Tag: Q n A

Praise be to Allah.Firstly: 
You should praise Allaah for the blessings that He has bestowed upon you, namely Islam and true guidance, good health, the ability to hear, see and speak, and other innumerable blessings, including the positive things and success in your professional and family life that you mention. You should utter words of praise and thanksgiving to Allaah, for how many people are deprived of these blessings or many of them? 
If a person is content with that which Allaah has decreed for him, and is aware of the blessing of Allaah in the things that He has given him, he will enjoy peace of mind and his fear and grief will disappear. This will usually bring a solution to many of the things that are bothering him, such as lack of focus, shyness and so on. 
Secondly: 
Rest assured that these things that you mention can be dealt with, improved and changed, but this depends on whether you really want that and do the things that will help you to achieve that. One of the greatest means of doing that is asking Allaah to improve your attitude and to grant you maturity, and to protect you from the evil of your own self, and so on. So strive to recite a lot of the du’aa’s of that type narrated from the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). 
Another means of improving your memory and reducing forgetfulness is to keep your mind busy and make it get used to memorizing verses from the Book of Allaah. The more a person memorizes, the easier it becomes for him and the more enthusiastic he will become, and more able to achieve that. 
Another means is to stop looking, listening, speaking, eating and sleeping too much, so that your heart will be prepared to memorize that which is beneficial, for too many distractions make the mind unfocused. 
What is meant by doing too much of these things is that for which there is no need and in which there is no benefit. 
Another means is to avoid haraam things, especially in food and drink, and looking. Concerning this al-Shaafa’i (may Allaah have mercy on him) wrote his famous lines of verse: 
“I complained to Wakee’ about my bad memory, and he advised me to give up sin.
He said, ‘Know that knowledge is light, and the light of Allaah is not to be entrusted to a sinner.’” 
Thirdly: 
There is nothing wrong with you reading some books about organization which will help you learn the methods of being organized, making decisions, and controlling your feelings of anxiety and shyness, and interacting with people in general. 
We ask Allaah to give you strength and success in this world and in the Hereafter.

