Tag: Q n A

Praise be to Allah.
Firstly:

 We praise Allaah for having guided you to Islam and we ask
Him to increase you in guidance, faith and steadfastness. 

Secondly: 

Menstruation is something that Allaah has decreed for women.
It is well known that the menstruating woman may feel stressed and irritable
during her menses, but she has to fear Allaah and try hard to be patient;
she has to restrain her tongue and avoid things that Allaah has forbidden
such as swearing, insulting others, and so on. She must strive to control
herself with regard to that (jihad al-nafs), and she will find a change and
improvement, in sha Allaah. 

Thirdly: 

The husband should pay attention to his wife’s feelings and
be sympathetic if she is suffering with anything. He should overlook her
mistakes and try to comfort her, and be patient in doing so. He should not
hasten to punish her or leave her, for married life is not based on
separation, rather it is based on stability and continuity. Life is not free
of disturbances, and the couple will succeed to the extent that they are
able to overcome troubles and create happiness and affection between one
another. 

Fourthly:

 The husband has no right to harm his wife physically; it is
not permissible for him to hit her except in the case where other means of
correction have  failed, such as warning her and forsaking her in her bed.
If hitting becomes permissible, then it should not be done with the
intention of causing harm, rather the intention should be to rebuke and
discipline. Hence it is stipulated that it should not be a blow that leaves
a mark or causes pain. But hitting should not be resorted to except in
extreme cases. 

End quote from Fataawa ‘Ushrat al-Nisa’, p. 151, by
Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on him). 

Fifthly: 

The husband should help his family to obey Allaah and make it
easy for them to acquire beneficial knowledge, by bringing home books and
tapes, or taking them to Islamic centres so that they can learn how to read
Qur’aan and about Islam. If your husband falls short in this regard, you can
acquire many tapes through the Internet or by contacting some Islamic
centres that are close to you. 

Sixthly: 

Anger, swearing and feelings overwhelmed with what you have
to do may be dealt with in several ways: 

1 – Seeking refuge with Allaah from the accursed Shaytaan
when feeling angry. Al-Bukhaari (3282) and Muslim (2610) narrated that
Sulaymaan ibn Surad said: I was sitting with the Prophet (peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him) and two men were trading insults, One of
them was red in the face and his veins were standing out. The Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “I know a word which, if
he said it, what he is feeling would go away. If he said, ‘I seek refuge
with Allaah from the Shaytaan,’ what he is feeling would go away.” 

2 – Changing one’s posture when feeling angry. Abu Dawood
(4782) narrated that Abu Dharr (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: The
Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said to
us: “If one of you gets angry when he is standing, let him sit down; if his
anger disappears, all well and good, otherwise let him lie down.” Classed as
saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi Dawood. 

3 – Bring to mind the reward for patience, forbearance and
restraining your anger, for that is the characteristic of the pious who are
promised Paradise, as Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 
“And march forth in the
way (which leads to) forgiveness from your Lord, and for Paradise as wide as
the heavens and the earth, prepared for Al-Muttaqoon (the pious).

134. Those who spend (in Allaah’s Cause) in prosperity and
in adversity, who repress anger, and who pardon men; verily, Allaah loves
Al-Muhsinoon (the good‑doers)”

[Aal ‘Imraan 3:133-134]

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)
said: “Whoever restrains his anger when he is able to act upon it, Allaah
will fill his heart with pleasure on the Day of Resurrection.” Narrated by
Ibn Abi’l-Dunya; classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Targheeb,
2623. 
4 – Remember that anger
and swearing will not avail you anything and will not relieve you of any
burden, rather you earn sin thereby, and they bring more worry and stress.
Help and ease only come by drawing close to Allaah, may He be exalted, and
by striving to obey Him. 

5 – You should organize your time and hasten to carry out any
tasks you have to do, so that they will not pile up and make you feel
overwhelmed. 

6 – You should avail yourself of the beneficial treatment
that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) taught to
his daughter Faatimah (may Allaah be pleased with her), when she complained
that she had too much work and it was burdensome, and she needed a servant.
Al-Bukhaari (6318) and Muslim (2728) narrated from Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah
be pleased with him) that Faatimah (may Allaah be pleased with her) came to
the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and asked him
for a servant, complaining about her work. He said to her: “Shall I not tell
you of something that is better for you than a servant? Say Subhaan-Allaah
(Glory be to Allaah) thirty-three times, al-hamdu-Lillaah (praise be
to Allaah) thirty-three times, and Allaahu akbar (Allaah is Most
Great) thirty-four times when you go to bed.” Some of the scholars have
explained this hadeeth by noting that the one who regularly remembers Allaah
will be given strength that is greater than the strength used by a servant,
or things will become easy for him and he will no longer need a servant. 

