[al-Hashr 59:10]
According to a hadeeth narrated by Anas ibn Maalik (may Allaah be pleased with him), the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Do not hate one another, do not envy one another, do not turn your backs on one another, and be, O slaves of Allaah, brothers. It is not permissible for a Muslim to forsake his brother for more than three days.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 5718; Muslim, 2559. 
Ibn ‘Abd al-Barr said: His saying “Do not hate one another” is a prohibition which is aimed at encouraging them to discipline themselves to love one another. Al-Istidhkaar, 8/289. 
But a person may feel that he does not like a person enough for him to become a close friend, even though he fulfils his Islamic duty of returning his salaams, saying “Yarhamuk-Allaah (May Allaah have mercy on you)” if he sneezes, helping him if he needs help, and so on. In this case what exists between them does not come under the heading of forsaking or shunning, and it is forgiven in sha Allaah. According to a hadeeth narrated by ‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her), the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Souls are troops collected together and those who got along with one other (in the realm where souls existed before entering physical bodies in this world) will have an affinity with one another (in this world) andthose amongst who did not get along with one another  (in the realm where souls existed before entering physical bodies in this world) will also not get along (in this world).” Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 3158; Muslim, 2638. 
Al-Khattaabi said: This may be understood as referring to similarlity between souls which are either good or bad, righteous or immoral, and that good people are attracted to those who are like them and evil people are likewise attracted to those who are like them, so people’s souls recognize one another according to their nature, whether good or evil; if they are similar they will get along and if they are different they will not get along. 
Al-Qurtubi said: Although souls have in common the fact that they are all souls, they differ in other ways. Souls of similar nature will get along because of their nature. Therefore we see people of a certain type get along, but they do not get along with people of a different nature, and we see that with people who are of a similar nature, some of them get along with one another and some do not, and that depends on the issues which form the basis of getting along or otherwise.

Praise be to Allah.
Firstly: 

It is permissible for a man to speak to a non-mahram woman if
there is a need to do so, and there is no soft speech on the part of the
woman or enjoyment on the part of the man, and the talk is of something that
is permissible. 

But they should limit it to what is necessary, so as to block
the means that may lead to evil, because getting carried away in talking
unnecessarily may lead to something haraam. 

Based on that, there is nothing wrong with a man talking to a
woman when buying, selling, asking a question, medical treatment, and so on,
if attention is paid to these guidelines. 

For more information, see the answer to question number
1121. 

With regard to your husband speaking to that woman and
advising her to keep away from his friend, in this case — in addition to
the above — he should weigh up the pros and cons. There may be some
interest to be served in his contacting her, or there may be some negative
outcome, and there may be no need to do that. He could instead send an
anonymous letter in which there is advice, reminders and warnings. This
varies according to the situation of your husband and the situation of the
woman mentioned. 

The safest approach is that he not contact her directly,
which may lead him to negative consequences, especially if the woman does
not care about forming relationships with men and nothing will deter her
from that. 

Your husband should advise his friend to keep away from that
woman and remind him to fear Allah, may He be exalted. 

And Allah knows best.