Praise be to Allah.There can be no doubt that Allaah only enjoins that in which there is wisdom, but in some cases the wisdom behind some rulings may be hidden from people, and in some cases it may be quite obvious – such as the prohibition on alcohol which clouds the mind and hinders people from the remembrance of Allaah and from prayer [cf. al-Maa’idah 5:91]. 
The wisdom behind the prescription of hijab is one of the most clear, because it is a covering for woman and guards their chastity, and it prevents the foolish from making approaches and harassing them. How often has a woman’s hijab prevented the devils among mankind from harrassing her? How often have unveiled women made a display of their beauty and charms, which has led to their being harrassed by the foolish? Concerning this, Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 
“O Prophet! Tell your wives and your daughters and the women of the believers to draw their cloaks (veils) all over their bodies (i.e. screen themselves completely except the eyes or one eye to see the way). That will be better, that they should be known (as free respectable women) so as not to be annoyed. And Allaah is Ever Oft‑Forgiving, Most Merciful”
[al-Ahzaab 33:59]
This verse gives the complete answer to your question, because Allaah mentions here the command to His Messenger (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) to tell his wives and daughters and the believing women to wear hijab, and it mentions the wisdom behind that, which is so that they may be protected and not exposed to annoyance. 
When women go out showing most of their bodies – as the questioner mentions – this is one of the greatest causes of crime and corruption of men’s morals, and of the spread of immorality. It is also degrading for woman, as we see women becoming cheap products for business-owners and advertisers, who show woman half-naked and devoid of modesty in order to attract customers and market their products. 
A woman’s body belongs to her and is not to be shared with people. When she gets married it belongs to her husband and she should not let anyone else have a share in it. What does a woman want when she shows her body and exposes her charms to onlookers? Does she just want them to look and stare, and what is the affect of that on rapists and the foolish? How are you going to stop them from getting what they want by attacking you and trying to rape you. Are you going to show some meat to the hungry and then try to stop them from eating it? 
In a modern study it was shown that: 
65% of female workers are exposed to sexual harassment in their place of work in some European countries. 
18% of women in America have been raped or been subjected to attempted rape at some stage in their lives. 
More than half of victims were under the age of 17. 
Kitaab Ihsaa’aat, Diraasaat, Arqaam (p. 140). 
Islamic sharee’ah brought that which is best for men and for women, and for the family and society. It does not impose restrictions on women as some enemies of Islam claim. Islam allows women to work, seek knowledge, engage in business, testify in court, uphold the ties of kinship, visit the sick, and so on, but it has set limits regarding her going out in order to protect her and to prevent the foolish from harassing her. 
We say to the questioner: 
Many western women, when they think about it and come to know the reality of Allaah’s laws concerning women, do not hesitate to declare their Islam and enter into the religion of the Prophets and the righteous. 
In Islam, women are protected and looked after. That is not in return for her staying in the home only, rather that is because she plays a great role, which is taking care of her husband and raising and caring for children. This is an important role, because the soundness or corruption of society depends on the extent to which mothers are successful in their raising and teaching of their children. 
One of the largest British insurance companies carried out a study on one million housewives, which produced amazing results. This study showed that the average full-time housewife spends 19 hours per day meeting the needs of her family, because she is the one who is raising the children, teaching them, looking after family members when they fall sick, and is responsible for the household budget. 
In addition to that – looking at what the houswife’s value from a purely materialistic point of view, far removed from any emotional criteria – a woman who stays at home is the most valuable thing the family can have. 
Op. cit., p. 118, 119 
It has become clear to many wise women the serious danger posed by the false freedom that they are enjoying and they have finally realized where this path will lead them. It is stated in another study that: 
80% of American women think that the freedom that women have gained in the last 30 years is the reason for the promiscuity and violence that are prevalent nowadays.  
75% feel worried about the loss of values and the disintegration of the family. 
80% have great difficulty in combining their responsibilities at work with their responsibilities towards their husbands and children. 
87% said that if the clock was turned back they would consider the demands for equality as a social conspiracy against the United States and they would resist those who raise the banner of equality. 
op. cit., p. 147 
All it needs is for you to think about the matter a little, and look at real life, and you will see that hijab spares women from evil, harm and crimes. Islam has closed the door to such evils with its laws, including the requirement for women past the age of puberty to wear hijab. 
Finally we would like to congratulate you on the fact that Allaah has granted you a Muslim husband, so that you will be able to see Islam in practice from him and his Muslim relatives, which may encourage you to enter Islam and which may remove the barrier of fear about entering this great and purely monotheistic religion. Also note that entering this final religion, which Allaah wants for all people, is a great honour of which you may be deprived if you delay and death then overtakes you. So hasten to enter Islam, with submission to the will of Allaah, with eagerness and delighting in this blessing of Allaah.  
You should note that if you fall short in your observance of hijab because your human weakness or you feel embarrassed in front of your people, this is regarded as a sin. That should not prevent you from doing the great good deed which will lead you to Paradise and save you from Hell, namely embracing Islam. You should also note that the Shaytaan (Satan) is the enemy of all the sons of Adam, and he is the one who is stirring up these doubts in order to prevent you from entering this religion, so that he can increase the number of those who will follow him to Hell. So be strong and courageous in making the decision that will lead to eternal happiness, by Allaah’s leave. We ask Allaah to help you and to give you the will power to enter Islam as our sister in Islam, and to share this blessing. We thank you for your confidence in us. 
And Allaah is the Guide to the Straight path.

