Tag: Q n A

Praise be to Allah.
Firstly: 

Compulsive waswaas refers to thoughts and bad ideas that come
one after another to a person’s mind even though he does not want them, in
such a way that he cannot rid himself of them, even though he knows and is
certain that they are foolish and unacceptable thoughts. They keep coming to
his mind compulsively, which causes him a great deal of anguish and
distress. 

The remedy for compulsive waswaas and other types of waswaas
is to remember Allah a great deal, obey Him, and turn to Him, beseeching
Him, and seeking refuge with Him; to overlook and ignore the waswaas, and
not let oneself get carried away with it. In some cases there is a need to
consult a doctor. 

See the answers to questions no.
39684 and
90819.

Allah will not punish a person or call him to account for
this waswaas, because it is beyond his control and overwhelms him; it does
not happen by his choice. Allah, may He be exalted, says (interpretation of
the meaning):

“Allah burdens not a person beyond his scope”

[al-Baqarah 2:286]

“Allah puts no burden on any person beyond what He has
given him. Allah will grant after hardship, ease.”

[al-Talaaq 65:7]

 “So keep your duty to Allah and fear Him as much as you
can”

[al-Taghaabun 64:16]. 

It was narrated that Abu Hurayrah said: The Messenger of
Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said:
“Allah, may He be glorified and exalted, will forgive my ummah for whatever
crosses their minds so long as they do not act upon it or speak of it.”

Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 6664; Muslim,
127. 

Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allah have
mercy on him) said:

Allah will not punish the one who suffers from compulsive
waswaas, because He, may He be exalted, says (interpretation of the
meaning): “our
Lord! Put not on us a burden greater than we have strength to bear”
[al-Baqarah 2:286]
and “Allah burdens not a person beyond his
scope” [al-Baqarah 2:286]. But the one who is
suffering from waswaas has to frequently seek refuge with Allah from the
accursed Shaytaan and ignore it; if he does that, then it will depart from
him by Allah’s leave. End quote. 

Fataawa Noor ‘ala ad-Darb, 24/2 

If this man speaks words of kufr (disbelief) and words that
put him beyond the pale of Islam because of this compulsive waswaas, without
being aware of what he is saying or understanding what it means, or he
understands what it means but he did not intend to say it and did not say it
voluntarily – rather he said it under the pressure of this waswaas which
forced him to say it – then he will not be punished for it, because it is
beyond his control. He comes under the same ruling as one who speaks words
of kufr because he is forced to do so. Allah, may He be exalted, says
(interpretation of the meaning):

“Whoever
disbelieved in Allah after his belief, except him who is forced thereto and
whose heart is at rest with Faith but such as open their hearts to
disbelief, on them is wrath from Allah, and theirs will be a great torment”

[an-Nahl 16:106]. 

Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allah have mercy on him) said:

If he is forced to disbelieve and he disbelieves, but his
heart is at rest with Faith, then he is not deemed to be a disbeliever,
because there is an impediment to doing so, which is that he was forced. End
quote. 

Majmoo‘ Fataawa wa Rasaa’il al-‘Uthaymeen,
3/54 

It says in al-Mawsoo‘ah al-Fiqhiyyah, 13/229: 

It is not permissible to describe as a disbeliever one who
was forced to utter words of disbelief when his heart was at rest with
Faith. Allah, may He be exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning):
“…except him who is forced
thereto and whose heart is at rest with Faith …” [an-Nahl 16:106].
End quote. 

See also the answer to question no.
62839

Based on that, this man is not to be deemed an apostate,
unless he says or does something to indicate disbelief at the time when he
is aware of what he is doing, and he says or does it voluntarily. In that
case he would be deemed an apostate and would bear full responsibility for
his words or deeds. 

Secondly: 

The family’s role towards this poor father may be summed up
as follows: 

1.All the members of the family
have to show patience towards him with regard to unpleasant things that
happen with him, because that is happening without him intending it to.

2.They should strive to find
treatment for him and spend as much as they can on that, and use tricks to
treat him. Many cases of waswaas are in fact cases of sickness that can be
treated by psychologists and the like.

3.They should offer a lot of
supplication and beseech Allah to remove this harm and heal him.

4.Ruqya as prescribed in Islam.
His son, wife or any other family member or other person may perform ruqya
for him as prescribed in Islam. Allah may heal types of chronic sickness by
His grace, by means of Islamically prescribed ruqya from the Qur’an and
Sunnah.

See also the answer to question no.
3476

Thirdly: 

If this suitor is of good character and religiously
committed, then there is nothing wrong with marrying him, whether his father
is healthy or otherwise, and whether he is a Muslim or an apostate. None of
those factors are an impediment to marrying his son, so long as the son is
religiously committed and of good character. 

However we do not think that you should rush to accept such a
person; rather proceeding with caution in the case of such proposals that
may lead to complicated social problems is better, more sensible and wiser. 

You have to let your guardians know about the matter and they
should find out the facts for themselves, so that they can make the right
decision for their daughter. 

If you feel that this will have an impact on your life and
your social relationships, then you are still young, so if you wait for a
more suitable opportunity that is less likely to cause you problems, then
perhaps that is better and more appropriate. 