End quote from Fath al-Baari. 

We ask Allaah to grant you help, steadfastness and success. 

And Allaah knows best.

Praise be to Allah.There is much that could be said about female
servants and the bad consequences of bringing them from abroad and letting stay in Muslim homes. Hence the Muslim should not resort to bringing
servants to live in the home, especially if there are adolescent boys in the house. If the servants are not Muslim, then it is even more definite
that they should not be brought into the home. The regrettable consequences of such actions are greater than can be enumerated. 
The one who brings in a servant also commits
other haraam actions, such as bringing her from her country without a mahram; causing her to be alone with non-mahram men in rooms and houses; and
looking at her and vice versa. 
Hence our scholars have warned against
employing servants except in cases of necessity. 
Shaykh Muhammad ibn Saalih ibn ‘Uthaymeen
said: 
Firstly: 
We should not employ female or male servants
except in cases of necessity. That is because bringing these servants involves spending money that a person does not need to spend. It was proven
that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) forbade wasting money. 
Secondly: 
Some of them are not honest enough to deserve
the trust we place in them, hence I say that we should not bring male or female servants from abroad unless the following conditions are met: 
With regard to women: 
Firstly: 
The female servant should have a mahram with
her, because it is not permissible to bring her to the country otherwise. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, “No
woman should travel without a mahram.” If a woman is brought in and has no mahram with her, this is going against the prohibition of the Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). 
Secondly: 
There should be a need for her services. If
there is no need and the only reason for bringing her here is to live a life of luxury and have no obligations, or to make life easy for his wife
even though the housework is not much, then the issue is subject to further discussion. 
The third condition: 
There should be no fear of fitnah
(temptation). If a man fears that he or one of his sons – if he has sons – may be subject to temptation, then it is not permissible for him to
expose himself to that. 
The fourth condition: 
She should adhere to what is required of her
of hijab, so she should cover her face and not uncover it. It is not correct to quote as evidence the verse (interpretation of the meaning): 
“And tell the believing women to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and
protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts) and not to show off their adornment except only that which is apparent (like both eyes for
necessity to see the way, or outer palms of hands or one eye or dress like veil, gloves, headcover, apron), and to draw their veils all over
Juyoobihinna (i.e. their bodies, faces, necks and bosoms) and not to reveal their adornment except to their husbands, or their fathers, or their
husband’s fathers, or their sons, or their husband’s sons, or their brothers or their brother’s sons, or their sister’s sons, or their (Muslim)
women (i.e. their sisters in Islam), or the (female) slaves whom their right hands possess”
[al-Noor 24:31] 
and it is not correct to interpret that as
meaning that it is permissible for a female servant to uncover her face in front of her male employer, because the one who hires a servant does
not own her (as in the case of a slave); rather she is a hired worker employed by him, and a hired worker is like any other non-mahram female when
it comes to hijab. 
The fifth condition: 
He should not be alone with her. If there is
no one else in the house with him, it is not permissible for him to employ her at all. If there are other people in the house with him but the
household members go out from the house and leave him alone with this servant, that is not permissible, because the Prophet (peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “No man should be alone with a woman unless her mahram is present.” 
As’ilat al-Baab al-Maftooh,
no. 619 
He also said: 
Bringing a female servant from her country without a mahram is haraam, because the Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “No woman should travel alone without a mahram.” But if she is already in the country and
he brings her to work as a servant in his house, if she is going to come to the house, do what is needed then go back to her own house, there is
no doubt that this is permissible, but if she is going to stay in his house, this is a dangerous matter, especially if he has adolescent sons, for
then there is the fear of immorality as has happened on some occasions. But if he does not have adolescent sons, then we hope – in sha Allaah –
that there is nothing wrong with that, but it is better to avoid that and for her to stay elsewhere and come to do her work in the morning or
afternoon and then go back. 
As’ilat al-Baab al-Maftooh,
no. 526. 
In conclusion: because of the shar’i
restrictions that we have noted above, and because there is no need in your case – since the parents do not want to bring a servant – then we do
not advise the brother to bring a servant. 
And Allaah knows best.

Praise be to Allah.
We ask Allaah to bless you with tranquility and peace of
mind, and to take away the stress and worry that you are experiencing, and
to grant you the means of goodness and success.