Praise be to Allah.The doctors say that the phenomenon of nail biting among children is connected to psychological problems. If you have had this problem since you were small, then we advise you to consult a psychologist whom you trust with regard to his religious commitment and knowledge. 
From the point of view of sharee’ah: 
Islam brought the best of attitudes and habits, and forbids bad attitudes and habits. This habit – nail biting – is disliked by most people and they regard it as a bad habit. This is in addition to the physical harm that it may do, because of the dirt that collects under the fingernails and the damage that this may do to the nails and teeth. 
Hence you should make yourself stop this habit. That may be difficult in the beginning, but you will get used to it and it will become a habit after that. This is the case with all good attitudes that a person can make himself do until they becomes a habit and second nature for him. As the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, “Knowledge comes by learning and patience comes by making oneself be patient.” classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’, 2328. 
And Allaah knows best.

Praise be to Allah.There are some facts and some illusions connected to the issue of jinn possession, and among most people nowadays the illusions outweigh the facts. The Sunnis are unanimously agreed that the jinn can dwell in the bodies of humans, but that does not mean that everyone who has epilepsy is possessed by the jinn, because epilepsy may have physical causes. The pains etc. that many people feel in their bodies cannot be ascribed for certain to the actions of the jinn, rather they may be illusions or something imaginary. 
So you should not pay any attention to the whispers of the Shaytaan that make you think that he has done this and that you can control it. This is one of the ways in which the Shaytaan deceives the Muslim and makes him think that he can control him, and that he has powers that in fact he does not possess. This may lead to bad consequences as has happened to many people. 
You have to keep on treating yourself with ruqyah, for the Book of your Lord is available to you. Recite from it and treat yourself with ruqyah. Whether you are possessed or not, you will undoubtedly benefit from this reading and ruqyah. 
For more information please see question no. 3476. 
If you go to someone who is known for using ruqyah as prescribed in sharee’ah and is also righteous and keeps away from deviance and myths, there is nothing wrong with that and it may be a means of your being healed from this problem. 
You have to seek the help of Allaah and pray to Him and beseech Him to prevent the plots of the devils among mankind and the jinn from harming you. Man is always in need of his Lord, and Allaah is Able to rid you of these thoughts, illusions and facts that are harming you. 
And Allaah knows best.