If you insist on accepting this suitor, and your guardians
agree to it, then you and your husband should have separate accommodation;
that is more likely to avoid problems and keep you away from troubles. 

Moreover, he will be the grandfather of your children and
also your father-in-law, the father of your husband, so you should strive
hard to treat him kindly as much as you can. 

See also the answer to question no.
130935.

For more information, please see the answer to question no.
146463

And Allah knows best.

Praise be to Allah.Allaah has
enjoined upholding of family ties and kind treatment of one’s wife. We will
never tell you to sever your ties with your sisters or with your wife.
Rather we tell you: bring them together and do not make the division worse. 
Love comes
from Allaah. He has created causes of love and causes of hate. So you have
to look at your relationships and seek out the causes of hate and enmity so
that you can remove them. And you should try to bring in the causes of love
so as to encourage it. These causes include: greeting with salaam, giving
gifts, visiting people when they are sick, helping at times of need, and
many other things which Islam tells us strengthen bonds and generate love
among people. 
In order to
calm both sides down, you also have to remind each of them of Allaah and His
warning against gossiping, insulting, slandering and interfering in people’s
private affairs. 
Adhering to
the limits set by Allaah and giving each party their rights, and respecting
the rights of the other party and not belittling them or annoying them, will
also guarantee happiness and peace in the house and in your relationships. 
You have to
advise your wife and your siblings to treat one another well, and try to
remove the problems and disputes that exist between them. If your wife and
siblings are living in the same house, there is nothing wrong with you
giving your wife her own accommodation, if you cannot reconcile between
them. Indeed, this may be a means of removing the disputes between them. 
Our advice
to your wife is that she should be friendly towards her husband’s family and
treat them kindly as much as she can, without doing anything that is
forbidden according to sharee’ah. Respecting her husband’s family will make
the relationship between her and her husband remain as good as it can be. 
May Allaah help you all to do that which He loves and which pleases Him. May He guide you to the best of words and deeds and attitudes. 
And Allaah knows best.

Praise be to Allah.
Firstly: 

Undoubtedly obedience to parents, so long as it does not
involve disobedience towards Allah, is one of the greatest of righteous
deeds and acts of worship. This is a well-known basic principle in Islam. 

The father has the right to take whatever he wants from his
son’s wealth, but that is subject to conditions, one of which is that taking
it should not cause harm to his son and that he should not take from him in
order to give to someone else. 

Moreover, he should not take from his son’s wealth in order
to waste it on extravagances or buy things that he does not need. This is
more obviously forbidden; in fact it is not allowed even if it is one’s own
wealth and earnings, so how about if it is his son’s earnings? See the
answer to question no. 9594. 

Secondly: 

Spending on the father’s maintenance is only obligatory if
the father is in difficulty and unable to earn a living from a suitable job.
If he is not in difficulty or he is in difficulty but he is able to earn a
living from a suitable job, then his son is not obliged to spend on him,
according to the more correct of the two scholarly opinions. 

It says in Minah al-Jaleel, 4/416: Spending on the
maintenance of parents who are in financial difficulty is obligatory, even
if they have a servant and a house that they need but are no more than is
necessary. It seems that this is the case even if the father is able to earn
a living. This is the view of al-Baaji and those who agreed with him.
However al-Lakhmi says that rather he should be compelled to work in his
profession, and this is the correct view and is the view of the author of
al-Jawaahir. This is what appears to be the correct view by analogy with
the son, because in order for it to be obligatory for the father to spend on
his son, it is stipulated that the son should be unable to earn a living
doing work that is not demeaning to him.

End quote. See: Haashiyat ad-Dasooqi, 2/523 

It says in Kashshaaf al-Qinaa‘, 5/481-482: 

We may sum up the conditions of it being obligatory to spend
on a relative in the following points: Firstly, that those on whom he is
spending should be poor, with no wealth or income to make them independent
of means so that they do not need someone else to spend on them. If those on
whom he is spending are well off and have sufficient wealth or income, there
is no obligation to spend on them, because the condition is not applicable
in this case. But if their wealth or income is not sufficient for them, then
he is obliged to top it up. Secondly, the one who is supposed to spend on
them should have sufficient wealth to do so that is surplus to what he needs
to spend on his own maintenance and that of his wife and family. Thirdly,
the one who spends should be an heir of the one on whom he spends, either
according to the shares allocated by sharee‘ah or because of blood ties
through the father.

End quote.  

Thirdly: 

The husband does not have the right to take from his wife’s
wealth in order to give it to his father, mother or siblings without her
consent. It is not permissible for the husband to take anything of his
wife’s wealth except what she gives willingly. 

See the answer to question no.
163541. 

What we think is that the son should give his father
something by way of upholding ties of kinship, in such a way that will not
adversely affect your needs and will not be unfair to you, and he and his
siblings should encourage their father to work. 

You could make your salary separate from your husband’s
salary, and save all of your salary, and your husband can spend on you and
the children and shoulder the responsibility of living costs. This is his
basic duty in the first place. Then if there is anything left over, he can
use that to uphold ties with his father in a way that will not adversely
affect you or be unfair to his children. Then he can add whatever is left
over to what you have of wealth, and you can put that towards buying a house
or you can save it for your needs. 