 We do not think that what you have mentioned of tiredness
and pain is experienced by everyone who goes through what you have gone
through. But at the least there is a measure of stress that a woman goes
through when she loses her husband and has to start dealing directly with
the burdens of life.  Moreover, women vary in their ability to put up with
things and try to overcome them. There are many divorced woman who have been
able to overcome these problems, and live happy and contented lives. This
depends on certain reasons which may be the solution in your case, in sha
Allah. There follow some of them, for you to ponder and try to put into
practice, so that you can regain the happiness that you have lost. 

1 – Developing a strong relationship with Allaah. That
includes believing that this problem and others happen by the will and
decree of Allaah and that Allaah is more compassionate and merciful towards
you than a mother towards her child, and that His decree is good for His
slave, both in the short and long term. Calamities expiate sin, bearing them
with patience raises one in status, and when Allaah loves His slave He tests
him. 
2 – You have two choices:
either you can live feeling miserable, worried and anxious, or you can bear
it with patience and seek reward, in the hope of attaining reward and rising
in status. Your sorrow will neither advance you nor put you back, as the
Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The greatest
reward comes with the greatest trial. When Allaah loves a people He tests
them. Whoever accepts that wins His pleasure but whoever is discontent with
that earns His wrath.” Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 2396; Ibn Maajah, 4031;
classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi. 
3 – Pondering the
blessings of Allaah, and striving to show gratitude for them, and comparing
these many blessings with the calamity that befell you. This opens the heart
to contentment. So think of how many blessings Allaah has bestowed upon you,
in your religion, your self, your health, your wealth and your children.
Think of the calamities that have befallen others. How many women are
paralyzed, how many suffer calamities that befall their children, or are
tested in their religious commitment, or suffer sickness, and so on. If you
think about this you will find that you are enjoying blessings for which you
are to be envied. You will realize that there are people who are suffering
greater calamities than you. This should make things easier for you and make
you give praise and thanks, and acknowledge the bounty and mercy of Allaah. 

4 – Thinking about the calamity that has befallen you, and
seeing the blessings that may be hidden therein. How many married women
suffer from harsh treatment and abuse from their husbands and live a
miserable life with them. You have been spared all that, so give praise to
Allaah. 

5 – Filling your time with things that will bring benefit in
this world and in the Hereafter. For example, you could join a centre that
teaches memorization of the Holy Qur’aan, attend religious lectures, read
useful books, learn useful domestic skills such as sewing, and so on. 

6 – Paying attention to the ultimate goal, which is to earn
the pleasure of Allaah and attain His Paradise and be saved from the Fire.
This requires buckling down to hard work and serious effort. That is the
basis of true success and true happiness in life. Allaah says
(interpretation of the meaning): 

“And whoever is removed away from the Fire and admitted to
Paradise, he indeed is successful. The life of this world is only the
enjoyment of deception (a deceiving thing)”

[Aal ‘Imraan 3:185]
7 – Having certain faith
that what is with Allaah is better for you; that He is the Most Merciful of
those who show mercy; that He is with the pious (those who fear Him) and
loves those who do good; He rewards those who are patient and helps the
believers, as He says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“Whoever works righteousness — whether male or female —
while he (or she) is a true believer (of Islamic Monotheism) verily, to him
We will give a good life (in this world with respect, contentment and lawful
provision), and We shall pay them certainly a reward in proportion to the
best of what they used to do (i.e. Paradise in the Hereafter)”

[al-Nahl 16:97]
Beware of complaining
about Him to His creation, because you are complaining about the One who has
mercy to one who has no mercy. The Prophet (peace and blessings of
Allaah be upon him) said: “Whoever is struck by poverty and he goes around
telling people about it (and complaining about it in the hope of receiving
help), then his calamity will not be relieved. Whoever is struck by poverty
and he complains to Allaah about it, Allaah will grant him relief sooner or
later.” 

Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 2326; Abu Dawood, 1645; classed as
saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi. 

8 – Frequently recite this du’aa’ which was narrated from the
Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him): 

It was narrated that ‘Abd-Allaah ibn Mas’ood (may Allaah be
pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of
Allaah be upon him) said: “If a person who is afflicted by anxiety or sorrow
says: ‘Allaahumma inni ‘abduka wa ibnu ‘abdika wa ibn ammatika naasiyati
bi yadika maadin fiyya hukmuka ‘adlun fiyya qadaa’uka as’aluka bi kulli
ismin huwa laka sammayta bihi nafsaka aw ‘allamtahu ahadan min khalqika aw
anzaltahu fi kitaabika aw asta’tharta bihi fi ‘ilm il-ghaybi ‘indaka an
taj’al al-Qur’aana rabee’a qalbi wa noora sadri wa jalaa’a huzni wa dhahaaba
hammi (O Allaah, I am Your slave, son of Your slave, son of Your female
slave, my forelock is in Your hand, Your command over me is forever executed
and Your decree over me is just. I ask You by every name belonging to You
with which You have named Yourself, or, or You have taught to any of Your
creation, or You have revealed in Your Book, or You have preserved in the
knowledge of the Unseen with You, that You make the Qur’aan the life of my
heart and the light of my breast, and a departure for my sorrow and a
release for my anxiety)’, then Allaah will take away his anxiety and sorrow,
and will replace it with joy.”  