Praise be to Allah.Firstly: 
We praise Allaah for having guided them to Islam, and we ask Allaah to make them steadfast in Islam until death, so that they may attain the Paradise of Allaah and His good pleasure. We give them the glad tidings that Islam erases whatever sin came before it. No matter what sins a person may have committed, if Allaah then blesses him with guidance to Islam, then he will become cleansed and free from sin as on the day his mother bore him. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 
“Say to those who have disbelieved, if they cease (from disbelief), their past will be forgiven”
[al-Anfaal 8:38]
“If they cease” means if they give up their kufr or disbelief by submitting to Allaah alone, with no partner or associate. Tafseer al-Sa’di. 
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Islam erases whatever came before it” (narrated by Muslim, 121) – meaning, of sin. 
Secondly: 
A man does not have the right to form a relationship with a woman who is a stranger (non-mahram) to him. If something of that nature happened before they got married, it is a sin which is recorded against them. If that happened before they became Muslim, then Allaah has forgiven it when they became Muslim. 
If that happened after they became Muslim, then they have to repent from that. Allaah has promised to accept the repentance of the one who turns to Him in repentance. He says (interpretation of the meaning): 
“And He it is Who accepts repentance from His slaves, and forgives sins, and He knows what you do”
[al-Shoora 42:25]
“But indeed, I am the Perpetual Forgiver of whoever repents and believes and does righteousness and then continues in guidance.”
[Ta-Ha 20:82]
For more information on repentance and its conditions, please see question no. 13990. 
Thirdly: 
There is no sin involved in a man’s marrying a second wife. Allaah has permitted a man to have up to four wives, if he is able to treat them fairly and give them all their rights. He does not have to inform his first wife of his desire to marry a second or that he has already done so. 
Fourthly: 
With regard to the man’s duties towards his children and first wife, he has to spend on them according to their needs. What really matters is that he should try to guide them and save them from the Fire, as Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 
“O you who believe! Ward off yourselves and your families against a Fire (Hell) whose fuel is men and stones, over which are (appointed) angels stern (and) severe, who disobey not, (from executing) the Commands they receive from Allaah, but do that which they are commanded”
[al-Tahreem 66:6]
So he must do all that he can to call his wife to Islam and to advise her, and encourage her to embrace Islam. If she refuses then he can still remain married to her and not divorce her if she is from among the People of the Book (i.e., Jewish or Christian). But if she is an idol-worshipper then it is not permissible for her to remain the wife of a Muslim, so in that case he has to divorce her. 
Please see also question no. 9949. 
It should be noted that if one of the parents becomes Muslim and his children are still small (i.e., below the age of adolescence), then they are judged to be Muslim because of his becoming Muslim. But if they are adults or have reached the age of adolescence, then that is not the case. See al-Mughni, 13/115; Ahkaam Ahl al-Dhimmah by Ibn al-Qayyim, 2/507. 
Based on this, if the small children know that Allaah has blessed him and them with guidance to the true religion, then he has to teach them about tahaarah (purity, i.e., wudoo’) and prayer, and other rulings, so that they will grow up with it and get used to doing it, following the command of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him): “Teach your children to pray when they are seven years old and smack them if they do not do it when they are ten, and separate them in their beds.”
Narrated by Abu Dawood, 495; classed as saheeh by Shaykh al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’, 5868. 
See also question no. 10016. 
He should not stay here for work and leave his young children exposed to loss and deviation; he should try to bring them here to be with him, so that he will be able to do that which Allaah has enjoined him to do of bringing them up well. If he cannot bring them here then he should be in constant contact with them, corresponding with them and guiding them. It is not permissible for him to neglect them and leave them to be lost. He will be responsible for them on the Day of Resurrection.  
We also encourage our new brother and his wife to learn the rulings of Islam by reading and asking knowledgeable people and reading useful Islamic sites on the internet, and to apply whatever they have learned in the required manner. 
We ask Allaah to make them steadfast and help them to do that which He loves and which pleases Him. 
And Allaah knows best.

Praise be to Allah.The husband has to understand that Allaah has
enjoined upon him to take care of his children, to bring them up properly and to look after their affairs. He has also enjoined upon him to treat
his wife in a good and kind manner. Allaah will question him about every shortcoming with regard to these duties on the Day of Resurrection. 
Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 
“O you who believe! Ward off yourselves and
your families against a Fire (Hell) whose fuel is men and stones, over which are (appointed) angels stern (and) severe, who disobey not, (from
executing) the Commands they receive from Allaah, but do that which they are commanded”
[al-Tahreem 66:6] 
“and live with them [women] honourably”
[al-Nisa’ 4:19]
Secondly: 
The husband should not allow into his life
anything that may come between him and his taking care of his family, such as working continually, or allowing friends or relatives to take all
his time or interfere in his family’s affairs. 
Nowadays the Muslim cannot find enough time
to do all the things that Allaah has enjoined upon him, so how can he waste his time with other things at the expense of these duties? 
Thirdly: 
The wife should not try to come between her
husband and his family. She should not complain about him visiting them or their visiting him, unless he is giving that priority over the duties
that Allaah has enjoined upon him. 
The father should not give anyone priority
over his children, whether that is his brother or any other relative. Hence there is no need to cause a split and break the family ties between
your husband and his brother, or between the children and their paternal uncle, because that will have a far-reaching effect on their
relationships with other people and with their relatives. 
Fourthly:
We advise you to be kind and gentle towards your husband, and to show him that you have nothing against his relationship with his brother. Do not
cause your children to dislike him. 
If you see any shortcoming on your husband’s
part with regard to his shar’i duties towards you, then denounce that and remind him in a manner that is better, without being too harsh. You can
do that by hinting rather than stating it bluntly, unless there is a need for that.  
We have seen similar cases in some families
where the wife had another member of her family staying with them for some reason.  So we think that the husband’s treatment of his family will
get better if he sees his wife treating his family in a better manner. 
And Allaah knows best.