But you have to be very careful not to let that choice lead
to trouble in your relationship with your husband. However, you are in a
position to evaluate the situation as you are living with him. 

If you are afraid that that may lead to some trouble, then
carry on as you have been doing, and try to advise him to think of what is
best for you and your children whilst avoiding cutting off ties with his
father or failing to uphold ties with him and treat him kindly, in ways that
will benefit him and not harm you. 

See also the answer to question no.
130599.

Praise be to Allah.
We praise Allah for having blessed you with Islam, and we
ask Him to make us and you steadfast in adhering to His true religion. 

If a woman becomes Muslim and her husband refuses to become
Muslim, she is not permissible for him because Allah says (interpretation of
the meaning):

“then if you ascertain that they are true believers send
them not back to the disbelievers. They are not lawful (wives) for the
disbelievers nor are the disbelievers lawful (husbands) for them”

[al-Mumtahanah 60:10]. 

Al-Shawkaani (may Allah have mercy on him) said: 

The words of Allah, “They are not lawful (wives) for the
disbelievers nor are the disbelievers lawful (husbands) for them”
explain the reason why it is forbidden to send them back. This indicates
that a believing woman is not permissible for a kaafir and that if the woman
becomes Muslim she must leave her husband. End quote. 

Fath al-Qadeer, 5/301 

So it is not permissible for a Muslim woman to remain married
to a kaafir under any circumstances whatsoever. Rather they should be
separated as soon as she becomes Muslim, then she should wait until her
‘iddah ends. If he becomes Muslim during the ‘iddah, that they remain
married, but if the ‘iddah ends and he has not become Muslim, she becomes
irrevocably divorced from him and she may marry someone else if she wishes,
or she may wait until he becomes Muslim. 

Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allah have mercy on him) said: What is
indicated by the ruling of the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon
him) is that the marriage is suspended. If he becomes Muslim before the end
of her ‘iddah, then she is still his wife, but if her ‘iddah ends, then she
may marry whomever she wants, or if she likes she may wait for him, then if
he becomes Muslim, she is still his wife without any need for a new marriage
contract. End quote. 

Zaad al-Ma‘aad, 5/137 

As you say that you became Muslim six years ago, you became
irrevocably divorced from him a long time ago. So you have to leave him
immediately and it is not permissible for you to stay with him under any
circumstances. And you have to seek forgiveness and repent to Allah, may He
be exalted. 

It is not permissible for you to serve him and take care of
him when Islam has separated you, especially since he — in addition to
being a disbeliever — hates religion and despises hijab and tells you to
take it off. How can you feel that you and your religious commitment are
safe when you are with him? 

The Standing Committee for Issuing Fatwas was asked about a
Christian woman who was elderly, as was her husband. She became Muslim but
he did not, and there was no sexual relationship between them. Is it
permissible for her to stay with him or should the marriage be annulled? 

They replied: 

If a Christian woman becomes Muslim and she is the wife of a
Christian man, the marriage contract is annulled.  Based on that, it is not
permissible for her to stay with him even if they are old and have no sexual
relationship. End quote. 

Fataawa al-Lajnah al-Daa’imah,
19/16-17 

The fact that you are poor and have no work does not make it
permissible to you to stay in the same house as a non-Muslim man. Think
positively of Allah, may He be exalted, for He is the One Who says
(interpretation of the meaning):

“Allaah will grant after hardship, ease”

[al-Talaaq 65:7]. 

Al-Sa‘di (may Allah have mercy on him) said: 

This is glad tidings to those who are in difficulty, that
Allah will grant them relief from their hardship and take away their
difficulties. End quote. 

Tafseer al-Sa‘di, p. 871 

And Allah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“And whosoever fears Allaah and keeps his duty to Him, He
will make a way for him to get out (from every difficulty).

3. And He will provide him from (sources) he never could
imagine. And whosoever puts his trust in Allaah, then He will suffice him.
Verily, Allaah will accomplish his purpose. Indeed Allaah has set a measure
for all things”

[al-Talaaq 65:2-3].

Imam Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allah have mercy on him) debated with
a Christian scholar until the truth became clear to him, but he refrained
from entering Islam on the grounds that the Christians venerated him and he
said: I do not know any trade and I have not memorized any Qur’aan or
grammar or fiqh. If I become Muslim I will go around the marketplaces
begging from people. Who could agree to that? Ibn al-Qayyim said: That will
not happen! How can you think of Allah that if you give precedence to
pleasing Him over your whims and desires He would humiliate you and make you
in need of others? Even if we assume that that will befall you, what you
have attained of truth and salvation from the Fire and from the wrath and
anger of Allah will be the most complete compensation for what you have
lost. End quote. 

Hidaayat al-Hayaara, p. 119 

Your son should treat his father kindly and serve him and
help him as much as he can. That is his father’s right over him, even if he
(the father) continues to follow his present religion. Strive to call him to
Islam, for that will be better for both of you, so that the family will not
be divided. Tell him that Islam forbids you to stay with him, and that there
is no solution to this problem except his becoming Muslim. 