It was said: “O Messenger of Allaah, should we not learn it?”
He said: “Yes, whoever hears it should learn it.” 

Narrated by Ahmad; classed as saheeh by Shaykh al-Albaani in
al-Silsilah al-Saheehah, 199 

We ask Allaah to relieve you of your anxiety and replace it
with joy. 
And Allaah knows
best.

Praise be to Allah.If your husband is wise and religiously committed, and he trusts you a great deal, then what he should do is to believe you when you say that you are innocent of any wrongdoing, especially since the breaking of the hymen may be caused by many things, not necessarily by committing the sin of fornication. 
This is if we accept what you have discovered about your not being a virgin. It may be that intercourse has taken place between you but the hymen was not broken, and so there was no bleeding, because of the nature of the hymen. It may be that the hymen is flexible and cannot be broken by intercourse, and requires medical intervention, as is well known to the experts in this field. 
The hymen is simply a physical sign which cannot be considered proof of whether the woman is a virgin or not or whether she has committed an immoral act or not. Hence we find that in court, usually the absence of the hymen is not regarded as grounds for making accusations against the woman, because it may be broken for many reasons. 
So the fact that the hymen is present is not a positive indication that a woman is a virgin, and its absence is not a positive sign of the opposite. 
We advise you to refer to a female doctor to make the matter clear, because there may be many reasons why the hymen is broken. 
We hope that your husband will understand this matter and will not be hasty in judging you. You should be aware that one of the aims of the Shaytaan is to cause division between husbands and wives, because of the great evil that results from that affecting families and individuals, as we see in the hadeeth of Jaabir who said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: ‘Iblees placed his throne on water then he sends out his emissaries, and the closest of them to him in status is the one who causes the most fitnah (tribulation). One of them comes and says, ‘I did such and such,’ and he says, ‘You have not done much.’ Then another of them comes and says, ‘I did not leave him alone until I caused division between him and his wife,’ and he draws him close to him and says, ‘How good you are.’” Muslim, 5023. 
So he should close this door to the Shaytaan and avoid thinking about this matter, so long as this matter is not definitive and you are certain that nothing bad happened.  
We ask Allaah to guide him and to reconcile between you. 
And Allaah is the Source of strength.

Praise be to Allah.
Firstly: 

You have to repent and seek forgiveness, and regret what you
have done by getting in touch with men who are not your mahrams, and
speaking to them and going out with them. 

You must also cut off all ties with this second man
immediately, with no hesitation, because the relationship between you is
haraam.  

How can you accept to be the cause of his divorcing his wife?
If you were in her position, would you accept for your husband to divorce
you in order to marry another woman who has come between you to spoil your
lives? 

Secondly: 

We do not know how a wise man could agree to marry a woman
when he knows that she has had a haraam relationship with a man before him
and she has not repented from that relationship. 

Whatever happened to chastity and protective jealousy? Does
he not fear that this man may come back into her life again? 

To put it bluntly, either this woman has repented or she has
not. If she has repented from those relationships then there can never be
any contact or relationship between them except in marriage. In this case
there is nothing wrong with marrying her, but he should obey his mother, and
not divorce his first wife. 

If she has not repented from these actions, then it is not
unlikely that she may form a relationship with a third man and a fourth. 

Similarly, in your case, how can you agree to marry a man who
is content to form haraam relationships, speaking and meeting with women? If
he has repented, then there can never be any meetings between you, and if he
has not repented, then a man like that cannot be trusted. His aim may be
just to have fun with you, and even if he is sincere in wanting to marry
you, there is nothing that would stop him from forming haraam relationships
with other women. 

Hence you have to cut off all ties without hesitating, and
pray for forgiveness from Allaah for wasting your life in haraam pursuits.
Turn to Allaah and ask Him to purify your heart and to remove all traces of
those haraam relationships which have corrupted your heart and mind, let
alone detracted from your religious commitment. 

If you are sincere in repenting there is the hope that Allaah
will bless you with someone better than him, and will make it easy for you
to get married to a chaste and righteous man who will treat you in a decent
manner and help you to attain the pleasure of your Lord, and you and he will
form a believing family and produce good and righteous offspring. 