Praise be to Allah.We appreciate your getting in touch with us, and we ask Allaah to guide us and protect us from the evil of our own selves.
 With regard to your sister’s situation, it is the same in the case of many young people these days. We ask Allaah to guide them and us. Our duty towards them – as it seems to be – is as follows:
 Firstly: we should turn to Allaah and ask Him to guide them, for He is the controller of the hearts. Perhaps a du’aa (supplication) from the heart will be the cause of her happiness in this world and in the Hereafter.
 Secondly: you should stop dealing with her on the basis that she is a child or that she does not know what is in her best interests. People – especially in adolescence – like the people around them to make them feel that they are important; they do not like people to treat them as if they are still children.
 Thirdly: try to get her in touch with righteous young women, and keep her away from her friends who are not good, even if that means changing her school. That should be done without her realizing what is going on, because otherwise she may become more stubborn which will make the problem worse.
 Fourthly: You should not look at her with disapproval only, rather you should express your approval of good things that she does and you should give her gifts if she does good things.
 Fifthly: you could advise her via a person whom she likes, such as a teacher or friend, etc.
 Sixthly: You should try to give her audio materials or books containing teachings in an indirect manner, such as putting them near her or listening to the audio in the car whilst she is riding in it.
 With regard to her not praying, this is an extremely serious matter. The status of prayer in Islam is that of a foundation on which the entire structure rests. Hence the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, “The covenant that stands between us and them is prayer; whoever does not pray is a kaafir (disbeliever).” (Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 2621; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi, 2113)
 And he (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Between a man and shirk (polytheism) and kufr stands his giving up prayer.” (Narrated by Muslim, 82).
 So you have to advise her and preach to her and guide her to the right way; for this purpose you may combine encouragement and threat, gentleness and strictness; if the matter requires some harshness sometimes, there is nothing wrong with using it.
 The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Teach your children to pray when they are seven years old, and hit them (lightly) if they do not pray when they are ten, and separate them in their beds.” (Narrated by Abu Dawood, 495; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi Dawood, 466.
 This strictness and harshness is only in her best interests.
 We ask Allaah to set the affairs of the Muslims straight.

Praise be to Allah.Firstly: 
Who has guided you to Islam. This is a great blessing that
cannot be matched by any other blessing on earth. 
Secondly: 
Undoubtedly the committed Muslim who is new in Islam will face some difficulties
and problems, especially when they come from a way of life which has to be changed when one enters Islam. As a result, the new Muslim may face
some difficulties with his family and the society in which he lives. 
Thirdly: 
The new Muslim must look for committed and righteous friends who can help him,
teach him and give him advice so that he will not be affected by the atmosphere around him, and so that the Shaytaan or bad friends cannot make
him slip or go back to his former ways.  
Fourthly: 
I advise this Muslim sister to fear Allaah and to wear proper Islamic hijab. She
may face some difficulties but Allaah will help her and will protect her if He knows that she has a sincere and pure intention. 
Fifthly: 
I advise her not to go to university because that will lead her to doing some
things that are forbidden in sharee’ah, such as dealing with riba (interest) – as mentioned in the question – or taking off her hijab or mixing
freely with men. 
Sixthly: 
I advise her to look for a Muslim husband who will keep her chaste and under whose
protection she can live, as that Muslim taxi driver mentioned to her. She should seek the help of Allaah to achieve that. And she should strive to
learn Islam so that she can call others to Allaah and save whoever she can among her family, relatives and society from dying in shirk. This is
the best and most important of deeds. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 
“And who is better in speech than he who [says: ‘My Lord is Allaah (believes in
His Oneness),’ and then stands firm (acts upon His Order), and] invites (men) to Allaah’s (Islamic Monotheism), and does righteous deeds, and
says: ‘I am one of the Muslims’”
[Fussilat 41:33]
I ask Allaah to make you steadfast in Islam and to guide your family. 
And Allaah knows best.