We ask Allah to guide and help you all. 

And Allah knows best.

Praise be to Allah.
Allah has enjoined
upon the husband to treat his wife decently and with kindness, as He says
(interpretation of the meaning):

“And live with
them honourably”

[an-Nisa’ 4:19].

This is one of the
rights that are common to both spouses; each must treat the other decently
and with kindness. 

Each spouse has
rights over the other. We have discussed in detail the rights of the spouses
over one another in the answer to question no.
10680

One of the rights
that the wife has over her husband is that he should keep her chaste by
means of intercourse with her. This is obligatory for the one who is able to
do it. This is the view of the majority of scholars. 

It says in
al-Mawsoo‘ah al-Fiqhiyyah (30/127): 

One of the rights
of the wife over her husband is that he should keep her chaste by having
intercourse with her. The majority of fuqaha’ – Hanafis, Maalikis and
Hanbalis – are of the view that it is obligatory for the husband to have
intercourse with his wife. End quote. 

The scholars
differed with regard to the limits within which the husband must have
intercourse with his wife. The most correct opinion is that it should be in
accordance with her need and his ability. 

Shaykh al-Islam
Ibn Taymiyah (may Allah have mercy on him) was asked about a man who does
not have intercourse with his wife for one or two months; is there any sin
on him or not? Is the husband required to do that? 

He replied: 

The man should
have intercourse with his wife according to what is reasonable. It is the
most important right that she has over him and is more important than
providing her with food. It was said that obligatory intercourse is once
every four months, or whatever is in accordance with her need and his
ability, just as he should feed her according to her need and what he can
afford. This is the more correct of the two scholarly opinions. 

Majmoo‘
al-Fataawa,
32/271 

Your husband may
be suffering from some mental or physical illness and this may be what is
causing him to refrain from intercourse or showing affection. You cannot be
certain that this is not happening in his case, especially since you say
that the shaykhs who have examined your situation think that he has been
affected by the evil eye. It is not far-fetched to say that that the evil
eye may be what has caused the change in his behaviour. 

Dr. ‘Abdullah
as-Sadhaan – who is a specialist in matters of ruqyah and whose doctoral
thesis was entitled Diraasah Muqaarinah ‘an ar-Ruqyah ash-Shar‘iyyah
(A Comparative Study of Ruqyah as prescribed in Islam) was asked: 

Can the evil eye
cause physical sickness or financial or social problems? 

He replied: 

Yes, the evil eye
can cause a lack of healing from many physical problems and may even make
them worse. It may also cause financial and marital problems, breakdown in
relationships and a lot of calamities. How can it be otherwise, when the
Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “Death among my
ummah is mostly caused, after the will and decree of Allah, by the evil
eye.” So whatever occurs of calamities that are less serious than death are
more likely to be caused by the evil eye. 

Majallat
ad-Da‘wah,
issue no. 2018, 15 Shawwaal 1426 AH/17 November 2005 CE 

One of the duties
of the righteous wife is to stand by her husband in such situations, because
he is in the greatest need of someone to support him and help him in
treating his disease until Allah decrees that he should be healed. If what
has befallen him is caused by his material circumstances and social
interactions, then you can win his heart by beautifying yourself for him,
and treating him in a loving and kind manner, for you are his source of
tranquillity. Allah has created between the spouses love and compassion that
will make it easy for you to reach his heart and reduce the pressure that he
is suffering because of his circumstances. 

You should
understand that the man is not like the woman; the woman  can respond to her
husband’s sexual needs in all circumstances unless she is sick, menstruating
or bleeding following childbirth. But a man cannot do that unless he has
energy and the desire for intercourse. Hence Islam does not oblige him to
treat his wives (in the case of plural marriage) equally in terms of
intercourse, because that depends on energy, desire and strength. For the
same reason also there is a warning against refusing to share the marital
bed on the part of the wife but not the husband. 

With regard to
your saying that you are afraid of falling into immoral actions, you should
be patient and forbearing, and help your husband until Allah heals him. If
you are not able to be patient then you have the right to ask for a
divorce. 

Your husband
should hasten to seek treatment for himself; he should not hesitate to do so
or be heedless or lazy about it. According to what you say, he is neglecting
the rights of his wife and the wife has the right to be kept chaste. If he
is able to do it then he should do so, otherwise he should divorce her and
let her go in a good manner, if she cannot be patient during her husband’s
illness. 

In the answer to
question no. 11359 we have
described how to protect oneself against the evil eye and to remedy the
matter. 

We think that it
is best to refer your case to an Islamic judge (qaadi), because he will be
able to establish the facts of your husband’s case and seek medical reports,
after which he will be able to issue a verdict on matters of divorce and
rights. 

We advise you to
be patient in putting up with the situation in which you find yourself and
to support your husband during his illness and do your part to seek a remedy
for it, whether that is with doctors or psychologists, or with trustworthy
shaykhs, so that you can find out the cause of his problem, as he may indeed
have been affected by the evil eye. 

We ask Allah to
set your affairs straight. 

And Allah knows best.