Do not pay any attention to your heart and emotions, for in
this case emotion has overpowered reason and religious commitment, and has
harmed your spiritual and worldly interests. Your heart now is sick so you
should not let it lead you to Hell. 

Seek the help of Allaah, for He will not let down the one who
seeks His help, and the one who humbles himself before his Lord will never
lose out. Do a lot of righteous deeds, and seek righteous, believing female
friends who can help you to deal with your worries and help you to obey your
Lord. 

And Allaah is the Source of strength.

Praise be to Allah.
Offering sincere advice to the slaves of Allaah is one of
the most important branches of faith and symbols of Islam, to such an
extent that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)
described it as being the religion itself, as an indication of its great
importance. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)
said: “Religion is sincerity (or sincere advice – naseehah).”
(Narrated by Muslim, 55). And Allaah tells us that whoever does this, that
is true success. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“Let there arise out
of you a group of people inviting to all that is good (Islam), enjoining
Al-Ma‘roof (i.e. Islamic Monotheism and all that Islam orders one to do) and
forbidding Al-Munkar (polytheism and disbelief and all that Islam has
forbidden). And it is they who are the successful”

[Aal ‘Imraan 3:104]

So long as you fulfilled your duty of offering sincere
advice, and your intention was good, then do not feel sad about the problems
that have befallen you (which is a test), for Paradise is the reward of
Allaah, and the reward of Allaah is precious and is surrounded with
hardships, and everything has a price. 

Remember that everyone who does this great duty will
inevitably meet with harm from people, or opposition. Hence Luqmaan the Wise
said to his son: 
“O my son! Aqim‑is‑Salaah
(perform As‑Salaah), enjoin (on people) Al‑Ma‘roof  (Islamic Monotheism and
all that is good), and forbid (people) from Al‑Munkar (i.e. disbelief in the
Oneness of Allaah, polytheism of all kinds and all that is evil and bad),
and bear with patience whatever befalls you. Verily, these are some of the
important commandments (ordered by Allaah with no exemption)”

[Luqmaan 31:17]

Remember that the good end is for the pious (those who fear
Allaah), and Allaah will not cause the reward of those who do good to be
lost, and He is with those who are patient. So turn to Him and seek His
protection, and say Allaah (Alone) is Sufficient for me, and He is the Best
Disposer of affairs (for me). Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“Those (i.e. believers) unto whom the people (hypocrites)
said, ‘Verily, the people (pagans) have gathered against you (a great army),
therefore, fear them.’ But it (only) increased them in Faith, and they said:
‘Allaah (Alone) is Sufficient for us, and He is the Best Disposer of affairs
(for us).’

174. So they returned with grace and bounty from Allaah.
No harm touched them; and they followed the good Pleasure of Allaah. And
Allaah is the Owner of great bounty”

[Aal ‘Imraan 3:174-175]

No matter how much they plot against you, their plot will
backfire on them. 

“But the evil plot encompasses only him who makes it”

[Faatir 35:43]
So receive the glad
tidings of the help and support of Allaah, make a lot of du’aa’ and pray for
forgiveness. Remember that the prayer of the one who has been wronged or
oppressed is not rejected, as the Prophet (peace and blessings of
Allaah be upon him) said: “There are three whose prayers will undoubtedly be
answered: the prayer of a father, the prayer of a traveller, and the prayer
of one who has been wronged.” Narrated by Abu Dawood, 1536; al-Tirmidhi,
1905; Ibn Maajah, 3862; classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi
Dawood. 
But we advise you to
leave this job and relieve yourself of that in which there is evil and harm,
and to move to another place; may Allaah give you someone better than them
and give you a trustworthy and kind boss. 
If you cannot move from
this place, then try to take a leave of absence for a while until things
calm down; Allaah may cause things to change. 
If you can do without
this job altogether, and save yourself from all this trouble and heartache
and devote your efforts to taking care of your house and children, then this
is best, and Allaah will reward you for that with His blessings and
compensate you with something better.  
We ask Allaah to relieve
your distress and take away your sorrow, and to protect you against the evil
of every evil person. 
And Allaah knows best.