Praise be to Allah.Firstly: I would like to remind you of what
the Messenger (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “I have not left behind me any fitnah (temptation) that is more harmful to
men than women.” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 4808; Muslim, 2740, from the hadeeth of Usaamah ibn Zayd). 
Secondly: It is permissible for a woman to be
in her father’s house when there is a non-mahram present, so long as there is no fear of haraam mixing or of the fitnah (temptation) that may
happen as a result of that. 
But if there is no guarantee that there will
be no mixing and no fitnah, then that is not permissible. It is even more haraam if the woman does not observe proper Islamic hijaab. 
Thirdly: a boy of four years of age is not
considered to be a mahram because the role of a mahram is to guard and protect the woman, and this cannot be done by a four year old child. So it
makes no difference whether this boy is there or not. 
Fourthly: if your wife’s father and brothers
take this man’s presence lightly and do not care if he is alone with your wife or if she takes off her hijaab in front of him, then it is not
permissible for you to leave your wife with them, because they are careless about protecting their daughter. The Prophet (peace and blessings
of Allaah be upon him) said: “Beware of entering upon women.” A man from among the Ansaar said: “O Messenger of Allaah, what do you think of the
in-law?” He said, “The in-law is death.” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari (4934) and Muslim (2172), from the hadeeth of ‘Uqbah ibn ‘Aamir). So you must
protect your wife and feel protective jealousy and pride (gheerah) where she is concerned, and not expose her to temptation. 
Fifthly: With regard to her going on trips,
there is nothing wrong with that if the place to which she is going is not one where immoral people meet, such as beaches and other places which
are very dubious, and so long as she will keep her hijaab on and stay far away from places of temptation. If you are worried that the presence of
that non-mahram man will be a cause of fitnah or may make her do something that Allaah has forbidden, then you must not allow your wife to travel
with them. This is the matter of praiseworthy protective jealousy (gheerah) that is loved by Allaah and His Messenger. If a man feels protective
jealousy towards his family he will stop them from committing immoral actions and anything that may lead to that. 
You should note that most of the disasters
that befall families come from friends or relatives, so try your best to protect your wife from that. 
And Allaah knows best.

Praise be to Allah.
There is no problem that cannot by solved by anyone, as
stated in the question. For every problem there is a solution, but the
problem is not in finding the solution, rather it depends on the one who is
going to implement the solution. Many of those who go through difficult
circumstances and ask for a solution imagine that the person they are asking
is able to take away the problem, but this is not correct. Rather all that a
human being can do is to suggest the best possible ways of reaching the
desired result, but the person must still make the effort to solve his
problem – this is very important and essential. 

With regard to what you asked about: 

Firstly: 

This dislike that they are showing may be based on incorrect
ideas about you, so perhaps it is only temporary and may disappear if you
try hard to be pleasant to them. I say this because we cannot be sure of
what may happen in the future. How often has a girl have been disliked by
her husband’s family in the beginning, then as they got to know her and saw
her good manners and good attitude, they changed their minds about her and
their condemnation turned to praise and their hatred to love. So do not
worry about what may happen, just be cheerful and optimistic about your
future with your husband. 

Secondly: 

You must show your best attitude towards your husband’s
family, who have the right to be treated in a good manner by you because
they are the family of your husband. Pay a great deal of attention to his
parents, and take care of his mother as if she were your own mother. If she
comes to your house, try to meet her with a friendly and smiling face, and
do not pay too much attention to your husband whilst she is there with you,
because this may stir up feelings of jealousy, which are very strong in
human beings. 

Thirdly: 

Turn to Allaah and make du’aa’, and ask Him to help you to
treat them well and to soften their hearts and make them love you. Realize
that no matter how hard you look for a solution, help is ultimately in His
hand. So turn to Him with all sincerity. May Allaah send blessings and peace
upon our Prophet Muhammad and upon his family.