Praise be to Allah.Firstly: 
Suicide is a major sin. The Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) stated that the one who commits suicide will be punished with something like that with which he killed himself. 
See the answer to question no. 70363 
Secondly: 
There are known signs of puberty for both males and females. The male reaches puberty when one of three things happens: emission of maniy (semen), growth of pubic hair or reaching the age of fifteen years according to the Hijri calendar, which is a few months before reaching the age of fifteen according to the Gregorian calendar. 
In females, puberty is reached when these three signs occur; in addition to that there is a fourth sign, namely menstruation. 
It is not stipulated that all of these signs should appear; rather when one of them appears that is sufficient to rule that the individual has reached puberty. 
See also the answer to question no. 70425 and 78591  
Thirdly: 
Accountability is waived for the child who has not yet reached puberty, until he reaches that stage, because of the report narrated by Abu Dawood (4403) and at-Tirmidhi (1423) from ‘Ali (may Allah be pleased with him), that the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “The Pen has been lifted from three: from the sleeper until he awakens, from the child until he reaches puberty and from the insane person until he comes to his senses.”
Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Irwa’ al-Ghaleel, 2/4, no. 297 
In al-Mawsoo‘ah al-Fiqhiyyah (8/196) it says: 
A person becomes accountable for fulfilling obligatory duties and refraining from haraam actions when he or she reaches puberty; one who has not reached puberty is not accountable … and (one who has not reached puberty) is not subject to qisaas (retaliatory punishments) and hadd punishments, such as those for stealing and slander. However, it is permissible for him to be disciplined. End quote. 
See also 14/36 
A person from whom the Pen has been lifted because he is insane or is a minor is not subject to qisaas (retaliatory punishment) if he injures or kills someone, whether the minor had reached the age of discernment or not, because the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “The Pen has been lifted from three: from the child until he reaches puberty, from the insane person until he comes to his senses and from the sleeper until he awakens.” 
End quote from al-Haawi al-Kabeer, 12/181 
Ibn Qudaamah (may Allah have mercy on him) said: A minor is not to be executed (in the case of apostasy), regardless of whether we say that his apostasy is valid or not, because the child is not subject to punishment, on the basis that the rulings on adultery and theft and other crimes that are subject to hadd punishments are not applicable to him to him and he cannot be executed in a retaliatory punishment (qisaas).
End quote from al-Mughni, 10/62 
Based on that, there is no punishment in the Hereafter for a child if he does something before the age of puberty, which is attained when one of the signs mentioned above appears. 
For more information please see the answer to question no. 3277.

Praise be to Allah.If the
husband travels and wants to take his wife with him, she has to accompany
him and move with him, so long as she will be able to live a suitable life
and will not be harmed by this travelling. 
Imam Maalik
(may Allah have mercy on him) said: 
The husband
has the right to travel with his wife from one country to another, even if
she is reluctant, and he should spend on her.
End quote
from Tahdheeb al-Mudawwanah, 1/421 
Ibn Qudaamah
said in al-Mughni (8/181): 
The woman is
entitled to maintenance from her husband, provided that she make herself
completely available to her husband. If she refuses to make herself
available or her guardians prevent her from doing so, then she is not
entitled to maintenance, even if they stay together for a while. The Prophet
(blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) married ‘Aa’ishah and consummated
the marriage with her after two years, and he did not spend on her
maintenance until after he had consummated the marriage, and was not obliged
to spend on her for the time that had passed, because maintenance becomes
obligatory in return for the wife making herself available as is his right
according to the marriage contract; if this condition is met she is entitled
to it and if it is not met then she is not entitled to anything. 
If she has
made herself available in an incomplete manner, by saying: I submit myself
to you in my house and nowhere else, or in such and such a place and nowhere
else, then she is not entitled to anything, unless she stipulated that in
the marriage contract, because she has not made herself fully available as
required by the marriage contract, so she is not entitled to maintenance.
End quote. 
This right
is confirmed in your case, because you told them about that and they
agreed. 
What the
wife is required to do is to obey her husband and travel with him, and
settle with him in the country where his livelihood is, so long as she can
live a decent life there. 
She has to
try hard to be patient and adjust to the new environment in which she is
living; she can make friends with Muslim sisters and join them in doing acts
of worship and other good deeds, such as memorising Qur’an, visiting one
another, and so on. 
She should
always remember the great rights that her husband has over her and that she
is obliged to obey him and do what he tells her to do, and she should love
to accompany him and be content to live with him whatever the circumstances.
In this manner, Muslim households will be established on a foundation of
love and harmony, and the kind treatment that is expected in Islam, which
will achieve the purposes of marriage. 
It should be
noted that these negative feelings are temporary and will disappear, if
Allah wills, if she is patient, puts up with it and seeks the help of Allah,
may He be exalted, as has happened to many other women. 
The husband
has to understand that this complaint is not something felt by his wife
only; rather many women make the same complaint because of feeling isolated
and lonely. The husband has to deal with the matter in a wise and careful
manner, and do all that he can to help her to overcome this problem. He
should give her as much of his time as he can and not come back home late
after finishing work, or go out after finishing work, except for urgent
reasons. If he can take his wife with him he should do so, and he should
help her to find female friends who will help her cope with the pain of
loneliness and feeling isolated. He should asked for help from wise people
among her family who can advise and guide her, and encourage her to live in
Saudi so that she can do Hajj and ‘Umrah and pray in the Haram and so on. 
We ask Allah
to bring you together in a good way. 
And Allah knows best.