Praise be to Allah.It is emphatically forbidden to have intercourse with one’s wife in her back passage, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Whoever has intercourse with a menstruating woman or with a woman in her back passage, or goes to a fortuneteller and believes what he says, has disbelieved in that which was revealed to Muhammad.” Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 135; Ibn Maajah, 639; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi. 
And he said: “Cursed is the one who has intercourse with a woman in her back passage.” Narrated by Ahmad, 9731; Abu Dawood, 2162; classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi Dawood. See also question no. 1103. 
With regard to your avoiding marriage because of these fears, this is dealing with one mistake by making another. Ignore this waswaas (whisper from the Shaytaan) and keep busy with things that will benefit you in both spiritual and worldly ways. Ask Allaah to purify your heart and protect your chastity; hasten to get married for that is the best remedy for you. Beware of the wrath and anger of Allaah and of His painful punishment, and do not be one of those who are heedless. 
Remember Allaah a great deal and do lots of acts of worship, lower your gaze and avoid looking at haraam things, and avoid committing sinful actions, so that these evil devilish thoughts will leave you. 
With regard to coming to your wife from behind but over her clothes, you should avoid doing that. Do not be like a shepherd who grazes his flocks around a sanctuary and soon transgresses its boundary, as the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said. (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 25; Muslim, 1599). 
Ibn Rajab (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: 
Allaah has guarded these haraam things and forbidden His slaves to approach them, and he calls them His limits. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 
“These are the limits (set) by Allaah, so approach them not. Thus does Allaah make clear His Ayaat (proofs, evidences, lessons, signs, revelations, verses, laws, legal and illegal things, Allaah’s set limits, orders, etc.) to mankind that they may become Al-Muttaqoon (the pious)”
[al-Baqarah 2:187]
Thus it is clear that Allaah has defined for them what is permissible for them and what is forbidden to them, so that they will not approach what is forbidden and they will not go beyond what is permitted. Hence Allaah says in another verse (interpretation of the meaning): 
“These are the limits ordained by Allaah, so do not transgress them. And whoever transgresses the limits ordained by Allaah, then such are the Zaalimoon (wrongdoers)”
[al-Baqarah 2:229]
The one who grazes around a sanctuary and close to it will soon enter it. The same applies to one who goes beyond what is permitted and falls into doubtful areas. He approaches something haraam with the intention of merely coming close, but soon he will commit forbidden actions blatantly. This indicates that we must keep away from haraam things, and erect barriers between us and them. 
Jaami’ al-‘Uloom wa’l-Hukam, 1/208 
May Allaah protect us and you from all evils, and make us and you content with that which He has permitted. May He give us enough of what is permissible that we have no need of that which He has forbidden. 
And Allaah knows best.

Praise be to Allah.There are many reasons for hating this world. There are some people who dislike this transient world and long for that which is with Allah of reward, and who love to meet Allah. Hence some of the salaf said: “The gift of the believer is death.” For he detests this world and his heart is attached to the Hereafter. Yet despite his dislike for this world, he carries out his duties towards Allah and His slaves, and he strives to do good as much as he can, in accordance with the words of Allah (interpretation of the meaning): 
 
“And worship your Lord until there comes unto you the certainty (i.e. death)”
[al-Hijr 15:99] 
And there are some people who detest this world, not because of the Hereafter, but because they think that their share of it is very little, and that others are better off then them. Undoubtedly this is a kind of discontent with the will and decree of Allah, for Allah is the One Who bestows blessings and distributes provisions, as He says (interpretation of the meaning): 
“And if Allah were to enlarge the provision for His slaves, they would surely rebel in the earth, but He sends down by measure as He wills. Verily, He is, in respect of His slaves, the Well‑Aware, the All‑Seer (of things that benefit them)”
[al-Shoora 42:27]
Some people hate this world because they have been faced with a great deal of trial, stress and exhaustion in it. Undoubtedly these people do not understand the true nature of this world. This world is the realm of striving and trial, the realm of stress and exhaustion, especially for the righteous believer, who encounters all kinds of trials by means of which Allah expiates his sins and raises him in status. Allah says (interpretation of the meaning): 
“Verily, We have created man in toil”
[al-Balad 90:4] 
“Do people think that they will be left alone because they say: ‘We believe,’ and will not be tested.
3. And We indeed tested those who were before them. And Allah will certainly make (it) known (the truth of) those who are true, and will certainly make (it) known (the falsehood of) those who are liars, (although Allah knows all that before putting them to test)”
[al-‘Ankaboot 29:2-3] 
 
“Allah will not leave the believers in the state in which you are now, until He distinguishes the wicked from the good. Nor will Allah disclose to you the secrets of the Ghayb (Unseen), but Allah chooses of His Messengers whom He wills. So believe in Allah and His Messengers. And if you believe and fear Allah, then for you there is a great reward”
[Aal ‘Imraan 3:179] 
“And certainly, We shall test you with something of fear, hunger, loss of wealth, lives and fruits, but give glad tidings to As‑ Saabiroon (the patient).
156. Who, when afflicted with calamity, say: “Truly, to Allah we belong and truly, to Him we shall return.”
157. They are those on whom are the Salawaat (i.e. who are blessed and will be forgiven) from their Lord, and (they are those who) receive His Mercy, and it is they who are the guided ones”
[al-Baqarah 2:155-157]
My dear brother… into which of these categories do you fall? 
Remember how the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) was tested. His people showed enmity towards him, and the closest of people to him resisted him. Some people slandered him, others persecuted him. He was thrown out of his home and was subjected to a harsh boycott. The kuffaar gathered together to kill him, and his wife Khadeejah (may Allah be pleased with her) died at the most difficult time. He would go for a month or two at a time without eating anything but dates and water. All of this happened even though he was the Prophet of Allah, and His Messenger, the one to whom Allah entrusted His Revelation. All of this happened even though he is the owner of the position of praise and glory (al-maqaam al-mahmoud) and the Cistern (al-hawd) to which his ummah will come (on the Day of Resurrection). All of this happened even though his sins, past and future, had been forgiven. 
So what about us, with all our sins and shortcomings? 
I advise you to do the following: 
Firstly: make a lot of du’aa’, calling upon Allah, and seek to draw close to Him by different kinds of worship, such as praying, giving zakaah, fasting and so on. Beseech Allah to take away what is in your heart (of sorrow etc) and to grant you relief. Allah says (interpretation of the meaning): 
“Those who believed (in the Oneness of Allah — Islamic Monotheism), and whose hearts find rest in the remembrance of Allah verily, in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find rest”
[al-Ra’d 13:28] 
“Verily, those who are Al-Muttaqoon (the pious), when an evil thought comes to them from Shaytaan (Satan), they remember (Allah), and (indeed) they then see (aright)”
[al-A’raaf 7:201]
Secondly: Understand that whatever Allah decrees for His believing slave is all good. No matter how difficult your life may become, to Allah belong all things in the heavens and the earth. So set things straight between yourself and Allah, and Allah will suffice you against having any need of people. 
Thirdly: Your depression and tiredness may be because of something that you have missed out on and not acquired or achieved. In that case you should know how often a person has pursued something, not realizing that in it lay his doom; and how often has a person grieved for missing out on something he wanted, but he does not know that had he attained it, it would have spelled loss in both his spiritual and worldly affairs. So accept the will and decree of Allah, and seek the help of Allah, and do not feel helpless. 
Fourthly: Check your heart and mind, and examine your relationship with Allah thoroughly, because a person may be denied provision because of sins that he commits. 
Fifthly: You may have some personal or family problems; the way to solve these problems is by prioritizing them. Seek the help of Allah (first and foremost), then the help of experienced people to solve these problems, and resolve these issues. 
Sixthly: remember that the most sorely tried of all people were the Prophets, then the next best and the next best. It is proven in al-Musnad from the hadeeth of Mus’ab ibn Sa’d that his father said: I said: O Messenger of Allah, which of the people are most sorely tested? He said: “The Prophets, then the righteous, then the next best, then the next best of people. A man will be tested according to his level of religious commitment. If there is some solidness in his religious commitment, he will be more sorely tested, and if there is some weakness in his religious commitment the test will be lightened for him. A man will continue to be tested until he walks upon the face of the earth with no sin on him.” Musnad al-Imam Ahmad, no. 1481. Shaykh Shu’ayb al-Arna’oot said: its isnaad is hasan. And it was classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’, no. 992. 
Seventhly: Persist in praying for forgiveness and in worshipping. That is better for you than all the worldly steps you can take, no matter how great and how many they are. This will also relieve your worries. It was narrated in some reports that whoever persists in praying for forgiveness, Allah will grant him a way out from every worry and hardship and will grant him provision from sources he never thought of. 
So persist in worshipping Allah, and act in accordance with the words of Allah (interpretation of the meaning):  
 
“And worship your Lord until there comes unto you the certainty (i.e. death)”
[al-Hijr 15:99] 
“And strain not your eyes in longing for the things We have given for enjoyment to various groups of them (polytheists and disbelievers in the Oneness of Allah), the splendour of the life of this world, that We may test them thereby. But the provision (good reward in the Hereafter) of your Lord is better and more lasting”
[Ta-Ha 20:131] 
May Allah help us and you to do and say that which is right. And Allah knows best. 
See: Dealing with Worries and Stress in the Books section of this website.