Praise be to Allah.
It is wonderful to see Muslim homes that are filled with love
and compassion. When we see that love and compassion between the spouses in
particular, we are very happy about it, because that love and compassion
will have a good effect on the family members. One of the greatest signs of
Allah is that He created woman from man and it is a sign of His wisdom that
He created woman to be a course of comfort and tranquillity for the man.
Allah, may He be exalted, mentioned that with regard to Adam and Hawwa’, and
all people in general, as He says (interpretation of the meaning):

“It is He Who has created you from a single person (Adam),
and (then) He has created from him his wife (Hawwa (Eve)), in order that he
might enjoy the pleasure of living with her”

[al-A‘raaf 7:189].

This has to do with Adam and Eve. With regard to humanity in
general, Allah, may He be exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning):

“And among His Signs is this, that He created for you
wives from among yourselves, that you may find repose in them”

[ar-Room 30:21].

And Allah, may He be exalted, created love and compassion
between the spouses, as He says at the end of the verse from Soorat ar-Room
quoted above (interpretation of the meaning):

“…and He has put between you affection and mercy. Verily,
in that are indeed signs for a people who reflect”

[ar-Room 30:21]. 

Ash-Shanqeeti (may Allah have mercy on him) said: 

Allah, may He be exalted, says: “and
(then) He has created from him his wife (Hawwa (Eve)), in order that he
might enjoy the pleasure of living with her”

[al-A‘raaf 7:189]. 

In this verse we see that Allah created Hawwa’ from Adam so
that he might enjoy the pleasure of living with her, i.e., find comfort in
her. Elsewhere Allah said that He created the spouses of Adam’s offspring
likewise. That is the verse in which Allah says (interpretation of the
meaning):

“And among His Signs is this, that He created for you
wives from among yourselves, that you may find repose in them, and He has
put between you affection and mercy.”

[ar-Room 30:21]. 

Adwa’ al-Bayaan, 2/304, 305 

Ibn Katheer (may Allah have mercy on him) said: 

There is no love between any two souls greater than that that
exists between the spouses. 

Tafseer Ibn Katheer, 3/525 

But we do not mean that the love should be “mad” or “crazy”
as people say. Rather it should be moderate and appropriate. Zayd ibn Aslam
narrated that his father said: ‘Umar ibn al-Khattab said to me: O Aslam, do
not let your love (for anyone) be obsessive and do not let your hatred (of
anyone) be destructive. 

I said: How is that? 

He said: When you love, do not go to a level of obsession as
a child does with the thing he loves, and when you hate, do not hate in such
a way that you want your opponent to be destroyed and doomed. 

Narrated by ‘Abd ar-Razzaaq in al-Musannaf, 20269; its
isnaad is saheeh. 

The Rightly-Guided Caliph (‘Umar ibn al-Khattaab) gave this
advice because obsessiveness in love (loving madly) has negative effects on
the one who loves and the one who is loved. Its effects on the one who loves
are: 

(a)His thoughts are focused on his
beloved, which causes him anxiety and tension, and this distraction causes
him to waste time and leads to mental and physical illness

(b)Another of the effects of
loving madly is that it makes the one who loves turn a blind eye to any
shortcomings in his beloved’s performance of duties and to his committing
any haraam actions. And if his beloved asks him to join him in his actions,
then his insane love will lead him to do so.

(c)Another of the negative effects
of this love is that it dominates his heart in such a way that there is no
room for love of Allah and His Messenger, which is the means of his
salvation, let alone love for anyone else such as family and children

(d)Another of the negative effects
is that the one who is madly in love cannot cope with the absence or illness
of his beloved, let alone his death!

The negative effects of insane love on the one who is loved
include the following: 

(a)He may suffer tension because
of the lover’s insistence on seeing him and sitting with him, which may lead
to his neglecting his work or falling short in tasks on which he should
focus his mind and heart, such as seeking beneficial knowledge and doing
righteous deeds.

(b)Another of the negative effects
it may have on him is that he will never find this lover offering him
sincere advice; rather he will turn a blind eye to his mistakes and
shortcomings. As it is said, your love of a thing makes you blind and deaf!

(c)Another of its negative effects
is that if he responds to the one who loves him, he will waste his time with
him, and if he does not, he will cause him anxiety, which may lead him to
hate him in the end.

Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (may Allah have mercy on him)
said: 

If a man’s heart is attached to a woman, even if she is
permissible for him, he will remain captive to her and she will be able to
control him as she wishes. Outwardly he will appear to be her master because
he is her husband, but in reality he is her captive and slave, especially if
she realises his need for her and his love for her, and that he cannot find
any alternative to her. In that case she will have control over him like an
unjust, domineering master over his weak slave who cannot free himself from
him, or even worse! Because captivity of the heart is worse than physical
captivity and enslavement of the heart is worse than enslavement of the
body. The one whose body is enslaved will not care if his heart is free and
at peace; rather he may be able to find away to freedom. But if the heart
that is in control of the body is that is enslaved and infatuated with
something other than Allah, then this is true humiliation, the worst kind of
captivity and enslavement to that which enslaved the heart. … True freedom
is freedom of the heart and true enslavement is enslavement of the heart,
just as true richness is richness of the soul. The Prophet (blessings and
peace of Allah be upon him) said: “Richness is not having a great deal of
accumulated wealth; rather richness is richness of the soul.” This applies
if what has captured his heart is something permissible; as for the one
whose heart is enslaved by something haraam, such as a woman or boy, this is
pain and suffering from which there is no way out, and these are the people
whose suffering will be the worst and their reward will be the least, for if
a person’s heart is devoted to something and remains attached and enslaved
to it, then this will cause him all kinds of evil and corruption that cannot
be enumerated except by the Lord of mankind, even if he manages to avoid
committing the greater act of immorality.

End quote from Majmoo‘ al-Fataawa, 10/185-186 

We are very happy to hear of your honouring your husband and
of your love for him, but we would be even happier if you made your love for
him reasonable. You should understand that bothering your husband, always
calling him, or insisting that he stay at home or not undertake a particular
trip will all cause him stress and make it difficult for him to get on with
different tasks in life.  We want there to be in your house a healthy
atmosphere of love that could help the family and future children, in sha
Allah, to achieve high goals and to strive to support His religion and be a
help to His righteous slaves. 

What we also advise you to do is: 

(a)Fulfil the religious duties
that are required of you and do naafil acts of worship too.

(b)Regularly recite the adhkaar of
the morning and the evening

(c)Seek knowledge by reading or
listening

(d)Call women among your
neighbours and relatives to Allah

(e)Try to have shar‘i love in your
heart towards Allah and His Messenger (blessings and peace of Allah be upon
him) by following the commands, heeding the prohibitions, loving the
religion of Allah, defending it and spreading it among people, and having
natural love towards your parents and children.

All of that will give a meaning to your life that is more
sublime than devoting your life only to your husband and loving him only. 

We ask Allah, may He be exalted, to help you to do that which
He loves and which pleases Him, and to make the love and compassion between
you lasting and to bless you with righteous offspring, 

And Allah is the source of strength.

Praise be to Allah.Allah has created man in a world of trials and tests, and He has made Paradise the abode of His friends and beloved ones, who preferred His pleasure over their own and preferred obedience to Him over their physical comfort. And He has made Hell the abode of those among His slaves who disobey Him and preferred their own whims and desires to the pleasure of their Lord. Allah says (interpretation of the meaning): 
“Such is the Paradise which We shall give as an inheritance to those of Our slaves who have been Al-Muttaqoon (the pious)”
[Maryam 19:63]
“But as for him who feared standing before his Lord, and restrained himself from impure evil desires and lusts.
Verily, Paradise will be his abode”
[al-Naaz’i’aat 79:40-41]
And He says concerning the people of Hell (interpretation of the meaning): 
 