Praise be to Allah.If her brother was her
guardian, then the marriage is valid and they have no right to take your
wife away from you. This is wrongdoing on their part. They had no right to
harass you in order to take money from you. The wealth of a Muslim is not
permissible to anyone unless he gives it willingly. 
You have to go to the
sharee’ah courts and turn to the scholars and prominent figures in order to
resolve this problem. 
With regard to killing
him and killing any member of his family, all of that, as you mention in
your question, is a major sin that is worse than blowing up the Ka’bah. 
Whoever does that, the
curse of Allaah, the angels and all the people will be upon him, and his
recompense will be Hell, to abide therein for eternity. 
We ask Allaah to keep us
safe and sound, and to set the affairs of the Muslims straight.

Praise be to Allah.Types of cosmetic surgery 
Cosmetic surgery may be divided into two categories: 
1 – Essential surgery 
These are operations that are done to remove faults, such as those that result from sickness, traffic accidents, burns, etc. or to remove congenital defects with which a person was born, such as to remove an extra digit or separate fused digits, etc. 
This kind of operation is permissible. There is evidence in the Sunnah to indicate that they are permissible and that the one who does them does not intend to change the creation of Allah. 
(i) ‘Arfajah ibn As’ad narrated that he lost his nose in the battle of al-Kulab during the Jahiliyyah, so he wore a nose made of silver but it became putrid, so the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) told him to wear a nose made of gold. Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 1770; Abu Dawud, 4232; al-Nasai, 5161. This hadith was classed as hasan by Shaykh al-Albani in Irwa al-Ghalil, 824.
(ii) ‘Abd-Allah ibn Mas’ud said: I heard the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) cursing those women who pluck their eyebrows and file their teeth for the purpose of beautification and change the creation of Allah. Narrated by al-Bukhari and Muslim.
Al-Nawawi (may Allah have mercy on him) said: 
With regard to the phrase “those who file their teeth”, this refers to those who did that for the purpose of beautification and looking younger. This indicates that what is haram is that which is done for the purpose of beautification; but if it is needed for medical treatment or to correct a fault in the teeth and so on, there is nothing wrong with it. And Allah knows best. 
Cosmetic surgery for the purpose of beautification
2 – The second type of cosmetic surgery is that which is done for the purpose of beautification. 
These are operations that are done to improve the appearance in the eye of the beholder, such as making the nose look more beautiful by making it smaller, or making the breasts look more beautiful by making them smaller or larger, or facelifts, and so on. 
This kind of surgery is not for any necessary reason, rather the purpose is to change the creation of Allah and tinker with it according to people’s whims and desires. So this is haram and it is not permissible to do it, because it is changing the creation of Allah. Allah says (interpretation of the meaning): 
“They (all those who worship others other than Allah) invoke nothing but female deities besides Him (Allah), and they invoke nothing but Shaytan (Satan), a persistent rebel! Allah cursed him. And he [Shaytan (Satan)] said: ‘I will take an appointed portion of your slaves. ‘Verily, I will mislead them, and surely, I will arouse in them false desires; and certainly, I will order them to slit the ears of cattle, and indeed I will order them to change the nature created by Allah’” [al-Nisa’ 4:117-119]
The Shaytan is the one who tells people to change the creation of Allah. 
Please see: Ahkam al-Jarahah al-Tibbiyyah by Shaykh Muhammad al-Mukhtar al-Shanqiti. 
Shaykh Muhammad ibn Salih al-‘Uthaymin (may Allah have mercy on him) was asked: 
What is the ruling on cosmetic surgery? What is the ruling on learning the science of beautification? 
He replied: 
Cosmetic procedures are of two types: 
1 – Those which are done to remove a fault resulting from an accident etc. There is nothing wrong with that because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) gave permission to a man whose nose had been cut off in battle to wear a nose made of gold. 
2 – Those which are unnecessary and are not done to remove a fault but rather to increase beauty. This is haram and is not permissible, because the Messenger of Allah cursed women who pluck eyebrows, those who have their eyebrows plucked, those who fix hair extensions, those who have hair extensions done, those who do tattoos and those  who have tattoos done, because that is done as an enhancement and is not done to remove faults. 
With regard to the medical student who learns about cosmetic surgery during the course of his studies, there is nothing wrong with him learning that, but he should not do that in haram cases, rather he should advise those who ask for that to avoid it because it is haram. Perhaps if this advice comes from the lips of a doctor it will have more effect on a person. (Fatawa Islamiyyah, 4/412)
See also the answer to question no. 1006 . 
In conclusion, if there is some defect in the nose and the purpose of the cosmetic surgery is to remove that defect, then there is nothing wrong with that. 
But if the purpose is simply to make it more beautiful, then it is not permissible to do this surgery. 
And Allah knows best.