“Then, there has succeeded them a posterity who have given up As-Salaat (the prayers) [i.e. made their Salaat (prayers) to be lost, either by not offering them or by not offering them perfectly or by not offering them in their proper fixed times] and have followed lusts. So they will be thrown in Hell”
[Maryam 19:59]
 And He says (interpretation of the meaning): 
“That shall be their recompense, Hell; because they disbelieved and took My Ayaat (proofs, evidences, verses, lessons, signs, revelations, etc.) and My Messengers by way of jest and mockery”
[al-Kahf 18:106] 
“Then for him who transgressed all bounds, (in disbelief, oppression and evil deeds of disobedience to Allah).
And preferred the life of this world (by following his evil desires and lusts),
Verily, his abode will be Hell-fire”
[al-Naazi’aat 79:37-39]
So the Muslim must strive to worship Allah and keep away from that which angers Allah, for Allah will not cause the reward the one who does good to be lost: 
“As for those who strive hard in Us (Our Cause), We will surely guide them to Our paths (i.e. Allah’s religion — Islamic Monotheism). And verily, Allah is with the Muhsinoon (good-doers)”
[al-‘Ankaboot 29:69 – interpretation of the meaning]
One of the fitnahs (temptations) with which we are tested is the fitnah of women, as the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “I have not left behind me any fitnah (temptation) more harmful to men than women.” There follow some of the methods by which we can avoid this temptation. We ask Allah to set the affairs of the Muslims straight. 
1 – Faith in Allah.
Faith in Allah and fear of Allah provide a safety valve and protect a person against committing haraam actions and following his own whims and desires. 
If the believer becomes aware that Allah is always watching and if he ponders the meanings of His names and attributes, such as the All-Knowing, the All-Hearing, the All-Seeing, the Watchful, the Reckoner, the Preserver, the All-Encompassing, that will generate fear of Him in secret and in public, and will put a stop to disobedience towards Allah, and will reduce the strength of desire that leads many people to commit haraam actions.  
2 – Lowering the gaze and avoiding looking at haraam things
The gaze can generate bad thoughts in the heart, which then lead to ideas and then to desires, then to will and resolve, and then inevitably to doing haraam things. Think about the meaning of this verse which makes a connection between the first steps towards haraam and the end result. Allah says (interpretation of the meaning): 
“Tell the believing men to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts). That is purer for them. Verily, Allah is All-Aware of what they do”
[al-Noor 24:30]
Ibn Katheer said: “This is a command from Allah to His believing slaves, to lower their gaze and avoid looking at that which is forbidden to them so that they only look at that which they are permitted to look at.  If it so happens that a person’s gaze accidentally falls upon something haraam, he should turn his gaze away from it quickly. 
3 – Warding off evil thoughts
Bad thoughts pose a danger to the heart… If a person dwells on them and does not push them away, they will develop into an idea, then into will and resolve, then this will inevitably lead to haraam actions.  Beware of dwelling on passing thoughts; rather what you must do is to ward them off and crowd them out with good thoughts. 
The treatment, then, is to ward off these passing thoughts and keep yourself busy with beneficial thoughts. 
4 – Marriage
It was narrated that ‘Abd-Allah ibn Mas’ood said: The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “O young men, whoever among you can afford it, let him get married, and whoever cannot, let him fast, for it will be a shield for him.” Narrated by al-Bukhari, 5065. 
5 – Fasting for those who cannot afford to get married
– because of the hadeeth quoted above, in which it says, “…and whoever cannot, let him fast, for it will be a shield for him.” Narrated by al-Bukhari, 5065. 
Al-Qurtubi said: 
The less a person eats, the weaker his desire becomes, and the weaker his desire is, the less sins he commits. 
6 – Keeping away from bad companions.
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “A man will follow the way of his close friends, so let each one of you look at who he takes as a close friend.” Narrated by Abu Dawood, 8433; classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi Dawood, 4046. 
7 – Keeping away from places of temptation.
It is obvious that we are living in a society that is filled with temptation – media of all types, magazines, flirting in the marketplaces, satellite TV, the internet, etc… So you have to flee from all of these in order to keep your religious commitment sound. 
8 – Do not make your houses graves.
Make your house a reminder of obedience, not of sin. If a room is connected to sin for example, that will make a person commit sin repeatedly, because every time he enters that room he will remember the sin and may be provoked to commit the sin again. So he should make his room and his house a reminder of obedience to Allah, so when he enters he sees the Mus-haf which he reads, and he remembers praying qiyaam al-layl for Allah, and the regular Sunnah prayers that he offers in this room. Doing a lot of acts of worship in your house will make a connection in your mind between the house and doing good deeds, so you will do more and will think less of sin, and the calls of desire will grow less. 
9 – Trying to make the most of your time in worshipping and obeying Allah. 
Time is one of the great blessings that Allah has bestowed upon His slaves, but there are many who are not making the most of it. It was narrated that Ibn ‘Abbaas (may Allah be pleased with him) said: The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “Two blessings which many people do not make the most of: good health and spare time.” Narrated by al-Bukhari, 6412. 
See also question no. 3234. 
10 – Remembering the blessings of the Hereafter. 
Particularly appropriate in this context is remembering al-hoor al-‘iyn and their attributes, whom Allah has prepared for those who are patient and steadfast in avoiding sin. This can help the Muslim to look away from these transient haraam pleasures which only lead to regret and loss. 
We ask Allah to help us to avoid temptation, both obvious and hidden. Praise be to Allah the Lord of the Worlds.

Praise be to Allah.Your friend made a mistake by telling the one who came to propose marriage to you about your previous relationship from which you have repented. What she did is not good and is not in accordance with sharee’ah, nor is it wise.  The Muslim is enjoined to conceal his brother’s faults if he sees him committing sin in secret, so how about a sin from which the person has repented?! 
What she did is not naseehah (sincerity or sincere advice) which is enjoined by sharee’ah on the one who is asked about a person with a view to marriage because that has to do with what he knows of the characteristics that are present at the time of asking, and it is not permissible for anyone to mention a bad past from which the person has repented. 
What we understand from your words is that your friend told your husband  of your previous relationship before he proposed to you. This indicates that he has forgiven you for that because he knows that you have repented and become righteous. 
He did right by doing so, for there is no one who does not make some mistakes, but if he repents from them, he cannot be blamed or punished. The Messenger (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The one who repents from sin is like one who did not sin at all.” Narrated by Ibn Maajah, 4250; classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh Ibn Maajah. 
What you should do is avoid bringing this subject up with your husband, but if he brings it up you should tell him that it was a passing relationship and one of the tricks of the Shaytaan, but you regret it, and Allaah has guided you and enabled you to repent. 
Do not worry about this past so long as you have indeed repented and become righteous. Ask Allaah for strength and guidance and to accept your repentance.  
“And verily, I am indeed forgiving to him who repents, believes (in My Oneness, and associates none in worship with Me) and does righteous good deeds, and then remains constant in doing them (till his death)”
[Ta-Ha 20:82]
The Messenger of Allaah says: “Every son of Adam is prone to err, and the best of those who err are those who repent.” Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 2499; classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi. 
We ask Allaah to bless you and bring you both together in goodness.  
And Allaah is the Source of Strength.